I agree with your points -God putting different things on our hearts- and it's a coincident that my life's experience has been just that. From being a young teen God put it on my heart to marry someone of another race. And I had always thought, about adoption, that I would adopt in a moment if given the chance. I think I saw that a child without parents was a need that was so compelling that I would answer that need if I saw it. Then, as it happened, my wife and I could not conceive and so we turned to adoption as a possible option. I was already of the mind that I would adopt in a heart beat anyway so it wasn't an "Oh well maybe we'll just have to adopt" attitude I had. We have adopted and raised 3 children each of which took 9 months to come after putting in each request for a baby. We were told that because we were a mixed race marriage, we were moved ahead of others when a mixed race baby came up for adoption. The rational being, they look for the best fitting family for each child and not just to the next couple in line. And a mixed race baby would have a sense of connection in a mixed race couples family. Anyway it shortened our waiting time for each of our adoptions.
One thing I believe of adoption is the need for some counseling once adopted children are older. We have always been open with them about being adopted but feel they still carry abandonment issues that should be dealt with in order to be fully healthy emotionally.
Thank you so much for sharing--this was a WONDERFUL story and really made me smile.
In 1994, I was able to go back to Korea and visit my original orphanage--we made two separate visits there and each time, a little girl broke my heart. One was just a baby... maybe six months old... and even though I tried to give her back to the caregiver so she'd have someone else to hold her when we had to leave, she SCREAMED bloody murder when I gave her to someone else.
It was amazing, and incredibly heartbreaking, that this tiny little human being could feel so bonded with another person in only about 10 minutes, despite barriers of age, language, culture, and what would be thought of as general "understanding."
The second girl was about four years old and was an identical twin. She and her sister were exact opposites--her sister was right in the middle of everything, happy and cheerful on the surface, but if you tried to get near her or pick her up, she kicked and fought. As soon as you put her down, she went back to smiling.
Her sister, on the other hand, was so quiet that I had no idea that the first girl even had an identical twin until someone pointed it out. This other twin that I noticed clung to door frames and looked up at people with sad eyes. It was painfully obvious that she was used to being invisible and it just broke my heart!!!
I crouched down to talk to her and she looked away. I picked her up and had to physically put her hand on my shoulder as a balance--not in a pressuring or forceful way at all--she was just so used to being overlooked I think she expected me to put her down and walk away. But as soon as I started talking to her and showing her my camera... again, despite language and cultural barrier, she put her head on my shoulder and just clung on.
When we had to leave, she followed me out to the door and held out her arms to me with those sad eyes, as if to say, "I don't care where you're going, even if it's to the deepest pit of hell... I'd gladly go with you."
I asked about sponsoring these twins, but was told they had actually already been adopted and were just waiting for the paperwork to go through.
I cried for the next three nights we were in Korea!!!
I've never felt that I was very much of a "mothering" type but maybe someday I'll go back to my orphanage and be able to take one or more of those children home with me permanently.
You've given me something to think about as well-- I have a desire to marry someone of another race as well, and maybe being adopted from the same place and country myself would help grant me God's favor in such a situation as well, though I can't deny today's expense of adoption.
When my parents got my brother and myself (we were adopted at different times and are not biologically related), my Mom said it cost the same as the hospital costs for her to have my youngest brother (their own biological son)--$2500 per child. That was 35 years ago.
My friends who recently adopted have tallied the costs at somewhere around $22,000 and more... but most of it was paid through fundraisers and church support. They are next hoping to adopt a child from an African country, as they have a desire to build a multi-racial, multi-cultural family.
I keep reminding myself that where God leads, God will provide a way!
