This will probably be my last post on this thread, and I will end by saying a couple of pertinent things.
Now on the flip side, people would call me a hypocrite because there are many Christians who do not believe abuse is not grounds for divorce, but I do.
I have talked about these stories often. I grew up in the Lutheran church, and went to their schools kindergarten through graduation, only to illustrate that I became fairly well-acquainted with their teachings and the Bible and what I saw as discrepancies.
Two of the girls at my Lutheran high school while I was there later married and their husbands wound up emptying guns into their heads. The church I grew up in would do everything it could to insist that you to go back to your husband, even with both your eyes blackened.
One girl had gone to "the secular world" for help (a women's shelter) and did everything they told her to get away. They even had helped her find a new apartment he wasn't supposed to know about (I'm pretty sure my old church would NEVER do something like that to help a battered spouse.) But he did find her, and that's where he confronted and killed her "for leaving him."
The other girl was the most popular and well-known in school. She became a local TV personality, so they were seen as the model couple and family of the community. Her husband shot her to death in front of their 3 kids, the oldest of whom was about 11, who was desperately trying to call 911 at the time.
Many of the Christians I have met do not believe that even the most severe abuse is an allowance for divorce, and I've been around a lot of women at my jobs, etc., who were living with daily domestic abuse. I've also read of cases in which the husband was sexually abusing the children and the wife was reluctantly told she could separate from him, but not divorce and certainly never remarry.
For myself, if I had a husband who hit or sexually abused me, the first time would be the last, because I would be gone.
I'm not sticking around to see if there is another time, or if it will escalate into broken bones, shattered faces, and beatings so bad that her eye was popped out of her socket, as I have seen and heard about others going through.
And I know many Christians will condemn me for not "following God's Word to the letter" in this particular way (while also condemning me for being what they see as extreme in my other example,) but I don't believe God wants us to stay in a situation that endangers ourselves or others.
Jesus said that the Sabbath was made for man and that man wasn't made for the Sabbath; likewise, I believe that marriage was created as a blessing to people but I don't believe that God hallows marriage itself above the well-being of the people involved.
Again, I can only claim my beliefs for myself. And as I said before, I believe in the end, God will straighten us all out in the end, which most certainly includes me.
All I can do is live by my own convictions and try my best to encourage others to seek God in everything they do.
On the one hand, I totally agree with you that no wife/mother should tolerate the types of abuses you have described here towards either herself or her children.
A husband is supposed to nourish and cherish his wife as he would his own flesh or body (Ephesians 5:28-29), and God is totally opposed to husbands who treat their wives treacherously or violently (Malachi 2:14-15).
Similarly, a father ought to be training up his children in the way that they should go, and subjecting them to physical or sexual abuse is definitely not a part of that training process.
In such instances, I would encourage the wife/mother to not only get her church involved, but also the legal authorities. In other words, a police report ought to be filed, a restraining order gotten if needed, and either she and any children or the offending husband/father should be removed from the home to prevent everyone from remaining in the same residency until the situation is truly rectified.
Having said all of this, does this constitute the grounds for biblical divorce and remarriage?
Separation?
Definitely.
Divorce and remarriage?
Personally, I do not see it in scripture, and I would never counsel anyone beyond what I know to be written. In other words, I would take them as far as I could, and then suggest that the rest of the details be committed to serious prayer.
That is the one hand, but there is the other hand which nobody seems to like.
As Christians, we are called to suffer in different aspects of our lives, and marriage may very well be one of them.
Before even looking at human marriages, we ought to seriously consider that the Bible is basically one big marriage manual, with Christ being the bridegroom and the church being his bride. If anybody has ever read the Bible, and if they are not on some sort of mind-altering drugs, then to even think that such a relationship is without its trial and tribulations is shear insanity. in other words, the Bible is replete with accounts of unfaithfulness, so to enter into marriage with some sort of Hallmark Rom-Com mindset or Harlequin Romance mindset is literally insane.
Please consider the following words of the Apostle Peter:
1 Peter 2:13-17
"Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme; Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well. For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men: As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the servants of God. Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king."
As Christians, we are called to honor the king, and the king at the time of Peter's writing was anything but honorable by Christian standards, but that simply does not matter. In other words, regardless of how other people act or behave themselves, we are still called to act or behave ourselves in manners which are befitting of the servants of God. In fact, it is the will of God that with well doing we may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men, and we do these things for the Lord's sake, and not just with our own selves or selfish desires in mind.
With this same principle in mind, Peter continued on to say:
1 Peter 2:18-25
"Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward. For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully. For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously: Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls."
Again, with this same principle in mind, Peter instructed Christian servants or slaves to be subject to their own masters, and not only to the good and gentle, but also unto the froward. He said that this is thankworthy because it shows that the Christian is enduring grief and suffering out of a conscience toward God, or for the Lord's sake, as he said earlier. In other words, again, this is not all about us, but also about what God has called us unto, and Peter said that we have actually been called to suffer.
Did anybody faint?
If you did, then you have not been reading your Bible.
Christ suffered wrongfully for us, and, in doing so, he set the example which we are supposed to be following. Not only this, but we are supposed to be patiently enduring such things because this is acceptable to God. People may not like it, but God seems to be just fine with it.
With this in mind, and in this precise context, please notice the very next word that Peter wrote:
1 Peter 3:1-6
"
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement."
"Likewise"?
Yes, "likewise".
In other words, in the same way that some will suffer at the hands of wicked government officials or wicked masters, so, too, will some wives need to endure suffering in relation to their own husbands. I am not suggesting that they endure the types of physical or sexual abuses that I addressed earlier in this post, but simply having a husband who is not subject to God's word is not a biblical justification for divorce and remarriage.
Also, men quite often get the bad end of the stick, so to speak. In other words, there are plenty of scriptures which I could easily quote where the wife is the offending party, and the husband has to endure suffering because of her.
I have said enough.
1
The administration has been wonderfully understanding, and I make no excuses as I bring it all upon myself with the questions I ask and the discussion ideas I try to hold inside but can't -- eventually, they spill out somewhere. I also have a tendency to post/write more threads when I'm going through times of extreme stress, as it's one of my own personal forms of therapy. 
