Can Mastubation Equal Rape?

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seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,584
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#62
That's called pride. God got through it :) The way it was delivered pissed you off (and maybe justifiably so?), but the thing itself should not have. I get it. I think I've been starting to think along those terms too, though I'm probably not as far along as you.

I've learned that life is better without sinful pride. No, I got plenty of it, but God has begun to chip away some of it. And, it feels good. It leaves peace behind, not this adrenalized need to defend myself. Unfortunately what remains still wants to fight. I can't wait till its last cell is burned.

But, also know that some people out there are just plain bad, and their only purpose in your life is to be a puppet of the enemy.
Pride is definitely a big part of it.

If I remember right, I had mentioned being divorced, and the guy reacted by replying, "I'm sorry that you're a fornicating adulteress." And that surely riled up my pride.

I don't think he even allowed me to explain that my husband had a girlfriend and moved out in secret one day while I was at work - I came home to a half-empty house - but this guy in the forum had his mind made up about what he thought I was.

And God told me, "However he chose to judge or put it, the bottom line is that he's telling you that you're a sinner."

I had to let it go because no matter how it was presented, when it was boiled down to the bare fact of being a fallen person who sins, I couldn't argue with that.

What he assumed and judged me for was between him and God, but of course that also meant I had to own up to what God wanted to acknowledge in me.

My whole life, the people who have both loved and hurt me the most usually identified themselves as Christians.

No one wants you about all the judgment and opposition Christians have to deal with WITHIN Christian circles, but I think every believer comes to a accept that it's just one of the uglier sides of faith.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,176
113
#63
well that was a sticky topic to bring up...

I just pray and bind demons beforehand. I remember one horny workmate was always hitting on the girls and just being a pain like that, and I just laughed.

Or said 'whatever'. Sorry the feeling isnt mutual.

One time he got turned on my me putting sun cream on my leg. ugh. If they cannot control themselves with their minds or their bodies I just think ok that person has a dirty mind and they need cleansing, God. will you cleanse them cos its not my job to be their bathwater.
 

Gojira

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2021
5,691
2,299
113
Mesa, AZ
#64
Pride is definitely a big part of it.

If I remember right, I had mentioned being divorced, and the guy reacted by replying, "I'm sorry that you're a fornicating adulteress." And that surely riled up my pride.

I don't think he even allowed me to explain that my husband had a girlfriend and moved out in secret one day while I was at work - I came home to a half-empty house - but this guy in the forum had his mind made up about what he thought I was.

And God told me, "However he chose to judge or put it, the bottom line is that he's telling you that you're a sinner."

I had to let it go because no matter how it was presented, when it was boiled down to the bare fact of being a fallen person who sins, I couldn't argue with that.

What he assumed and judged me for was between him and God, but of course that also meant I had to own up to what God wanted to acknowledge in me.

My whole life, the people who have both loved and hurt me the most usually identified themselves as Christians.

No one wants you about all the judgment and opposition Christians have to deal with WITHIN Christian circles, but I think every believer comes to a accept that it's just one of the uglier sides of faith.
You know, I'd have a problem with that too. That was a verbal stab -- unless you were messing around with someone at the time. I would need God to talk to me on that, otherwise I'd flip.

Regarding Christians... I must agree with you on the idea that Christians have hurt me probably worse than the unsaved has, unless I count my days as a young'n in school being bullied. My current crop of unsaved friends have never hurt me or betrayed me. And, they accept me as a believer. Pathetic? Yeah.
 
J

Jackieboy100

Guest
#65
well that was a sticky topic to bring up...

I just pray and bind demons beforehand. I remember one horny workmate was always hitting on the girls and just being a pain like that, and I just laughed.

Or said 'whatever'. Sorry the feeling isnt mutual.

One time he got turned on my me putting sun cream on my leg. ugh. If they cannot control themselves with their minds or their bodies I just think ok that person has a dirty mind and they need cleansing, God. will you cleanse them cos its not my job to be their bathwater.
Oh the workplace! All sorts of mortals show up there with strange and odd attitudes (like some of the ones displayed here on this site). I was extremely offended when a past co-worker told me he had a dream that he and I had a baby together. I told him that he must have been thinking about me in a sexual way, which I found to be repulsive. I told him to keep any dreams he ever has about me again to himself and to never again approach with them.
 

Robertt

Well-known member
May 22, 2019
898
318
63
Bahrain
#66
what i dont think should occur is a man (or woman) tell you that masturbate thinking over you. that is between them and God. spekaing of it to someone (in my tohughts) is the really wrong thing
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#67
*smiles*

Thanks, Missy!!

Seriously, the reason I am the way I am is because from the time I was a kid, for some reason, people have talked to me about some of their most pressing, personal issues. I can remember being at summer camp (about 11 years old) and a girl there was telling me about some terrible things that had happened to her.

Throughout the years, I have also had many guys confide in me about past abuses they've endured... I think it's even harder for guys in some ways because of all the social taboos ("men are supposed to be strong and never show it when something bothers them," etc.) Completely untrue, in my book.

So, I'm always asking, "Why, God? And what do you want me to do in order to try to help?"

As I said, I originally wanted to be a psychologist--I wanted the worst, most severe cases--and was working on my Master's thesis when I went through a very bad, unwanted divorce (sorry to keep repeating myself, you've probably read this in my other posts), so I dropped out of school to work full-time.

It's never been in my heart to go back to school.

But the people coming in and out of my life, their questions and search for hope, truth, and healing... never ends.

And neither do my questions.
how do you fee now about returning to your studies?
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
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#68
how do you fee now about returning to your studies?
Hi Narrow!

To be honest, I have never wanted to go back to a formal school. If I had to, I would, but for now I prefer learning online in my own time.

I don't want to rack up debt or student loans again so I go as I can.

I get excited when I get to try implementing even small things I learn, and that keeps me motivated. 🙂
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#69
Hi Narrow!

To be honest, I have never wanted to go back to a formal school. If I had to, I would, but for now I prefer learning online in my own time.

I don't want to rack up debt or student loans again so I go as I can.

I get excited when I get to try implementing even small things I learn, and that keeps me motivated. 🙂
yes student loans is a big reason why young people struggle to even purchase their first home. I think more and more people are looking at alternatives to higher learning. Universities are great at gobbling up money. I always tell kids, you would get a better education if you travelled the world than sit in a classroom but then who has the money to do that right?
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
5,557
2,193
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#72

Psalm 55:12-14~ It is not an enemy who insults me...
I had forgotten about this one....thank you!

Yep....truth.

It's amazing to me how some of the worst evil is perpetrated by those who claim God the most.

Words and actions need to match. And so many people have yet to figure out that being a Christian is actually putting those good thoughts into actions and deeds.

Being honest, being kind, and not trying to "fix people" is difficult for the self righteous.
Nothing makes a person feel so alone as when a "Christian " friend perpetrates some evil trying to "fix" you or the world.

@seoulsearch certainly has a "unique" fan club eh?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,882
8,151
113
#73
@seoulsearch certainly has a "unique" fan club eh?
More eclectic than unique. She draws out people who like to think, and people who hate thinking and want to complain about her trying to get them to think.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,584
113
#74
I had forgotten about this one....thank you!
Nothing makes a person feel so alone as when a "Christian " friend perpetrates some evil trying to "fix" you or the world.
@seoulsearch certainly has a "unique" fan club eh?
More eclectic than unique. She draws out people who like to think, and people who hate thinking and want to complain about her trying to get them to think.
Someone told me once that my "Super Power" was getting people who are already deep thinkers to think even deeper. To be honest, I had never even really thought (pun intended) about that.

But it sounds pretty good on the surface, so I'll take it! :D

It's another reason why I write most of the titles the way I do when applicable. A good number of people will just read the title, especially if it's a controversial subject, and want to give their opinion right away without reading anyone else's, because they assume they already know what the discussion is. And that's perfectly fine -- I realize most people, including myself, don't always have the time to keep up with threads.

That's why I generally try to only write threads when I know I can somewhat keep up with them throughout the day and why I write them the way I do.

I'm looking for the people who will take the time to read the OP before jumping in, because it often contains a twist that only the people following along will understand.

Anyone and everyone is always welcome to answer! It's what keeps the forum going.

But it's always nice to meet other people who overthink everything, and consider reading what others have to say to be part of the process.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,176
113
#75
ha reading thread titles....its like dont judge a book by its cover...or its title

Some people might assume Little Women is a story about female hobbits, but it turns out the women in that book/movie are just normal size not midgets.
 

Moses_Young

Well-known member
Sep 15, 2019
9,100
4,926
113
#76
I agree with one of your banned subscribers. I think the first. [Reading the follow-on conversation, I hope I don't later get banned for being a troll. I'm not one, but I know they all say that! And your posts are often fun and interesting. ;-) ]

I think someone's dirty perversion isn't the same as rape, because it doesn't cause physical harm, and can't produce a child. This said, telling one about this isn't pleasant, and is definitely an unwelcome advance - sort of an invitation for you to affirm or even engage in their sin. On par with if one were imagining murdering someone, and then telling the imagined victim how he were to go about it. Or performing witchcraft on one, and then explaining to the victim how he had been cursed, or something similarly creepy.

If someone has this problem, he really shouldn't be telling other people about it. Unless it's to get some serious help, because that is what he needs.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,574
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#77
Hello, everyone:

Have any of you ever been in situations where someone tells you they are thinking of you and masturbating to their thoughts about you... and you are completely horrified, feel violated, and am not sure how to react? Did you say anything back to them?

Because I've had some experience talking to inmates in prison and soldiers in Iraq ( I originally wanted to be a psychologist), I have run into this situation more than once and am not sure how to react to it in a "Christian manner."

I think it's a relevant topic for a lot of people though, because you can just as easily encounter this with a co-worker.

The last few times it happened (and the guys who have told me this all claimed to be Christians), I wrote back to the person, "Well... ok... but will you do me a favor? You've told me you believe in God, right? The next time you're having those thoughts about me, will you imagine God standing right next to you? And you believe He knows your thoughts and intentions, right? What is He telling you abut what you're doing? Please get back to me about what He says to you."

One apologized profusely and said he would never do it again; the other told me I had "hurt him" and stopped talking to me altogether.
I want to be understanding because we're all human and we all have errant thoughts, especially when we're lonely, stressed, and going through terrible circumstances.

But I don't want to feel abused or violated either. I am not at peace AT ALL with the idea of someone having sex with me in his mind when I am 1. not interested in him that way and 2. not his wife (I've had one tell me it was justified because he wanted to marry me.)

One of the guys who did this said, "Well, I'm a man, you're a woman, you should be flattered by the attention."

I wrote him, "I'm sorry, but I am not your personal porn object."

To me, someone reacting to me in this way is a major violation of my free will.

What do you think? Am I being too harsh? And how would you react personally?

*Keep in mind this can happen to anyone--guys included, as I've known plenty of guys who have the problem of another guy telling them they are having these thoughts about them--of course, homosexuality is obviously Biblically wrong. But, how do you deal with someone violating you within their own mind and telling you about it?*
I think telling someone about it is obscene and reprehensible, and that person is sick. But it's not quite the same level as rape which is an extremely traumatic and physically violent crime. But what do I know. I'm just a baby alien.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,882
8,151
113
#78
Every time I see this thread I am reminded of those teen guys who have waifu, anime girls they are infatuated with. As a point of honor they never masturbate while watching these anime girls.

Personally I don't get it. The girls don't even exist, so how could these boys offend them?
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
5,557
2,193
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#79
I had a dream....
But instead of it being about sex it was about sales being higher than projected....and it made me feel tired so I went deeper asleep and didn't wake up for a couple of hours.
 

Dirtman

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2022
1,151
441
83
#80
Rape if a horrific trauma. It does a serious disservice to rape victims to compare words being said to actual physical attack and rape.
That being said you should avoid this person. Because things do escalate.
I also dont think there is a wrong way to react to such disgusting words. Maybe you should carry a flamethrower around. So you can ward off such folks.