I Don't Like Men

[Hungry]

well that's not true

I once upon a time had one of those movie men...looks, danger, intelligence. a ladies' man...you know....the dangerous type

thing is, he really was dangerous. he was killed...had a hit put out on him

I was no longer with him or I would have been killed also. the woman that was with him was also killed. I came to my senses...with lots of people praying for me.

men enjoy women as a dangerous play thing? are you trying to be funny?

I would advise women everywhere to stay the hee haw away from you

I think it was a quote from Socrates, I just didn’t have time to look up the reference.

I have yet to see a chick flick where the happy couple get murdered by a contract killer. That sounds more like a mafia movie, and they are closer to reality.

I really don’t expect most people (women especially) to agree with me. It doesn’t mean I’m wrong, it just means most people like to cling to the dilutions that give them hope for future with happiness ushered in by an external source, preventing them from facing their own inadequacies.

 

[7seasrekeyed]

I think it was a quote from Socrates, I just didn’t have time to look up the reference.

I have yet to see a chick flick where the happy couple get murdered by a contract killer. That sounds more like a mafia movie, and they are closer to reality.

I really don’t expect most people (women especially) to agree with me. It doesn’t mean I’m wrong, it just means most people like to cling to the dilutions that give them hope for future with happiness ushered in by an external source, preventing them from facing their own inadequacies.

Socrates? is he one of the psychiatrists you quoted?

I told you. stop watching chick flicks. I'm a chickie and I don't like them myself (I'm not really a chickie haha)

I don't have the 'perfect love' illusions. you have to work on marriage and love has tides like the ocean. sometimes you want to clobber them and other times you don't know what you would do without 'em

I don't understand why you would write what you have on a thread where a woman is asking for help though

you more or less underscored her problem

people always hope...sometimes it's all people have. when hope is gone, is when some people commit suicide

honestly though, God has supplied what we need AND actually want. He is faithful, just and the Bible states that He is love.

He doesn't just 'have' love...He IS love...His love is action and not sentiment or emotions. that is why it does not change and we can depend on Him

but you pretty much get what you put into your relationship with God

 

[VineyardsOfEngedi]

Whatever the case may be, you are to Love God and Love your male or female neighbor

Apart of the sanctification process, is rejecting ourselves and conforming into God's will, my advice would be to put to death your evil thoughts through Jesus Christ, kill sin.

Why are my thoughts evil or sin?

 

[VineyardsOfEngedi]

It's terrible advice, because someone who is struggling with an emotional situation of this nature is in no condition to be starting a relationship. It is far better (and more respectful to a future partner) to deal with the situation first.

I know that you meant this in a positive way, but why should I deal with the "situation" for the benefit of a future man and not just for my wellbeing? Maybe you meant to say this, IDK.

 

[Magenta]

Why are my thoughts evil or sin?

Perhaps (and I am just guessing) it was meant in the spirit of along the lines of, anything not done in faith is sin. Aside from that, as Ghoti2 said, it would be to your benefit to explore the genesis of these feelings you have so you can come to a better understanding of yourself and also learn to take responsibility when appropriate.

I know that you meant this in a positive way, but why should I deal with the "situation" for the benefit of a future man and not just for my wellbeing? Maybe you meant to say this, IDK.

It would definitely be for your well being also

 

[Jimbone]

@ VineyardsOfEngedi
I understand what you mean, us men can be very disappointing. Honestly I don't think it's so much a "man" thing as it is a "human being" thing. This is why expectations are so dangerous. I've been in a totally committed relationship, by His grace, for 23 years and you know what the most dangerous thing I can have as far as my own peace of mind is? Expectations. People are always going to fall short of our expectations, and I honestly feel they (expectations) are not only wrong, but also completely selfish, they are by very nature what we want. I'm not saying they are all bad, or we can't have good expectations, I'm just saying that waiting for someone to meet your expectations is a fools game really. At this point I want to make very clear I am speaking very generally right now. I do not know you and have no idea of how you feel, see things, or the angle you're coming at this from, and I'm not trying to "teach or fix" you. I'm simply trying to share my perspective here, for what it's worth.

Jesus came to serve, and this was the behavior He modeled by example, and for me personally in my relationship and marriage to my wife have found that coming at it with any other spirit, or attitude than to serve her, if I have ANY kind of expectation it will most likely lead to some kind of disappointment. This said, for me it is utterly impossible to keep up, but the more aware of this I am, the more I catch it in myself, the more I, by His Spirit, am able to see, identify, and actually change it, the closer we grow together, the closer we grow to God, and the more He is glorified. So the main attitude is "what I can do for them", and not, "what they can do to complete me". This again is very general and not in any way directed at you personally, who I don't know. You could very well think this way already and I'm preaching to the choir, I again am only trying to share what I've come to see. Where are men falling so short for you? Just all after the same thing by any means necessary? I know the pop culture, worldly and foolish way the people look at relationships, but don't give up. There are people out there that know how to love.

 

[VineyardsOfEngedi]

You are. What you stated in your OP is a PARANOID state of mind.

The normal state of mind for single men and women is to SEEK OUT another person of the opposite sex in order to have a loving long-term relationship which involves children and family. It takes effort on both sides.

You asked for advice, and the best advice is to get out of your own paranoid prison and move on. We create our own paranoia, and we can also get rid of it if we choose to do so.

This is the worldly normal state of mind.

 

[Dino246]

I know that you meant this in a positive way, but why should I deal with the "situation" for the benefit of a future man and not just for my wellbeing? Maybe you meant to say this, IDK.

I guess that was a little confusing. My comment was in response to Nehemiah's advice specifically, and not made in reference to your situation.

 

[Butterflyyy]

Oh nice, my other threads are not published and I ask this one not to be and is, very nice. Thanks.

Hey how are you doing? x

 

[Butterflyyy]

I have this huge, extreme, major, disgust disappoint of men. How do I get rid of this?

Someone hurt you badly I think.... and Jesus cares....and He can heal your heart... I'm sure He will... in time... if you let Him....xxx

 

[Jimbone]

Someone hurt you badly I think.... and Jesus cares....and He can heal your heart... I'm sure He will... in time... if you let Him....xxx

Amen and He will NEVER disappoint.

 

[Tinkerbell725]

I have this huge, extreme, major, disgust disappoint of men. How do I get rid of this?

Learn to have more patience. If you can tolerate yourself or even like yourself despite knowing yourself well, with all your imperfections, i'm sure you can tolerate others since you only had a glimpse of their faults.

I also have this disgust of people in general not only men. If you observe people, listen more and talk less, you can only like very few people. Introverts are good at this, maybe that is the reason they only have few friends. People are selfish but some try hard not to be, so give people many chances.

 

[reneweddaybyday]

I have this huge, extreme, major, disgust disappoint of men. How do I get rid of this?

Is the Lord Jesus Christ included in your "huge, extreme, major, disgust disappoint of men"?

The Lord Jesus Christ is the only way you "get rid of this one".


1 Peter 1:

18 Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers;

19 But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:

20 Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you,

21 Who by him do believe in God, that raised him up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in God.

22 Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently:

23 Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.

 

[tourist]

Can I delete this post ? 😔😞

Only during the 5 minute interval once it is posted.

 

[tourist]

Oh nice, my other threads are not published and I ask this one not to be and is, very nice. Thanks.

I believe that you have at least 18 active threads right now that you have started.

 

[tourist]

Can't answer that question without anyone getting offended, so just disregard this thread.

I'm quite sure that I would not be offended in the slightest.

 

[VineyardsOfEngedi]

I somewhat get where Nehemiah is coming from. Perhaps standing in your face with a bullhorn is why it's not going over well.
Nor is posting about personality disorder, which would likely not be a fitting post.

I'm going to take a guess that perhaps a man, or men, have done some hurtful things to you. And if that's the case your fears are understandable. This could make one paranoid that all men are bad and will hurt you. This is founded in experience and not a mind that is damaged, but rather a damaged heart.
But I am paranoid about women. Not to the extent you are towards men, but I have my own paranoias, fears, directed towards women in romantic situations. And this stems from my own past experiences of being hurt.

So paranoia has a loosely fitting application, but not really an ideal suggestion as using the term has so much of a stigma that, in this case, it adds more problems than it helps. Especially since it's not 100% fitting.

And, no, getting into a relationship is not ideal to overcome this. I'd skip the idea completely for now. Pick a guy to get to know. One guy. No rush. No romance. And see how much you can learn about that man that goes against what you already expect. Learning to slowly trust one man can open doors. Baby steps.
But keep one thing in mind. Your experiences may be with men, but it's not a gender problem in reality. The things women have done to me have been emotionally destructive to me as well. And I could have gone down a path of distrusting all women (and some women have told me they were surprised I haven't) but I try to see each woman as an individual, not all as the same.

Im surprised your reply didn't get any likes, you probably hit some nails.

And yes it's not a gender issue, it's both males and females alike that have hurt me but I'd start a riot had I posted both.

 

[VineyardsOfEngedi]

I may have discribed it differently, but I think I had faced a similar situation.😅

Growing up in a broken family with very "cold" people all around me.... I ended up believing all women were like those I have met in my own experience.

I've seen .... some messed up stuff... regularly... for years....


Then when I became a Christian in my early 20's I held on to the understanding of women I have gained through experience and stories....


Welp... God started changing me in ways I never expected.

I grew softer and softer and started hating things that God hates and loving to do good on to others....

I knew that God can do this to anyone, but it took awhile and meeting many lovely born again women who really did love Jesus and have God working in them too to see how one sided and limited my understanding was.


We can't paint everyone with the same brush when all of us have our own walk and our own values.

Even if a man is not Christian does not mean he would give you ANY reason to dislike him....

__________

I think finding out exactly why you feel this way... and also accepting one man or 100,000 men cant represent all men may help you

"Christian" men have been the bigger disappointment than "worldly" men.

 

[VineyardsOfEngedi]

This is exactly why our medical system is failing. That describes almost 80% of the women I’ve ever known (not biblically). The psychologists describe just about every natural person, label them with a disorder so the pharmaceutical companies can make drugs that seem valid to the benefit companies to pay for. That way everyone is making money. After one statement that most likely every woman could attest to, you already have her labeled. The bigger problem isn’t some psychiatric evaluation, it that the media in general has brainwashed women and men into having expectations in others that will never be met.

The only expectations I have are godly, which men "Christian" men fail at terribly.

 

[VineyardsOfEngedi]

from bad to worse as usual

is it possible that you can only see the women's forum if you have a paid membership?

anyway, right now I am also pretty disgusted with some of the responses from men

some of you have no idea how much some men have let women down

right here on this forum for instance, we regularly have threads started by men who OBVIOUSLY have quite a bit they are holding against women and they disguise it by saying women should dress appropriately

it seems a burlap sack covering the entire body, with eye holes cut out to prevent a woman from accidentally bumping into a man, would be the preferred dress code

the muslims have this one figured out

I did pay a subscription unless they lied about having access to things, otherwise I don't see a ladies forum.