Open marriage

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mooncable

Junior Member
Feb 12, 2017
3
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#1
I need help I'm so confused. My husband and I love each other so much and he is not a Christian (which he told me he was) but I have learned to accept it cause of how strong our love is. We recently have talked about an open marriage and i finally gave in and said fine for a month only cause I couldn't find anything online about it being against god. But i have been having second thoughts and I need to know if this is against what God would want..... every time I tell him I'm not sure about it he some how convince me it's ok and he will never love anyone more than me...
 

JustWhoIAm

Senior Member
Jan 6, 2016
1,015
18
0
#2
I need help I'm so confused. My husband and I love each other so much and he is not a Christian (which he told me he was) but I have learned to accept it cause of how strong our love is. We recently have talked about an open marriage and i finally gave in and said fine for a month only cause I couldn't find anything online about it being against god. But i have been having second thoughts and I need to know if this is against what God would want..... every time I tell him I'm not sure about it he some how convince me it's ok and he will never love anyone more than me...
You married him. If you love him, give him the benefit of the doubt unless you have serious reason not to.

Pray. Stay in the word. Love him ^^
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
2,966
242
63
#3
Open marriage is Adultery... So please pray and acknowledge your sin to God and thank Him for the atonement He secured for your forgiveness..

When a Man and a Woman are married they must only have sexual relations with each other.. So open marriage goes against Gods will..

I am so.. sad to read your post and to see you in this situation.. :(

Please bring this open marriage situation to an end as soon as possible.. I hope your husband does not give you grief over this..

How true is the scriptures that make it clear to us not to be yoked with unbelievers.. You where lied to i know.. :(
 

JustWhoIAm

Senior Member
Jan 6, 2016
1,015
18
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#4
You married him. If you love him, give him the benefit of the doubt unless you have serious reason not to.

Pray. Stay in the word. Love him ^^
If you are uncomfortable with adultery in the relationship you have grounds to divorce him.

If he has not cheated on you then IMHO you might want to just look at the relationship.

Has he?
 

mariner845

Junior Member
Feb 11, 2017
26
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#5
Mathew 19:4 [FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot] “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a][/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]?[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”


Exdus 20:14 "you shall not commit adultery"

Hebrews 13:4 "[/FONT]
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."

Adultery is anyone who
[FONT=helvetica, arial]voluntarily has intercourse where one person is in a marriage and the other is not their spouse/partner. Open marriages are clearly against biblical teachings, if he sleeps with someone else it is adultery which was also the only reason allowed for divorce in the law of Moses. [/FONT]
 

mooncable

Junior Member
Feb 12, 2017
3
0
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#6
Thank you both of you and no neither one of us have done anything yet.
 

JustWhoIAm

Senior Member
Jan 6, 2016
1,015
18
0
#7
This is where love gets a lot of people tripped up.
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
2,966
242
63
#8
Thank you both of you and no neither one of us have done anything yet.
Good..

Move quickly..
Stop this open marriage thing right now..

May you be blessed exceedingly..
 

JustWhoIAm

Senior Member
Jan 6, 2016
1,015
18
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#9
In our lives we have choices to make along the way. Heaven or hell? Always a decision.

You say he's not a believer. This is your chance to let God work in the relationship, but that might not be easy.
 

mooncable

Junior Member
Feb 12, 2017
3
0
0
#10
In our lives we have choices to make along the way. Heaven or hell? Always a decision.

You say he's not a believer. This is your chance to let God work in the relationship, but that might not be easy.
Your right it's not easy all I can do is try and keep my faith.
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,679
638
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#11
If cheating on your spouse and having sex with people who aren't your husband, and giving him permission to do the same, doesn't sound ungodly then it's time for you to stick your nose in your bible and start praying because even most non-Christians know that's against the bible.

Truth is your husband is a douche bag that is looking for your permission to cheat because he's bored with you. And probably not just sexually either. There's a solid possibility he's into porn and that's where he got the Idea. Eventually one or both of you will get involved with someone else in a deeper sense.

Really this is nothing more than sleeping around. Except worse because you're also cheating on your spouse. Marriages like this have a higher divorce rate than other marriages. Cheating (beyond the physical) and jealousy are inevitable.
Not to mention that if your husband starts sleeping around, he'll be sleeping with others that sleep around. How long before and STD finds its way into one, or both, of you?

It saddens me that someone calling them self a Christian can't figure out if cheating and sleeping around while married are sins. Lust is a sin, and you never even touch the person.
So if you want to destroy your marriage, live suspicious and jealous until your marriage falls apart, all the while plainly and obviously going against God's word, then go for it. But when your life falls apart just keep in mind this is what you agreed to and you'll have to take responsibility for your choice to allow this. And all the consequences that Will follow.
 
A

Amazing-Grace

Guest
#12
You know what? I'd get rid of HIM and FAST!
 
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pckts

Guest
#13
It is clear that it was his and only his idea and that every time you voice discontent about it he manipulates your emotion in a some twisted way to continue to allow it.I know you love him and he may very well love you in his way, but he does not respect you and maybe he even enjoys the suffering it puts you through.

He has severe issues with lust, relationships, commitment and respect, and because he is an unbeliever it has opened him up to this new-age satanic solution. This does not allow him to "get anything out of his system", this lets more evil into his system because he is succumbing to his demons, and then he brings those demons home to your relationship and bedroom. You allow it you are also severely misguided and confused.

You cannot change your husband, but you can change yourself. Why did your husband feel he could approach you with this "solution" in the first place and get away with doing it? Why does he ignore your wishes to stop and decide he will just spin your head further and keep going? Why is the love you give to him unaffected by this arrangement in a way that would shatter other people's relationships? If you figure out the flaws in yourself it will become clear what you should do about your husband's.
 
Aug 16, 2016
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#14
Love that's truly strong in a marriage doesn't seek outside relations. I could never do that to a woman i'm married to because that's disrespectful in my eyes. My love is for her & no one else
 
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Amazing-Grace

Guest
#15
Let's be honest about this...your husband lied to you even before you married him - he told you he was a Christian, for a Christian lady that is a massive lie! Now he wants to cheat and justify it by calling it "an open marriage" and allowing you to do the same though it isn't your wish. As someone else said; where did he get the idea from, he is either mixing with dodgy people or he finds such material online. Again the latter is cheating, he is committing adultery in his heart Matt 5:27-28. Your own misgivings are due to The Holy Spirit within you giving you this feeling of discomfort because it goes against God's word. God hates divorce but it the case of adultery he allows it.

Think long and hard about this before for agree to anything and also think long and hard about whether you want to spend the rest of your life with a man who clearly thinks you are not enough for him.
 
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pckts

Guest
#16
Let's be honest about this...your husband lied to you even before you married him - he told you he was a Christian, for a Christian lady that is a massive lie!
In the Husband's defense or in her offense, to simply ask "Are you a Christian", "Yes", "Oh Ok", is not a proper way to identify someone as a Christian and gauge their faith. If She further questioned him or attempted to casually discuss the bible with him I'm sure it would become self-evident he was not a christian. I see this excuse very often from women and it is not an excuse at all, you are just letting everyone know how little you factored God into your relationship.
 
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Amazing-Grace

Guest
#17
In the Husband's defense or in her offense, to simply ask "Are you a Christian", "Yes", "Oh Ok", is not a proper way to identify someone as a Christian and gauge their faith. If She further questioned him or attempted to casually discuss the bible with him I'm sure it would become self-evident he was not a christian. I see this excuse very often from women and it is not an excuse at all, you are just letting everyone know how little you factored God into your relationship.
Yes you make a very good point. It is up to the Christian in the relationship to ensure your potential partner believes, knows and follows God - well before you reach the the husband/wife stage.
 

JesusLives

Senior Member
Oct 11, 2013
12,881
656
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#18
Open marriage is just plain hurtful to any and everyone that participates in it. Lowers your self worth, makes you feel dirty and useless. Makes you feel unloved (by your spouse). Takes you farther away from God... note you are the one leaving Him as He is always in pursuit of you to save you. But closeness you have with your husband and God disappears.

What is the point of getting married?....... Well it's wrong just all wrong.

I think I'd spend my time trying to figures out how to get the spark back in your own marriage and ask your husband to participate in that. Pretend that you are just meeting for the first time...buy a wig different hair color go to a restaurant act like you don't know each other learn to have fun again with each other.

PRAY, pray, pray about your situation and love him. Leave little love notes for him to find.

Tell your husband you have changed your mind and don't agree with an open marriage that he is the only one for you and you would like to keep it that way and don't worry women are known to change their minds it's part of what keeps the guys guessing about us.

Prayers that you will make the changes needed to get and stay closer to God and help your husband stay closer to you.
 
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
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#19
To me, it's just whores and whore dogs who see "love" as 'getting some strange.' That may seem a little crude, but it's pretty accurate.
 
Oct 12, 2015
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#20
an open marriage mean you have sex with other people. Maybe you didnt know what an open marraige is.?

So it is totally evil in Jesus amen