Christians only please. Question: Do you attract

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Art05

Guest
#81
#81
Attract? Pffff. Don't make me laugh.

There aren't any Christian girls my age here, where I live and attend church! Weird, I know. Sounds like I'm exaggerating, I know. But I'm not. I'm really, really not.

lol Well, I actually never meet ladies my own age. Now that I think about it, I don't. That's ... even weirder.

But, if I do, I don't attract anyone, to answer your question; saved or not saved. Oh well.

It's because I'm not Ryan Gosling's twin lol. It's because I'm not built; it's because my face isn't ... very attractive; it's because I don't have a nice butt. All of those.

I'm also kind of boring. But, what can you do. I read the Bible too much, and they don't want to talk about the Bible (it's not like we're in church, or something!) Can't talk about video games (girls don't like 'em), or books (those boring things), or even anime or manga (if there are girls that like that, then I've never seen them lol).

God's will? This, this is God's will for my life?
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#82
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
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#82
Art05 said:
I'm also kind of boring. But, what can you do. I read the Bible too much, and they don't want to talk about the Bible (it's not like we're in church, or something!) Can't talk about video games (girls don't like 'em), or books (those boring things), or even anime or manga (if there are girls that like that, then I've never seen them lol).
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There are girls out there who like those things. For example, I like talking about the Bible, video games, and books. I also don't really care for Ryan Gosling.

My point is that not all girls are the same. Just as not all guys are the same. Sometimes it feels that way, because a majority of them may be similar. However, sometimes I remind myself that surely there is someone out there who enjoys the same things I do; not that I want someone exactly the same, not at all, but we do need to at least be able to mesh.

Gah, I don't know what I'm trying to get at anymore. Basically, don't lose hope. :)

Edited to add: Sometimes I feel boring, too, I get that. I think because the things I like doing are typically just for one person, like reading or drawing. I think it'd be great to find another "boring" person like me and we can read and draw and be boring together. :p Though I do have fun dates in mind, I'm not saying I'm boring/a loner ALL the time...

Yeah, I'm just gonna stop typing now. :)
 
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Tintin

Guest
#83
#83
rachelsedge said:
There are girls out there who like those things. For example, I like talking about the Bible, video games, and books. I also don't really care for Ryan Gosling.

My point is that not all girls are the same. Just as not all guys are the same. Sometimes it feels that way, because a majority of them may be similar. However, sometimes I remind myself that surely there is someone out there who enjoys the same things I do; not that I want someone exactly the same, not at all, but we do need to at least be able to mesh.

Gah, I don't know what I'm trying to get at anymore. Basically, don't lose hope. :)
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Sorry, Rachel. I just find that hilarious. Even I like Ryan Gosling, just not in the romantic sense!
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#84
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#84
*googling Ryan Gosling*

Ooohhh, THAT guy... Hmmm.
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#85
#85
There isnt a specific type that I attract when it comes to ''crushes'', but the guys that have developed deeper feelings or interest for me are usually kind of geeky or intellectual (and that's also the type I like). However, that has only happened like two or three times since most end up dissapointed when they find out I actually like to talk about more than shoes or superficial topics. It seems not everyone appreciates in depth conversations. Sometimes I think I give mixed signals. I can talk about simple, daily issues and I enjoy it, but I also like analyzing whatever's going on in the world, and take a conversation deeper. I like knowing more, asking questions, wether they sociological, theological or anything, and hearing opinions. What I think happens is that I attract guys who are fine with talking about simple stuff, which I'm fine with too, but if I try to take it a step further, they run away. Hence, only a few guys end up interested in who I really am.
 
CatHerder

CatHerder

Senior Member
#86
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
#86
Chey60 said:
Do you attract the wrong people constantly?

I attract Too short
and keep in mind I am 5'9" and with heels I am close to 6 ft. so too short is an issue. :)
too old, too young, atheist, agnostic or backslidden or lukewarmers (the ones who are like 95% christian
but they want to sleep with a woman on the 5th date)

I probably could name more things but I am just curious if the rest of you, male and female as christians
notice that the types of people you attract are usually wrong for you completely? or that you are also wrong for? :)
(I'll check answers later tonight.. I have fellowship/study meeting)
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There are about a gazillion things to respond to in this thread that I missed in my short "vacation" from CC, but I'll just address the OP:

I can only address the few women which I have dated since my separation/divorce.

D: met in a Divorce Care class. Went out with a group only as "friends" going out because I felt that since I was technically only separated at the time and not divorced, I had no business dating. She was fun, but a little bit forward. No thank you.

T: Was on the worship team with me around the time that news came out about my divorce. On a rare occasion that I was singing instead of playing the horn or keyboard, she jumped around during a peppy interlude - her "girls" were not very well supported and she was just inches from me. I later asked her friend about this. She told me that T was "excited" that I was back on the market. I felt stupid and naive.

B: My first "date" since the divorce. Also very aggressive. I nicknamed her the "Ear Biter." No thank you. Besides, she kept dissin' her ex, which told me that she wasn't over him yet.

P: A friend I have known for about 20 years...a wonderful Christian lady. We've always "clicked" very well in discussions and musical events. About the same time that the reality of my divorce hit me, she and her husband separated. Their separation was short lived...but long enough for me to have let my guard down. I developed a huge crush on her, but have never expressed these feelings to her - and never intend to. I wondered if my feelings were really love, or just a crush, and if there really is a difference. I decided that it was love. And If I really loved her, then I would want what was best for her, which was the man she is already married to. I began praying for their marriage, which hurt like hell for several months. He has been very supportive through a cancer ordeal. This seems to have brought them closer together. We've been out of touch for several months, which is probably for the best. I wish them well.

C: A wonderful woman, though not a Christian. Though acknowledging that she has certain desires, is less aggressive and more feminine than some of the "Christian" women above. If she were a believer, I would definitely invest in the relationship. She digs me and is an awesome musician to boot!

D2: Another great believer. I think she may be attracted to me, but it's not mutual. Too bad, because she's really cute!

I guess I attract all types of women - - does that mean I'm well rounded? I think the more aggressive women like me because I'm fairly easy going. It doesn't last though because:

a) I really don't like that personality in a woman, and
b) they mistake an easy going nature for weakness.

Most people seem to think strong = loud. I tend to think that loud just = obnoxious. One can be strong and quiet.

I do like strong women though. I just think that most women think they can't be feminine and strong at the same time.

In the years since my separation (separated for four years before being divorced for three years now), I went from being repulsed by the idea of a relationship, to not minding if I had one, to thinking it might be nice some day. I'm still focusing my energies on raising my kids though. Maybe when I am serious about looking, I'll discover that there has been one awesome, strong godly woman who has been there all along.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#89
#89
Drive is really good but has some seriously intense violence at times.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#90
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#90
Ha! Ha! I need to use some heels... I´m 5.5" and those are not my likes. Ha! Ha!
 
C

ckbones

Guest
#91
#91
Thank you Chey for posting this question.. I keep running in to guys that present well but then you see that they are serving GOD in there own way. (and they've been this way for years). Due to something that happen that they can't get past or can't forgive I like the way MissCris put it... "Ah... Well Hmmm I See" that's exactly how I feel all the time. smh!!
 
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xAlphaOmega

Guest
#92
#92
I seem to attract homosexual men... Barf*

Case in point, I used to chat on a mobile dating site called AirG, and my mail, though seldomly active would be filled with gay men 4 out of 5 times.
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#93
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#93
Tintin said:
Drive is really good but has some seriously intense violence at times.
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i know...it was pretty sweet. p.s. i know some people have issues with violence but it never bothered me
 
UndRenovation

UndRenovation

Member
#94
Oct 28, 2009
54
2
0
#94
I often attract woman who had been married and their x partners were really both physical and mentally abusive towards them. Then I find out that the abuse(mental) is still going on and sometimes they are only separated but not divorced and this is usually because of stubbornness. It usually ends with them thanking me that I have made them want to pursue god more lol. I guess you could say that's attracting the wrong type of person, but I am pretty sure God always has a plan in those situations and all involved grow in some way.

The great thing about your situation Chey, is that because of your standards and that your not willing to compromise, especially when it comes the important stuff is that you can plant seeds while they are trying to do their thing. Its possible that you, or things about you will forever attract guys that are not your type but I while that is happening there is always opportunities for God to do stuff. So why not have a pile of bibles or other books, numbers for churches and information for local men's ministries ready and available.
 
L

Lbp

Guest
#95
#95
I seem to attract men that I know are not right for me. It's like I know it almost instantly but I hang with the situation simply because, I hate to admit this, but I thrive on the attention. I am really struggling with giving all of this to God. I have no idea what to do except to pray for strength and the wisdom to fight temptation. As in the attention thing which isn't real.
 
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KatyAD

Guest
#96
#96
Yes, I have attracted....older men. I'm 31 and i dont know why.
-Katy
 
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