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I can't help but feel like this was originally a retaliation thread to the one I posted a week ago, which hilariously went off topic just like this one did. I think the Single people here are just like... "SQUIRREL!" and that's totally okay.
Just to be clear, ServantStrike, the things I highlighted in my original post were written by a man who had been widowed. It's transparent that it's not just the women who are noticing and wanting to see these things as a reality.
Personally, I don't expect a prince because I'm no princess. Sure, there are qualities I desire in a mate. I'm human, I will have them. Are they unrealistic? Depends, but let's just say my type isn't the suave, rose-in-teeth hulk of a man who sings me sonnets in Spanish... actually scratch that. I would love that to be my type. Oh, Enrique, you heart breaker, you!
But in all seriousness, nobody is the perfect package. I assume I would love my husband if he sold shoes at ladies Footlocker, so long as he did it with integrity. I would love him if he was shorter than me (That won't be hard to find truthfully), losing his hair, had some chub to share. I'm not Mother Teresa with Barbie's looks, so why would I expect Martin Luther in Ken's body? The least I am asking for is a man who has a desire to know God and have a relationship with Him.
But I stand my ground on the whole initiating thing. I think you misunderstood that. I believe that if a man has feelings for a woman he should make a move instead of hiding and waiting for a celestial sign, meanwhile she ends up choosing the "bad" guy because Scaredy McGee over there waited too long and missed the boat and cries about it. And initiating does NOT in any way mean he has to do the bulk of the work for the rest of the relationship. Not at all! He better not be expected to! All he has to do is start something and the woman will follow his lead and play her part in an equal way. At least that is how I feel about the whole thing.
Just to be clear, ServantStrike, the things I highlighted in my original post were written by a man who had been widowed. It's transparent that it's not just the women who are noticing and wanting to see these things as a reality.
Personally, I don't expect a prince because I'm no princess. Sure, there are qualities I desire in a mate. I'm human, I will have them. Are they unrealistic? Depends, but let's just say my type isn't the suave, rose-in-teeth hulk of a man who sings me sonnets in Spanish... actually scratch that. I would love that to be my type. Oh, Enrique, you heart breaker, you!
But in all seriousness, nobody is the perfect package. I assume I would love my husband if he sold shoes at ladies Footlocker, so long as he did it with integrity. I would love him if he was shorter than me (That won't be hard to find truthfully), losing his hair, had some chub to share. I'm not Mother Teresa with Barbie's looks, so why would I expect Martin Luther in Ken's body? The least I am asking for is a man who has a desire to know God and have a relationship with Him.
But I stand my ground on the whole initiating thing. I think you misunderstood that. I believe that if a man has feelings for a woman he should make a move instead of hiding and waiting for a celestial sign, meanwhile she ends up choosing the "bad" guy because Scaredy McGee over there waited too long and missed the boat and cries about it. And initiating does NOT in any way mean he has to do the bulk of the work for the rest of the relationship. Not at all! He better not be expected to! All he has to do is start something and the woman will follow his lead and play her part in an equal way. At least that is how I feel about the whole thing.
I wonder if a christian who is dating another christian gets jealous(or upset) that the person they are dating has put God first in their relationship, honestly? Sometimes I think when someone says that they just want to date a christian person who loves and has a relationship with God, doesn't really understand what they're asking for- that wasn't directed at you agirlandherguitar, just made me think about of some of the things I've seen.
I think we look for folks who ride the fence. We don't want the christian girl/guy who makes us feel convicted because we compare our spiritual lives to theirs, but we don't want the person who drags us away from God either. So we're left with trying to find someone who fits the profile in the middle of those two. Sounds like being "lukewarm" is the best bet to gain a relationship. Don't be overly christ-like, but don't be a blatant sinner either.lol
I think we look for folks who ride the fence. We don't want the christian girl/guy who makes us feel convicted because we compare our spiritual lives to theirs, but we don't want the person who drags us away from God either. So we're left with trying to find someone who fits the profile in the middle of those two. Sounds like being "lukewarm" is the best bet to gain a relationship. Don't be overly christ-like, but don't be a blatant sinner either.lol
To be fair, I have literally seen guys I know reject a girl because she, well, wasnt attractive enough. I even heard the words "I can do better". Ive seen a girl who I thought was really awesome (tbh with you I kinda wished it was me she liked), who got along great with the guy, fit his personality, really liked him alot, and was a GOOD woman, all because the guys..... wanted a "better looking girl".
So guys can have unfair expectations, too.
I would say there are good men and good women, and bad men and bad women in our world. If you find a good one that fits you and looks for God first, take them! Dont let desires lead you from something wonderful. I mean, isnt that a big part of Christ's teachings?
No one in the world is gonna be EVERYTHING you ever wanted, and being in a couple means giving up some of the things you wanted. But they are just desires that you do probly dont need, so if you have what you need, learn to do without
I actually kinda feel I need a good Christ centered woman to push me harder to be Christ like. I mean, like when I kinda start going for something I dont need, like paying money for selfish things, I would love to have a wife who would ask me "do we really need that?", and had a strong desire to seek God first as well :3
So guys can have unfair expectations, too.
I would say there are good men and good women, and bad men and bad women in our world. If you find a good one that fits you and looks for God first, take them! Dont let desires lead you from something wonderful. I mean, isnt that a big part of Christ's teachings?
No one in the world is gonna be EVERYTHING you ever wanted, and being in a couple means giving up some of the things you wanted. But they are just desires that you do probly dont need, so if you have what you need, learn to do without I actually kinda feel I need a good Christ centered woman to push me harder to be Christ like. I mean, like when I kinda start going for something I dont need, like paying money for selfish things, I would love to have a wife who would ask me "do we really need that?", and had a strong desire to seek God first as well :3
To be fair, I have literally seen guys I know reject a girl because she, well, wasnt attractive enough. I even heard the words "I can do better". Ive seen a girl who I thought was really awesome (tbh with you I kinda wished it was me she liked), who got along great with the guy, fit his personality, really liked him alot, and was a GOOD woman, all because the guys..... wanted a "better looking girl".
So guys can have unfair expectations, too.
I would say there are good men and good women, and bad men and bad women in our world. If you find a good one that fits you and looks for God first, take them! Dont let desires lead you from something wonderful. I mean, isnt that a big part of Christ's teachings? No one in the world is gonna be EVERYTHING you ever wanted, and being in a couple means giving up some of the things you wanted. But they are just desires that you do probly dont need, so if you have what you need, learn to do without
I actually kinda feel I need a good Christ centered woman to push me harder to be Christ like. I mean, like when I kinda start going for something I dont need, like paying money for selfish things, I would love to have a wife who would ask me "do we really need that?", and had a strong desire to seek God first as well :3
So guys can have unfair expectations, too.
I would say there are good men and good women, and bad men and bad women in our world. If you find a good one that fits you and looks for God first, take them! Dont let desires lead you from something wonderful. I mean, isnt that a big part of Christ's teachings?
No one in the world is gonna be EVERYTHING you ever wanted, and being in a couple means giving up some of the things you wanted. But they are just desires that you do probly dont need, so if you have what you need, learn to do without I actually kinda feel I need a good Christ centered woman to push me harder to be Christ like. I mean, like when I kinda start going for something I dont need, like paying money for selfish things, I would love to have a wife who would ask me "do we really need that?", and had a strong desire to seek God first as well :3
I would rather have a wife who feared God and would never try to mislead me than have a "super hot babe" who lived in a life of sin.
Besides, God told us not to even care about looks because He created us, and called us beautiful :3
Looks are earthly and so is money. If you needs are provided for than what else do you even need?
Besides, God told us not to even care about looks because He created us, and called us beautiful :3
Looks are earthly and so is money. If you needs are provided for than what else do you even need?
You may see it that way, but I´m sure here and outside still being romantic men and women, particularly when finding or thinking they got their Mrs or Mr Right. The realistic approach is needed and part of it could be this:
a) You want to be married... Do you want children? but, how many have you got before? (The family economy spins around bills and the load both could bear)
b) You want to be married... Are you ready to that? Have you lived alone for years, payiong the rent and those bills as an adult? (Many married to leave their parents or the way they were raised, my mom is an old example of that fault, and she had no idea what marriage was and had more children she ever planned, so she aborted several times).
The healthy outlook can be faked! I have seen couples who looked healthy and, when they got children, these had babies who lasted no more than a year (my own sister chose wrongly his 1st parner). After that, she chose another, with the look she liked, and that relationship ended up with too many pains for her (and for my mom) and now, her 3 chance, is an average union, but she is making THE BEST to keep it, since she´s reaching her 40 and one of my siblings, after 20 years of marriage, seems to be divorced next year, because both failed and posponed that split, till his wife found another... So, the atractiveness or the wealthy outlook can be faked and disguized too often.
I would recommend several other posts where BISCUIT gave young people tips to avoid a divorce or a cheating. It hurts a lot and, the time I was cheated on, I thought I deserved death and moved closely to it, but that time I saw an English man preaching in a square and his sayings looked too appropriated to me, his words looked as if he knew me and my conditions... So it was the 2nd time I turned to God and the Lordship of Jesus.
I have spoken to dozen of people and what they taught me I received, as a 2nd hand experience, that served me well. I also knew an American who had married for 5 times and, the moment I met him, he was with te latest on, and he endured it to the end... It worths enduring what really worths, not a tale.
a) You want to be married... Do you want children? but, how many have you got before? (The family economy spins around bills and the load both could bear)
b) You want to be married... Are you ready to that? Have you lived alone for years, payiong the rent and those bills as an adult? (Many married to leave their parents or the way they were raised, my mom is an old example of that fault, and she had no idea what marriage was and had more children she ever planned, so she aborted several times).
The healthy outlook can be faked! I have seen couples who looked healthy and, when they got children, these had babies who lasted no more than a year (my own sister chose wrongly his 1st parner). After that, she chose another, with the look she liked, and that relationship ended up with too many pains for her (and for my mom) and now, her 3 chance, is an average union, but she is making THE BEST to keep it, since she´s reaching her 40 and one of my siblings, after 20 years of marriage, seems to be divorced next year, because both failed and posponed that split, till his wife found another... So, the atractiveness or the wealthy outlook can be faked and disguized too often.
I would recommend several other posts where BISCUIT gave young people tips to avoid a divorce or a cheating. It hurts a lot and, the time I was cheated on, I thought I deserved death and moved closely to it, but that time I saw an English man preaching in a square and his sayings looked too appropriated to me, his words looked as if he knew me and my conditions... So it was the 2nd time I turned to God and the Lordship of Jesus.
I have spoken to dozen of people and what they taught me I received, as a 2nd hand experience, that served me well. I also knew an American who had married for 5 times and, the moment I met him, he was with te latest on, and he endured it to the end... It worths enduring what really worths, not a tale.
That´s true! I thank God they did it before being engaged or cheated on...
No one likes another "thing" they´re used to. If you like pina-apple juice no one would force to drink orange juice, because YOU DON¨T LIKE IT and that is the only "thing" you have to drink... That´s fair and I hope EVERYONE knows he/she is liked BEFORE being hurt or lied.
The other part "I actually kinda feel I need a good Christ centered woman to push me harder to be Christ like. I mean, like when I kinda start going for something I dont need, like paying money for selfish things, I would love to have a wife who would ask me "do we really need that?", and had a strong desire to seek God first as well :3"
Really pushed? All in that would be your decision + her acceptance. I havent´ seen that type of woman, just the oppoisite (but IT is Posible).
No one likes another "thing" they´re used to. If you like pina-apple juice no one would force to drink orange juice, because YOU DON¨T LIKE IT and that is the only "thing" you have to drink... That´s fair and I hope EVERYONE knows he/she is liked BEFORE being hurt or lied.
The other part "I actually kinda feel I need a good Christ centered woman to push me harder to be Christ like. I mean, like when I kinda start going for something I dont need, like paying money for selfish things, I would love to have a wife who would ask me "do we really need that?", and had a strong desire to seek God first as well :3"
Really pushed? All in that would be your decision + her acceptance. I havent´ seen that type of woman, just the oppoisite (but IT is Posible).
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I would rather have a wife who feared God and would never try to mislead me than have a "super hot babe" who lived in a life of sin.
Besides, God told us not to even care about looks because He created us, and called us beautiful :3
Looks are earthly and so is money. If you needs are provided for than what else do you even need?
Besides, God told us not to even care about looks because He created us, and called us beautiful :3
Looks are earthly and so is money. If you needs are provided for than what else do you even need?
An avatar, like this, shows me lack of coherence (or a contradiction).
When women say financially secure, I always took that as they can pay their bills, not that they have alot of money. Is that not right?
I dont have alot of money, and I would probly take it pretty offensively to be judged by that But I can provide for myself, and others when I need to (in a minimum wage kinda way), so I kinda imagined Im in the clear there
I dont have alot of money, and I would probly take it pretty offensively to be judged by that
But I can provide for myself, and others when I need to (in a minimum wage kinda way), so I kinda imagined Im in the clear there
It´s not a judgement (i´m not a judge) but I would agree his good taste is similar to mine, yet I wouldn´t use an avatar like that: It would discourage girls/women, same way the avatar I actually use (now).
I believe many girls and ladies here have developed a fine tuned "instinst" to know it for sure.
What I said is said of his behalf, because I also could be judged (and here there´s no judge).
PS
It was like this: "
Originally Posted by Yeraza_Bats
I would rather have a wife who feared God and would never try to mislead me than have a "super hot babe" who lived in a life of sin.
Besides, God told us not to even care about looks because He created us, and called us beautiful :3
Looks are earthly and so is money. If you needs are provided for than what else do you even need? "
I believe many girls and ladies here have developed a fine tuned "instinst" to know it for sure.
What I said is said of his behalf, because I also could be judged (and here there´s no judge).
PS
It was like this: "
Besides, God told us not to even care about looks because He created us, and called us beautiful :3
Looks are earthly and so is money. If you needs are provided for than what else do you even need? "
Im not sure what you mean by my avatar? Its in no way a representation of what I think of women, I just am a big fan of bass guitar and animation, and thought it was a neat avatar. And it kinda expresses what Im into. Haha Im a mid 20 year old male who hangs out on nerdy forums, we generally dont use our pictures as avatars online I have my pic in my profile picture, Im not a perfect looking man so its safe to assume I dont put too much emphasis into looks
I could have a male playing bass I guess, but seeing I check male as my gender and have a pic of myself I dont think of it as much of a big deal
Im really not too concerned with how women look at all, as long as they shower and groom daily
And I dont think it would be in any way wrong for a woman to remind her husband that we can do better for God. men should feel comfortable taking console with their wives, even if they are expected to lead. If a woman notices her husband is leaning a bit in the wrong direction, Im absolutely sure that He would want her to say something.
I have my pic in my profile picture, Im not a perfect looking man so its safe to assume I dont put too much emphasis into looks I could have a male playing bass I guess, but seeing I check male as my gender and have a pic of myself I dont think of it as much of a big deal
Im really not too concerned with how women look at all, as long as they shower and groom daily
And I dont think it would be in any way wrong for a woman to remind her husband that we can do better for God. men should feel comfortable taking console with their wives, even if they are expected to lead. If a woman notices her husband is leaning a bit in the wrong direction, Im absolutely sure that He would want her to say something.