Are there single Christian girls in Finland ?

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Jun 29, 2021
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And one way to calm down is know your value. Don’t hate yourself Christ said you are valuable by dying for you and extremely painful death, and God sending His Son for you. Think of God‘a love for you, and think on other things. honestly we as men do need companions wives and people to be around with same with girls. But learn to accept the fact you are loved and be content with it go to church, for you and i need help. Me im lonely too but, thankfully there are people to talk to at times you can’t try chatnow.org or go to church which is much more better. Get to know God more, just Make time 15 minutes to pray, or read scripture for 30 starting with the book of John. Even if you have read it in the pass try again. And brother i really suggest you go to church and pray and read scripture and worship. In church ask for help and ask God FIRST to help you in prayer along with thanksgiving. God loves you, Christ loves you. And go to church.
I’m sorry I meant to say you can try chat now.org
 
Jun 29, 2021
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And one way to calm down is know your value. Don’t hate yourself Christ said you are valuable by dying for you and extremely painful death, and God sending His Son for you. Think of God‘a love for you, and think on other things. honestly we as men do need companions wives and people to be around with same with girls. But learn to accept the fact you are loved and be content with it go to church, for you and i need help. Me im lonely too but, thankfully there are people to talk to at times you can’t try chatnow.org or go to church which is much more better. Get to know God more, just Make time 15 minutes to pray, or read scripture for 30 starting with the book of John. Even if you have read it in the pass try again. And brother i really suggest you go to church and pray and read scripture and worship. In church ask for help and ask God FIRST to help you in prayer along with thanksgiving. God loves you, Christ loves you. And go to church.
I meant to say you can try chat now.org and go to church.
 
Jun 29, 2021
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And get wisdom about marriage because if you act thoughtlessly and without counsel from your church leaders and first without asking God, there won’t be marriage for long. It will be a burden and bad things can happen, i suggest first grow your relationship with God here is a plan too
I'm reading the @YouVersion plan 'Getting Closer To God'. Check it out here:
https://www.bible.com/en/reading-plans/11004 1626631387183.png
 
Jun 29, 2021
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Well I cant write an entire biography here so I will tell you only the important points. I dont have any hobbies. I dont feel like I particularly enjoy something. Well, except drinking a few and fantasizing with my dream girl in bed. Im thinking on her nearly all the time. I sometimes use my pillow to fantasize. I want this girl so much, I want this girl. Im so full of passion. I cant stop thinking on this girl, its like a drug. Its the way I flee from my emotional problems. Oww passion. I really want this sweet Christian girl !

Im not a friends person. Im rather a social outcast. My parents are too old. I just have my brother but lives in Tampere and we dont talk much. To be sincere Im not very happy with my job but do it anyways. I have not gone to church for a time but did in the past. I simply dont feel like it, maybe because of my existential crisis. Yes, its sometimes hard to accept but, my loneliness has made me a miserable person. I have been lusting with a girl for a long time already. I always have had a very strong desire for a girlfriend. Time is passing and Im only feeling less desire for living every year. Why cant I find a good Christian girl ? Why there are no girls of God here ? Why ? Why ? This is ruining my life. I hate myself. I hate myself. I prefer dying before living an eternity of loneliness depression and alcoholism. I dont want to be a fat drunkard. I dont want to be a jerk.
brother get to know Christ more, don’t look at yourself like this, try and get help from God, just talk to Him. As you would to your closest relationships. And read scriptuee and try get help from your brothers and sisters. in Sites like needHim,chatnow,chataboutJesus. But if you have a true Church that you can go please make sure to go. God loves you brother, read scripture and now that the hills may move mountains may disappear but His faithful love for you will remain. God loves you. True love and He is perfectly loving you, unconditionally regardless of how you see yourself or who you are, and no one nor anything no power of hell no fear no worry nothing can separate your from God’s love which is in Christ Jesus our Lord, you are valuable. Your life is precious to God, and ask God for help, tell Him about everything Mark 9:23 the man here told God that he believes but also asked for help against his unbelief, God is there to help, and He is willing to help you. God loves you brother, He sees you, calm down, He knows you, you struggle struggle and struggle but He can help. Trust Him.
 

Kauko

Active member
Jul 14, 2021
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brother get to know Christ more, don’t look at yourself like this, try and get help from God, just talk to Him. As you would to your closest relationships. And read scriptuee and try get help from your brothers and sisters. in Sites like needHim,chatnow,chataboutJesus. But if you have a true Church that you can go please make sure to go. God loves you brother, read scripture and now that the hills may move mountains may disappear but His faithful love for you will remain. God loves you. True love and He is perfectly loving you, unconditionally regardless of how you see yourself or who you are, and no one nor anything no power of hell no fear no worry nothing can separate your from God’s love which is in Christ Jesus our Lord, you are valuable. Your life is precious to God, and ask God for help, tell Him about everything Mark 9:23 the man here told God that he believes but also asked for help against his unbelief, God is there to help, and He is willing to help you. God loves you brother, He sees you, calm down, He knows you, you struggle struggle and struggle but He can help. Trust Him.
Thank you for your posts Elijah, I sometimes feel very bad with myself. Is this your last post ?
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,488
1,298
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You were right. Im probably turning my dream girl into an idol. But how can I calm down my passion ? How ?
yep that's right and also having a gf/wife seems to also give you what I sense you do not get from interactions with other people in life on a whole.
Having a gf/wife would mean you would be accepted,valued,would have emotional intimacy,social interaction,a kind of reason to live,Loneliness will be no more,You would have somebody who expresses care towards you,someone to make you feel validated,'understood and so much more...which judging by your previous comments here...these are things you are not experiencing in life on general...right?
So part of the desperate desires you have is seeking forfillment via a partner which life hasnt actually give you.
Tell me..have you been emotionally wounded by life?Have you felt like a loner...undervalued,rejected perhaps?
Yes or no??
Dreaming of a dream girl is actually a fantasy based projection of your need to be loved,give love and also to feel loved..iam sure you gain much pleasure from day dreams and fantasy of how she will be with you..it must warm your soul.
Yet in real life she doesn't actually exist in the way that you imagine..
It seems that your desire for someone is mixed with a deeper desire to be loved,feel loved and to be able to love back..
How to calm down these passions?
The 1st thing is to break those patterns of deceptive thinking that's fuelling the idolic perspective you have about her and allowing God to heal you of any deep wounds you have ...and ask God to help you develop a realistic mindset of how females actually ARE.
As you are enjoying daydreams about the dream girl which is actually making the 'idea' of her more important to your lifes foundation than God himself....God could say...you foolish man.....tonight I am taking your life back..
The question would be this...what would you say to God when he reveals the deceptive thought life you had and didnt even know it and it was blinding you with deceitful desires to the fact that there is No dream girl like that in real life and that you were worshipping an image you created in your own heart because all you really wanted was to be loved...
It would shatter your mindset and you would realise how blinded you had become.
God looks at what drives our longings and he knows the real root to all this.
So having the right mindset is the key for overcoming these intense passions..
 

kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
3,891
1,490
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You were right. Im probably turning my dream girl into an idol. But how can I calm down my passion ? How ?
Pursue other passions? Focus on building a better me, making yourself more marketable to the opposite sex, and when you reached a point where you are doing really well for yourself, woman will be knocking on your door. At that point, you will probably have a do not disturb sign on your door.


 
Jun 29, 2021
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And brother that girl may not be the one, so above all have A better relationship with God
 

TenderHeart

Active member
Jul 5, 2021
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there’s some solid advice here. Read through it and apply it. Take a cold shower while you’re at it. Go take a jog to calm yourself down. Stop thinking about what you don’t have. Appreciate what you do have. God could give you terminal cancer at any time, and then you would realize you have wasted time. Every day is precious. Look we all want the best for you. No one is your enemy here. But you have to want to try to help yourself. Instead of obsessing about a fantasy. Reality is never as good as fantasy. Many of us speak from real life experiences of being married, having been married, having been in difficult relationships with the opposite sex. Just quiet your mind and listen to the wisdom that is here.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,114
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I dont want to be a fat drunkard. I dont want to be a jerk.
All three of those can be changed... I was getting a bit chubby, but I started biking to my job. I know a few people who used to be jerks until they learned how much nicer life is if they do it a different way. As for drinking, that's an easy way to run away from life. If you start meeting life head-on you won't need drinking.

About not going to church because you don't feel like it... I can't help you there. I do a lot of things I don't feel like doing, but I do them anyway because I value the effects they have. If I didn't do stuff just because I didn't feel like it, my life would be a lot worse.

Maybe that's why you need alcohol. Maybe if you started doing stuff even when you didn't feel like it, your life would be good enough that you wouldn't want to run away from it.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
10,463
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Pick up a hobby. Learn something new. Volunteer in a ministry. Serve in the community.

An idle mind is the devil’s playground.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,488
1,298
113
there’s some solid advice here. Read through it and apply it. Take a cold shower while you’re at it. Go take a jog to calm yourself down. Stop thinking about what you don’t have. Appreciate what you do have. God could give you terminal cancer at any time, and then you would realize you have wasted time. Every day is precious. Look we all want the best for you. No one is your enemy here. But you have to want to try to help yourself. Instead of obsessing about a fantasy. Reality is never as good as fantasy. Many of us speak from real life experiences of being married, having been married, having been in difficult relationships with the opposite sex. Just quiet your mind and listen to the wisdom that is here.
Exactly and i bet the fantasy and idolising of the 'idea' of a female is also coming out partly from having his own desires meet within the projection of these daydreams and longings ect and nothing to do with how he would actually treat a female in real life.Most fantasies ect and projections of fulfilling just what we want for ourselves and nothing more...They are self forfilling mental images tailor made to suit our own needs and nothing more.
This thread does highlight one aspect of singleness that isnt often discussed...'How to deal with the constant yearning be have someone special so they one can experience all the things associated with having someone such as romance,emotional intimacy,having someone special in you life that makes ones life kind of come alive with a specialness that only having someone can only bring?
Some people are just dying to be hugged...
.be told they are lovely...would do anything to just have someone miss them..find them attractive ect...Some people are really struggling also with sexual desires,temptations and all sorts and feel almost tormented by such things...
These things do happen for many single Christian's at times...some more than others..
Food for thought 🤔👍🏻