Reality of waiting until Married

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Endoscopy

Endoscopy

Senior Member
#41
Oct 13, 2017
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#41
Protek said:
I just wanted to get some thoughts from people who have been through the dating scene and found a partner, or those who didn't and have a family of their own.

How realistic is it to wait for marriage before having sex? I'm not a virgin as I had sex a handful of times 17ish years ago but nothing since then. I haven't been in the dating scene due to personal issues but I have had a lot of time to think about what I want. Over the years since first meeting Jesus, I have realized that ideals and practice are not the same thing. This whole time I swore to myself that I would wait for marriage but I know better than to swear something to myself or god, make my yes a yes and my no a no.

What is confusing to me.... is that I know literally no one that has waited for marriage, even the people I know who are married now started having sex before they tied the knot. Sometimes a pregnancy pushed the two together, sometimes they waited to have kids. And some of my friends have multiple kids with multiple women none of which they are married to or live with. I only "know of" one virgin, she was actually my HS girlfriends best friend and I only know about it because one of my current best friends is the one that connected me with my first and only girlfriend.

My point is that there are many avenues for this subject and while I know the Christian view point...... I've never seen it put to practice. Even my Cousin who is one of the few Christians I am or have been close to, got pregnant which pushed her into a marriage. And she was always the responsible one who over a decade ago told me over the phone that she was worried that I would marry the first person I run across. And she pray's constantly so I really don't know what to think.

Not one Friend or Family member, not even a friend of a friend has waited for marriage, only a distant acquaintance has pulled this off.

So can I please get some real world insight? I don't want holy and biblical talk unless it is accompanied by real world view points. I haven't been on a date in 17 years so I want some relate-able advice. (and yes I pray about it, which has lead me to asking people here instead of being left with my thought's to god)

Thanks.
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The problem is found in the statics. Those living together vs those who wait are much higher getting a divorce. My guess is we humans want to do what we want but hold the line for others. Thus the attitude it's OK for me but not you. This causes a lack of trust when both have that feeling. That damages the relationship from the start. Thus the higher divorce rate.
 
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