All you single men out there. Kill the lust! Let's sharpen some Iron.

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Chey60

Guest
#21
This is a tricky issue. I heard young women say things like "if he isnt looking at my 'certain body parts' he must be gay or weird or something". Women are not helping us guys. I guess I'm not talking about Christian women that are supposed to think differently right now, but still. Its actually very difficult to find young women who would be attracted to the fact that you want to remain a virgin until marriage. Most of them will think youre a loser and nobody wants you. You have to admit I'm right unless you have been living on another planet somewhere.

There are certain ideas and expectations and stereotypes in 90% of Western society (I don't think Christians realize what kind of minority they are) These ideas are not Christian and they are not helping. Just turn on any TV channel and you will see what I mean. Kids in high school are bombarded with these ideas daily. 90% of their peers think if you want to remain a virgin until marriage you are the biggest loser in the world. Do parents understand that kids go through this stuff on a daily basis? Have they forgotten their own childhood?

Whoa.. whatever women you have run into that would not want you to remain a virgin until you are married or at least abstain until you are married are not the christian single women I know!
these must be carnal christians (and yes there are about 75"% of those in the church according to scripture)

The women I know who are single and christian believe in being celibate.. and not enticing their future mate..
I know a couple who went without touching eachother AT ALL (kissing and hand holding as well) for 5 years!
5 YEARS!
lol
it's about loving the other person and treating the other person as a sister or brother in christ even if you are interested romantically..
Gosh I hope you attend a bible believing church..cause if you don't there's your first issue:) no support!

BTW it also helps to not compromise in your TV watching or video games.. sex sells and you are an alcoholic when it comes to that..
or at least should consider yourself one. I honestly change the channel if I see something I know I shouldn't be looking at..well I dvr everything then I can fast forward... or turn it off completely if it's bad..

there is still alot in "be careful little eyes what you see" You are God's little boy..so remember that when you are watching stuff too :) He is watching it with you..
 
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AlwaysBlessed

Guest
#22
I will definitely participate in the prayer brothers!!
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#23
For any guys reading this and saying, "oh I'll pray about it." or "I'll pray for you." Less talking, more doing. We know of the ladies praying for us, be a man, and jump into the discussions. Heck, it doesn't matter if we're even talking about painted ladies loitering the streets of a cesspool of filth. Anything you struggle and battle with, join the group, get it off your chest, and let's help each other. Praying alone, in and of itself is only a stepping stone, God is calling you forth into action, and you can use other guys to vent to, and gain wisdom and counsel from. The more counsel you get, the less likely you are to fail.

...Wow, I really wanted to leave a smart alec comic and got all preachy instead, how did that happen? O.O
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#24
This is a tricky issue. I heard young women say things like "if he isnt looking at my 'certain body parts' he must be gay or weird or something"
...
There are certain ideas and expectations and stereotypes in 90% of Western society (I don't think Christians realize what kind of minority they are) These ideas are not Christian and they are not helping.

You can fix that very easily. Just tell a woman "you look beautiful." If they demand you stare at their lady parts after that then you calmly tell them they aren't acting Christ like and you want a Christ centered woman.

Tell them that you are perfectly capable of acting like a dirty old man - after you're married, and even then only with your future spouse. That should elicit a laugh too, so a win-win.

I think it's not so much a sexual issue as maybe ya'll are missing something in your lives that the sexual desire fulfills..
it's not that different for some women either...
whether it's sexual desire (that comforts sometimes) or comfort food ;)
and unfortunately for the married it's even more considered idolatry...etc .. sexual intimacy is for the two of you to be one...
and the pressure it puts on the wives to be like those things you see on screen that are totally like not what it's really like or about, makes them feel unloved, undesirable and unfulfilled in that part of their lives.. it also awakens a spirit within your marriage that can result in one or both of you cheating etc...
Once it's there, and it is so prevalent with internet access these days, since it cannot be unseen, undone or unthought about.. this is something that can permeate the mind and cause such bondage..
it draws you in and you often cannot resist..
Well, the psychological data on it isn't very solid yet (studying the male sex drive isn't very popular, only the female drive), but there is limited evidence to suggest that men have a hormonal cycle too (just not a time of the month). The number I've seen tossed around is 72 hours - but from what I've read, it varies by person. There is a sort of drop dead zone where if something hasn't happened for a while, it can literally cause physical discomfort (there are slang terms out there for that - but it's like a dull ache in a very sensitive area). If you push past that zone your body eventually compensates and it's not nearly as bad (I can speak from experience on that one). But, most guys throw in the towel and say well, this is what I am and I can't change it.

So, there is a physiological component to this as well. But it can be squelched just like any other urge or addiction. But squelching it (just like any other addiction) usually means you just can't do it at all (ever met an ex alcoholic who could stop at just one drink - they are few and far between)? I think married guys in a loveless marriage actually have it worse. That occasional excursion gets them all revved up and then there is this huge dry spell again. The answer is something or nothing, not something every few months. Ladies take note of that one, it's a huge source of temptation for a man - cut off his man cave privileges or even his food privileges before you cut off his marriage bed privileges.

For any guys reading this and saying, "oh I'll pray about it." or "I'll pray for you." Less talking, more doing. We know of the ladies praying for us, be a man, and jump into the discussions. Heck, it doesn't matter if we're even talking about painted ladies loitering the streets of a cesspool of filth. Anything you struggle and battle with, join the group, get it off your chest, and let's help each other. Praying alone, in and of itself is only a stepping stone, God is calling you forth into action, and you can use other guys to vent to, and gain wisdom and counsel from. The more counsel you get, the less likely you are to fail.

...Wow, I really wanted to leave a smart alec comic and got all preachy instead, how did that happen? O.O
Again, it's MAN TIME. For CHRIST!


You guys should all be busting down the doors. We won't judge you, we'll help you. And if you don't need help, there are always those who do. Let's do this.
 

Enow

Banned
Dec 21, 2012
2,901
39
0
#25
When dealing with lusts, know what is feeding it. If it is comics, get rid of it. If it is the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustreated, get rid of it. If it is a TV show or a Victoria's Secret commercial; don't watch it anymore; flip the channel; . If it is looking at someone... ask Jesus for help to look elsewhere and think about something else.

Trust Jesus to remind us that He is very aware of what we are thinking: God judged the word with the flood once: He knows!

Galatians 5:[SUP]13 [/SUP]For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. [SUP]14 [/SUP]For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Galatians 5:[SUP]19 [/SUP]Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication ( which is sex before marriage...), uncleanness ( which is masturbation), lasciviousness ( which is sexual excessiveness or sex on the mind alot), [SUP]20 [/SUP]Idolatry ( which can be applied to pornography ), witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, [SUP]21 [/SUP]Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

How's that for motivation to go before that throne of grace for His help in times of need? Salvation is not at stake, but remaining as that vessel unto honour in His House is, so may every one that name the name of Christ depart from iniquity.

1 Corinthians 10:1Moreover, brethren, I would not that ye should be ignorant, how that all our fathers were under the cloud, and all passed through the sea; [SUP]2 [/SUP]And were all baptized unto Moses in the cloud and in the sea; [SUP]3 [/SUP]And did all eat the same spiritual meat; [SUP]4 [/SUP]And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock was Christ. [SUP]5 [/SUP]But with many of them God was not well pleased: for they were overthrown in the wilderness. [SUP]6 [/SUP]Now these things were our examples, to the intent we should not lust after evil things, as they also lusted. [SUP]7 [/SUP]Neither be ye idolaters, as were some of them; as it is written, The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play. [SUP]8 [/SUP]Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand. [SUP]9 [/SUP]Neither let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed of serpents. [SUP]10 [/SUP]Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer. [SUP]11 [/SUP]Now all these things happened unto them for examples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come. [SUP]12 [/SUP]Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. [SUP]13 [/SUP]There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. [SUP]14 [/SUP]Wherefore, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry.

1 John 2:[SUP]15 [/SUP]Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. [SUP]16 [/SUP]For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. [SUP]17 [/SUP]And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

Hebrews 12:1Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, [SUP]2 [/SUP]Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

1 Corinthians 9:[SUP]24 [/SUP]Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. [SUP]25 [/SUP]And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. [SUP]26 [/SUP]I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: [SUP]27 [/SUP]But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.

2 Corinthians 10:[SUP]4 [/SUP](For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) [SUP]5 [/SUP]Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; [SUP]6 [/SUP]And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. [SUP]7 [/SUP]Do ye look on things after the outward appearance? if any man trust to himself that he is Christ's, let him of himself think this again, that, as he is Christ's, even so are we Christ's.

Philippians 4:[SUP]5 [/SUP]Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. [SUP]6 [/SUP]Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. [SUP]7 [/SUP]And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. [SUP]8 [/SUP]Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. [SUP]9 [/SUP]Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

Philippians 1:[SUP]6 [/SUP]Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:....And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; [SUP]10 [/SUP]That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ. [SUP]11 [/SUP]Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.

1 John 3:[SUP]3 [/SUP]And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.

We can't always be there for one another when we need to, but Jesus Christ can because He is with us always.

Colossians 1:[SUP]27 [/SUP]To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory: [SUP]28 [/SUP]Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus:

2 Timothy 4:[SUP]18 [/SUP]And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#26
Fireproof had it's heart in the right place but I'm sick of poorly-acted, poorly-scripted Christian movies. And you can't make a PG movie that honestly deals with the topics of pornography and lust. Everyone seems to recommend the movie but I've seen it, and while it has some good stuff, the struggle just didn't seem real.
 

Enow

Banned
Dec 21, 2012
2,901
39
0
#27
Fireproof had it's heart in the right place but I'm sick of poorly-acted, poorly-scripted Christian movies. And you can't make a PG movie that honestly deals with the topics of pornography and lust. Everyone seems to recommend the movie but I've seen it, and while it has some good stuff, the struggle just didn't seem real.
Not sure one can make it too real unless the movie causes a brother to stumble. I do not recall the movie right now, but I have seen it.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#28
Not sure one can make it too real unless the movie causes a brother to stumble. I do not recall the movie right now, but I have seen it.
No, no. Not in terms of showing the images or anything like that, but the real, honest struggle men have with lust. Also, they should ditch the Hallmark lighting, while they're at it.
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#29
So what would make it more REALISTIC?
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#30
Liamson, and TinTin, have you seen Flight? (ok I shared this in the men's discussion, so what?). Anyway, it didn't deal with porn specifically, but there was definitely a lot in it that any addict could identify with. Rather than just looking at the outward struggle (which, let's be honest, just looks like complete stupidity), you get more of a view of the internal struggles, and all the pain and agony the addiction was causing.

Though I will forewarn people that it IS rated R, but if you can see it edited, I highly recommend it.
 
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Chey60

Guest
#31
Servant strike... I totally agree.. Women get it too..
And tbh since scriptures say our bodies are not ours but our husbands if we are married, manipulation by refusing marital relationship IMO is sinful.
I think there are certain times that you might have to wait. Tom time.. But other than that no.. don't withhold.. Same guys goes for husband. But it's not an excuse to sin. Just pray together in everything.. :)
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#32
Liamson, and TinTin, have you seen Flight? (ok I shared this in the men's discussion, so what?). Anyway, it didn't deal with porn specifically, but there was definitely a lot in it that any addict could identify with. Rather than just looking at the outward struggle (which, let's be honest, just looks like complete stupidity), you get more of a view of the internal struggles, and all the pain and agony the addiction was causing.

Though I will forewarn people that it IS rated R, but if you can see it edited, I highly recommend it.
actually at the recommendation of a fellow CCer who i will not name I did see it. And yes it deals with addiction in a gritty way BUT....

It was kind of blown way out of proportion too.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#33
No, I haven't seen Flight. Is that the fairly recent movie with Denzel Washington? I might check it out sometime. Thanks, Zao. :)
 
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zaoman32

Guest
#34
No, I haven't seen Flight. Is that the fairly recent movie with Denzel Washington? I might check it out sometime. Thanks, Zao. :)
Yeah pretty recent. Personally I didn't feel like it was blown way out of proportion. I could relate to the character in a lot of ways.
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#35
So what would make it more REALISTIC?
Can they turn it into a war movie?

Just substitute tracer rounds overhead for pornography.

Servant strike... I totally agree.. Women get it too..
And tbh since scriptures say our bodies are not ours but our husbands if we are married, manipulation by refusing marital relationship IMO is sinful.
I think there are certain times that you might have to wait. Tom time.. But other than that no.. don't withhold.. Same guys goes for husband. But it's not an excuse to sin. Just pray together in everything.. :)
This is true. I hear there is that dreaded six week time period after childbirth. But... I'm assuming people are too tired to care any ways.
 
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
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#36
This is true. I hear there is that dreaded six week time period after childbirth. But... I'm assuming people are too tired to care any ways.
Only the new mothers are too tired. :p The father is never too tired. And the baby is wide awake.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#37
A war-on-lust movie would be great! Swords and guns and other weapons. I'm thinking an action-packed psychological thriller. Introspective but not art-house. None of this "Fireproof" stuff.
 
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TJ91

Guest
#38
@eugenius so here is was the deal for me i couldn't stop because i felt guilt for what i had done and i didn't not forgive my self nor did i truly believe i would stop. but i was able to forgive my self when my pastor convinced me that God has already forgiven me. Hes just waiting for me to forgive myself and wondering when the heck i want to start receiving the medicine.

i have been clean i think for a month now haven't really been keeping track but it is hard i live in a house for single military christian men and as hard as it was i told them of my addiction and we have come up with a system to help me stop. when every i get an erg or the thought i cry out for help like this "HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then all the guys come down to the basement im my room and jump in the air and tackle me screaming dont do it. afterword we all laugh as i can breath because a pile of 180 lbs men are on top of me. And i know it will work this time and here is why usually with these things God is ONLY trying to reach just a few or just one person to help change their lives. but if we have faith im sure in fact i know we will reach many more.
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,495
2,563
113
#39
Only the new mothers are too tired. :p The father is never too tired. And the baby is wide awake.
Well, in the Old Testament, sometimes your wife's handmaid would... ummm... well... ya know.

Anyway... hardly any girls come equipped with a handmaid anymore.
 
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kenthomas27

Guest
#40
Only the new mothers are too tired. :p The father is never too tired. And the baby is wide awake.
This was rich GLR, but moreover, I gotta admire your courage for jumping in here. This is one wound up thread. I don't know why we don't all just move to Japan! Seems win win to me.