Trying my best.....need advice

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
LOLOKGal

LOLOKGal

Senior Member
#21
Nov 13, 2015
774
89
28
#21
There's been alot of post here that has been so quick to point out to you what you're doing wrong. I'm sure the Holy Spirit has and is speaking to you about this, so I won't say more about that. Here's what I would like to suggest...

Watch these two movies, take notes, and put into practice, you know, live it out:
Fireproof
War Room

Read this book and live it out:
Love Dare - it's from the movie, " Fireproof". It takes you through 40 days of things to do for your spouse, in Christ Jesus, to help bring the relationship back together and under His leading.

You can do this in Christ, Who strengthens you! (Phil 4:13)
I believe in you! =)
 
damombomb

damombomb

Senior Member
#22
Feb 27, 2011
3,801
68
48
#22
You need to put a ring on her finger. You have a son together. Trust the Lord. JMO
 
J

jasonj

Guest
#23
#23
Scott21 said:
My fiance and my self have been together for 3 years and have a beautiful 2 year old son. I'm 47 and she's 30. I'm having trouble trusting her and have had suspicions for some time that she may be having an affair. In the beginning of the relationship everything was wonderful, I'm a born again Christian that has been saved for many years. She has recently become born again but I believe that she's still young yet in the Lord and worldly influence may be leading her to make the wrong decisions. I feel like she doesn't look at me or love me the same as she used to...help
Click to expand...

just a reminder to you scott, everyone telling you about your sin here, have their own sin. they aren't incorrect about marriage at all, but id say you've been made aware of that part.......and there is a judge, Hes wonderful, He is always willing to forgive us when we confess and repent.

concerning your issue, I would determine whether the problem is your thoughts, or her actions. and then be honest with her about your doubts in a peaceful setting. possibly through communication you can get some answers. and never regret your Son, He is blessed and a blessing, teach Him about the Lord, and press on toward the goal..
 
J

jasonj

Guest
#24
#24
LOLOKGal said:
There's been alot of post here that has been so quick to point out to you what you're doing wrong. I'm sure the Holy Spirit has and is speaking to you about this, so I won't say more about that. Here's what I would like to suggest...

Watch these two movies, take notes, and put into practice, you know, live it out:
Fireproof
War Room

Read this book and live it out:
Love Dare - it's from the movie, " Fireproof". It takes you through 40 days of things to do for your spouse, in Christ Jesus, to help bring the relationship back together and under His leading.

You can do this in Christ, Who strengthens you! (Phil 4:13)
I believe in you! =)
Click to expand...
Love those movies, lol especially war room. that little old lady is an inspriation
 
LOLOKGal

LOLOKGal

Senior Member
#25
Nov 13, 2015
774
89
28
#25
jasonj said:
Love those movies, lol especially war room. that little old lady is an inspriation
Click to expand...
Oh me too! =D My daughter and I watched War Room today, for our umpteenth time. ...lol... I was looking at the movie on IMDB today and saw the lady that plays the old woman and the guy that plays the husband is staring in a movie that just recently came out called, God's Compass.

If you ever get War Room on DVD, watch the features. It will bless the socks off of you, it did me. =)
 
P

popeye

Guest
#26
#26
I'm having trouble trusting her and have had suspicions for some time that she may be having an affair
Click to expand...
That,my friend,is called torment.

If it is all in your mind,then that is a pretty big deception you have CREATED.

None the less,if it were me ,I could promise you,I would get to the bottom of it.
You need to eliminate that guessing game torment. You will stress out into serious health problems.

Her phone should be enough to tell the story,or if you got the money,hire a private eye or something.


But here is the twist. We are precariously situated for disaster in this country.

I would quickly get close to Jesus,and let the world do it's thing. (not saying to abandon your son,but you may be losing that girl).

never put your main investment in a spouse. They could be gone tomorrow.
 
P

popeye

Guest
#27
#27
LOLOKGal said:
Oh me too! =D My daughter and I watched War Room today, for our umpteenth time. ...lol... I was looking at the movie on IMDB today and saw the lady that plays the old woman and the guy that plays the husband is staring in a movie that just recently came out called, God's Compass.

If you ever get War Room on DVD, watch the features. It will bless the socks off of you, it did me. =)
Click to expand...
In every one of those modern movies,the man is ALWAYS a mess,and the women are strong and have to rescue the man.

I often wonder if the men don't get a negative pull off that plot. It is getting pretty worn out and predictable.

Hidden message big time in those movies.
 
M

myvonne02

Guest
#28
#28
well you dont have to judge her okat...Just pray for a good woman okay , as i am , am single and seeking for a good and responsible man to start life with
 
LOLOKGal

LOLOKGal

Senior Member
#29
Nov 13, 2015
774
89
28
#29
popeye said:
In every one of those modern movies,the man is ALWAYS a mess,and the women are strong and have to rescue the man.

I often wonder if the men don't get a negative pull off that plot. It is getting pretty worn out and predictable.

Hidden message big time in those movies.
Click to expand...
Oh on the contrary, my friend. =) The Fireproof movie, the man was the strong one that had to do the saving. In Courageous and Facing The Giants, it was the man. However, this is not the point. We can't look at who is saving who. But look at the message in the movie and allow God to speak to us, change us, and move towards Him. =)
 
J

jasonj

Guest
#30
#30
LOLOKGal said:
Oh me too! =D My daughter and I watched War Room today, for our umpteenth time. ...lol... I was looking at the movie on IMDB today and saw the lady that plays the old woman and the guy that plays the husband is staring in a movie that just recently came out called, God's Compass.

If you ever get War Room on DVD, watch the features. It will bless the socks off of you, it did me. =)
Click to expand...
I just watched it I think 3 days ago :) and thanks...now I am gonna have to get the dvd lol God bless
 
sandtigeress

sandtigeress

Senior Member
#31
Apr 29, 2013
526
16
18
#31
What i get out of your first post is:
You are older in years and think you are longer a christian,
in both aspects (physical and spiritual) you believe
yourself to be more mature.
I am not sure that is true:
+ You think she may turn away from you (having an affair)
+ You are thinking of leaving her (the strange question, if you should forgive her, if she was unfaithful, which you do not know)
+ You (maybe both) are not making steps toward more closeness (marriage certificate)

You seem to be thinking a lot about a situation, that would allow you to leave
the situation and the partnership. So maybe she is picking that up and then
having the same thoughts.

I am not one of those people that think commitment needs a certificate, you
have a wife (so not yet with worldly certificate) and a son, you are a
family father, so stop thinking about your feeling, and what you should/want do
alone, start thinking about what is best for your family.
And take decisions together with your wife (= equal life partner)
 
W

wanderermish

Guest
#32
#32
Scott21 said:
My fiance and my self have been together for 3 years and have a beautiful 2 year old son. I'm 47 and she's 30. I'm having trouble trusting her and have had suspicions for some time that she may be having an affair. In the beginning of the relationship everything was wonderful, I'm a born again Christian that has been saved for many years. She has recently become born again but I believe that she's still young yet in the Lord and worldly influence may be leading her to make the wrong decisions. I feel like she doesn't look at me or love me the same as she used to...help
Click to expand...
Brother If you both claim yourself a Born Again Christian You must be a Follower of Christ
and It is written in the Bible that We should free ourselves in the sinful nature or the desires of our flesh
that Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by renewing your mind (Romans 12:2)

I do not Judge your decisions or the situations you are right now but Living Unmarried is not a Christian Way and now Fears comes along your relationship because Both of you have no CHRIST Foundation so You have trust issues with Her. If you want to end this take and listen to what we are advising to you see those brethren who commented here We all wanna help you

It is not too late fix your relationship and get marry Don't give a separated parents your son think about him do the right thing and repent to the Lord so He can Bless your Family.

God Bless
 
P

Pilkington

Senior Member
#33
Jan 13, 2015
640
101
28
#33
You have been given a lot of good advice. Here are a few thoughts.

1. Do you have any actual evidence your fiance has had an affair? Do you have any concrete reason not to trust her? If not then I suggest you have to trust her. If you have accused her or acting as if you don't trust her then she wont look at you or love you as she used.

2. Every relationship has its honeymoon period where everything is wonderful and then things have to be worked at.

3. A lot of things have changed since you have got together, having a child makes everything different, maybe she feels tired or unsupported. She may feel she has lost her identy and may just see herself as a Mum. This will again impact on how she looks at you and how she feels about her. You need to show her you still love her and interested in her without her feeling pressurised. Your son is going to be her priority.

4. Does she still want to get married? Who is delaying getting married? If you said we could get married tomorrow would she want to? Maybe her feelings have changed as she feels you are dragging your feet and will never bother to marry her.

5. As a Christian you should never have started living with her, or had sex before getting married. If you are repentant as others have said God will forgive you. Have you considered as she has become a Chrisitan maybe God has challenged her about your relationship and she is being convicted in regards to having sex and living with someone outside marriage. If that is the case clearly she will not look at you or love you in the way she used to.

6. It could all be in your mind has someone sheeted on you in the passed.

I will be praying for you, your fiance and your son.
 
Zmouth

Zmouth

Senior Member
#34
Nov 21, 2012
3,391
134
63
#34
Scott21 said:
My fiance and my self have been together for 3 years and have a beautiful 2 year old son. I'm 47 and she's 30. I'm having trouble trusting her and have had suspicions for some time that she may be having an affair. In the beginning of the relationship everything was wonderful, I'm a born again Christian that has been saved for many years. She has recently become born again but I believe that she's still young yet in the Lord and worldly influence may be leading her to make the wrong decisions. I feel like she doesn't look at me or love me the same as she used to...help
Click to expand...
That could be due to several reasons, one being that you're 47 and she is 30, which I will address later but the second reason is that you are 47 and she is 30 and recently born again which gives one a new and clearer view of life and the world around them.

With that said, in regards to the first point, you're 47 and she's 30. As far as her decision making abilities, can you live comfortably on 20% of your net wages?
 
Last edited:
M

missionforchrist

Banned
#35
Jun 5, 2016
1
0
0
#35
popeye said:
That,my friend,is called torment.

If it is all in your mind,then that is a pretty big deception you have CREATED.

None the less,if it were me ,I could promise you,I would get to the bottom of it.
You need to eliminate that guessing game torment. You will stress out into serious health problems.

Her phone should be enough to tell the story,or if you got the money,hire a private eye or something.


But here is the twist. We are precariously situated for disaster in this country.

I would quickly get close to Jesus,and let the world do it's thing. (not saying to abandon your son,but you may be losing that girl).

never put your main investment in a spouse. They could be gone tomorrow.
Click to expand...
Love your advice man keep up the good work. Continue inspiring other people.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.