Yes I agree. Get healthy yourself, let God heal you up. Then he may change or not, but somehow you have to set boundaries. Don't know how in this case. Threaten with divorce? Tell him you're not gonna live like that for years? I knew a couple who stayed together for the kids for 18 years, just living like brother and sister. They both didn't want to make it work and because he got nothing he got it on the street turned out later. They should have divorced much earlier.