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I think you have the right attitude with marriage. I admire your dedication and understanding of the sanctity of marriage. Having said that, I disagree with the bold. You kind of disprove your own point when you say no one would stay married. Assuming pornography is adultery, you stated you were more offended at him for asking if you were going to leave him. So while many believe you have grounds for a biblical divorce, you aren't automatically choosing divorce. I think the same is true for most other marriages. Ask any marital council (Dr. Phil states this all the time as well), the majority of marriages where one [physically] cheated on the other, often stay together and work it out; they don't simply just file for divorce because of it. It's important to remember that while adultery gives us justification for divorce, it may not necessarily be Heavenly Father's plan A for us.
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When does porn become adultery or fornication? When does placing other things above our worship of God become idolatry?
Perhaps a sliding scale? The closer you are to your spouse or the closer you are to the Lord the easier it is to draw the line.
The symptoms are not the cause. It's all about the heart.
For the cause of Christ
Roger
Perhaps a sliding scale? The closer you are to your spouse or the closer you are to the Lord the easier it is to draw the line.
The symptoms are not the cause. It's all about the heart.
For the cause of Christ
Roger
If I caught my girlfriend looking at it, I wouldn't consider it cheating. Wrong and a problem? Absolutely. I just can't bring myself to say that someone can cheat with a computer screen and people she's never going to know or talk to though. It may be an issue of the heart, but it's not actually cheating to me. I would talk to them, but I wouldn't break up with or divorce someone I loved over that. That's just me.
So if a married man was in a room with a mute prostitute, they engaged in solo activities (never touching, and obviously never talking), you wouldn't be able to bring yourself to say that's cheating? 
The computer screen is irrelevant, talking to the person is irrelevant. Marriage, unlike boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, are a 3-way covenant between the husband, wife, and Heavenly Father. If the sexual desire for someone brings about an action with anything/anyone other than than spouse, it's quite simply cheating.
You are correct though, in my opinion, if someone had biblical justification for divorce for adultery, I'd like to think we would exhaust all resolutions before giving in to divorce.
The computer screen is irrelevant, talking to the person is irrelevant. Marriage, unlike boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, are a 3-way covenant between the husband, wife, and Heavenly Father. If the sexual desire for someone brings about an action with anything/anyone other than than spouse, it's quite simply cheating.
You are correct though, in my opinion, if someone had biblical justification for divorce for adultery, I'd like to think we would exhaust all resolutions before giving in to divorce.
So if a married man was in a room with a mute prostitute, they engaged in solo activities (never touching, and obviously never talking), you wouldn't be able to bring yourself to say that's cheating?
The computer screen is irrelevant, talking to the person is irrelevant. Marriage, unlike boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, are a 3-way covenant between the husband, wife, and Heavenly Father. If the sexual desire for someone brings about an action with anything/anyone other than than spouse, it's quite simply cheating.
You are correct though, in my opinion, if someone had biblical justification for divorce for adultery, I'd like to think we would exhaust all resolutions before giving in to divorce.
The computer screen is irrelevant, talking to the person is irrelevant. Marriage, unlike boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, are a 3-way covenant between the husband, wife, and Heavenly Father. If the sexual desire for someone brings about an action with anything/anyone other than than spouse, it's quite simply cheating.
You are correct though, in my opinion, if someone had biblical justification for divorce for adultery, I'd like to think we would exhaust all resolutions before giving in to divorce.
Personally, my reactions and feelings would be very different when comparing a video on the internet to actually physically cheating. For me, they are not the same. I just wouldn't take a video as cheating. I also wouldn't tolerate it and something would have to change of course.
But yes, I think in any case, particularly if it were between people that were married, that they should try to work through that if possible.
I'm not married, but if I were, and my man looked at porn I would tell him he needs to stop doing it and repent. I would ask him to get rid of any and all sources of porn, whether it's mags, pictures, etc.. I would try to get counseling for him, if he would agree to go. BUT I would also let him know, it's either the porn, or me and our marriage. It won't be BOTH. If he refuses to stop viewing porn, refuses counseling, and refuses to repent, then as hard as it would be, I'd leave. Porn is an addiction, and I won't/ can't compete with an addiction. I may love my hubby, and my marriage, but in the long run, God doesn't want me unequally yoked with an unrepentant sinner.
It's definitely not the same thing as watching it on a computer, I agree. That isn't the point though. You had said watching it to someone that you'll never talk to makes it difficult to call cheating. I just simulated another scenario where those same variables applied.
Would you say the independent variable qualifying it as cheating is the woman being able to look back at the man? If so, I could buy that. But then what if there was a barrier to prevent the woman from seeing the man, but the man could see the women? Is it a legitimate loophole, or is it cheating?
Would you say the independent variable qualifying it as cheating is the woman being able to look back at the man? If so, I could buy that. But then what if there was a barrier to prevent the woman from seeing the man, but the man could see the women? Is it a legitimate loophole, or is it cheating?
D
Noooooo don't do it!
Don't do it!
Love your wives or girlfriends!
Remember
When you get old and sick.....
It shall be your wife or girlfriend to bathe you and help you to the bathroom....
It won't be 'Debbie Does Dallas'
Remember that
Don't do it!
Love your wives or girlfriends!
Remember
When you get old and sick.....
It shall be your wife or girlfriend to bathe you and help you to the bathroom....
It won't be 'Debbie Does Dallas'
Remember that
And....whicha girlfriend doing bathing you?
D
Here's a shocker. (I have yet to figure out why this shocks anyone, but, then again, I don't get why so many get bent out of shape in the other direction either.) Hubby did look at porn. He didn't hide it. It didn't bother me. It didn't bother me, because he always saw what "she" had didn't measure up to me. And, in the end, it was always me.
Kind of like looking in a pastry window, deciding which looks the best, then going home and getting better after your mouth is watering. Termini's Bakery makes excellent pastries, but he likes mine better.
Kind of like looking in a pastry window, deciding which looks the best, then going home and getting better after your mouth is watering. Termini's Bakery makes excellent pastries, but he likes mine better.
If all the women in porn don't measure up to you, why didn't he just look at you then?
If given a steaming pile of feces or a Bob Ross painting to look at, wouldn't I ignore the feces and appreciate the beauty of the painting? To argue, "I just look at feces because it doesn't compare to the Bob Ross painting is a load of crap (pun intended). lol
If given a steaming pile of feces or a Bob Ross painting to look at, wouldn't I ignore the feces and appreciate the beauty of the painting? To argue, "I just look at feces because it doesn't compare to the Bob Ross painting is a load of crap (pun intended). lol
D
When you want a car, do you not look at cars that don't measure up to your standards or cars in price ranges you can't afford? Is that adultery?
I truly appreciate the male anatomy, if finely sculpted. (I like looking at the front line of a professional football team from the QB's perspective.) I love looking. I know which backend belongs to me. I don't know if that makes his the chicken or the egg. (Is his the yardstick? No idea, but he is mine.)
We have a "look, but don't touch" policy, and are free to tell when we look.
I do know, just because you disagree doesn't make you right, wrong, or the judge. The judge, in our marriage is clearly defined -- the spouse, under God's guidance.
Besides, even though his talking drives me to distraction, I think Bob Ross paintings are good. Wish I could do that.
I truly appreciate the male anatomy, if finely sculpted. (I like looking at the front line of a professional football team from the QB's perspective.) I love looking. I know which backend belongs to me. I don't know if that makes his the chicken or the egg. (Is his the yardstick? No idea, but he is mine.)
We have a "look, but don't touch" policy, and are free to tell when we look.
I do know, just because you disagree doesn't make you right, wrong, or the judge. The judge, in our marriage is clearly defined -- the spouse, under God's guidance.
Besides, even though his talking drives me to distraction, I think Bob Ross paintings are good. Wish I could do that.
S
Physically no but as Jesus says yes. Marriage is a physical and spiritual union. The two become one. This marriage is spiritually harmed. It is complicated. If he is not addicted and it was a one time thing, probably not, he needs to find out the why of why he did it. It may be he has an issue or it may be they have an issue.
S
She should not jump to divorce though. For at some point in their relationship she has probably been out with the girls and looked at some guys butt or chest and said ya I'd like to get my hands on that, and all the girls giggle. Impure thoughts are impure thoughts. Sin is sin. Here's the thing, repent and move forward in Christ together. Remember Jesus said before you go to him to ask anything that you need to forgive the one who has sinned against you or he won't be paying you any attention. The fact that she wants to leave so quickly shows a broken relationship prior to this incident. That's what I think anyways. Pray for healing.
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I struggle with this as well as I've posted about this recently. 90% of all men (and a large percentage of women) watch porn. It just comes down to something thats been around since the beginning of time...masturbation. I guarentee even if her husband didn't watch porn he would still masturbate. Think of it this way. Before the internet they had dvds, vhs tapes, before that magazines, pictures, and before that you just had to imagine stuff. I don't consider it cheating because it's natural to want to see fake breasts and all that stuff. I do think people can become addicted to porn, but than again you can become addicted to video games, chocolate, sports, and anything else that raises natural endorphines in the brain. Either way, porn generates more $$$ than just about anything else on the internet so it's not going away anytime soon. Maybe they can watch it together or go to couples counceling?
C
If a married or unmarried man is viewing porn it is Extremely dangerous to him and his family he is opening the door for all kinds of oppression and the price he and his family will have to pay for that counterfeit pleasure will be very, very, hefty! This is a scheme Satan uses very well to lure people into chains and bondage that only Jesus can deliver them from! I know all about this it costed me a wonderful wife and family I would give anything to have my family back Satan will take you into the darkness pits with porn which is as evil as it gets! It's not just a way to release stress its the opposite it will cause stress, depression and ultimately lead you and you family to or through Hell flee! From it as quickly as you can!!!
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MsKy..I will say this: It was very refreshing to read you comments. It shows a maturity and understanding that is so very rare these days. It takes things to a different level. It shows real CHRISTIAN values and at the same time, a solid reason for making an effort in keeping a marriage together. It shows commitment and a very deep relationship with God and your spouse. I applaud you!