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Full disclosure and honesty here: I was content with being single. I had resolved myself to being single first, and then became content with it.
I am a mom, the head of my home, and had put my focus on that.
Now, there were thoughts that would cross my mind on occation such as, : "Gosh, I have always just desired to be a wife and mom, have dinner on the table when my husband gets home, bake cookies with my kids, have family snowball fights etc etc" as well as, "someday my kiddos will be grown, and the idea of having to refefine myself as someone besides a mom 'actively' raising kids is a bit daunting....*sigh*..."
I wanted one of those homes where he hated to leave the house in the morning, and longed to come home each evening.
But overall, its all been good.
Then out of NOWHERE someone came into my life. They were not looking, I was not looking....it just happened. We both seemed so happy about it. And I truly considered him a gift.
Things did not work out though.....and I am finding myself having to find that 'content' place again. This is not a bad thing.....its just that part of me that had been locked up for so long was unlocked and cared for very deeply by someone......
What I have chosen to take away from it, is that my heart IS capable of 'feeling' something that I had resolved that it would not feel again.....or ever.
Bottom line is, if you are not happy by yourself, WITH yourself, then another person cannot fix that for you. It is rather unfair to give someone that job.
BUT, it is certainly wonderful when someone comes into your life and only adds to the joy you already are getting out of life.
God is so good to have blessed me as He has. Beyond what I deserve acctually. His plans are best, and greatest.
I wish for you all to have the desires of your hearts....within HIS will. Blessings!
I am a mom, the head of my home, and had put my focus on that.
Now, there were thoughts that would cross my mind on occation such as, : "Gosh, I have always just desired to be a wife and mom, have dinner on the table when my husband gets home, bake cookies with my kids, have family snowball fights etc etc" as well as, "someday my kiddos will be grown, and the idea of having to refefine myself as someone besides a mom 'actively' raising kids is a bit daunting....*sigh*..."
I wanted one of those homes where he hated to leave the house in the morning, and longed to come home each evening.
But overall, its all been good.
Then out of NOWHERE someone came into my life. They were not looking, I was not looking....it just happened. We both seemed so happy about it. And I truly considered him a gift.
Things did not work out though.....and I am finding myself having to find that 'content' place again. This is not a bad thing.....its just that part of me that had been locked up for so long was unlocked and cared for very deeply by someone......
What I have chosen to take away from it, is that my heart IS capable of 'feeling' something that I had resolved that it would not feel again.....or ever.
Bottom line is, if you are not happy by yourself, WITH yourself, then another person cannot fix that for you. It is rather unfair to give someone that job.
BUT, it is certainly wonderful when someone comes into your life and only adds to the joy you already are getting out of life.
God is so good to have blessed me as He has. Beyond what I deserve acctually. His plans are best, and greatest.
I wish for you all to have the desires of your hearts....within HIS will. Blessings!
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L
Bottom line is, if you are not happy by yourself, WITH yourself, then another person cannot fix that for you. It is rather unfair to give someone that job.
BUT, it is certainly wonderful when someone comes into your life and only adds to the joy you already are getting out of life.
God is so good to have blessed me as He has. Beyond what I deserve acctually. His plans are best, and greatest.
I wish for you all to have the desires of your hearts....within HIS will. Blessings!
BUT, it is certainly wonderful when someone comes into your life and only adds to the joy you already are getting out of life.
God is so good to have blessed me as He has. Beyond what I deserve acctually. His plans are best, and greatest.
I wish for you all to have the desires of your hearts....within HIS will. Blessings!
I went into a relationship because I thought I was 'mature' and 'selfless' lol! When my ex told me the one thing that destroyed my delusional life, that I was 'very immature and self centered' I had to go on a journey of finding myself for the first time, and knowing who I am... In Christ! And it's been great so far. I'm starting to like myself and making my own choices out of pure freedom, very satisfying.
And very true, Yankees, today's common misconception is that our feelings and emotions are our partners' responsibility. That leads to a very miserable life.
And very true, Yankees, today's common misconception is that our feelings and emotions are our partners' responsibility. That leads to a very miserable life.
F
Each of us is called to be in different partner placements, some as couples-probably many-and some single. Some temporarily single and others permanently single. I believe that I am to be permanently single but that is for me. I respect and value marriage and those who take that path. Some I know respectfully grow with each other and some should probably have been a bit more patient before taking that leap. Basically, we are diverse as are the paths we walk with God and that is beautiful!
I think its great that you so confidently know the direction you are headed in and happy with it.
Thanks for posting this.
Thanks for posting this.
Each of us is called to be in different partner placements, some as couples-probably many-and some single. Some temporarily single and others permanently single. I believe that I am to be permanently single but that is for me. I respect and value marriage and those who take that path. Some I know respectfully grow with each other and some should probably have been a bit more patient before taking that leap. Basically, we are diverse as are the paths we walk with God and that is beautiful!
C
I don't get this: you have to be content first.
If someone is content, well, why not stay like that, like Paul?
No, when I was desperate they didn't want me, now I don't want them anymore. Jesus thought it was very attractive that I was desperate, so I'll only marry Him, unless the guy is on drugs and not saved yet or lives in Africa or something and can't help it he never met me, but those ones that only want a 'has it all together' person or wait 'til your kids are grown up, bye! You didn't want me then, I don't want you now.
If someone is content, well, why not stay like that, like Paul?
No, when I was desperate they didn't want me, now I don't want them anymore. Jesus thought it was very attractive that I was desperate, so I'll only marry Him, unless the guy is on drugs and not saved yet or lives in Africa or something and can't help it he never met me, but those ones that only want a 'has it all together' person or wait 'til your kids are grown up, bye! You didn't want me then, I don't want you now.
It is sort of a catch 22 isn't it. When we get older we get set in our ways. When we are younger and get married we are hopefully growing together.... ideally anyway. My experience with women is that they always end up trying to change me in some way. Trying to change someone is a form of rejection. It also is impatient and unkind. It shows an insecurity about themselves and it never ends well. Why are we constantly trying to mold someone in our image instead of creating closeness thru shared experiences and fun? I don't expect to ever find an easy going person who doesn't take themselves so seriously.
Being content with one condition does not necessarily imply being devoid of any desire to change that condition, just that the desire to change that condition is not a major driving force.
Take for example my income. I am content (for the most part) with my lower middle class income and lifestyle, that sure doesn't mean that if someone offered to substantially increase my income that I would turn it down.
Take for example my income. I am content (for the most part) with my lower middle class income and lifestyle, that sure doesn't mean that if someone offered to substantially increase my income that I would turn it down.
C
Yes annoying, my ex always wanted to change me in a totally different person, but later I did the same to another ex. You just can't find what you want so you take a fixer upper. This guy is a drugaddict and an atheist, but I can change him into a world evangelist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnsCqE1akDY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnsCqE1akDY
LOVE this!!! So well said!
QUOTE=Oncefallen;2541250]Being content with one condition does not necessarily imply being devoid of any desire to change that condition, just that the desire to change that condition is not a major driving force.
Take for example my income. I am content (for the most part) with my lower middle class income and lifestyle, that sure doesn't mean that if someone offered to substantially increase my income that I would turn it down.[/QUOTE]
QUOTE=Oncefallen;2541250]Being content with one condition does not necessarily imply being devoid of any desire to change that condition, just that the desire to change that condition is not a major driving force.
Take for example my income. I am content (for the most part) with my lower middle class income and lifestyle, that sure doesn't mean that if someone offered to substantially increase my income that I would turn it down.[/QUOTE]
F
Coby,
Some are fully content living life like Paul, just not many.
Sirk,
There is nothing wrong with loving someone enough to encourage change from sinful behaviors. I think problems come with stubbornness/wrongful assumptions from the one being corrected at times and fleshly judgement/self-righteousness from the other partner. When none of this is present there is mutual respect without defenses rising because each is comforted in knowing that anything corrected is done in love thus allowing self reflection as opposed to self-defense.
Some are fully content living life like Paul, just not many.
Sirk,
There is nothing wrong with loving someone enough to encourage change from sinful behaviors. I think problems come with stubbornness/wrongful assumptions from the one being corrected at times and fleshly judgement/self-righteousness from the other partner. When none of this is present there is mutual respect without defenses rising because each is comforted in knowing that anything corrected is done in love thus allowing self reflection as opposed to self-defense.
I tried to change someone I love and it did'nt end well. It was a mistake but I could'nt help it. It's part of the brokenness we inherited where women will have the uncontrollable tendency to conquer her mate but only leads to frustration because men are meant to rule over his mate. And men tend to struggle towards greatness but because of brokenness they cant get away with the feeling of inadequacy and this lead to broken relationships. Despite of this we still long for connection. And we can only get it right if both get it right with God first. I can be content with being single but I believe life with someone is also good. Even when marriage is not all bed of roses, the pain will be worth the joy that intimacy brings.
F
Women are men's helpers, not beneath them but beside them. Help includes guiding toward goodness through your own actions and respectful conversation that rebukes sinful behavior, as well as physical care. The man should reciprocate if he is walking rightly. Both build each other...it is not a dictatorship.