M
Unconditional love does exist in human beings but it’s only by the grace of God.
I will give you an example, I live with my elderly aunt and take care of her. I
was also brought up by her.
She has multiple medical problems and is 82. I’ve lived for the past 5 years not
knowing if this morning is the morning I find she has died. In her confusion,
pain, hypoxia (she uses oxygen 24/7), agitation, states of delerium at various times,
she has called me every name under the sun, swore using all the bad words.
Threatened to hit me in her confusion (not that she could do any harm if she did).
She has threatened to call the police a few times when she was had a bad reaction to
medication and didn’t recognise who I was.
I do everything for her, feed her, clothes her, wash her, toilet her. Wash all her soiled
bedding, clean up when she is sick, scrape meals off the floor when she spills them, sort
out all her medical needs and appointments. Everything I do and everywhere I go I have
to be contactable in case she has a fall. My first waking thought is if she is ok and how I need
to put her needs first. My last waking thought is if I have done everyone I needed to do
for her before I go to sleep.
I get up in the middle of the night to check on her.
There is nothing she is able to give me back in return, she can’t make a meal and can’t make a
drink, can’t do any housework. What she does give back I suppose is her companionship.
She no longer has much capacity to think of anyone else as she has about a 15% reduced
cognitive ability.
It was impossibly hard at first, many times I have wanted to walk out. But God has put
unconditonal love in my heart for her. I do everything for her but expect nothing back
in return. I want her to live the rest of her in her own home, not in a nursing home.
I want her to live with dignity and peace, not in fear or in a strange place.
Along the way God has taught me patience, the value of little things. That there are
a lot of things in life far worse than not getting enough sleep, no matter how tired
I might feel.
Sure I get upset and frustrated at times even angry. I get angry when she takes
off the oxygen for example as I know the irreparable damage it can do to her.
I get angry when she doesn’t drink enough as I know her kidneys cannot cope
with that and her potassium levels get dangerously high. I even get angry at
her at times but it’s soon forgotten.
I also know I am exactly where God wants me to be right now.
So yes I think unconditional love does exist but it’s not on our part. It’s
something God imparts to us.
Maybe its for a season, maybe it’s temporary, maybe it’s for a work he wants us to do.
But it’s all of God and nothing of ourselves.
Another example I know of a few Christian people who work among prostitutes, God has
put a love for these people in their hearts to reach out to them, to help them off the
streets, to share God’s message of love with them.
I know still others who work with teen challenge and the homeless, they go out at
night time seeking the lost helping without judging and without expecting anything
back in return.
In and of ourselves I don’t think unconditional love exists, it’s all from God.
I will give you an example, I live with my elderly aunt and take care of her. I
was also brought up by her.
She has multiple medical problems and is 82. I’ve lived for the past 5 years not
knowing if this morning is the morning I find she has died. In her confusion,
pain, hypoxia (she uses oxygen 24/7), agitation, states of delerium at various times,
she has called me every name under the sun, swore using all the bad words.
Threatened to hit me in her confusion (not that she could do any harm if she did).
She has threatened to call the police a few times when she was had a bad reaction to
medication and didn’t recognise who I was.
I do everything for her, feed her, clothes her, wash her, toilet her. Wash all her soiled
bedding, clean up when she is sick, scrape meals off the floor when she spills them, sort
out all her medical needs and appointments. Everything I do and everywhere I go I have
to be contactable in case she has a fall. My first waking thought is if she is ok and how I need
to put her needs first. My last waking thought is if I have done everyone I needed to do
for her before I go to sleep.
I get up in the middle of the night to check on her.
There is nothing she is able to give me back in return, she can’t make a meal and can’t make a
drink, can’t do any housework. What she does give back I suppose is her companionship.
She no longer has much capacity to think of anyone else as she has about a 15% reduced
cognitive ability.
It was impossibly hard at first, many times I have wanted to walk out. But God has put
unconditonal love in my heart for her. I do everything for her but expect nothing back
in return. I want her to live the rest of her in her own home, not in a nursing home.
I want her to live with dignity and peace, not in fear or in a strange place.
Along the way God has taught me patience, the value of little things. That there are
a lot of things in life far worse than not getting enough sleep, no matter how tired
I might feel.
Sure I get upset and frustrated at times even angry. I get angry when she takes
off the oxygen for example as I know the irreparable damage it can do to her.
I get angry when she doesn’t drink enough as I know her kidneys cannot cope
with that and her potassium levels get dangerously high. I even get angry at
her at times but it’s soon forgotten.
I also know I am exactly where God wants me to be right now.
So yes I think unconditional love does exist but it’s not on our part. It’s
something God imparts to us.
Maybe its for a season, maybe it’s temporary, maybe it’s for a work he wants us to do.
But it’s all of God and nothing of ourselves.
Another example I know of a few Christian people who work among prostitutes, God has
put a love for these people in their hearts to reach out to them, to help them off the
streets, to share God’s message of love with them.
I know still others who work with teen challenge and the homeless, they go out at
night time seeking the lost helping without judging and without expecting anything
back in return.
In and of ourselves I don’t think unconditional love exists, it’s all from God.