I read much of this thread, but surely missed some important points.
First, I disagree that issuing marriage licenses to adulterers would be wrong. While I've been cheated on many times while married and never cheated myself, a civil servant cannot know if the applicant will cheat again. The adulterer doesn't announce or check off a box on the application that they are going to have an open marriage, or a clandestine semi-open marriage. Those homosexuals who are applying for a marriage license are stating and have proved to their partner they will have marital sex. It is part and parcel to marriage, in almost all cases. I'm sure there are those who marry for other reasons than sex, but likely few who actually agree to it beforehand. So, I just can't follow that line of thinking.
Jesus didn't always follow the law, as far as I can tell. He refused to sit back and allow the adulterous woman to be stoned, but stood by her side and called into question the morality of the law and the sinful nature of those who believed in it.
What I see as the problem is that this civil servant and others have to go against their moral and religious beliefs which may even be new to them, but none the less important to their new-found salvation.
It seems obvious to me that those with the power to influence laws and get them passed are those who are not Christians nor those who live by mostly Christian values. The world has changed due to greater understanding of the natural world and humans as a biological creature, and less as a spiritual one.
In my mind, so far anyway, the problem seems to be the wording of a license. I've checked out laws on this and they go by each state. The federal government really shouldn't have a say in it. That's the problem with our government today. It is not the same as it was founded to be. I don't want to argue which is better, but I just want to point out that state court decisions should hold a lot of weight in matters like this. Why do we bother to have states, if their laws and regulations are not respected and upheld? I think that's the idea. States powers have been slowly taken away.
Qualifications for marriage licenses may vary from state to state, but for the most part, they are meant to be sure your children have the best opportunity to be born healthy by keeping blood relatives from marrying. That was the main reason for a marriage license, as far as I can see. Taxes, someone said, are another issue. Fair enough...
So, if we need a new law to allow these folks to pay taxes, why haven't the words on the forms for marriage licenses changed? Why aren't those marriages called civil marriages on the forms? They have nothing to do with a covenant or...I'm not sure how to word this....a Christian, spiritual, Muslim, or other religious ceremony/celebration? This could be easily done and offend no one.
One thing is, all of us are going to have to change our thinking on marriage. A civil marriage is not one endorsed by God. A marriage that violates God's laws is not a marriage, no matter how much ceremony or pomp and circumstance is involved. I do believe there is an easy answer to this and that's what should be worked on, along with contacting the state and federal representatives who can change the wording to something more acceptable to all. The government did not complete their jobs.
They started allowing these marriages without change from top to bottom. It's what we do in the U.S. much too often. So, in my opinion, the best way to support this woman is with counsel, moral and spiritual support(prayers), peaceful protest at the state house and federal house, serious attempts to get the paperwork changed and any offensive wording in the laws while respecting the rights of those lost individuals.
I'm sure there is plenty more, but that's as much as I can figure out at this point. I could be way off base here, but I had to put my two cents worth of an opinion into the mix. I too, would like to see some way for us to separate church and state. These new laws do not accomplish what those who have pushed for them intended.