You were right. Im probably turning my dream girl into an idol. But how can I calm down my passion ? How ?
yep that's right and also having a gf/wife seems to also give you what I sense you do not get from interactions with other people in life on a whole.
Having a gf/wife would mean you would be accepted,valued,would have emotional intimacy,social interaction,a kind of reason to live,Loneliness will be no more,You would have somebody who expresses care towards you,someone to make you feel validated,'understood and so much more...which judging by your previous comments here...these are things you are not experiencing in life on general...right?
So part of the desperate desires you have is seeking forfillment via a partner which life hasnt actually give you.
Tell me..have you been emotionally wounded by life?Have you felt like a loner...undervalued,rejected perhaps?
Yes or no??
Dreaming of a dream girl is actually a fantasy based projection of your need to be loved,give love and also to feel loved..iam sure you gain much pleasure from day dreams and fantasy of how she will be with you..it must warm your soul.
Yet in real life she doesn't actually exist in the way that you imagine..
It seems that your desire for someone is mixed with a deeper desire to be loved,feel loved and to be able to love back..
How to calm down these passions?
The 1st thing is to break those patterns of deceptive thinking that's fuelling the idolic perspective you have about her and allowing God to heal you of any deep wounds you have ...and ask God to help you develop a realistic mindset of how females actually ARE.
As you are enjoying daydreams about the dream girl which is actually making the 'idea' of her more important to your lifes foundation than God himself....God could say...you foolish man.....tonight I am taking your life back..
The question would be this...what would you say to God when he reveals the deceptive thought life you had and didnt even know it and it was blinding you with deceitful desires to the fact that there is No dream girl like that in real life and that you were worshipping an image you created in your own heart because all you really wanted was to be loved...
It would shatter your mindset and you would realise how blinded you had become.
God looks at what drives our longings and he knows the real root to all this.
So having the right mindset is the key for overcoming these intense passions..