Reality of waiting until Married

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presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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#21
God never said z need a pastor or judge to me married. In fact before the wedding ring two people.would simply move in together, become one flesh and for everyone they were.married. dont let ppl confuse u
That's not Biblical. In the Old Testament, a Canaanite prince had sex with Dinah, but that did not make them married. Even the wicked Canaanites had enough moral sense to know she wasn't married unless her father gave her in marriage. If a man took a girl's virginity in marriage under the law of Moses, the man had to marry her, but the father could refuse to give her to him in marriage if he chose. Jesus even mentioned giving in marriage.

Paul warned that a Christian should not become one in body with a prostitute. That did not mean that one who did so was marrying her. Rather, he was committing fornciation-- a sin. Fornication is a sin whether the price is $100 or free.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,123
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#22
I'd really like to hear from those in here that didn't wait until marriage to have sex. I know it happens more than christians would like to admit, and saying such a thing is a double edged sword as it admit's fault to a judgmental community while at the same time giving someone a "free pass" who is struggling with the concept. However real stories from people in this sinful world would be nice. I am more than certain that waiting for marriage doesn't make everything sunshine and at the same time I know that successful marriages don't always involve waiting.

Here is one story, one of my closest friends was raised catholic and he has told me a few times that he wishes he didn't wait so he could be more experienced. (oh wait I do know one person that waited). He was raised in an abusive home and was at times homeless because he couldn't be at home with his father. His mother wouldn't leave him because she didn't believe in divorce but the consequences were severe for him. Today he believes in god and prays but he has no christian values. He is one of the very few people I feel comfortable telling anything in my life and I respect his opinion. However his wife has been through a double masectomy and chemo and he is full of issues stemming from his upbringing.

My point here is that christian values and waiting for marriage is never a sure fire way to a good life. He is with his wife that he loves and she loves him, even when he replaces his TV with a $4k model while they are $10k+ in debt and she needs a reconstructive boob job.

I think I'm going to go play games at his place this weekend.
I didn't wait, and have felt pain over it ever since. I was full of guilt over it during my marriage, and I really regret it. When I was with my wife, I could see what I had done in my mind, and it was horrible.
 
Jul 27, 2018
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The Garden of Weeden
#23
The ONLY thing I can give my husband that no other woman can give him is MY body. I didn't wait, but that is a regret of mine. Just because the world says it's okay doesn't mean there won't be regrets later from listening to the world instead of God. And using the excuse "celebrities are doing it, so it's more mainstream and acceptable today," is still using an excuse. Fifty years ago celebrities were "those deranged people" not someone to emulate. They were denied apartments, seats in restaurants and shows, and were considered outcasts....now for some reason, just because a person is in a movie, they are somehow a role model? When did lying for a living(acting or pretending) make one a good person? EH just my opinion though.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
6,386
910
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#24
When you lay with a woman, they own you. Run....
That would be "lie", but it seems that this word is generally used incorrectly, so you are not alone. I see this in books all the time. Anyhow, your thought is a little extreme (probably tongue-in-cheek), although you do have a point.

Ideally (and biblically), people should marry at the earliest opportunity, and have sexual relations only after marriage. And marriage is heterosexual, monogamous, and permanent until death, with the goal of having a family and raising children "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord"). For Christians, divorce is unacceptable to God (except for one reason alone).
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,123
113
#25
That would be "lie", but it seems that this word is generally used incorrectly, so you are not alone. I see this in books all the time. Anyhow, your thought is a little extreme (probably tongue-in-cheek), although you do have a point.

Ideally (and biblically), people should marry at the earliest opportunity, and have sexual relations only after marriage. And marriage is heterosexual, monogamous, and permanent until death, with the goal of having a family and raising children "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord"). For Christians, divorce is unacceptable to God (except for one reason alone).
But I already did it.

That's why I know these things.

And I'm sure to lie with another.

I never learn from my mistakes.
 
Oct 9, 2018
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#26
Have a look at statistics and see what you think.
University of Chicago, was the first serious, fully reputable study of sexual behavior in America. It found a marked connection between premarital sex and elevated risk of divorce. The authors explain:
"For both genders, we find that virgins have dramatically more stable first marriages"
2
"The finding confirms the results reported by Kahn and London…those who are virgins at marriage have much lower rates of separation and divorce."
3
Additionally, "Those who marry as non-virgins are also more likely – all other things being equal – to be unfaithful over the remainder of their life compared with those spouses who do marry as virgins."
4
This higher prevalence of marital infidelity among the non-virginal is assumed to be an important factor in their higher likelihood of divorce, while "those who are virgins at marriage are those who go to greater lengths to avoid divorce."
5
Essentially, non-virgins typically appear to do more to harm their marriages and virgins do more to strengthen them.
 

TamLynn

Junior Member
Nov 27, 2014
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#27
But I already did it.

That's why I know these things.

And I'm sure to lie with another.

I never learn from my mistakes.
Pain. Guilt. Regret. Those things steal your joy and keep your eyes off Jesus.
This might be a mistake you don't want to make again Tommy. I pray you don't.