Can Men and Women Be Platonic Friends?

[TheNarrowPath]

With somebody who is this much of a blowhard, how can I pass it up?

You keep talking about people ganging up on the guy. If a large group of people all say the same thing, you might want to look closer at the person they are talking about and see if maybe they are right.

If one person says something negative about a video game, I generally overlook it. If there are many reviews about a certain game having a weak story line, I might watch a YouTube video before I buy that game and see if maybe they all right about it.

Thats exactly what I did. I looked at what you all had to say then I looked at what he had to say. I dont care if people disagree with each other, but the slandering part is playground stuff and if you have to do it, do it in private 1v1.
Thats all I have to say so peace be with you.

 

[Gojira]

No idea what a bed site is? Ive met Christians online before but they were on a not so Christian site. I think some of you guys have anger issues tbh. Seems to be a bit of pent up frustrations too....
I like what you said about making peace with offenders. It might also be a good idea to note that the offended part eg If you offend me, thats actually on me how I react to it..do you agree? Actually when I get my private privileges I will get real honest with you but dont blame me okay if you dont like it I just think some of what happened in this thread should have been said in the private messages.

It is how you decide to interpret events that can "make" you angry or not. But, that kind of cognitive self-control is difficult.

Marriage bed site. Christian site for married Christians and their sexual relationships with their spouses.

 

[Gojira]

Hey thanks for that I read all of it. You have a listening flaw. There I said it. Let me explain, earlier today I said to you that you are attractive when you dont talk about your ex or others. It was a compliment a true compliment to encourage you to do more of the same. Now you have inserted another insult about Caleb. Now you guys want honesty right?
You have to be able to receive that honesty. It is not attractive for men and women to talk about their exes or others in a negative light. So I dont understand why you chose to take another stab at him? To get your point across you didnt have to.
This is what happens when you ask for honesty. So now I leave myself open to your reply. All in the name of understanding each other. Again these comments are better suited for a private setting so that the thread is not derailed.

Well said.

 

[Gojira]

Speaking of which, @Live4Him3 and @Lynx , if you guys are able to PM me, I need to discuss something with you in private. I am feeling a nagging feeling inside, and sometimes I attribute this to conviction or leading from God. It would be one-on-one, not all three of us at once. If you cannot, then maybe we could work something else out? I don't know. But, I feel like I've got to try here.

 

[Lynx]

Speaking of which, @Live4Him3 and @Lynx , if you guys are able to PM me, I need to discuss something with you in private. I am feeling a nagging feeling inside, and sometimes I attribute this to conviction or leading from God. It would be one-on-one, not all three of us at once. If you cannot, then maybe we could work something else out? I don't know. But, I feel like I've got to try here.

Say what?

I'm not usually real big on private messaging. But I do appreciate you asking first. Sure, start a PM.

 

[Gojira]

Say what?

I'm not usually real big on private messaging. But I do appreciate you asking first. Sure, start a PM.

I cannot. I do not have the membership requirement. I thought you did? We spoke a while back on old Macs.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

I think there has been a lot of room for misinterpretation here. I dont think it needed to get competitive but maybe this is what men do? If there were no women on this site would there be all this jostling around for first place?

The annoying thing for me is I cant speak honestly because people get offended. I paid for one year subscription but I cant see myself lasting that long. Its hard to read tone accurately here. Its very easy for people to jump on the bandwagons of others and take up that cause. It doesnt make for good reading or even a Christian environment. I can see why most of the senior members stay out of the singles forum.

Some of you are so simple. (Don't worry. Being simple isn't a bad thing.) I wasn't being hostile. I was trolling him. You think I fight with weak people? LMAOOOOOOO. C'mon. Please try to relax. Not all men are down to butt heads at the slightest feeling of disrespect. All I know is that Live4Him3 didn't sleep well last night, that's for sure. I slept like a baby. Poor guy. He has no sack to hold his peas in. His ex suffered living with him. No clue how she stayed around long enough to have three kids with him. She suffered. Anyway, I speak my mind. It doesn't mean I'm upset. It's just me seeing through people and then once in a while I'll just tell them what I see because apparently they don't see it themselves.

Someone else told me he was attacked by the same women attacking me in the singles forum and also by some men in the Bible study forum. He said he was smart, handsome, etc., and these ugly and bitter Medusas started crawling all over him. I think he gave up but I told him I like to troll people who take themselves too seriously, so I might list 200 more things that women like about me. LMAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOO.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

I like you Gojira and I like you Live4him3. I also like SonsOfCaleb. You all got something to say but come at it from different angles. You cant all be right all of the time so maybe give each other some slack here and there. i think the key is not to take it personal, to bow out of a thread before it gets personal...I only get annoyed when it looks like a group of people against one person. Im seeing people who cant humble themselves and take correction. I cant even name them cause they will get offended. And they are pointing at the other person. If we cannot take correction from our sister or brother in Christ then how can we take correction from God?

Please don't say you like me. Don't lump me with losers. You can like me quietly, but don't go telling that to losers or lumping into the same basket as them. Don't do that again.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

No idea what a bed site is? Ive met Christians online before but they were on a not so Christian site. I think some of you guys have anger issues tbh. Seems to be a bit of pent up frustrations too....
I like what you said about making peace with offenders. It might also be a good idea to note that the offended part eg If you offend me, thats actually on me how I react to it..do you agree? Actually when I get my private privileges I will get real honest with you but dont blame me okay if you dont like it I just think some of what happened in this thread should have been said in the private messages.

I have like 15 people blocked, but I bet Live4Him3 is digging a grave in his backyard for me tonight. LMAO. That guy is a LUUUUZZZRRRR. Okay, I'm just having a chuckle. Look, I have tough skin. Really tough skin. But some things are just heartbreakingly funny. Live4Him3 has no balls. I tried to bear with him at first. But his level of crazy (ie. catering to women when no woman wants him while hating on a guy that women want), I just had to say something: "Am I not magnificent?" LMAO. I bet he did back handsprings in place all night he was so ticked off. LOOOOOOOL. Okay, I'm done chuckling. Don't ask me to be nice or I'll just put you on ignore. Nice produces Live4Him3s and this world doesn't need any more of those, in Jesus's name. Amen.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself; But the simple pass on, and are punished (Proverbs 27:12).

I'm too busy to know what that means. Are you male or female? Speak male: just say what you want to say.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

Nothing wrong and everything good on your list of 25.

The problem is, you need a #26. Compassion.
No one gets how necessary it feels to lash back at the person that insults you more than me. But…
If what you say about the other guy is true, then all those other great qualities, without compassion, don’t really mean much.

My friend, don't lag behind. Before I listed those 25 things I said, "Let's list a few reasons you should be angry." Those 25 were only a few. I can list the next 100 if you'd like me to. I'm sure you've made mistakes in your life and know a lot of people who've made mistakes in their lives. One of the biggest reasons people make mistakes is pride or thinking they know/understand more than they really do.

Within the few 25 things I listed, you can see 'compassion'. Let me help you so next time you read something I write, you have better insight: when I talk to someone(s) who I know wants to listen, I speak very plainly; but when I talk to someone(s) who I know doesn't want to listen or to a group of people and one or two don't want to listen, I use language that's frankly hard to decipher for most people. If you think I'm exaggerating, I can show you.

My younger brother and I made up what we called the "A-Language" when we were growing up. We used this language whenever we were around our parents and didn't want them to know what we were saying. We playfully said the CIA probably couldn't decode it, but all it was was inserting the 'A' (or 'aee') sound wherever there was a vowel sound (a, e, i, o, u), therefore, "A-Language". In the Bible, Jesus spoke parables to people when He realized many didn't want to hear. When you do this, it's your way of conserving your energy, your words, and the things you treasure that some others might not. So yes, I write in a way that can easily be mistaken. (Eg. "Am I not magnificent?" This was like the highest form of ridicule, but it was ridicule with compassion the way you pity a toddler or a puppy that does something stupid.)

So, I know people who don't want to listen by their reactions; and I know people whose hearts are hard because they don't understand. I save my energy this way. So, if I list 25 things, I actually have 200 to list. Lol. What do you think that means? Oh, and I meant those things I said to Live4Him3. I just didn't/don't have any feelings of animosity towards him. I pity him in the realest way. There's not a woman on this planet that would want to be with him, and he can't figure out it's because of the way he is, not because women don't appreciate 'nice guys'. They don't! LOL. Okay. I'm out. Read things slowly. If you can't discern beyond what you're accustomed to (ie. "Anyone who talks like this is angry; anyone who acts like this is arrogant", etc.), you won't be growing in discernment, and you'll never be able to see beyond a person's exerior.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

My ideal spouse would have a very impressive résumé.

F yeah, dude. No negotiating that. If I'm giving up 100 women for just one, she better be perfect.

And to the rest of what you said, I shrugged. Like, everyone knows all that. But people who are ugly, feel ugly, are insecure, have an inferiority complex, or who don't feel they measure up don't abide by the rules. You know about Cain and Abel, about Joseph and 10 of his older brothers, about David and King Saul, about Jesus and the Pharisees, etc. If they say, "Why?" Why? Just shrug 'cause it's human nature. Lol.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

The contexts are different. One context was he really wasn’t bragging hence why he didn’t put his picture up so that people would know him by his words, not his face.

The other context reads like a joke to me because the person he was responding to was humble-bragging.

I've talked ogres down. There's nothing like ridicule to sit down an arrogant person. I said ridicule. Trolling is different. I can pick at and bully people because I see through people. I know the vulnerabilities, the pretensions, the real feelings vs. the feigned feelings, etc. I absolutely hate to aim words at the heart of the issue but if I do it, I usually keep it very tame. I mix sarcasm with seriousness and I have a laugh myself. LOL.

When I detect unwarranted arrogance or fraud long enough, I might have something to say. Might. But to me, it's all love. I don't fight the weak, the fragile, and the vulnerable. When they start yabbering (lol), I'm reminded of what the king of Israel said in response to the king of Syria who was threatening to 'come and beat him up': "Let not the one who puts on his armor boast like the one who takes it off" (1Kings 20). I know what strength, authority, and overcomer look like. Lots of people running around pretending like they're strong when they've never seen battle, but I recognize a fighter or person of authority when I see one. So, I'm usually simultaneously frowning and chuckling while I'm responding to or putting certain people on ignore.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

Youre continuing to do what makes you unattractive and that is badmouth others. How can you not see this? Please stop it. And if Caleb or anyone is doing it please stop it.
I dont need protection from anyone here tbh I had to rely on God to give me strength because I had come across so called nice guys online and they were the ones who were out to use me.
Christian women should not be getting themselves into trouble where they need or rely on their husband to get them out of a bad situation. There is a big difference between protecting a wife from an armed intruder in your home and a woman who disagrees with a man online.
I wasnt trying to upset you about the listening flaw. I have it too with my own family. It is something Im trying to correct.

Oh man, that must be Live4Him3. My God, this guy. He's trying to ping my location tonight. Maybe send me a packaged bomb. Oh please, Live4Him3. Please don't. Jesus Christ. And TheNarrowPath, don't tell me what I can or can't do. I'm not badmouthing anyone, but even if I was, I do it at my own discretion. Why would you even tell me that? You've lumped me with milknuts twice now. Why do you feel like you have to be a mediator? We're all adults here. I don't care for weak men, and weak men damn sure don't like me. Lol. But stop trying to make peace between me and anyone and don't advise me on anything. I mean what the hell. You need to take that to another thread besides mine and find some idiot men who will say, "Okay, thanks, mom" when you advise them. How stupid is that. Go talk to whoever you're talking to (Live4Him3 probably) and stop spreading his toxicity on my thread. Don't mention me when you're talking to that loser.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

Are you coming into his threads looking to instigate tho? It seems like it does affect you, you keep returning to his threads and actively hoping he can read your replies. Why does he affect you that way? Or is it just entertainment where you do your gets out popcorn thing. He actually had valid points to make. Kinda like how a lot of people dissed Trump for the grab by the p remark yet Trump had policies that changed peoples lives. Why cant you ignore when he brags. You take the bait tho.
I might just have to answer the next thread and thats it. Not even bother reading what others have to say.

You need to take that private with whoever is whining and moaning (lol). Private. That's why I put people on ignore, so they can talk to me in private and I never have to hear it.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

As a rule no but there are always exceptions to the rules based on the people involved. I know with me i do and can pull it off nicely because im not giving too much of myself over or trying to get her either. If you know what you're doing and if you're aware enough about both peoples feelings and position you can bend the rules.

If it's between two lonely, thirsty date crazy people then NOPE it'll never work,they won't be platonic for long.

Lol. Thirsty date crazy people. Everyone is thirsty, tbh. 'Thirsty' is just said in a way that everyone wants to think they aren't that. We're all thirsty. Look at the people around you: thirsty for sex, thirsty for attention, thirsty for sex and attention.

One of my close friends is a single mother with three kids. Yeah. Nothing is going to happen there though I told her one day I'll find her a godly husband... even if I have to kidnap him and soften him up in my basement for a few months first. No, but really I'm going to make sure she gets one of those one in a million men whose heart-- having been reformed by the Almighty-- wants to marry a woman with kids. God can do all things.

But I'll definitely talk seriously to Him to do it for my friend and her kids. Her ex-husband left her for another woman after being abusive. I told her he should pray he and I never meet. His only good option would be to just lie on the ground and take it because if he offered any resistance (which he probably would), he'd end up tangled up in knots. By the way, this friend has let me know that she doesn't want anything romantic with me. I'm actually thrilled when women say that (if it's true) because constant hunger (thirst) only shows our animalistic nature. Self-control, not always drooling after everything that looks good, shows that human beings are in fact civilized.

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

Regarding the question posed in the OP Title:

Yes. I have several female friends, and our relationship is based on our Christian faith, and very platonic, I assure you.

Soon as you said they're christian I started having doubts. Relationship based on christian faith or based on Christ? The former is like a rusted old tin can that is hardly good for anything. The latter never fails.

 

[Hazelelponi]

I think there has been a lot of room for misinterpretation here. I dont think it needed to get competitive but maybe this is what men do? If there were no women on this site would there be all this jostling around for first place?

The annoying thing for me is I cant speak honestly because people get offended. I paid for one year subscription but I cant see myself lasting that long. Its hard to read tone accurately here. Its very easy for people to jump on the bandwagons of others and take up that cause. It doesnt make for good reading or even a Christian environment. I can see why most of the senior members stay out of the singles forum.

Please don't leave... I'm a married woman and I post in fellowship in these forums and while sometimes you just have to sigh this isn't a bad forum to be on overall.

Pick and choose the threads you contribute to and pick and choose what battles you get into, if any at all, and you'll be fine.

Like real life, you won't befriend everyone but you may find a few...

 

[Gojira]

Some of you are so simple. (Don't worry. Being simple isn't a bad thing.) I wasn't being hostile. I was trolling him. You think I fight with weak people? LMAOOOOOOO. C'mon. Please try to relax. Not all men are down to butt heads at the slightest feeling of disrespect. All I know is that Live4Him3 didn't sleep well last night, that's for sure. I slept like a baby. Poor guy. He has no sack to hold his peas in. His ex suffered living with him. No clue how she stayed around long enough to have three kids with him. She suffered. Anyway, I speak my mind. It doesn't mean I'm upset. It's just me seeing through people and then once in a while I'll just tell them what I see because apparently they don't see it themselves.

Someone else told me he was attacked by the same women attacking me in the singles forum and also by some men in the Bible study forum. He said he was smart, handsome, etc., and these ugly and bitter Medusas started crawling all over him. I think he gave up but I told him I like to troll people who take themselves too seriously, so I might list 200 more things that women like about me. LMAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOO.

Ya know what I see? Not that you asked... I see all of us contributing to unGodly nonsense here. You just verbally raped this guy, and I'm no fan of his. He also launched insults at you.

People... I don't think Jesus would just sit by and watch us throw insults at each other. Do you? How do you think He'd respond to this? By taking your side? I don't think so, even if your case were just, because insults are not designed for constructive, but destructive purposes. We are to edify, even if that edification involves criticism. But, criticism is not insulting. Insults are designed to attack, and that has its origin in our sinful pride.

Can we knock if off please? Some of you are sarcastic to a fault. You know who you are. Some of you seem to think it's Godly sparring to hurl insults -- not constructive criticisms -- at your brother or sister. Some of you are passive aggressive. Me? I can be hypersensitive and quite direct, at the same time. Sometimes I read something too quickly and miss a meaning or misinterpret what I read. That has caused problems. We ALL need improvement here. So, can we consider trying to show one another a little more grace? No more "popcorn" (geez that's not cliche'd by now) when two people are going to argue here, okay? No more cutting into each other because you have to defend your pride.

We're ALL guilty of this. I am trying to bite my tongue, and trying to make peace here with a few brothers, if possible. We all have to whip that pride in the butt and not let it act like it's our friend. Our sinful pride is not to be defended. It is not our friend, no matter how much it might feel like it is. It is our enemy and the enemy of those around us.

I dunno... Not sure how coherently this was written. But... maybe something can be gleaned from it so that an unbeliever in our midst might actually see God being glorified by us?

 

[SonsOfCaleb]

"Though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the first principles of the oracles of God; and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For everyone who partakes only of milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, for he is a babe. But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil" (Hebrews 5:12-14).

I don't know where you all live, but I live in America, and I can tell you without any exaggeration that America is spiritually and morally in a very high state of emergency. Someone sent me the following today by a Pastor Darren Smith:

"About a month ago during a time of great trial in my walk Jesus the Lord spoke to me about being a true follower of Him, not a nominal believer but a true follower. The word I heard was that America is the hardest place in the world to be a believer. This came as a shock to me, for I had often thought and commented on how easy we have it here. But what the Lord opened to me is how hard it is to walk with Him in this land of comfort. It is so easy to be distracted by the cares of this world in our nation, in fact so easy that we have created our own American doctrine to make us feel better about our lack of devotion to Jesus."

There's a reason I always spell the word christian with a small c. Because there is no Jesus Christ in it. On this thread and forums, we can get mature and be mature, or we can stay in a selfish character, and I can get silly, ridiculous, and cocky. For American christians, it's way past time to grow up, mature, repent, and retrace the way to the right Path (Jeremiah 6:16). In America, people everywhere are suffering and dying because American christians are too self-centered to care. This level of immaturity is not the way things are meant to be.