I think I'll go sideways on this thread and say I'm not sure that our standards are to high or low, but rather that they are misplaced. Too often we refuse to compromise on things that don't matter or may well change over the course of the relationship (appearance, emotional reactions to each other, financial situation, etc.) and don't put a lot of thought or keep standards high on matters of character, behavior, trust, communication etc. We're conditioned to pursue romantic excitement a la hollywood rather than well as one of my favorite romantic movie quotes put it (movie based on a real life relationship too) "Marry first, fall in love later."
Personally, I can much more easily see myself taking an ultra logical approach to a relationship (guy has good character, manages his money well, seems mature and emotionally stable, we can talk about lots of things and I enjoy talking to him…. ok yeah, I can give this guy a chance to win my heart) rather than a spasm of emotion and then trying to figure out how to make things work (or getting emotionally attached to someone who is a mess and you know getting any closer is a bad idea, but you have a hard time detaching, yeah that really stinks, hope I'm smart enough to not do that again ever). Of course everyone should take this with a grain of salt, as science is still trying to find out if I have a romantic bone in my body (they thought they found one, but it turned out to be an overdeveloped funny bone) and "You seem stable, ok I'll give you a chance." is not a pickup line that has ever worked for me (or anyone that I know of).
Personally, I can much more easily see myself taking an ultra logical approach to a relationship (guy has good character, manages his money well, seems mature and emotionally stable, we can talk about lots of things and I enjoy talking to him…. ok yeah, I can give this guy a chance to win my heart) rather than a spasm of emotion and then trying to figure out how to make things work (or getting emotionally attached to someone who is a mess and you know getting any closer is a bad idea, but you have a hard time detaching, yeah that really stinks, hope I'm smart enough to not do that again ever). Of course everyone should take this with a grain of salt, as science is still trying to find out if I have a romantic bone in my body (they thought they found one, but it turned out to be an overdeveloped funny bone) and "You seem stable, ok I'll give you a chance." is not a pickup line that has ever worked for me (or anyone that I know of).
Perhaps, "the romantic bone", it´s that we have called the missing rib.
Do women miss it more than men? I think they have a monthly bio control and, reading between lines, we all seemed to be afraid of a second try.
Let it be admitted!
After a failure, whatever thing it has been (blaming the other instead of assuming personal responsibility) we all made standards HIGHER and, the more we made them we thought it was a shield to protect us and, the truth is: Time is going bye bye.
Will you marry and old man, a sick man, a poor man or an ugly man? (A general question for female readers)
Will you marry a woman you don´t like, a person whose ways aren´t those you know as "safe"? I know the answer (you too, men).
And the higher those standars are, you´re building a boulder and a wall no one would easily reach.