20 and still a virgin!

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shalomandme

Guest
#1
#1
Hi BIC and SIC,

I turned 20 on Monday by His merciful grace and I am so happy. I didn't think I would make it, the temptation has been horrible. I have never kissed a guy nor had a bf. I really do delight in the idea of being with one man. But now I have turned 20 and near graduation I wonder where my husband is, where we will meet and if I will be rid of all my bad habits before he arrives.

Sometimes I wonder if I am even beautiful because no guy has ever asked me out you know :-( I don't know. But I'll continue to serve God.

Any words of encouragement?
 
shae0104

shae0104

Banned
#2
Jun 21, 2011
545
7
0
#2
ya keep reading ur Bible and keep god ur rock
I work in an area where I see girls ur age or younger who don't gave christ who don't think high of themselves who don't have self preservation. But what they do have are 2 and 3 kids. oh they also don't have a high school diploma and no direction. I was 26 when I had my first boyfriend so don't feel like u are unattractive,you are beautiful. Also don't jump for joy at the first person that pays attention to u. remember God's word. I see lots who pray on young ladies like you tell you what you wanna hear just to get what they want. so be EXCITED that you are set apart.
 
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jonrambo

Guest
#3
#3
HERE I AM! lol jokes but I hope you find him and he appreciates ll your hard work! :) hes a lucky bloke
 
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Stuey

Senior Member
#4
Aug 17, 2009
892
4
18
#4
Good on you and don't stress! :) Plenty of time yet...
 
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SeatBelt

Guest
#5
#5
Congrats! May God bless you richly for your faithfulness, in this world or the next. May you continue to be faithful and see it ever as the honor that it is to both you and our King.
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#6
#6
I'm proud of you....it's so hard to do that in this day and age. I'm 27 and unmarried but honestly I wish I would have never started. Hang in there, Your husband will come along eventually. And just because nobody has ever asked you out does not mean your not beautiful. I have a friend that's a little older than you and I think she's drop dead gorgeous.......She says she's never been asked out or had a boyfriend either. I couldn't believe it when she said it. I think the problem is with the guys in the Church honestly......they could also be intimidated by your beauty or just plain scared to ask you.
 
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OceanGrl

Guest
#7
#7
You're only 20, why are you worrying about a husband now? I'm 21, so I'm right there with you in age. I think it's important to want to do the right thing by waiting until marriage for sex, which you are doing, but you shouldn't focus so much on finding a husband right now. Focus on maturing in Christ and in knowledge of life (school, life experiences, etc.). A husband will come, but that shouldn't be your only focus. Try to make friends with good Christian guys and girls and hang out in groups, this could be a way of finding someone that you are interested in and that friendship could bloom in to something more with time.
 
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paulr

Guest
#8
#8
Well, its definitely not easy. I share the same feeling being a guy while seeing all friends going around. But yes, i know the wait will be worth it. ...:D. With me i did try though...but dint work out...:p
 
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AmmiAmmiel

Guest
#9
#9
The more you focus on your wants rather than The Lord's, the more you'll be disappointed,.. I can't tell you how many times I've been so selfish and not trying to do what God wants me to do. "Well what is it that God wants me to do?", to trust in Him and do His Will. "What is His will for me?" God's will for us is very clear, it is to love Him with all our mind, body, spirit and strength. If we're so set on expecting to love someone else, we will never be satisfied. Love God more than anyone and He will bring you all that is necessary to be loved.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#10
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
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#10
You know why I know you are beautiful? Because you love the Lord our God, and you want to serve Him with all your heart, even though your flesh desires something else. That is beautiful.

I've never been asked on a date, either. Does that make me less beautiful or valuable to God? Not at all! Is it hard? Yes. When you (general you) see people around you your age (or younger!) all having boyfriends/girlfriends and getting engaged left and right, it makes you feel left out and think, "Well there must be something wrong with me, then." Getting into that mindset is dangerous. Trust me, I've been there. It's dangerous to yourself and to your relationship with God.

In regards to wanting to get rid of your bad habits before you meet your future husband, that's honorable and a good thing to strive for, but also realize that no one is perfect. I know that's a cop out, but really, don't expect to have all your ducks in a row before you meet someone, and don't expect your future guy to, either. ;) We all have struggles, and the thing about a relationship is that you have to learn to help one another with theirs.

Stay strong, friend. :)
 
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paulr

Guest
#11
#11
AmmiAmmiel said:
T "What is His will for me?" God's will for us is very clear, it is to love Him with all our mind, body, spirit and strength.
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Absolutely. I always feel we sin because we do not follow this commandment correctly. Life and decisions in life become simpler, if we start living as per this commandment. Works for me too....:D Especially in weak times.
 
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AmmiAmmiel

Guest
#12
#12
paulr said:
Absolutely. I always feel we sin because we do not follow this commandment correctly. Life and decisions in life become simpler, if we start living as per this commandment. Works for me too....:D Especially in weak times.
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Indeed[: having the faith that God is in control of everything (including our salvation) is what reassures us. It's what makes us strong. The more people want to be in control, the more things go wrong. I'm a strong believer that if God wants something for us, it's going to happen whether we like it or not. In this case, it's good to keep in mind that it may not be His will for us to be married. His will triumphs ours so we much accept every possibility.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#13
#13
When i was 18 i got attracted to this girl. She was decent looking, but not the type of girl most guys would go after. She was plain, a little heavier, no makeup, didn't do her hair, she was quiet, conservative. She told me the only guys that did show her interest were just trying to get her in bed. I got to know this girl over a number of months, we became best friends and were together every chance we got. Though when i first met her i thought she was cute at best, but as i got to know her i started seeing her as very pretty. I did fall in love with her. I think it was my first time genuinely being in love. Sadly, things did not work out. But the point is, there is always someone out there who will see you as beautiful. Maybe you are the kind of girl lots of guys chase after, but that's good. That means less fake guys to sift through and when someone does show interest they'll be more likely to be genuine.
Also, you're still young. The push to marry is cultural, not spiritual. Ignore culture and don't put so much pressure on to marry. Just learn to live your life, enjoy yourself, your friends and the things you enjoy. Grow in your walk and let it just happen.
 
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Perseus

Guest
#14
#14
The title says "20 and still a virgin! :(" as if it's a bad thing. That's what the world would say. But you're not of the world, are you?

You're a Christian. That's actually pretty impressive and will be highly valued by the right guy as a sign of your discipline and virtue.

This title should read, "20 and still a virgin :)" triumphantly! Congrats OP, stay strong in the faith.
 
WhiteWolfOfTheBlackForest

WhiteWolfOfTheBlackForest

Banned
#15
Mar 1, 2013
176
1
0
#15
Good for you sister, keep your heart and mind set on God and may He continue to bless you in your journey in life!

Do not worry about the desires of the world, you are still young, when the time is right you will find your other half. Also, please change that sad face to a smile :)
 
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Tintin

Guest
#16
#16
29 and still a virgin. By God's grace not mine, although it's been easier than it otherwise might have been if I was God's gift to women.
 
SeanS

SeanS

Banned
#17
Jan 14, 2013
124
0
0
#17
shalomandme said:
Hi BIC and SIC,

I have never kissed a guy nor had a bf. I really do delight in the idea of being with one man.
Any words of encouragement?
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This is AMAZING. If you stay that way, Your husband will be one blessed man.
 
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jimmydiggs

Guest
#18
#18
20 year old virgin, never dated, etc, reporting in.
 
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kessy001

Guest
#19
#19
Hi Shalomandme,
I am 29 going on 30 in 2weeks and am proud to be a virgin! Though marriage was far from my mind at age 20, i always thought i will be married by now, but am not. Was in serious relationship for a long time and i held on just so i could get married early. but it didnt work. I had to let go and let God. Right now am totally 'sold out' to Christ n everyday i rejoice in the plans He has for me and i experience His love even more.

It's hard to be a virgin in the kinda society we live in, but hold on and be proud of who you are. there's nothing shameful about being a virgin. Trust me at the right time, God would bring the right man for you. I totally agree with ugly, The push to marry is cultural, not spiritual. So for now focus on improving your self and being a blessing to the people around you.

I hope it makes you feel better that you're not alone.:D
 
TheAristocat

TheAristocat

Senior Member
#20
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
26
0
#20
shalomandme said:
Hi BIC and SIC,

I turned 20 on Monday by His merciful grace and I am so happy. I didn't think I would make it, the temptation has been horrible. I have never kissed a guy nor had a bf. I really do delight in the idea of being with one man. But now I have turned 20 and near graduation I wonder where my husband is, where we will meet and if I will be rid of all my bad habits before he arrives.

Sometimes I wonder if I am even beautiful because no guy has ever asked me out you know :-( I don't know. But I'll continue to serve God.

Any words of encouragement?
Click to expand...
Encouragement? I'm 27 and I'm still a virgin. Only had one girlfriend in my life, too. It's going to be rough. lol
 
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