Newlywed Divorce

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Lennamorning

Guest
#1
I don't even know where to start. I just got married a week ago and already my husband wants a divorce. I never thought this would happen to me but here I stand heartbroken and confused. I also just discovered that we are pregnant with our first child. How could he stress me and abandon us in this most vulnerable time? I was very clear before we got married that I don't believe in divorce and I begged him to reconsider. We don't really know each other. We met online and I went to see him twice. The second visit is when we were married. We have known each other for less than a month and now he wants out. He is surrounded by other men that are currently going through messy divorces and says that they are looking out for him. I don't know what to do as I don't want to lose my new husband and I don't want my baby to grow up without both parents. I don't believe that God would let this happen but I also don't like the way he has spoken to me and emotionally abused me. We've only been married for a week tomorrow and I don't know what to do. I pray so hard for God to restore this marriage. I don't know what else to do.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,498
1,120
113
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#2
You are in a horrible bind. You did not say how old you are and whether or not you have your parents or friends in your support network. It is highly unlikely that this marriage is going to work. Make it clear to him that there will be child support involved. Try to stay as close to God as possible. I will offer a prayer for you. Welcome to CC.
 
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Chuckt

Guest
#3
Have you talked to your parents or called your local church for help?
Have you talked to his parents?
 
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Church2u2

Guest
#4
Welcome to c.c.I'm sorry to hear that you're in a situation like this and will keep you in my prayers Lennamorning.
 
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Lennamorning

Guest
#5
I can't talk to my parents because I don't have a close relationship with them. I am in my 30s so it's not like they have a true say anyhow. I don't have his parents information and his parental situation is not a stable one either. As far as divorce goes, I don't believe in it and I did not come here for anyone to tell me to get one. I'm here because this is supposed to be a Christian support chat. Since when did Christians advocate divorce and such? Anyhow, I will continue to seek guidance from God and whatever happens must be His will. Thanks for your response and my hope is in the Lord.
 
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Lennamorning

Guest
#6
Welcome to c.c.I'm sorry to hear that you're in a situation like this and will keep you in my prayers Lennamorning.
Thank you so much!
 

Depleted

Senior Member
Dec 13, 2015
22,166
480
83
Philly, PA, USA
#7
I don't even know where to start. I just got married a week ago and already my husband wants a divorce. I never thought this would happen to me but here I stand heartbroken and confused. I also just discovered that we are pregnant with our first child. How could he stress me and abandon us in this most vulnerable time? I was very clear before we got married that I don't believe in divorce and I begged him to reconsider. We don't really know each other. We met online and I went to see him twice. The second visit is when we were married. We have known each other for less than a month and now he wants out. He is surrounded by other men that are currently going through messy divorces and says that they are looking out for him. I don't know what to do as I don't want to lose my new husband and I don't want my baby to grow up without both parents. I don't believe that God would let this happen but I also don't like the way he has spoken to me and emotionally abused me. We've only been married for a week tomorrow and I don't know what to do. I pray so hard for God to restore this marriage. I don't know what else to do.
I'm old, so I'm not up on the latest technology in pregnancy tests. But how is it you've only met once before the wedding day, have been married for six days, and you already know you're pregnant? Are you that regular with your periods that you can't conceive you're just late for a few days? I was late three weeks before even thinking I should get a pregnancy test, and lo and behold -- after the test, my period came, so I was just that late that time.
 
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Chuckt

Guest
#8
One of the questions they asked me when I applied to get a marriage license was "How long have you known each other?" The people who hand out the forms have limits.
 
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Lennamorning

Guest
#9
I'm old, so I'm not up on the latest technology in pregnancy tests. But how is it you've only met once before the wedding day, have been married for six days, and you already know you're pregnant? Are you that regular with your periods that you can't conceive you're just late for a few days? I was late three weeks before even thinking I should get a pregnancy test, and lo and behold -- after the test, my period came, so I was just that late that time.
I have taken numerous pregnancy test and all have come back positive (different brands btw). We got pregnant the first time we were ever intimate which was 2 weeks before we gother married. So I'm not guessing here. I'm actually pregnant. I have a scheduled doctors appointment to get my prenatal care started. Again, we have known each other for three weeks and I missed my period and tested positive on day 12 of missed period. I was celibate before that so unless Jesus is coming back through me, he is the father. I didn't think I could even get pregnant only 4 days before my period should have started but here I am with child, lol..
 
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Lennamorning

Guest
#10
One of the questions they asked me when I applied to get a marriage license was "How long have you known each other?" The people who hand out the forms have limits.
They asked us nothing. They just wanted the money.
 
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Lennamorning

Guest
#11
Chuck I wish they had asked or even denied us now. Had I known then what I know now, I would not have married someone who is capable of what he is doing. I'm just going to continue to pray and hope to recieve guidance and wisdom.
 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
1,800
92
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#12
Sounds like you both rushed into marriage too quick, and now he's having second thoughts. Probably not a wise decision to get married when as you say; "We don't really know each other". Does he have a reason for wanting a divorce? It doesn't sound so much like he's abandoning you as much as he was never committed to the marriage in the first place? Probably something he wanted to try, didn't like it, and now wants to move on. You may have made it clear that you don't believe in divorce, but he obviously didn't reciprocate. Not much you can do now except try to communicate, but if he's intent on leaving after just 1 week, I seriously doubt he can commit to anything for very long. It would also have been wise not to have gotten pregnant until you got to know him. I guess the lesson is; "Get to know someone before you marry them".
 
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Lennamorning

Guest
#13
Sounds like you both rushed into marriage too quick, and now he's having second thoughts. Probably not a wise decision to get married when as you say; "We don't really know each other". Does he have a reason for wanting a divorce? It doesn't sound so much like he's abandoning you as much as he was never committed to the marriage in the first place? Probably something he wanted to try, didn't like it, and now wants to move on. You may have made it clear that you don't believe in divorce, but he obviously didn't reciprocate. Not much you can do now except try to communicate, but if he's intent on leaving after just 1 week, I seriously doubt he can commit to anything for very long. It would also have been wise not to have gotten pregnant until you got to know him. I guess the lesson is; "Get to know someone before you marry them".
Good point. It's not like I intentionally got pregnant nor was I even in my fertile window according to my period tracker app. Lesson learned! And he and I did talk extensively and he agreed that he did not believe in divorce either (clearly a lie). That was the only reason I ok jumping in feet first. Next time I guess I will use God and logic, lol... this situation is not an ideal one but I believed in the wrong person. A military man is supposed to have integrity (I know I was in the military too). Anyway, I came here for support and prayer and am happy that some on here are going to pray for and with me. Thanks everyone!
 

Txroads

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2016
853
22
0
#14
Lenna, welcome. Sorry that you had to experience this place through a situation. But, your looking in the right direction, when there are no answers or reason, God has all the answers and the reason. What matters now is you and the baby. Its your first so let's make sure the both of you are OK. God is gonna be with you no matter what, so will we. You do what you think is the right thing to do, put God in the middle... Let Him work out the fine print... Congratulations momma....
 
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Lennamorning

Guest
#15
Lenna, welcome. Sorry that you had to experience this place through a situation. But, your looking in the right direction, when there are no answers or reason, God has all the answers and the reason. What matters now is you and the baby. Its your first so let's make sure the both of you are OK. God is gonna be with you no matter what, so will we. You do what you think is the right thing to do, put God in the middle... Let Him work out the fine print... Congratulations momma....
You are very sweet and I am so happy for someone like you to respond without passing judgement. This is a rough situation in which I know i will get through with God's help. It's unfortunate but life deals lessons that are hard to deal with at times. Thank God we have Him as our Lord and Savior necause without Jesus and His sacrifice I would have no hope and death would surely follow. God bless you my Texan friend (Texas is my second home).
 
Mar 2, 2016
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#16
Sounds like he got cold feet. I would suggest taking measures to protect yourself. Make it real for him. I really hate to sound course but you are carrying this mans child and he walks away? I would just look out for you and your child from here on out. You obviously can't control what he does nor should you try. Be sly as a fox and gentle as a dove.
 
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Chuckt

Guest
#17
Chuck I wish they had asked or even denied us now. Had I known then what I know now, I would not have married someone who is capable of what he is doing. I'm just going to continue to pray and hope to recieve guidance and wisdom.
I'm going to say some uncomfortable questions to you but you need to make decisions now.

Is it better for him to divorce you? Do you really want to stay with someone who doesn't love you enough to not divorce you? I think you need the wisdom from some godly pastors to come alongside and help you. I don't know what the laws are in your state are but shouldn't the court make him get marriage counselling before he can divorce you?

I think you should sue for support because you have a marriage license and he should pay for the child.

I think that having a year together with someone you want to marry is probably not enough time for everybody.

Some lawyers may give you a free consultation to know where you stand. Be careful as lawyers like to take people's money and lawyers also cause people problems.
 

hoss2576

Senior Member
May 10, 2014
551
21
0
#18
Anyhow, I will continue to seek guidance from God and whatever happens must be His will. Thanks for your response and my hope is in the Lord.
Really? Not to sound cold, but plenty happens that is not His will. Do you think this situation was His will?
 
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Lennamorning

Guest
#19
Really? Not to sound cold, but plenty happens that is not His will. Do you think this situation was His will?
Man does not determine God's will. Just because you see what you see does not make it any less His will for my life. This shall work out with the intended life lesson that He wants me to learn. As for man's opinion I could care less. But your feedback has been noted!
 
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coby2

Guest
#20
Well at least you got something great of this whole situation. Congratulations!
There's a woman who got raped by a prisoner who escaped. A preacher lost his own kid that died and she gave them hers to take care of. God's will?
If I were her I wouldn't say it's not God's will that I exist.