Interfaith Marriage

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7seasrekeyed

Guest
#21
If I'm being 100% forward, I'm certain she is in a cult and I found out about how much of a cult it is and don't want to raise my children in one. I apologize for expecting more compassion from this group and instead I'm being told to suck it up. If you found out the truth about your faith wouldn't you want to save your family from it?

I understand your conflict. so does God. please consider what I wrote above.

you will only get limited help here as everyone has an opinion and it is easy to tell another what to do when the person giving the advice might not even be able to follow their own advice.

try not to be discouraged and I know that's easy to say, but try to understand that is what is real to her and you now believe it is a cult
 
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7seasrekeyed

Guest
#22
Do you have a daily family Bible study? If not, start one. That should not be difficult. Mormons use the KJV.

Focus your Bible study on the things that you have in common. When you reach a point of contention, stop and discuss the differences. If the discussion turns into an argument, stop and move to a new topic.

Remember. Patience. Her faith is deep seated, and she is firmly indoctrinated in it.

problem is the Mormons have their own books...including what is called 'the Book of Mormon'...supposedly another testament of Jesus

I'm not as familiar with the Mormons as I am the Jehovah's witnesses...but it's all online

apparently, the Mormon books carry as much weight as the Bible...so...not an easy thing to get around

I guess one could take the Bible and make comparisons with the book of Mormon...but not exactly a family time around the kitchen table
 

Billyd

Senior Member
May 8, 2014
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#23
problem is the Mormons have their own books...including what is called 'the Book of Mormon'...supposedly another testament of Jesus

I'm not as familiar with the Mormons as I am the Jehovah's witnesses...but it's all online

apparently, the Mormon books carry as much weight as the Bible...so...not an easy thing to get around

I guess one could take the Bible and make comparisons with the book of Mormon...but not exactly a family time around the kitchen table
It's best to use a common book. The KJV is common to both and can be used to minimize conflict. It is best to leave other material our of their Bible study. It is not difficult to get a family study going using it. When the children's devotion is over, spend the next half hour or so on a parent devotion.
 
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7seasrekeyed

Guest
#24
Congratulations on escaping the brainwashing! Women are very socially driven. For her to lose her friends and family and a place she feels accepted won’t be easy. Tread lightly. It will be easier making small transitions. If she thinks you’re wrong and are being overly forceful, will she think you’re being deceived and feel more grounded in her faith to help save you from the lies of the evil one.

man that's just so sad

you constantly make degrading remarks about women

you seem to just enjoy doing it

your obviously limited knowledge does not shed any light on Christ's gospel in which women are not in any way less in God's sight than are men
 
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7seasrekeyed

Guest
#25
It's best to use a common book. The KJV is common to both and can be used to minimize conflict. It is best to leave other material our of their Bible study. It is not difficult to get a family study going using it. When the children's devotion is over, spend the next half hour or so on a parent devotion.

I dunno

I would think a more colloquial translation would serve better

but it's not up to us. here we are on a forum and have a real time/real life situation

actually you do not know whether or not it is difficult for the op to do such a thing

not trying to argue with you; just pointing out we are basically armchair warriors here

but you might have something there with the children then adult devotions...
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
24,688
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#26
Thank you! I just didn't want to offend anyone so I didn't post the denomination. I just wanted general feedback. I need to maintain patience which is so hard.
Others have addressed this, but I'll add a note... Mormons are not considered "Christians" by most (if not all) of the people on this site. Mormons reject many of the core tenets of Christianity, so despite their own identification as "Christian", they simply aren't.

I would encourage you to remain faithful to your wife, pray for her and the kids, and be gentle and patient. God can work this out.

In the meantime, get yourself busy with studying the Bible for yourself. You need to know the truth about God. Start by reading Isaiah 42-50 and the gospel of John.
 

Billyd

Senior Member
May 8, 2014
5,049
1,491
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#27
I dunno

I would think a more colloquial translation would serve better

but it's not up to us. here we are on a forum and have a real time/real life situation

actually you do not know whether or not it is difficult for the op to do such a thing

not trying to argue with you; just pointing out we are basically armchair warriors here

but you might have something there with the children then adult devotions...
Agree.

There is really no one solution to his problem. Everything that we post is a suggestion. He must do what God guides him to do. Our true responsibility to him and his family is to pray that they seek God's guidance and follow it.
 
Nov 26, 2012
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#28
man that's just so sad

you constantly make degrading remarks about women

you seem to just enjoy doing it

your obviously limited knowledge does not shed any light on Christ's gospel in which women are not in any way less in God's sight than are men
I’m sorry that your inability to assess your own gender makes others appear misogynistic. My clear observations dictate my responses. It’s not millions of men snapping endless selfies of themselves and posting them for others to “like”. It’s hardly men starving themselves or throwing up to maintain a favourable body image. God created us different. Men’s stress goes down when they exercise, women’s when they talk to friends. Their desire to be loved and feel needed is maternal and that’s how they were created. Men feel the need to be respected and admired. This is how we were created. If you feel slighted, take it up with the Creator. Because I can do more pushups than you does not gain me favour in God’s eyes, but it’s a ligitamate claim. It’s not a slight, it’s a fact. God created women with many assets that I do not have. It doesn’t mean He loves them more. I accept you do not agree. I don’t care.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,086
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#29
Constant Bible studies, every night. Fathers should be teaching their children... and their families... the word of God.
 

Angela53510

Senior Member
Jan 24, 2011
11,780
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#30
The fact that you revealed she is a Mormon makes all the difference in the world. I was going to tear into you, instead, I see the deep problem you have encountered.

Was she raised Mormon? Were you? Did you have any agreement going into marriage as to which church you would attend and raise your children in?

If she was raised a Mormon, or is a long time member, you are going to have a hard time moving her. She is in a cult. All her friends are there, and her parents and family are Mormon, then she will feel like she suddenly is being torn apart from her church and religious beliefs. That is her security and stability. Plus, she may also believe that only Mormons are saved, so leaving that church would be like losing her salvation. I hope you can open your eyes and see what is happening from her perspective, even if everything she believes is totally wrong, which it is.

If you leave her, she might have to shun you and take your children away, or go into hiding with them. So carrying a big stick isn't going to work.

I agree with those who say start a Bible study at home. You can even compare and contrast the Book of Mormon with the Bible. I was given a BoM the second year I was a Christian. I had already read it twice, plus, I had memorized a lot of KJV as a child. It only took me a few pages to find conflicts between the 2 books, and return the BoM on their next visit. I am sure you can find a book that compares the 2, to prepare yourself. But, this study has to be done with love.
right now you are very angry. No, I don't blame you, but if you promised to attend the Mormon church with her, she may view your actions as outright bullying.

So, you made a commitment to her, love her as Eph 5 says a husband should love his wife as Christ loves the church. Make her feel special. Remember Christ not only suffered for us, he died for us. Can you show that kind of gracious love to your wife? The Bible commands it!
Become a prayer warrior, and pray her into the a kingdom of God. Witness in love, be incredibly gently when you have to correct her for her bad theology.

Mormons are not Christians, because they have so many doctrines not found in the Bible. It is a cult, for sure. But pray, witness and study the Bible. I witnessed and prayed for my dad for 31 years, and he was saved 5 months before he died. My sister got saved last year, 38 years after I started praying for her to be saved and prayed for God to open doors. She phoned me one day and started to tell me about her little a Baptist church. Even I had prayed for both of them, and my grandmother before me, I was shocked when God saved them. That was the whole point of my prayers.

Always remember that it is God who saves people. But God has called us to be witnesses, and show them the love and truth of Jesus Christ! God bless you as you begin to love your wife more, and pray for her. I will pray for you to have strength not to be angry or frustrated with her, but rather, win her with the Word of God, and love her with the same love God has for lost souls.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,086
1,749
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#31
If you took a job out of state and just did not plug in with the Mormons there and went to church elsewhere with her I wonder how that would work. It might if she was genuinely doubting Mormonism herself. It would lessen the social bonds that keep her there maybe.

But that is just an idea, something you might pray about.

Just from a human perspective marrying someone from your religion to raise children with and have them change is rough, even if hers is the wrong one could we have her name to lift up in prayer?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#32
hmm tough one. I have mormon neighbours next door. I cant imagine being married into that cult, its quite a stronghold.

I would just keep reading the Bible and maybe once a week join in with a non denom bible study -have you got any children how old are your children?

when they have really read the Bible (and focus on scripture alone) they might be able to see that mormonism is wrong.

One of my friends in church family is into mormonism and she occasionally attends the mormons church just to be with family. Somehow she is able to worship the Lord while there at the church services and find the common ground, while not accepting all their other erroneous doctrines.

I know heaps of catholics who no longer go to their churches they were raised in but very few former mormons. There are a few books/testimonies written by former mormons but I realise it is very hard to leave it because they will come after you. same with Jehovahs witnesses.

Best way out is prayer.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,668
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#33
Take a deep breath. You have had a change of heart and mind about your membership in your church. You are in a bit of panic and want your family to follow you out. Your wife has not had the same change of mind. The more you bluster at her the more entrenched she is going to become. It is not stubbornness, it is her faith. To her, you would appear as falling away. She will feel the need to protect the children from your defection.
If you care about them you are going to need to become more thoughtful in your approach. You want a positive result. Then there are steps you need to take. Find a church whose theology match yours. Start attending. Be gracious with her and patient. Your words will mean little. Your actions will be everything.
I know you want to get them out. If you yell and demand it will just convince her that she is right. Show by your actions that your faith is the truth. Let your behaviour, your kindness, love, gentleness and faithfulness testify. Pray and love. The love of Christ manifest through you will be your most compelling testimony.
Trust God to love your wife and children more than you do. Go to him for your direction. All the best.
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
8,398
4,423
113
#34
Take a deep breath. You have had a change of heart and mind about your membership in your church. You are in a bit of panic and want your family to follow you out. Your wife has not had the same change of mind. The more you bluster at her the more entrenched she is going to become. It is not stubbornness, it is her faith. To her, you would appear as falling away. She will feel the need to protect the children from your defection.
If you care about them you are going to need to become more thoughtful in your approach. You want a positive result. Then there are steps you need to take. Find a church whose theology match yours. Start attending. Be gracious with her and patient. Your words will mean little. Your actions will be everything.
I know you want to get them out. If you yell and demand it will just convince her that she is right. Show by your actions that your faith is the truth. Let your behaviour, your kindness, love, gentleness and faithfulness testify. Pray and love. The love of Christ manifest through you will be your most compelling testimony.
Trust God to love your wife and children more than you do. Go to him for your direction. All the best.

"Amen"
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presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,086
1,749
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#35
Mormons present themselves as family friendly. But 100+ years ago, it was a movement full of broken families, polygamy, leaders taking wives of followers, kind of like one of the Mormon offshoots today. They have repaired their family image.

I would do some research on cases of the Mormon organizations pushing to break up families in these cases, just to be aware of how they handle it and to know what to look out for.
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
7,426
3,477
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#36
If I'm being 100% forward, I'm certain she is in a cult and I found out about how much of a cult it is and don't want to raise my children in one. I apologize for expecting more compassion from this group and instead I'm being told to suck it up. If you found out the truth about your faith wouldn't you want to save your family from it?
I would have probably helped if you just come out and identified the ""cult"" you believe your wife is in and where you are now currently seeking.. You have kept this information hidden so no one can make any assessment as to if your wife is in a cult or not..

Ok now i read on to the later posts and i see you later revealed that your wife is in the mormon cult... Yep the mormon church is a cult.. And you are right to not wish to remain.. And you are also right to desire to save your family from that cult..

The only advise i can give is to seek the LORD and His actual will and then grow in the knowledge of His will and seek out the best books advising on how to counter the Mormon cult.. So when you decide to attempt to save your family members from that cult you will be in the best spiritual and wisdom shape possible to do so..

I understand you want to save them right NOW but like a boxer if you go into the ring without being trained right and having not developed your skills, then you are going to lose badly..

You have to be able to both knock out the enemy that is within the mind of your wife and children but you must also at the same time provide a new place of Spiritual refuge and security for your wife and kids.. If people cannot see an alternative they will resist moving from the place they are standing on even when the faults of their current stance has been revealed to them.
 

KhedetOrthos

Active member
Dec 13, 2019
284
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#37
****Pretty long Post****
Good Morning everyone, I just want to say I am happy having found this place. Hopefully, your words of encouragement will help. So I recently left the denomination that my wife and I were married under. I don't believe in their version of Truth so to speak but she is very much still involved. She is trying to be supportive but I just want her to leave and try to find Truth with me elsewhere. The problem is, she doesn't want to really understand why I gave up the faith and wants to co-exist with this division.
Out of curiosity what is it that you saw/read/whatever that brought you to the place where you felt it necessary to leave? I agree with your decision but perhaps if you share that with her, she will have a similar reaction.

She also wants to raise our 2 small children in that denomination and I am HIGHLY against it. I don't know how to handle this and it makes me so angry because I feel unheard and devalued as she won't seek to understand me. I don't want to offend anyone particularly but I feel it is damaging to our future and marriage and don't know how to find an equilibrium for our family at this point. She wants to attend separate churches and that just saddens me when I see other families at church and know she isn't by my side. It's lonely and frustrating. Anyone experience any interfaith situation. I want to stress that we are Christians but her version is not aligned with what I think it should be as I am still trying to figure that out for myself as well.
As far as attending separate churches, it may take that for a while. But if that is her solution, then it’s only fair that the kids go with her half the time and with you half the time. If she is Mormon, she is not a Christian. She follows a created Jesus in a works based spiritual quest to become God in essence herself.

You will have to live the true faith to make it attractive to her.
 
Feb 1, 2020
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#38
You are correct to leave that ungodly pagan religion behind. You are the man, you must lead your wife and your children towards the God of Truth. Do not compromise nor negotiate with her. You take your children to a good Christian church and if she wishes to follow let her follow. If she does not follow then that is her own fault. Whatever you do, do not try to negotiate with her, nor try to make any sort of deal with her, for there can be no deals with the devils. You must be strong for the Lord your God.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
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#39
Well you should have thought about what you believed in before marring her.
People change. This person changed his views after his marriage (or so it would appear).
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
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#40
If I'm being 100% forward, I'm certain she is in a cult and I found out about how much of a cult it is and don't want to raise my children in one
Well why did you beat around the bush at the start? A cult is spiritually dangerous, so you do what you have to do. Cults are not denominations, although some denominations are in fact cultists.