Unconditional Love?

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Miri

Senior Member
Jul 22, 2012
8,069
934
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UK age 50
Unconditional love does exist in human beings but it’s only by the grace of God.

I will give you an example, I live with my elderly aunt and take care of her. I
was also brought up by her.

She has multiple medical problems and is 82. I’ve lived for the past 5 years not
knowing if this morning is the morning I find she has died. In her confusion,
pain, hypoxia (she uses oxygen 24/7), agitation, states of delerium at various times,
she has called me every name under the sun, swore using all the bad words.
Threatened to hit me in her confusion (not that she could do any harm if she did).
She has threatened to call the police a few times when she was had a bad reaction to
medication and didn’t recognise who I was.

I do everything for her, feed her, clothes her, wash her, toilet her. Wash all her soiled
bedding, clean up when she is sick, scrape meals off the floor when she spills them, sort
out all her medical needs and appointments. Everything I do and everywhere I go I have
to be contactable in case she has a fall. My first waking thought is if she is ok and how I need
to put her needs first. My last waking thought is if I have done everyone I needed to do
for her before I go to sleep.

I get up in the middle of the night to check on her.

There is nothing she is able to give me back in return, she can’t make a meal and can’t make a
drink, can’t do any housework. What she does give back I suppose is her companionship.
She no longer has much capacity to think of anyone else as she has about a 15% reduced
cognitive ability.

It was impossibly hard at first, many times I have wanted to walk out. But God has put
unconditonal love in my heart for her. I do everything for her but expect nothing back
in return. I want her to live the rest of her in her own home, not in a nursing home.
I want her to live with dignity and peace, not in fear or in a strange place.

Along the way God has taught me patience, the value of little things. That there are
a lot of things in life far worse than not getting enough sleep, no matter how tired
I might feel.

Sure I get upset and frustrated at times even angry. I get angry when she takes
off the oxygen for example as I know the irreparable damage it can do to her.
I get angry when she doesn’t drink enough as I know her kidneys cannot cope
with that and her potassium levels get dangerously high. I even get angry at
her at times but it’s soon forgotten.

I also know I am exactly where God wants me to be right now.

So yes I think unconditional love does exist but it’s not on our part. It’s
something God imparts to us.

Maybe its for a season, maybe it’s temporary, maybe it’s for a work he wants us to do.
But it’s all of God and nothing of ourselves.

Another example I know of a few Christian people who work among prostitutes, God has
put a love for these people in their hearts to reach out to them, to help them off the
streets, to share God’s message of love with them.

I know still others who work with teen challenge and the homeless, they go out at
night time seeking the lost helping without judging and without expecting anything
back in return.

In and of ourselves I don’t think unconditional love exists, it’s all from God.
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
7,758
602
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what a wonderful heart-felt witness, Miri -
Thank You for sharing...
I believe somewhere in Aunt's heart
she Loves and Cherishes her precious niece,
just unable to express it at this time of her life...
I know for sure that Jesus does...
such Godly unselfishness is almost unheard of
these days...
 
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mcubed

Senior Member
Dec 20, 2013
1,449
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G-D "love"... but do not expect that from a human... it is wrong for mankind to... I say that because if a man is a child molester I can "love" him but from far away... away from my family... G-d loves him up close. Like G-d does. If he is a murder... G-d loves him no matter what... In the human mind (my mind) bar fight = death one thing, serial killer another of curly haired bernuts another... I would love you to your gas chamber... So unconditional is conditional... Should a woman love unconditionally a man that beats the crap out of her very night? I'm sure she does and maybe should... but not keep around to beat the crap out of her every night!!! Usually people that want unconditional love want unconditional acceptance... NOT THE SAME AND SHOULD NOT BE!!!! We should unconditionally love, as humans NOT G-D, WE SHOULD NEVER UNCONDITIONALLY ACCEPT!!!!!!
 
Jan 25, 2018
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How does one help believers to get Gods love into their hearts?

Obedience, a dedicated will to follow the Lord.
Without cleansing and a changed heart all is dark and gloomy.

Jesus is light shinning in the darkness, demonstrated by the good deeds of love
He and His followers did.

Not resisting the evil man, accepting a blow, and not holding it against another
because the sin within determines the persons behaviour. Timing is everything,
and in the Lords will and time all the things required will come to pass.

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it leads only to evil.
For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.
Psalm 37:5-9
 

Deade

Senior Member
Dec 17, 2017
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We are not allowed to love only those who love us, or are like us. As people mature, they usually rationalize that they will not be accepted by all, so they tighten their target group. Seeking to create a circle of friends and loved ones is within our human nature, it just comes naturally. This type of thinking often results in sinful behavior. One might oppress a person or group to find favor with another. Let’s look at what God’s word has to say about it: “To have respect of persons is not good: For, for a piece of bread that man will transgress” (Proverbs 28:21). Need something from the New Testament? “My brethren, have not the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons. But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors” (James 2:1,9). To be true to God’s word, requires setting aside of some of our inherent personality traits. :rolleyes:

Speaking of acceptance, I prefer to stress the fact that acceptance is an expression of love. The motivation to acquire wealth is usually driven by the desire to be accepted. Even hermits frequently have pets, to satisfy their needs for acceptance. Whether we admit it or not, we want to be loved and accepted. There is something in our spirits that drive this need. We were created to have fellowship with God.
:cool:
 
Feb 7, 2018
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I'm not so sure that we can have unconditional love for each other we are human so obviously relationships come with conditions. Unconditional love describes the live God has for us. We can strive to be like Jesus, but that is all we can do.
 
Feb 5, 2017
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It depends where you are coming from, the you inside a meat suit controlled by the brain, or the you that is the spiritual self aligned to God. And yes that is the biggest struggle, because it's hard to get out of this meat suit, or to see that we are more than it, but yes, it is possible, albeit maybe not as a constant. We all have our moments.
 

John73pk

Junior Member
Feb 9, 2018
5
0
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Dear brothers and sisters i Christ,

Greetings in the most precious name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

Sister this is Pastor Tariq John from Pakistan. I serve here full-time to reach out the lost from the last 20 years with a dedicated team of 15 pastors in 135 villages and towns throughout Pakistan. Our mission is to win souls for the Lord and change lives. Planting new churches all around Pakistan. I am feeling blessed and touched to be here in Christian chat website. Hope we would have fellowship here through messages. We will pray for you and our family.

In Christ
Pastor T. John
 

shrimp

Senior Member
Aug 28, 2011
1,170
25
48
I am also asking this question and I am asking what does it look like? Are fallible humans capable of it?
I started asking this question after reading several comments about a mother and father who told their son that they love him but would not be attending his gay "wedding", resulting in a separation between mother and son.
I don't encourage Homosexuality nor would I participate in a ceremony celebrating it. However, I am curious:
If, heaven forbid, one of my children chose to be gay and decided to become bound to the person they were sinning with, and wanted me to attend that ceremony. If I don't participate or congratulate on grounds that it is sinful behavior, That will cause a "divorce" between them and I. Is this Conditional Love or Unconditional Love? Should we always have Unconditional love? Or should we use moderation and use the judging abilities God gave us to make appropriate decisions?

I don't know.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,041
101
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In a marriage, or relationship, what is unconditional love?
To me it's pretty simple...Jesus is unconditional love. As we become more like Him, we gain understanding how to love unconditionally in all our relationships. Unconditional love is a willingness to love others no matter what. To bear others burdens, to not judge, to always turn the other cheek, and to uplift with kindness and kind words, and share God's word.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
I am also asking this question and I am asking what does it look like? Are fallible humans capable of it?
I started asking this question after reading several comments about a mother and father who told their son that they love him but would not be attending his gay "wedding", resulting in a separation between mother and son.
I don't encourage Homosexuality nor would I participate in a ceremony celebrating it. However, I am curious:
If, heaven forbid, one of my children chose to be gay and decided to become bound to the person they were sinning with, and wanted me to attend that ceremony. If I don't participate or congratulate on grounds that it is sinful behavior, That will cause a "divorce" between them and I. Is this Conditional Love or Unconditional Love? Should we always have Unconditional love? Or should we use moderation and use the judging abilities God gave us to make appropriate decisions?

I don't know.
Have you ever been called to be a witness for a fried or family member? Witness, as in they signed a paper, you witnessed it, and then you signed that you witnessed?

Yes, it's a legal term, but it is that same legal term at a wedding. If you go to a wedding, you are witnessing the union of two people, and saying you approve of it.

My brother cheated on his wife, got a divorce, then married the woman he cheated with. Obviously, I could not approve of that, so I didn't go to their wedding.

But they had the wedding without us, and now that woman is part of my family. She's my sister. And I will love her and treat her as such. (They've been married for over 15 years, so not like she's not firmly a part of our family already.)

That's about how I handle it.
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
7,758
602
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well said Lynn,

but, according to our God-given-convictions', we are to be separate from the world and it's
dis-respect to our Creator- thus showing/proving our Love and Respect to Him,
first and foremost in ALL situations...
 

shrimp

Senior Member
Aug 28, 2011
1,170
25
48
Have you ever been called to be a witness for a fried or family member? Witness, as in they signed a paper, you witnessed it, and then you signed that you witnessed?

Yes, it's a legal term, but it is that same legal term at a wedding. If you go to a wedding, you are witnessing the union of two people, and saying you approve of it.

My brother cheated on his wife, got a divorce, then married the woman he cheated with. Obviously, I could not approve of that, so I didn't go to their wedding.

But they had the wedding without us, and now that woman is part of my family. She's my sister. And I will love her and treat her as such. (They've been married for over 15 years, so not like she's not firmly a part of our family already.)

That's about how I handle it.
I know what a witness is and for. We (hubby and I) needed two for our marriage. I understand the aspect of being there promotes it. But my question is: is it still unconditional love to not participate? Are actually supposed to have unconditional love or a mixture of conditional and unconditional based on God given judgement?

In your case: was you not participating in his second marriage unconditional love?
 

slave

Senior Member
Mar 20, 2015
6,278
875
113
In a marriage, or relationship, what is unconditional love?
unconditional love in a marriage or relationship is God. It is also Christ found in us in the way of a successful marriage and relationship. And it is also Agape love found in us towards others as we invest in loving others from the premise of love found in us..first. For without God first loving us we do not know what unconditional love is, nor can we give it away.
 

Deade

Senior Member
Dec 17, 2017
3,678
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True Agape type love is not always easy to give. I have witnessed love given to individuals to their hurt. When you fail to withhold love from a misbehaving child, you are condoning their actions. True love is not picking the easy way.

When Lynn withheld her blessings from her brothers wedding she was showing love for the old wife. Parents that keep handing adult children money sometimes hamper their growth. It is so easy to spoil a child or young adult that most do it. True love will cause you to speak up when you don't approve of their actions. That is not always easy. I think I made my point.

 

Dan58

Senior Member
Nov 13, 2013
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True love will cause you to speak up when you don't approve of their actions. That is not always easy. I think I made my point.

Perhaps its also why God will throw so many in the Lake of Fire? Love hurts. :)
 

stand2

Senior Member
Dec 6, 2017
289
20
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Whenever someone mentions a trait or human quality I try to think of a person in my life who best displayed that particular trait. My maternal grandmother would be my example of unconditional love. She was a simple woman, happy with the smallest of possessions. She loved everyone, never criticized a single person and never complained of anything or anyone. She read her Bible every single day and prayed faithfully. She suffered epilepsy all of her life without complaint, showing a wisdom far beyond her eighth grade education. She was loved, respected and admired by many who were far "better off". This humble, quiet, unassuming woman possessed a love most could only hope for........miss and love you, Gram. AMEN.............Stan.