i hope i dont upset anyone with this post but its something i really feel i need to get some feed bk on.
men... why does sexual sin happen, in that its in the news alot lately, on men raping under age girls, killing little girls or abducting them. catholics with the rape of young boys. i just dont understand how on earth men get it in there head that these things are ok. why SOME men feel its ok to over power everyone in frount of them to degrate and make the victim feel degrading and mentaly scared for the rest of there lives, while they walk around thinking its a normal thing.
is it because young men arnt told to respect other people now, or is it a fact of life.
is there anything in the bible to why?
what can we do about it?
God bless x
I think every problem in society has its roots in the way society treats others. Not necessarily just how men treat women, but how society says a person should treat everyone else.
In someone's life, there is, i'd say almost 100% of the time, something that made that person the way that they are. We've all heard the stories, boy (or girl) gets abused, and grows up to be an abuser. I don't really think that being taught respect has a lot to do with it. People's perceptions of the world are shaped by what has happened in their lives.
A lot of men aren't like these men you're talking about, and a lot of women aren't like that either.
But I can hazard a guess that at some point, these men (or women) felt powerless, or suppressed, bullied, empty, angry, abused, wrong, invalid, hated, or deserving, entitled, whatever it may be. It's not an excuse for an awful violent act, but it can be a reason; an answer to the 'why' that you pose.
To be honest, I've often felt disrespected myself, and although I'm no awful killer, I do feel marginalized, unknown, misunderstood and often downtrodden by the way the world works, particularly by the burden's laid on men in our society; it often feels as though every problem, be it marital, familial, or sexual, is men's fault. And I sometimes crave to be able to take back control of my life and not to be put in the box with everyone else's expectations and blame games.
I could easily say that men are marginalized, invalidated and made to feel often as helpless as women have felt throughout the years.
Personally, I'd like nothing more than the privilege of having a woman in my life who sees me beneath the surface rather than as a checklist of what I 'have'. Again, that's a result of my experiences and that's how I feel; not necessarily how it really is. The point is, I'm just illustrating that it's really all down to one's perception and one's life events; these things shape people into who they are. And often, the downtrodden become the bitter, the bitter become the cynical, and the cynical become the bullies.
Life can get the better of people and twist people, churn people and make people feel powerless, and they sometimes go to extreme measures to get 'one up' on the world.
I'm not excusing anything, by the way. I'm just trying to illustrate that things aren't always black and white, although there's no 'excuse' for these awful things, there are reasons beyond just respect.
If you keep an animal in a cage long enough, and prod it with a stick, even if it's the most placid animal you can find, eventually the animal turns angry at it's owner.
Take relationships, for example. We are often taught, as young men, about women's rights. And I'm all for women's rights. But we are often also drilled into us, that women are fragile creatures, deserving of all our time and effort. Yet women are taught of men's brutality, our oppression, anger. It often feels as though women are portrayed to be somehow morally and intellectually better and more refined than men.
We don't hear about the evil women of the world because they aren't portrayed the same, they are more unheard of, and more likely to be overlooked. But female abuse most certainly exists.
Now perhaps that's cynical, and perhaps my view of the world is flawed, but that's my feelings on the matter. That's how I've come to think, because many times I have been let down, hurt, and been left feeling inadequate. I've been cheated on and often left feeling powerless, even though I wasn't a 'bad' partner, I just wasn't what society expects the 'MR Perfect' ideal to be. And I can sympathize with a lot of women in this respect too.
The media pumps out images of perfect models with perfect airbrushed bodies and faces and often men (particularly young men), won't go for a woman who doesn't fit into this image somewhat; hence the massive make-up, clothing and cosmetic surgery industries.
But to be awfully frank, I prefer women who don't wear a lot of make-up. Women who don't particularly aspire to be what society wants them to be, and who don't particularly aspire to have the 'Mr Perfect' that society says they deserve.
We are not perfect. I am not perfect. You are not perfect. I think the whole world could benefit from some real self-reflection on this point. We live in an age of entitlement and harshness. Morality is a concept that comes second to 'getting what I want'.
I have had women leave me for the silliest reasons; for guys who have more muscles than I do, who look better, who make more money; reasons that I could never see myself leaving my partner for. And it does make me wonder a bit about double standards.
If a person wants to be equal and not to be treated shallowly and irreverently, really that person should also display the same willingness to treat others accordingly.
My point is, not that 'one party' or 'one group' is to blame for the world's woes; but that the world could really benefit from taking a stark, inward look at itself in these respects, particularly where sex and relationships are concerned.
Less and less men are willing to settle into marriage, into committed relationships and into healthy practices and open honesty with women, and one of the top reasons cited is because 'women are no longer women anymore'. Men do not trust women as they would have. Because they feel society has made it very much too easy for us to be taken advantage of. Most of these men who were asked in a study I recently read, said that there was no real benefit to marriage anymore, and far too much risk involved. Loyalty was listed as most of these men's number one trait that they look for in partners. That says something to me. It's no longer a given that people will work at marriage and be faithful to one another anymore.
I have heard many stories about cheating men, don't get me wrong, we are not innocent, and about abusive men and about abusive partner's, but it isn't a male only thing. It's just much easier to spot in men, because we are generally physically stronger, and seen to be more powerful and dominating than women are.
Relationships are no longer as important and meaningful as they once were and there's been a breakdown of communication. The world is now very much 'men vs women', something that I really don't like.
We can't just blame men for the way the world thinks about the opposite sex, or women. It's down to each individual character and whether they conform to society's views and join a side or whether they realize the real extent of 'human abuse' on all fronts.
I hardly think that my terrible experience and struggle in this type of sin would be something pleasant to hear about...i had been deeply ashamed of this for a very long time. I had even questioned my salvation because of this major failing in my life...but God has been so faithful, bringing me always to that night He came when i called, and changed my life forever. I knew that it could never be a lie...everything He has revealed to me. And by my strength and will, i could never have changed myself overnight. It is only His love, His power, and His fire that could move me and keep doing so. Now, He has shown me what it was for: His glory. I will praise Him and thank Him, and love Him forever for what He has done, is doing, and will continue to do in my life, and in all our lives! God is awesome!! Words just aren't enough to express just how wonderful He is...so it is only right to offer up our lives to Him out of love and worship.
