Christian, virgin men... perceived as gay by the world?

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CC_Bride

Guest
#21
#21
I think its helpful to note that Jesus too was ridiculed. Just the fact that he had genuine sister like relationships with women was hugely anti cultural. Not to mention they accused him of being a drunk and hanging out with tax collectors (ie therefore cheating his way out of paying taxes) and with prostitutes (ie therefore getting free lap dances). This being all the opinion of self righteous people who thought they knew better and had the right to judge his lifestyle from their screwed perspective when it shouldve been the other way round.
 
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lavender_lily

Guest
#22
#22
My fiance is somewhat shy and he has only a few close friends out of choice. He has kept himself a virgin and will until we marry. Before he and I got into a serious dating relationship he mainly hung out with one guy friend. He had dropped out of public school (he's now in college with me YAY!) and he stuck with one good male friend from church. They hung out a lot before he moved to another town about 30 mins away from that friend. While still living in the same town. Many people accused them of being gay, which they are far from, only because they would see them walking around together or doing things together. They seem to have more of a Jonathan and David sort of friendship. I think there's nothing wrong with guys being able to show love amongst each other... just it needs to be the appropriate kind. We are called to show the love of Christ to everyone. There's nothing wrong with having a close bond amongst friends of the same gender. Though I don't think it's right to be passionately or sexually involved with someone of the same gender.... God made Adam and Eve... not Adam and Steve.
 
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CC_Bride

Guest
#23
#23
lavender_lily said:
My fiance is somewhat shy and he has only a few close friends out of choice. He has kept himself a virgin and will until we marry. Before he and I got into a serious dating relationship he mainly hung out with one guy friend. He had dropped out of public school (he's now in college with me YAY!) and he stuck with one good male friend from church. They hung out a lot before he moved to another town about 30 mins away from that friend. While still living in the same town. Many people accused them of being gay, which they are far from, only because they would see them walking around together or doing things together. They seem to have more of a Jonathan and David sort of friendship. I think there's nothing wrong with guys being able to show love amongst each other... just it needs to be the appropriate kind. We are called to show the love of Christ to everyone. There's nothing wrong with having a close bond amongst friends of the same gender. Though I don't think it's right to be passionately or sexually involved with someone of the same gender.... God made Adam and Eve... not Adam and Steve.
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Hmm I can definitely see the hypocrisy of the people who gave your fiance and his friend that accusation. I doubt they would have said the same thing about two young women hanging out together and having a close friendship. Todays sad cultural norm for men is they 'can't' have in depth friendships, apparently men must only make 'friends' through masculine activity (ie work, sports). But those friendships are only based around the activity not the persons. Some men, CAN have in depth relationships through activity, because thats how they relate. Although its not common, women can pursue friendships that way. But typically women pursue face to face relational friendships, and because women do it more and men who do it are a social minority its perceived as a female thing, hence the 'gay' accusations.

When you think about it, a secular group of people calling you gay because your doing a perceived female thing, they are in fact discriminating against the gay community themselves by thinking that gay men are a effeminate which is not at all true. Those idiots have just been watching way too much Project Runway lol.
 
prodigious1one

prodigious1one

Member
#24
Feb 10, 2011
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#24
@ CC_Bride

Wow, your fiancé's story is amazing. Thanks for sharing it! He had a lot of courage and I'm encouraged to do right by God because of it. Thank you too for staying true to God.

Aaron
 
prodigious1one

prodigious1one

Member
#25
Feb 10, 2011
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#25
@ Lavender_Lily

Thanks for your story too. Yeah, I've always been shy and I've never had a lot of friends, only a few. Most of the time I felt that I had no close friend or best friend. But most of my life, I've always been very protective of myself. I didn't want to expose myself to the wrong kinds of people that I encountered in New York City when I was a child. I've been opening up more little by little, but I tend to only let the "right ones in."

Aaron
 
prodigious1one

prodigious1one

Member
#26
Feb 10, 2011
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#26
@ CC_Bride

You're funny! I like to watch Project Runway, but I haven't watched it in a very long time. I tend to only watch TV online now. I don't even know when TV shows come on anymore.

The lesson that I am learning from everyone is "be true to God" and worry about nothing that anyone says to you. Thanks heaps everyone.

Aaron
 
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CC_Bride

Guest
#27
#27
prodigious1one said:
@ CC_Bride

Wow, your fiancé's story is amazing. Thanks for sharing it! He had a lot of courage and I'm encouraged to do right by God because of it. Thank you too for staying true to God.

Aaron
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Umm I didn't mention my fiance, it was my ex boyfriend.. lol. I mentioned him because I respected (and still to this day) the huge uphill battle he had to deal, with daily with pressure from his parents, brothers, family, colleagues to follow their culture (heavy drinking, unemployment, criminal activity, prostitutes and strippers etc). And when he didn't it shocked everyone and they hated and were jealous of him at the same time.

So its important to understand that you could be in a very athiest secular culture and still you can experience verbal harassment over your character.
 
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CC_Bride

Guest
#28
#28
prodigious1one said:
@ CC_Bride

You're funny! I like to watch Project Runway, but I haven't watched it in a very long time. I tend to only watch TV online now. I don't even know when TV shows come on anymore.

The lesson that I am learning from everyone is "be true to God" and worry about nothing that anyone says to you. Thanks heaps everyone.

Aaron
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First focus on Gods opinion, but also have the opinions of godly people you trust nearby. Sometimes God speaks something to us through those people so its important not to completely be totally ambivalent of opinions, but only listen to opinions by Christians you trust.
 
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lavender_lily

Guest
#29
#29
@ prodiguos1one

I think that you were talking about my fiance? And thanks, I'm glad that sharing his experiences could help you :)
He has opened up now that he's been in college and he's gained more friends, but he sometimes stays weekends to hang out with main male buddy and his family. He still walks around with him, though I don't think they've been made fun of for quite some time.
My fiance and I can both relate to your shyness, minimal friends, and fear of being influenced by the wrong people. I went through several years of not having any friends besides family. I allowed myself to get so couped up I didn't want to go very far from my house without a family member near me. My fiance (whom I met at church) was very patient with me.... and it took him nearly a year before I was willing to trust him. I was pretty much a "touch me not" sort of person and socially awkward when we met.

I think that it is good that you are allowing yourself to open up to others. I think that slowly over time you will feel more relaxed and personable around others. Just be patient with yourself. If you keep yourself away from people... it will eat away at your opportunities to show godly love towards them and plant seeds of Truth. God made us to be relational beings. We are to grow in our relationship with God and to daily mature in being more like Him. He wants to reach out to those in needs/lost. We are all sinners and we all deserve the punishment of death. But Christ came to seek and save the lost, and took that punishment upon himself. In doing so, we are able to have that relationship with God we were meant to have.
It's true that we need to be careful around the unsaved, and make sure that we aren't being the ones influenced to turn away from God. We are called to live in the World but not to be OF it. Let God guide you, pray that He'll show you wisdom in your relationships, and He'll not give you more than you can handle. Please don't let fear and insecurity get in the way of opportunities to help others. You can make an impact :D
Do focus on having godly friends.... people that you can be advised by, prayed for/with, be accountable to, and share love C: I think your relationship with God will be deepen this way, too. It will help you feel more confident in yourself and Him.

And yes... focus on what God says... not so much on what other's say.
 
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lavender_lily

Guest
#30
#30
I agree CC_Bride. I also think it's silly how men are only thought to bond by activity. I think that even in male relationships, there can be a spiritual, social, emotional, and intellectual bond. Yet, they weren't meant to have the sense of "oneness" that God gives to godly male+female relationships.
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#31
#31
I have a good friend of 38 years known now, met'em when I was 5 years old and he was 6 and we have, had our ups and downs, but stayed friends. He got married at age 25 and has kids now and we are still good friends, do things together and never ONCE has anything other than just good guy friends . I helped a kid who was 20 at church 2-3 years and I was 34 at the time and people could think whatever they wanted but I was simply being a friend as the Lord led to help get going in life and I give all glory to God but He did great things through my time helping him, including Job Corp for him getting to go to.

Surely people could have thought I was gay to take on that kind of a relationship but I was not ,and, to be honest, when I first met this 20 year old kid struggling in life, I never ONCE thought anything but the Lord leading me and helping him. The 'gay' word has NEVER been in my vocabulary. I know it is for some and I pray for them that say they are gay and can't change. I don't know, but I do NOT judge others (unless righteously IF they are being mean to the poor and needy because scripture says we should do 'that.') .
 
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Countrysword

Guest
#32
#32
No I don't. I think it's a great thing to wait for the right person, and I would never see it as a gay thing. I'm waiting too, and yes I've been poked fun at more than once for it.
 
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lavender_lily

Guest
#33
#33
GreenNnice, I'm glad that you were dedicated to bonding with men in a healthy manner and helping them. May God continue to use you to be a loyal friend to others :)
 
prodigious1one

prodigious1one

Member
#34
Feb 10, 2011
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#34
Countrysword said:
No I don't. I think it's a great thing to wait for the right person, and I would never see it as a gay thing. I'm waiting too, and yes I've been poked fun at more than once for it.
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Hi, Countrysword,

thanks for keeping your chastity. I wonder if there are many virgin Christians still waiting for marriage? My stepbrother and my younger half-brother have had sex already. They are both younger than I am. I'm disappointed that they didn't wait. :(

I pray to stay faithful to God and not give in to sexual temptation. I really want to try romantic love by God's way. I want to see if remaining a virgin until marriage will lead to a great married life. I'm willing to go the distance.

Aaron
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#35
#35
lavender_lily said:
GreenNnice, I'm glad that you were dedicated to bonding with men in a healthy manner and helping them. May God continue to use you to be a loyal friend to others :)
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el_el, Everything in life we do for God, with the power of the Spirit in us, is made pretty , smells with the scent of a lavender field, is the most wonderful of all colors imagined, moves like a cheetah after a gazelle, is indescribably and unspeakably pure, blesses in ways unseen but felt and realized, with utter joy. :)

prodigious1one said:
Hi, Countrysword,

thanks for keeping your chastity. I wonder if there are many virgin Christians still waiting for marriage? My stepbrother and my younger half-brother have had sex already. They are both younger than I am. I'm disappointed that they didn't wait. :(

I pray to stay faithful to God and not give in to sexual temptation. I really want to try romantic love by God's way. I want to see if remaining a virgin until marriage will lead to a great married life. I'm willing to go the distance.

Aaron
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The power of God is the power that moves mountains from faith smallest as a mustard seed, the smallest seed on earth. Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe. Just a little faith and trust in God, and then, obedience, will bring untold blessings to your being on Earth, prod1 . Feed yourself with His almighty words from His Word, 'it' will keep you and gird you, refreshed and blessed, the baying Enemy at you will not be your call. The Truth will set you free, and, when you are FREE you are free indeed . :)
 
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mmlj29

Guest
#36
#36
God bless all of you who are deciding to wait until marriage.

1Co 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
1Co 6:17 But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.
1Co 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
1Co 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
1Co 6:20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
 
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EmeraudePrecieuse

Junior Member
#37
Apr 20, 2015
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#37
prodigious1one said:
Hi all, I just wondered if anyone else thinks that the world perceives Christian, virgin men as... gay? Or maybe I'm just gay or bisexual and I'm giving people that impressions? Does anyone have input on this subject? Aaron
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Hi Aaron! Hi everybodythere! First of all, I just want to know you have all my respect and consideration being a christian virgin man in those days. Since this post was made in 2011, I don't know if your situation has changed. But I want to encourage you anyway. I think it is a beautiful thing and you have made the best choice. You can be proud of you. Your wife and children will be soooo blessed ! And you also! May be you have found her, I don't know. Anyway, Just hold on, and stay true to your faith to yourself. You wil reap all the benefit. Plenty of others can testify. The more important: You have the approbation of JESUS. That's what matters most. No matter what the world say! They are wrong anyway and they suffer the consequences of their bad choices. You don't have to listen to them. IGNORE them ! It is not an easy thing to do and I admire this. I am 33 years old, a woman and still virgin. I am waiting till marriage. I have found out this site very interestig and helpful. Other virgins both boys and girls share their testimonies and. It is really helpful. God bless you ! Feel free to send me a private message !
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#38
Aug 13, 2014
25,357
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#38
Of all the zombie threads I have ever seen disinterred, this is one of the top five weirdest.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#39
#39
Lynx said:
Of all the zombie threads I have ever seen disinterred, this is one of the top five weirdest.
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Oh, believe me, Lynx. There are far weirder threads than this that have been resurrected. Argh!

And just to stay on topic. Yes, I've been called gay countless times by people because I'm not bonking girls left right and centre - or ever. It used to get to me, but now I just don't pay any attention. I guess it comes with the territory.
 
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