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L
Well yes he has touched upon that. But doesn't believe he's an evil person. And I don't want him feeling like that is an excuse. He's an educated person in a community service position and he knows right from wrong. I want to know how he could switch off from a marriage and partake in infidelity and what could he possibly have told himself to make it ok.
K
I have never faced what you are facing but I have gone through dark times with family issues. I had no one to talk to at all and it seemed so much worse. So I try to listen when others need to talk. I try to give support knowing what its like to be so deeply hurt and just needing someone that cares. If I have helped in any way I feel blessed that God may have used me in some small way. We here at CC are praying for you.
L
You should feel blessed. You are a listener but you are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You are active in your listening. You see those in need and you respond. Don't discount your advice, you too are a person with feelings and be it feelings that you are most I tune too. No one should take a path of hurt without help or support. And you don't deserve to feel alone when you from what brief encounter have given so much. I always say head high so you don't miss a thing... It makes you available to be present!
E
Hello LozzLana,
I'm sure your head is spinning from all the thoughts, doubts and conflicting advice. I certainly won't tell you what to do, that the job of the Holy Spirit. But I can tell you every situation is different, unique.
There are so many factors which will determine whether you will stay married or not but the most important thing now is: is he truly sorry for what he had done and are you willing to even entertain the thought of forgiveness. If yes (to both of these) you can start from there.
It is NOT true that once a spouse is unfaithful it is the end of the marriage. Marriage is so much bigger then this. It is a tough time to go through but you can be much closer to each other at the end of it then you were before his affairs or ever maybe.
Unfaithfulness is a symptom of a problem and not only a problem itself. The problem may not be with you or your marriage, but most likely with him and his attitude. That's why it's great you are doing the counselling. Get to the root of it. Heal and move on. Fight for your family, there is nothing more precious and worth your time.
I am speaking as a betrayed wife. We managed to save our marriage and I never had any doubts it was the best decision. I described our long story, the way we dealt with the aftermath and how God helped us to survive in my blog mybloomsday.wordpress.com
I wrote it to help others in this situation and to give testimony to God's love.
All the best to you and your family. I'll try to keep an eye on your story. God bless.
I'm sure your head is spinning from all the thoughts, doubts and conflicting advice. I certainly won't tell you what to do, that the job of the Holy Spirit. But I can tell you every situation is different, unique.
There are so many factors which will determine whether you will stay married or not but the most important thing now is: is he truly sorry for what he had done and are you willing to even entertain the thought of forgiveness. If yes (to both of these) you can start from there.
It is NOT true that once a spouse is unfaithful it is the end of the marriage. Marriage is so much bigger then this. It is a tough time to go through but you can be much closer to each other at the end of it then you were before his affairs or ever maybe.
Unfaithfulness is a symptom of a problem and not only a problem itself. The problem may not be with you or your marriage, but most likely with him and his attitude. That's why it's great you are doing the counselling. Get to the root of it. Heal and move on. Fight for your family, there is nothing more precious and worth your time.
I am speaking as a betrayed wife. We managed to save our marriage and I never had any doubts it was the best decision. I described our long story, the way we dealt with the aftermath and how God helped us to survive in my blog mybloomsday.wordpress.com
I wrote it to help others in this situation and to give testimony to God's love.
All the best to you and your family. I'll try to keep an eye on your story. God bless.
K
I appreciate that very much. Sometimes people who have been through a storm are more sensitive to others,but not always. I just hope I can give encouragement when someone is feeling lost and alone. I was in ministry for years so maybe Im more attuned to hurting people. I certainly hope that to be true.
Does your husband trust that Jesus Christ is Lord and Saviour? Because if he does, he needs to be shown how evil and bad adultery is. And that you can justify divorce based on what he is doing, although restoration is definitely better! And if he does not believe in Jesus, we all need to pray for his salvation.
Do you trust Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour? I am hearing a lot about churches and masses, but I believe the Bible is clear that we are only saved by the grace of God - not through a church or mediator.
My thought, besides the marriage counselling, is for you to read the New Testament, to start. Get a Bible you can understand, and start in John. Then read Matthew, Mark and Luke. Read John again, then go to Acts and the epistles. You can read Revelation, just be aware there are a lot of weird symbols and it can be hard to understand, or worse, some people badly interpret it.
Then put Jesus on speed dial. Not the rosary, but Jesus! Nor Mary, but Jesus! Ask him to help you, to guide you and lead you. Ask him to comfort you and to change your husband.
"Heavenly Father, I just pray for Lozzlana, that you will become very real in her life. That she will realize that you are the way, the truth and the life - and that no one comes to the Father but by Jesus Christ. Hold her hand, help her through this trying time in her life. Bring solid Christians into her life, especially women who can pray with her, and lead her without judgment. I pray for a restoration for her marriage, meaning that her husband will repent, and figure out why he is cheating and why he has been putting his gratification first, instead of their marriage. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen!"
Do you trust Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour? I am hearing a lot about churches and masses, but I believe the Bible is clear that we are only saved by the grace of God - not through a church or mediator.
My thought, besides the marriage counselling, is for you to read the New Testament, to start. Get a Bible you can understand, and start in John. Then read Matthew, Mark and Luke. Read John again, then go to Acts and the epistles. You can read Revelation, just be aware there are a lot of weird symbols and it can be hard to understand, or worse, some people badly interpret it.
Then put Jesus on speed dial. Not the rosary, but Jesus! Nor Mary, but Jesus! Ask him to help you, to guide you and lead you. Ask him to comfort you and to change your husband.
"Heavenly Father, I just pray for Lozzlana, that you will become very real in her life. That she will realize that you are the way, the truth and the life - and that no one comes to the Father but by Jesus Christ. Hold her hand, help her through this trying time in her life. Bring solid Christians into her life, especially women who can pray with her, and lead her without judgment. I pray for a restoration for her marriage, meaning that her husband will repent, and figure out why he is cheating and why he has been putting his gratification first, instead of their marriage. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen!"
L
Just checking in,hope you are ok. 