You may have sex after infidelity but that is all it will be, sex. It will not be making love as that is a physical expression between two consensual parties, particularly in marriage. I believe that the worse thing that you can do to your spouse is to be unfaithful. This kills the intimacy that was once shared but now is forever lost. A spouse that has love in their heart placed there by God to share will never contemplate or do such a horrible thing.
Sex after infidelity
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I respect you for staying and its admirable
Though I do think that your feelings are real and he needs to respect and understand that. I once heard from a Christian counselor that whatever and however long it takes for you to feel comfortable he needs to deal with. I would talk to him and let him know that this is how you feel and you are working through it...though in the time being this is what you are comfortable with (foot rub, hand holding ect). If he is serious about repairing your marriage, he will wait and put in the work. Remember, this is his mistake and his consequences, not yours.
Infidelity rips marriages apart and one night of fun perhaps has long term effects.
Though I do think that your feelings are real and he needs to respect and understand that. I once heard from a Christian counselor that whatever and however long it takes for you to feel comfortable he needs to deal with. I would talk to him and let him know that this is how you feel and you are working through it...though in the time being this is what you are comfortable with (foot rub, hand holding ect). If he is serious about repairing your marriage, he will wait and put in the work. Remember, this is his mistake and his consequences, not yours.Infidelity rips marriages apart and one night of fun perhaps has long term effects.
I respect you for staying and its admirable Though I do think that your feelings are real and he needs to respect and understand that. I once heard from a Christian counselor that whatever and however long it takes for you to feel comfortable he needs to deal with. I would talk to him and let him know that this is how you feel and you are working through it...though in the time being this is what you are comfortable with (foot rub, hand holding ect). If he is serious about repairing your marriage, he will wait and put in the work. Remember, this is his mistake and his consequences, not yours.
Infidelity rips marriages apart and one night of fun perhaps has long term effects.
Though I do think that your feelings are real and he needs to respect and understand that. I once heard from a Christian counselor that whatever and however long it takes for you to feel comfortable he needs to deal with. I would talk to him and let him know that this is how you feel and you are working through it...though in the time being this is what you are comfortable with (foot rub, hand holding ect). If he is serious about repairing your marriage, he will wait and put in the work. Remember, this is his mistake and his consequences, not yours.Infidelity rips marriages apart and one night of fun perhaps has long term effects.
Thank you for all your prayers and words of wisdom. It is really hard... Everything that I know has been shaken. There are days when we seem okay and then when I cross paths with "faith" I am just sad. She lives in another town but comes to where I am and participates at the same Gym so she makes sure I see her or she gets a glimpse of us. . I don't want to stop going but I have. She has a relationship with my nephew through school and It hurts when I see her all smiling and being inquisitive about the family. The sex part is the problem.. I do love my husband but the sex is not all that. I was always taught to be the good wife give him what he wanted... keep his ego up..respect him and I would have the perfect husband. Be what he wanted in bed...etc. Now.... I see intercourse as just what happens when my body needs sexual release . This has nothing to do with God or getting into heaven. I am not like trying to give him or myself all the nooky before we die. It is just not that important anymore. I have done it when I did not want to and wanted to over the course of 25 years. I did it to get pregnant and I did it because I was hot with passion (my own selfish desire). It was going downhill anyway. I choose to stick it out take up that cross and grin and bear it. and not stray..... He decides to share his penis, touch and mouth with someone else who is married to a someone 30 years older (she in 40's) who husband is just happy he got a young wife who still tolerates him and they are Christian folks. I truly can forgive and trying to forget..but she is playing a dangerous game with me and I am asking God to give me wisdom in how to deal with this Jezebel spirit .I have come a long way form doing things the street way... My pastor is a joke...... no need to even go there. I love him but...his strength is not marriage counseling. He is quick to get people married and a little 12 week program about how we are suppose to be...but no one remembers after the wedding. I read Fireproof and saw the movie.... I could not relate to that. I want justice. It will not happen in my time. The only happy ending I see is "till death do us part" Then I can go on and be with the Lord and not have to suffer the pain and casualty of being born in sin..... through the act of sin (SEX)... which is hyped up too much and is the root of so much trouble in the world. Someone told me... Good girls are really no fun but better for a man.... and bad girls are no good but give the man an illusion he is better. Who determines good women from bad women. Can I have sex... I guess I can.... but on my terms...... I have to love him like Christ loves me.... I do not have to love him like erotica...That does not draw me close to God anyway. I can just Phileo and practice agape. End the end.... God gets the glory and defeats the bad stuff.
I said a lot.
I said a lot.
I did say for her to pray for guidance first and then the lawyer. There are many situations where you don't have the luxury of time to contemplate endlessly on what is the proper course of action. This woman is in a horrible situation and I gave her the best piece of advice that I could based on my lifetime and observation of such matters. I was in prayer before offering counsel. Some of the advice on this site is a bit naïve for real life situations. Having said that, there are servants of God on this site who are much wiser than I am and offer sound counsel as well. For those few, I appreciate very much.