I Don't Like Men

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Nov 26, 2019
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#61
@ VineyardsOfEngedi
I understand what you mean, us men can be very disappointing. Honestly I don't think it's so much a "man" thing as it is a "human being" thing. This is why expectations are so dangerous. I've been in a totally committed relationship, by His grace, for 23 years and you know what the most dangerous thing I can have as far as my own peace of mind is? Expectations. People are always going to fall short of our expectations, and I honestly feel they (expectations) are not only wrong, but also completely selfish, they are by very nature what we want. I'm not saying they are all bad, or we can't have good expectations, I'm just saying that waiting for someone to meet your expectations is a fools game really. At this point I want to make very clear I am speaking very generally right now. I do not know you and have no idea of how you feel, see things, or the angle you're coming at this from, and I'm not trying to "teach or fix" you. I'm simply trying to share my perspective here, for what it's worth.

Jesus came to serve, and this was the behavior He modeled by example, and for me personally in my relationship and marriage to my wife have found that coming at it with any other spirit, or attitude than to serve her, if I have ANY kind of expectation it will most likely lead to some kind of disappointment. This said, for me it is utterly impossible to keep up, but the more aware of this I am, the more I catch it in myself, the more I, by His Spirit, am able to see, identify, and actually change it, the closer we grow together, the closer we grow to God, and the more He is glorified. So the main attitude is "what I can do for them", and not, "what they can do to complete me". This again is very general and not in any way directed at you personally, who I don't know. You could very well think this way already and I'm preaching to the choir, I again am only trying to share what I've come to see. Where are men falling so short for you? Just all after the same thing by any means necessary? I know the pop culture, worldly and foolish way the people look at relationships, but don't give up. There are people out there that know how to love.
I believe that I shouldn't have to settle for anything less than godly expectations and shouldn't have to compromise that. Godly expectations don't disappoint.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
12,881
3,133
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#63
Do you know how many I started?
Hi Vineyards,

If you go to a person's profile page and it's publicly viewable, there is a "Find" button that allows you to see all the threads that member has started.

Tourist is correct in that on your Find Threads page, there are 18 titles listed.
 
Nov 26, 2019
457
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#64
Hi Vineyards,

If you go to a person's profile page and it's publicly viewable, there is a "Find" button that allows you to see all the threads that member has started.

Tourist is correct in that on your Find Threads page, there are 18 titles listed.
🤦🏻‍♀️ That only shows what was approved, doesn't show how many I started approved or not.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
12,881
3,133
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#65
🤦🏻‍♀️ That only shows what was approved, doesn't show how many I started approved or not.
You had some threads you started that weren't approved then? So that list doesn't accurately reflect the number of threads you tried to start?

The approval system is fairly new to the site, so I'm not sure what all the rules are for approving, disapproving, or deleting threads.

Sorry to hear your list of threads apparently isn't correct.

Maybe you can ask Oncefallen about them?
 

posthuman

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2013
30,835
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#69
I know that you meant this in a positive way, but why should I deal with the "situation" for the benefit of a future man and not just for my wellbeing? Maybe you meant to say this, IDK.
no one is good but God. no man, no woman

i don't think you should spend effort trying to convince yourself that's not true, but rather, spend time learning about mercy, compassion, and forgiveness :)
that's as much for your benefit, if not more - but mostly, such things are God's will for all of us


((not that i think Dino meant any different - that's what i would call 'dealing with situation' and i think Dino & i would be pretty much on same page about it))

i ain't arguing with you over misanthropy. perfectly understandable from my point of view, even 'woke' actually - but He wills us to love one another, unworthiness notwithstanding. if that makes sense?
 

Ghoti2

Well-known member
Nov 8, 2019
469
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#71
Hey! Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean the whole world really ISN'T out to get me.
 

morefaithrequired

Well-known member
Sep 28, 2019
2,194
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#72
"I have this huge, extreme, major, disgust disappoint of men". This is what you said.

HUGE = PARANOIA
EXTREME = PARANOIA
MAJOR = PARANOIA

Paranoid personality disorder (PPD) is one of a group of conditions called "Cluster A" personality disorders which involve odd or eccentric ways of thinking. People with PPD also suffer from paranoia, an unrelenting mistrust and suspicion of others, even when there is no reason to be suspicious. This disorder usually begins by early adulthood and appears to be more common in men than in women.

What Are the Symptoms of Paranoid Personality Disorder?
People with PPD are always on guard, believing that others are constantly trying to demean, harm, or threaten them. These generally unfounded beliefs, as well as their habits of blame and distrust, might interfere with their ability to form close relationships. People with this disorder:

  • Doubt the commitment, loyalty, or trustworthiness of others, believing others are using or deceiving them
  • Are reluctant to confide in others or reveal personal information due to a fear that the information will be used against them
  • Are unforgiving and hold grudges
  • Are hypersensitive and take criticism poorly
  • Read hidden meanings in the innocent remarks or casual looks of others
  • Perceive attacks on their character that are not apparent to others; they generally react with anger and are quick to retaliate
  • Have recurrent suspicions, without reason, that their spouses or lovers are being unfaithful
  • Are generally cold and distant in their relationships with others, and might become controlling and jealous
  • Cannot see their role in problems or conflicts and believe they are always right
  • Have difficulty relaxing
  • Are hostile, stubborn, and argumentative
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/paranoid-personality-disorder#1-2
I think narcissist is closer to the money. Theres been a pattern with her posts. Trollish and provocative attention seeking. worse than me... ??? 😀
 

morefaithrequired

Well-known member
Sep 28, 2019
2,194
1,260
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#73
Hey! Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean the whole world really ISN'T out to get me.
Or was it Woody Allen who said
"Im paranoid just in case they really are out to get me. Its like insurance."
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,418
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#74
I don't like any men except morefaithrequired.

Including myself. I hate myself for loving me.
 

MegMarch

Well-known member
Nov 11, 2019
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#76
I don't like any men except morefaithrequired.

Including myself. I hate myself for loving me.
I don’t know how anyone couldn’t love someone who rests their hand pensively on Homer’s bust.
 

MegMarch

Well-known member
Nov 11, 2019
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410
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#77
I think narcissist is closer to the money. Theres been a pattern with her posts. Trollish and provocative attention seeking. worse than me... ??? 😀
You really need to get your provocative, attention seeking behavior under control. You already scared away the Amish women. What next?
 
Nov 26, 2019
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#80
I think narcissist is closer to the money. Theres been a pattern with her posts. Trollish and provocative attention seeking. worse than me... ??? 😀
You really need to get your provocative, attention seeking behavior under control. You already scared away the Amish women. What next?
Hush it Alby, go back to the cave.