H
Stephen,
I have been married 29 years. Over one year ago I read an article on emotional abuse. It fit my life completely. My husband always twisted things that he did so that I felt I was the problem. I gave the article to my hub and he agreed. He stated, "I did this to you and to our kids." I was prepared for him to deny it. Over the next three months he worked on it. But for some reason, probably because it is easier to not go through the pain, I wanted to be done with him. Probably how your wife feels. My hub was determined to prove to me he had changed. He went to counseling, he read the books. I was very scared, prob. like your wife. My faith was tested so much. I continued to go to counseling. Each session was so hard. Learning why I was me. When I was young the things I went thru. After six months, I began to trust him more. He now wants to be with me all the time. Says daily how beautiful I am. Gets my coffee every morning and puts it by the bed before he goes to work. Your wife needs total love right now. She needs you to give, give, give. And she will more than likely not be able to return it for quite awhile. I highly recommend for both of you the book, You don't have to take it anymore. Author is Stephen Stosny. This book helped me so much. Some of the other books are hard to read and made me feel as if things were so dismal. This book was positive and very helpful. We both read it. There were times in the beginning of this process that I needed to be apart from him, two weeks at a time. I was raw emotionally and needed to rest. Not that he was doing anything wrong. But I didn't know when it might happen. Kind of like driving on ice. You are on edge the whole time. I hope this helps you to see the female perspective. God has given me the husband I have always dreamed of having. He is now a kind, considerate, loving and devoted husband. I am able to give love back to him now. I can also do thoughtful things again. I have always been a compassionate, thoughtful, loving wife, in the past. During that time I was unable to give to anyone. The journey is tough and long, for both of you. But the challenges were so worth saving our marriage. I pray for you and your wife that you will climb the mountain. Choose the hard road. God is always with us, but I never felt so far from Him during this time. Now I see reasons why God had this trial for me. God bless you both.
I have been married 29 years. Over one year ago I read an article on emotional abuse. It fit my life completely. My husband always twisted things that he did so that I felt I was the problem. I gave the article to my hub and he agreed. He stated, "I did this to you and to our kids." I was prepared for him to deny it. Over the next three months he worked on it. But for some reason, probably because it is easier to not go through the pain, I wanted to be done with him. Probably how your wife feels. My hub was determined to prove to me he had changed. He went to counseling, he read the books. I was very scared, prob. like your wife. My faith was tested so much. I continued to go to counseling. Each session was so hard. Learning why I was me. When I was young the things I went thru. After six months, I began to trust him more. He now wants to be with me all the time. Says daily how beautiful I am. Gets my coffee every morning and puts it by the bed before he goes to work. Your wife needs total love right now. She needs you to give, give, give. And she will more than likely not be able to return it for quite awhile. I highly recommend for both of you the book, You don't have to take it anymore. Author is Stephen Stosny. This book helped me so much. Some of the other books are hard to read and made me feel as if things were so dismal. This book was positive and very helpful. We both read it. There were times in the beginning of this process that I needed to be apart from him, two weeks at a time. I was raw emotionally and needed to rest. Not that he was doing anything wrong. But I didn't know when it might happen. Kind of like driving on ice. You are on edge the whole time. I hope this helps you to see the female perspective. God has given me the husband I have always dreamed of having. He is now a kind, considerate, loving and devoted husband. I am able to give love back to him now. I can also do thoughtful things again. I have always been a compassionate, thoughtful, loving wife, in the past. During that time I was unable to give to anyone. The journey is tough and long, for both of you. But the challenges were so worth saving our marriage. I pray for you and your wife that you will climb the mountain. Choose the hard road. God is always with us, but I never felt so far from Him during this time. Now I see reasons why God had this trial for me. God bless you both.
