But I dont want to remain single. I want a wife ! I want a wife !
Ummmm there is nothing wrong with wanting a wife.I get the impression that you are actually desperate to meet someone which I know can happen too.Its not easy.
You are really struggling with being single and you're expressing to us just how desperate you are.
The bible does say that 'hope deferred makes the heat sick'..so even God knows that when we are hoping for something and it doesnt happen soon enough it can most definitely affect us...so I emphasize with you on that level.
To deeply want something that you presently do not have is one of the worst feelings ever.
Do you think you could cope with even having a relationship with a female without becoming over whelmed by sexual lust,becoming clingy,obsessive,..even putting her above God in your mind and heart?
You mentioned that you wanna kiss a gf...are you battling with sexual tension and frustration to the point where if you had a gf would you be vulnerable to end up wanting sexual intimacy with her...would you sulk if she will just allow a tiny peck on the lips?
Could you cope if she was sold out for christ and was deep prayer,bible study and wanted you both to pray together about lots of things,attend Christian meetings,wanting you both to spend time chatting about marriage and what it actually means for both of you..your role as a husband(priest,head of the home,loving her as christ loved the church ect)..her role as a wife(A support to your life,equal in value,'willing to respect the God given role you will have as a husband unto God inorder for you to become the man God created you to be ect..)...???
Not having something makes you want it even more and no wife/gf can make your life complete.The same attitudes to your life right now will eventually become the same even if you had a gf/wife.
Ok lts say you have a wife..then what?
What you gonna do when you have your 1st big disagreement?
When the initial excitement melts away when the normal routine of life kicks in?
What you gonna do when sex become less stimulating for you?
When you get all use to having her around your partner will no longer be the object of your passions in the way that they are at the moment...why???..coz you now have them.
It like when someone really wants a car and thinks about cars,longs and yearns for one..then they get a car....then what?
All the things associated with having a car which were once craved become the norm so the level of previous intense wanting and idolising that were there when there wasn't a car are no longer there in that way.
Wanting something is NOT the same as having it.
Of course wanting to have someone special is a perfectly natural desire to have.
However when it comes almost like the be all and end all to a persons life..then it becomes an idol.
You end up worshipping the idea of having someone yet fail to realise that how you would actually treat that someone is actually more important than having them.
Coz your feelings will change when you have them coz you got them..