age differences in relationships

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just_monicat

Senior Member
#42
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
17
0
#42
MrHonest said:
Not to insult anyone but dating seems weird to me now. I know that dating depends on where you grow up: some places date some places don't. So as I read the bible a lot of devout believers didn't "date" and the bible never talks about their love life in detail. I know its hard to explain where the limits in dating begin and end but when you look at the examples of our ancestors its more of a friendship thing and once you've been friends long enough you "just know" this friend of mine is the one I "want."
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i'm not sure when christians decided that the term dating is not christian. while i'm not a fan of labels in general, i especially hate that dating has been stolen to mean something perpetually purposeless and primarily for reasons that serve only the world's interests or intentions. i'm pretty sure that dating came into vogue while it was still considered a synonym of courtship.

i'm not a big fan of the word courtship either. it sounds way too... prarie dress and butter churn.

however, if i say "my friend and i hung out together this weekend, ate dinner and played scrabble" that might infer something different, especially for the purposes of this forum.

sigh.
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#43
#43
MrHonest said:
...Its more about what you need than what age, likes, or any detail you want. And you have to make sure it does not affect your or their relationship with God. Of course God won't set you up with someone you won't get along with but you know what I'm saying, I hope.
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Well, if God were to "set you up with someone," then 100% of those couples would never divorce, would they? After all, God never makes a mistake. Why, then, do you suppose some godly spouses do end up in divorce court by default of the "cheating" spouse?

Have you considered that even when things go wrong for a saint, God is still there attending to him/her, building him/her in the most precious faith? ...just saying :)
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#44
Aug 2, 2009
24,646
4,305
113
#44
just_monicat said:
i'm not sure when christians decided that the term dating is not christian. while i'm not a fan of labels in general, i especially hate that dating has been stolen to mean something perpetually purposeless and primarily for reasons that serve only the world's interests or intentions. i'm pretty sure that dating came into vogue while it was still considered a synonym of courtship.

i'm not a big fan of the word courtship either. it sounds way too... prarie dress and butter churn.

however, if i say "my friend and i hung out together this weekend, ate dinner and played scrabble" that might infer something different, especially for the purposes of this forum.

sigh.
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Don't you know that dating is evil? Just like sex and loud music. :p

plugears1.jpg
 
B

BananaPie

Guest
#45
#45

This is why Baptists prefer swings so that it won't lead to dancing. :rolleyes: :p
 
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Tintin

Guest
#47
#47
rachelsedge said:
I've never dated so I can't say from experience, but if he's got more in common in relating to things with my dad than with me, he might be too old for me. :) I adore my dad and it is a requirement that my father approve of and get along with whatever man comes into my life. However, as much as I'd like to say age doesn't matter, I'm not sure I could bring myslef to date someone only a little younger than my parents. I'm not going to say a cutoff, because "who knows", but I am saying that it would take a lot of thought, consideration, and persuasion, and even then, I may not go for it.
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Rachel, that's perfectly respectable. I too love my parents, but there's no way on God's green earth that I'd marry someone in the mid-50s to early 60's age group.
 
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IloveyouGod

Guest
#48
#48
Yes Monica, I also felt that if you are asking the question, then there's something that's not sitting well with you. N' it could be very small thing. But I'm glad you got your answers and you're adding to our answers with your own opinion and feeling towards this. After all, YOU are the one in the situation, so you feel it and understand it better than any of us because everyone's case is different even if it shows from the outside they're the same, they're still different. :)


just_monicat said:
upon further reflection, i've concluded that i've allowed myself to buy into the idea that i need some validation or even (daresay) permission to do something, in which no real red flags exist at this time. however, when things don't look the way you think they ought to, it's not uncommon to shake it, question it, and even light it on fire to see what happens.

i think i've been doing a skosh of that.

what you all shared was helpful and i appreciate it. i just need to get over myself. : )
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JER-MYSTER

Guest
#49
#49
Oh what one would'nt give to find "true love" ... but there are limits in age difference which will be most likely a limiting factor. We all go thru phases in life as we age and being in sync is a critical aspect in not establishing but maintaining a long lasting relationship. Just my personal thoughts but there are always exceptions!
 
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ww_21

Guest
#50
#50
secularhermit said:
I guess you ment: "My age GAP 5 years older than I am.". I thought it was my dislexya solely, but I see there is a technical problem some people had in common.
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hehe actually i meant "cap" as in to to stop right there, never go beyond, like put a cap on it. The limit is 5 years older than I am. I would date someone older than I am but not younger, probably not my own age either, at least 3 years older than I am but 5 years older is perfect. I didn't know you are dyslexic, so am I.
 
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akrick

Guest
#51
#51
Well, I guess I am getting sentimental in my old age :) and I found this while I was looking at some Washington Irving stuff :) so I thought I would put it here. It doesn't seem to be predicated on the ages of the participants but I do agree with Jer-myster. There are some practical limitations...
Womans-Heart-Has-Different.jpg
 
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Tintin

Guest
#52
#52
Sorry, all I can think of when I see that picture is to tell the woman to fall asleep somewhere safer. There's a dangerous storm brewing on the horizon!
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#54
#54
Tintin said:
Sorry, all I can think of when I see that picture is to tell the woman to fall asleep somewhere safer. There's a dangerous storm brewing on the horizon!
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Love takes the heart by storm, Tintin. Riding the storm out is worth it. ;)
 
A

akrick

Guest
#55
#55
Tintin said:
Sorry, all I can think of when I see that picture is to tell the woman to fall asleep somewhere safer. There's a dangerous storm brewing on the horizon!
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Every time I read your post I bust out laughing... ;) ;) ;)

Thanks, Tintin :)
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#56
#56
What's even funnier is that you've read Tintin's post more than once. :p
 
lil_christian

lil_christian

Senior Member
#57
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
48
27
#57
rachelsedge said:
I've never dated so I can't say from experience, but if he's got more in common in relating to things with my dad than with me, he might be too old for me. :) I adore my dad and it is a requirement that my father approve of and get along with whatever man comes into my life. However, as much as I'd like to say age doesn't matter, I'm not sure I could bring myslef to date someone only a little younger than my parents. I'm not going to say a cutoff, because "who knows", but I am saying that it would take a lot of thought, consideration, and persuasion, and even then, I may not go for it.
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That's how I feel. Though for me, whenever I do date, if I ever do, I don't want to date anyone younger than me. I'm already ahead in age as it is...and I just don't like the thought of it. Don't ask me why.
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#59
#59
...what's our age difference again? :rolleyes:
 
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JER-MYSTER

Guest
#60
#60
Just define the variables in the equation and I'll work it out for you ... yeah right!
 
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