Open marriage

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PeterJens

PeterJens

Banned
#61
Feb 24, 2015
13,204
168
0
#61
People get confused with scripture. Sexual immorality is sex outside marriage, and it
sends every partaker to hell. Sex is for one thing, children within a loving relationship.

We all come from this, a man and a woman joined as one.

God is Our father, dishonor this and you dishonor him.

God gives us the privilege of bringing new people into the world, yet people are happy
to trample this into the ground. Know your King and who you serve.
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#62
May 29, 2013
9,161
1,789
113
#62
PeterJens said:
Sex is for one thing, children within a loving relationship.
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I wouldn't agree with that. It provides a means of physically unifying a married couple. Proverbs says to rejoice with the wife of your youth and let her breasts always satisfy you, to drink water from your own well. Unity, physical release and satisfaction, and expressions of 'benevolence' and physical love through the sex are allow allowed within marriage. 'Two shall be one flesh' also relates to the mystery of Christ and the church, so there may be some spiritual lessons in it as well for married couples.

But it can make children, which is another wonderful aspect of it. And it shouldn't be done without realizing this other extremely important purpose of sex. But of course, older, no-longer-fertile married couples can have sex as well without sinning.
 
Marymoobulldoze

Marymoobulldoze

Banned
#63
May 5, 2017
39
3
0
#63
Honey, I'd say run from this man. He does not love you. If he did ,he would only want you. He has a problem with adultery. And he's putting lies in your head, to get his way. This is called,mind games. And you even gave yourself ,an answer, without realizing it. Why is he using God in this circumstance, if he is not a Christian?? Get it love..? This is not a man of God. He cannot spiritually lead you, because he does not want to. Because he's selfish. It's all about him and not you. I can also tell , he has done mental abuse to you as well. I'm sorry you are in this situation, noone should have to go through this. I would think it best wise to divorce. He is keeping you from growing in God, and is having you also sin, against God. If you left hand causes you to sin, cut it off. For it is better for you to enter the kingdom with one hand than for your whole body to burn in hell. Matthew 5:30.
 
O

OldSoldier

Guest
#64
#64
Wow. You figured all that out from her post? I hope you are geetting paid for your abilities.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#65
#65
OldSoldier said:
Many on here are quick to judge, and quick to claim adultry. However, if you research you will find that in ancient times in Isreal adultry was simply stealing another mans property. Women ranked right up there with his cattle, house and land. A man could not commit adultry unless he had relations with another mans wife or with an engaged woman. A woman (married) committed adultry by having sex with anyone other than her husband. It's that simple. In other words, today, if a married man who is a Christian has sex with an unmarried or un-engaged woman, he has not committed adultry. How do we like that? Jesus mentioned sex 4 times, and always in the realm of adultry. He did not mention it in any other context that I can find. Since Paul admonished women to remain silent in chirch, and ask thier husbands questions at home, why are we not following that advice? It seems we Chtristians pick and choose out "sins" at times. All this being said, I once heard a Rabbi say that "if I loan you me wife, you have not committed adultry. If you steal my wife you have". I assume that in the old days you could loan your oxen to a man and he was not stealing or "coveting" your property. So, I am sort of on the fence regarding this matter, and asking God for more guidence regarding it. But going strictly by Old and New Testament writing, I do not find what you are struggling with addressed. Paul, who was sex neutural, and wished that all could be celibate like him, wrote much on the subject. But Jesus seemed to not have found it such an important matter.
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Jesus had a short time on earth and He had a mission to fulfill,He came for the lost. He did not reiterate everything that was said in the OT. People say Jesus didn't speak on homosexuality in the NT so its not wrong,yet it is wrong and its sin.

Im not sure about your theory that women could be loaned for sex,I dont see that happening anywhere in the Bible. Common sense would say otherwise. If I had a husband that came to me and said the neighbor wants to borrow you for the night and I told him Im good with it,after he got off the floor for the pan in the side of the head,my next move would be divorce papers. Any man who loved his wife would never wish to see her with another man. It brings up a million issues and how could a person make love to their husband,then with another man and back to the husband again with no guilt? No,that makes a woman no different than a prostitute. If you're going to treat your wife like a whore at least pay her. Unbelievable. smh
 
D

DerVille

Junior Member
#67
Jul 13, 2017
22
9
3
#67
I'm lost. You say you are a Christian and you are asking us about having an "open marriage" as in having sex with other people? You don't know that the exact opposite of having a Christian marriage? You are considering letting him have sex with other women? You are considering having sex with other men? Are you NUTS!!! Tell him HELL NO! He is your husband, you are his wife, you and he only have sex together and you stay faithful to each other only.

He lied and got you to marry him under false pretenses by telling you he was a believer only to say after the "I -do's" that he isn't. Scripture is unclear about this but you could probably get a biblical divorce.

If you want to stay however, by all means do not have sex outside of the two of you....ever.
 
C

Craigb513

Member
#68
Dec 15, 2016
104
26
18
#68
Do not cheat on your husband adultery is a sin and pray that he will realize this is wrong
 
O

oldethennew

Banned
#69
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,973
113
#69
I know Blue and Lynn,

but just have to state, something that you both already know, -

Jesus' Ways are not open to change!:)...
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#70
Jul 3, 2015
59,960
29,315
113
#70
OldSoldier said:
Many on here are quick to judge, and quick to claim adultry. However, if you research you will find that in ancient times in Isreal adultry was simply stealing another mans property. Women ranked right up there with his cattle, house and land. A man could not commit adultry unless he had relations with another mans wife or with an engaged woman. A woman (married) committed adultry by having sex with anyone other than her husband. It's that simple. In other words, today, if a married man who is a Christian has sex with an unmarried or un-engaged woman, he has not committed adultry. How do we like that? Jesus mentioned sex 4 times, and always in the realm of adultry. He did not mention it in any other context that I can find. Since Paul admonished women to remain silent in chirch, and ask thier husbands questions at home, why are we not following that advice? It seems we Chtristians pick and choose out "sins" at times. All this being said, I once heard a Rabbi say that "if I loan you me wife, you have not committed adultry. If you steal my wife you have". I assume that in the old days you could loan your oxen to a man and he was not stealing or "coveting" your property. So, I am sort of on the fence regarding this matter, and asking God for more guidence regarding it. But going strictly by Old and New Testament writing, I do not find what you are struggling with addressed. Paul, who was sex neutural, and wished that all could be celibate like him, wrote much on the subject. But Jesus seemed to not have found it such an important matter.
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Sex with an unmarried person or between unmarried people is called fornication, and there are many admonitions, cautions, and warnings against it.
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#71
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,773
113
#71
mooncable said:
I need help I'm so confused. My husband and I love each other so much and he is not a Christian (which he told me he was) but I have learned to accept it cause of how strong our love is. We recently have talked about an open marriage and i finally gave in and said fine for a month only cause I couldn't find anything online about it being against god. But i have been having second thoughts and I need to know if this is against what God would want..... every time I tell him I'm not sure about it he some how convince me it's ok and he will never love anyone more than me...
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Why should anyone be confused about such a simple matter? Marriage by definition is between just two people -- a man and a woman for life (not a man and a man, or a woman and a woman, or multiple partners indiscriminately).

So all you have to tell your husband is that if he truly loves you he will stop talking nonsense, and if he fails to remain faithful he will face divorce. Also ask him if he is already in an affair, and then deal with it accordingly. Tough love is what he needs right now.
 
Y

Yoseph

Member
#72
Apr 22, 2017
56
5
8
#72
You've lost your first love -Jesus
he is light and you couldn't tell your boyfriend is DARKNESS,full of it. Repent Dtop him fast and return to The Light till you become a child of light!!No man (or WOMAN) CAN SERVE TWO MASTERS !Choose one to heaven or one to Death.You have been so defiled is why that guy overpowers you.Deny self and find Gods choice for a spouse.Who will you seek to please ? You are in my prayers .Who will you serve?
 
P

princessmagical

Guest
#73
#73
You need to tell him that a open marriage is against God. Pray for him.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#74
#74
Depleted said:
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No, what you need to know is when someone was having a little fun one night, posted something absolutely silly on a new forum, and left. And then a mere SIX MONTHS later, people are still giving advice!

Dead! The horse is dead!
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#75
#75
First off welcome to CC.
Second off she was just a girlfriend with whom you had a serious disagreement, so break up. Ok that's fine, you can do that. It's better now than to divorce after you're married. That's what dating is for to discover if you are compatible. You're supposed to be looking at all the signs.
So why did you dig up this old thread?
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#76
Mar 13, 2014
42,577
17,046
113
69
Tennessee
#76
GabrielleTucker said:
Hi guys, I'm a Christian and recently broke up with my girlfriend due to my disagreement with her. I am a believer and it seems to me that sex can only be after the wedding, but she was against it and I think that she cheated on me because of this. When I broke up with her, I was very worried about this and did not know what to do. Well, I read a lot of information on the Internet and came across an interesting article on this site Breakup Forum . After reading the article, I felt very good and feel better.
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You may get more responses if you created your own introductory thread as this thread has been inactive for over 3 years. Glad to have you onboard with us. Welcome to CC.
 
CS1

CS1

Well-known member
#78
May 23, 2012
13,013
4,315
113
#78
mooncable said:
I need help I'm so confused. My husband and I love each other so much and he is not a Christian (which he told me he was) but I have learned to accept it cause of how strong our love is. We recently have talked about an open marriage and i finally gave in and said fine for a month only cause I couldn't find anything online about it being against god. But i have been having second thoughts and I need to know if this is against what God would want..... every time I tell him I'm not sure about it he some how convince me it's ok and he will never love anyone more than me...
Click to expand...

Ok I'm going out on a limb here but I thinking troll just going to put it out there. 1. open Marriage 2. Mooncable got to be a troll name. Can I get a second on this?
 
R

rosegold04

Member
#79
Dec 13, 2020
36
31
18
Texas
#79
"Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of sexual immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband." 1 Corinthians 7

"Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Corinthians 7:5

"But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain [single] even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1 Corinthians 7:8-9

These passages are eye- opening because they reveal how, in a way, God prefers we remain single so that we can entirely devote ourselves to Him, BUT if we're so hot and bothered that we can't help ourselves, we should marry so that we can at least exercise our passion in a Godly context. That's it, however. The Bible specifically forbids promiscuity, adultery, etc.

Even in the Old Testament when polygamy was allowed, it was still POLYGAMY (wives and concubines), not polyamory (multiple lovers). Men were forbidden to masturbate and to take responsibility for any children they sired, whether by their wife, their concubines, their slave women, etc. They never went around willy-nilly sleeping with whomever, and those who did suffered for it (e.g., Sodom and Gomorrah).
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

Well-known member
#80
Jan 16, 2021
6,191
2,509
113
#80
"Dear Miss Manners,
I'm a siamese twin and my single brother keeps putting his nose into my marriage..."

It's not like it's anything new...
 
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