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G
Okay, I get it. I was not thinking about it in that sense. And -- it does make [ the most ] sense.
However, the phrase is also used in a way that is preventive -- resulting in "no opportunity for sex"...
I was confused about how that fit into the context of what you were saying.
Thanks for clearing that up...
However, the phrase is also used in a way that is preventive -- resulting in "no opportunity for sex"...
I was confused about how that fit into the context of what you were saying.
Thanks for clearing that up...
Okay, I get it. I was not thinking about it in that sense. And -- it does make [ the most ] sense.
However, the phrase is also used in a way that is preventive -- resulting in "no opportunity for sex"...
I was confused about how that fit into the context of what you were saying.
Thanks for clearing that up...
However, the phrase is also used in a way that is preventive -- resulting in "no opportunity for sex"...
I was confused about how that fit into the context of what you were saying.
Thanks for clearing that up...
A
*Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. *Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. *The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. *Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. - 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1Corinthians7:2-5&version=NKJV
Messy,
Why would you say that about not wanting sex? First of all, people with autism are just like any other person. They have sexual desires too. People with all kinds of disabilities have children and have healthy sex lives. You really need to educate yourself about people with disabilities. Also, a person can not want sex for several reasons other than a porn addiction or ED. They could have a decrease in testosterone causing a decrease in libido. They could no longer be attracted to their mate, they could be physically tired from working too much, they could feel unloved and not want intimacy with their partner, etc. There are a plethora of reasons that a person might not want sex, but "being autistic" is not one of them.
Why would you say that about not wanting sex? First of all, people with autism are just like any other person. They have sexual desires too. People with all kinds of disabilities have children and have healthy sex lives. You really need to educate yourself about people with disabilities. Also, a person can not want sex for several reasons other than a porn addiction or ED. They could have a decrease in testosterone causing a decrease in libido. They could no longer be attracted to their mate, they could be physically tired from working too much, they could feel unloved and not want intimacy with their partner, etc. There are a plethora of reasons that a person might not want sex, but "being autistic" is not one of them.
What ever the lack and there is the lack of something the one thing that you should do as a Mother is get yourself and those kids to church. Pray for your husband and keep talking to God. Give God this situation and you continue to take the kids and yourself to church. If nothing else they are learning about God and how to love Him and you are recharging your batteries to continue to live with your husband.
Who knows maybe if he sees you are committed to the Lord your husband will want to go to church with you and when people give their hearts to God things change. Usually for the better.
Who knows maybe if he sees you are committed to the Lord your husband will want to go to church with you and when people give their hearts to God things change. Usually for the better.
B
Kris, My perspective.
Sorry to read over your Marriage troubles. I am going to give you perspective on my own checking out experience. I am openly admitting to everyone how damaging this is to a marriage. What you need to understand is it really comes down to "who became selfish first". I am not going to tell you to get a divorce. What your husband is looking for is to blame the divorce on you. He is waiting for you to pull the trigger. He is cowardly and looking to blame. Obviously you have been to counseling. However it takes two people working together, not just talking about it. To make the marriage work two people must make the effort in action.
I have read your observation of your husband. He was once like me. He is his worst enemy. I am being as honest as possible and is tired of his current situation. Things that men want. Its one of these things. People are going to quote me on this and say no I am wrong. He is a million miles away because he is thinking he can do better "Ego". He thinking he can do better and their is a better life and you are telling him no. The mention of no means to a man that he is feeling a sense of inferiority. Then he starts thinking well she is keeping me from my goals and achieving life and he cant stand it! That's where he feels he is not being supported at home.
He may simply have someone else distracting him. It could be his influences at work or friends. It could be another woman in a worst case. Pumping up his ego distracting him and holding his focus. I am not telling you to interrogate him. What I am telling you is to be Genuine. And you need to find out.
Sex! I know this is going to make some women in her upset. When you first got together when things were new. Did you maintain, meaning, Take care of yourself? Physically, mentally, did you stop doing things that you enjoyed away from your husband? If you and He stopped taking care of yourselves in everything even your bodies. That can have a strain on your marriage. Because you two are constantly together and you never spend enough time away from each other to actually miss each other. When was the last time you dated? An actual date? Kids away, just you and him. Just because your married does not mean you stop dating each other. He is seeking sex from another because of that "ego".
Money. Is he happy with his career and being a provider? Is he actually passionate about it? If no. Guess what his masculine core is non existent. He feels like a failure and can not provide the life that he wants for his family. He feels that he is not good enough. He wants to be where those people are and be successful and be liked "ego". He sounds very thirsty. I bet you he is not happy at all in what he does for a living. It is very important that a man feel successful. When a man is passionate about what he does. He is liked. He is making the living he wants. And all of the blessings from God. He is happy.
Kris you are very much in love with your husband. You have mentioned this several times. His distance is something else, someone else and his Ego. I am not telling you to divorce him. Do you even know what his love language is? Yours may be lots of affection and physical touch. His affection may be material. Do you know? Or it maybe something else. See you never stop dating and discovering your spouse. How do you speak to each other? If its condescending and rude. Your going to get rude results. You know a man likes his ego boosted?
Reason I checked out and admitting this to everyone. Because I started thinking and knowing I can have better. The society of today is constantly telling and airing. Better this and that Self self self. What he needs to know and what I realized. " I stopped wishing "things" were better. I started wishing "I" was better." That better meant "Why can I not be better for my family and Wife?". Another woman was not a solution to my problem or will it be a solution his problem. By the time I realized this question of me being better, constantly discovering my wife. It was years after my divorce.
However he has to believe it. He has to feel it to heal it. It takes two. If he has decided no. Their is nothing you can do. I tell you to pray. Genuinely talk to him. Get more Counseling. Start dating. Start taking care of your marriage. Take care of your health and support each other. Rediscover each other.
Sorry to read over your Marriage troubles. I am going to give you perspective on my own checking out experience. I am openly admitting to everyone how damaging this is to a marriage. What you need to understand is it really comes down to "who became selfish first". I am not going to tell you to get a divorce. What your husband is looking for is to blame the divorce on you. He is waiting for you to pull the trigger. He is cowardly and looking to blame. Obviously you have been to counseling. However it takes two people working together, not just talking about it. To make the marriage work two people must make the effort in action.
I have read your observation of your husband. He was once like me. He is his worst enemy. I am being as honest as possible and is tired of his current situation. Things that men want. Its one of these things. People are going to quote me on this and say no I am wrong. He is a million miles away because he is thinking he can do better "Ego". He thinking he can do better and their is a better life and you are telling him no. The mention of no means to a man that he is feeling a sense of inferiority. Then he starts thinking well she is keeping me from my goals and achieving life and he cant stand it! That's where he feels he is not being supported at home.
He may simply have someone else distracting him. It could be his influences at work or friends. It could be another woman in a worst case. Pumping up his ego distracting him and holding his focus. I am not telling you to interrogate him. What I am telling you is to be Genuine. And you need to find out.
Sex! I know this is going to make some women in her upset. When you first got together when things were new. Did you maintain, meaning, Take care of yourself? Physically, mentally, did you stop doing things that you enjoyed away from your husband? If you and He stopped taking care of yourselves in everything even your bodies. That can have a strain on your marriage. Because you two are constantly together and you never spend enough time away from each other to actually miss each other. When was the last time you dated? An actual date? Kids away, just you and him. Just because your married does not mean you stop dating each other. He is seeking sex from another because of that "ego".
Money. Is he happy with his career and being a provider? Is he actually passionate about it? If no. Guess what his masculine core is non existent. He feels like a failure and can not provide the life that he wants for his family. He feels that he is not good enough. He wants to be where those people are and be successful and be liked "ego". He sounds very thirsty. I bet you he is not happy at all in what he does for a living. It is very important that a man feel successful. When a man is passionate about what he does. He is liked. He is making the living he wants. And all of the blessings from God. He is happy.
Kris you are very much in love with your husband. You have mentioned this several times. His distance is something else, someone else and his Ego. I am not telling you to divorce him. Do you even know what his love language is? Yours may be lots of affection and physical touch. His affection may be material. Do you know? Or it maybe something else. See you never stop dating and discovering your spouse. How do you speak to each other? If its condescending and rude. Your going to get rude results. You know a man likes his ego boosted?
Reason I checked out and admitting this to everyone. Because I started thinking and knowing I can have better. The society of today is constantly telling and airing. Better this and that Self self self. What he needs to know and what I realized. " I stopped wishing "things" were better. I started wishing "I" was better." That better meant "Why can I not be better for my family and Wife?". Another woman was not a solution to my problem or will it be a solution his problem. By the time I realized this question of me being better, constantly discovering my wife. It was years after my divorce.
However he has to believe it. He has to feel it to heal it. It takes two. If he has decided no. Their is nothing you can do. I tell you to pray. Genuinely talk to him. Get more Counseling. Start dating. Start taking care of your marriage. Take care of your health and support each other. Rediscover each other.