Well they should potentially be prepared to give the gift of their virginty to a non-virgin mainly because true love and an entire lifetime together is more important.
It's also pretty poor to say someone who hasn't remained a virgin might have treated their virginty with contempt or carelessness, fact is even when it is a consensual act it can be through coersion or a mistake bought on by many things, the weight of the world in general leads us all to mistakes so there doesn't have to be contempt or carelessness involved for a mistake to be made, hence why a little forgiveness and an open-mind is appreciated when a mistake is made.
It's not about thinking a virgin shouldn't in turn demand a virgin in marriage, it's more that they ought to at least stay open to the fact that they may develop a strong attraction to someone who isn't a virgin anymore and they shouldn't turn away from that relationship which might have been right for them purely on the basis of that one mistake, no matter what type of mistake it was, I think it's asking for misery to turn away a person who could be your soul mate for that reason.
I've said on this forum many times it's right for everyone to have standards and hopes for what they want in a mate but they shouldn't ever be so rigid on things like this, truth is no-one knows who, if anyone, God has prepared for them and holding to any absolute standard just means you might miss them.
Maybe everyone who wants a vrigin will eventually get one, doesn't mean they'll be the right person in the long run, focus too much one on or two qualities in a person and you run the risk of missing the bigger picture, suddenly you're 80 years old thinking it was your lot in life to be alone, when perhaps the truth is your soul mate passed you by and had only that one deeply regretted sexual experience when they were young and foolish but you couldn't allow yourself to see past it.
I am sorry, but there's a lot of foundational thought processes, almost doctrine-like stuff, that I strongly disagree with (and I did a LOT of research on this particular topic recently).
First- You assume you can't help who you are attracted and get close to. I think this one is common sense, but you can choose to not fall deeply in love with someone ahead of time ~_o Loving is an active choice, especially in this sense ~_o
Second- "The One" and "Soul Mate." This is a very debatable topic, and if you ask you can give your reply to what I'm about to say and then ask me not to debate it back, and that's OK, but I'll attempt to address it. There is NO Biblical support for "The One," or a "Soul Mate." You CHOOSE who you end up with. Plenty of Bible verses saying "And he chose this woman," and "Let them marry who they choose" and stuff. There is no divine "One" person made especially for you.
I think the entire concept is a wordly concept, with a wide variety of effects, positive and negative. For married Christian couples, they can say "God made my partner special just for me." In one sense, yes- as soon as you say "I do," you ARE made for each other, whether you change or not, whether you end up liking each other or not. It's who you are with, PERIOD. there are exceptions with abuse and cheating and the like, of course.
However, it also has negative effects. "I married the wrong person!" The idea leads to cheating and divorce. It also gives some people a false hope, thinking someone is "The ONE," and ends up in a bad relationship, or being more devastated than normal when something goes wrong. People keep waiting for "The One" feeling for someone, and never finds it, because "The One" DOESN'T EXIST. You look, you find, you choose, and the Bible supports that.
There are SOME cases where God "chooses" partners for someone (sometimes specifically, sometimes nonspecific and indirectly). However, this is the exception, not the rule.
And just reminding you- Feel free to respond to that how you wish, and if you feel like it's too far off-topic from the original point of the thread, simply ask me to drop it and I will ^_^
