Confession Thread.

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Jullianna

Guest
#41
#41
rachelsedge said:
I confess: At this point in my life, I don't really want a typical wedding. I don't want to spend thousands of dollars on one day. I don't want to feed 100+ people afterwards. I don't want a million pictures. I don't want bridesmaids or frilly things.

Last night, my friends and I watched The Prince of Egypt. When Moses and Zipporah got married, I thought, "That's what I want mine to be like." A simple white dress, married under the stars by the mountains with a big bonfire in the back, some flower petals, married by my dad (he's a pastor, he's allowed to :) ); just a wonderful get together on a beautiful, warm spring night.

I know, "But you're a girl!", and shouldn't I have been dreaming about the best wedding ever since I was 4, and looking at magazines and picking out dresses, but nope. I'm not even trying to be a "wedding hipster", I just...really don't want the whole shebang. It seems like too much. And it's totally okay for others that do, I'm not putting them down at all, just saying that my confession is that I want it to be as simple as possible.
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Misty77 said:
Exactly! My second wedding is going to be a barbecue at my parents' lake house where I'll wear a whitish sundress and flip flops. Then honeymooning at the winery down the road. Simple and fun with awesome people, and good food, and and great wine.

All I need now is the groom. =)
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I'd like to get married on the beach just before sunset in a turquoise sundress (my favorite color :) ) with daisies in my hair, preferably just me, my man, a minister and immediate family if they'd like to be there. Then have a BBQ with family and friends in the backyard when we get home. :)
 
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just_monicat

Senior Member
#42
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
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#42
Jullianna said:
I'd like to get married on the beach just before sunset in a turquoise sundress (my favorite color :) ) with daisies in my hair, preferably just me, my man, a minister and immediate family if they'd like to be there. Then have a BBQ with family and friends in the backyard when we get home. :)
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i love december weddings. trees with snow on them. icicles.

i won't be wearing a sundress. but most likely, boots. : )
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#43
#43
I confess...
I'm not terribly upset or sad that my marriage is over. I think it's been over for a very long time, and the last few years were just me going through the motions, occasionally trying to force the life back into it...but I finally realized, with how things were, there wasn't ever any life to it. If I'm honest with myself, it was over before it really began.

I'm more upset about the fact that it shouldn't have been that way, ever. It should have been...so many things...we should have been able to be a happy family.
I know every relationship has its problems, its struggles...and I'm not at all looking at this with a "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence" type of attitude.
I've been trying to see what the future would hold, had I stayed, and what I could see was pretty grim.

I feel bad that I don't feel worse...I feel bad that I see a brighter future on my own, just me and my babies, than I did with the father of my children.
I feel a little bad that I feel better now, in the midst of all this...uncertainty...than I did when I knew where my next meal was coming from.
 
Misty77

Misty77

Senior Member
#44
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
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#44
MissCris said:
I confess...
I'm not terribly upset or sad that my marriage is over. I think it's been over for a very long time, and the last few years were just me going through the motions, occasionally trying to force the life back into it...but I finally realized, with how things were, there wasn't ever any life to it. If I'm honest with myself, it was over before it really began.

I'm more upset about the fact that it shouldn't have been that way, ever. It should have been...so many things...we should have been able to be a happy family.
I know every relationship has its problems, its struggles...and I'm not at all looking at this with a "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence" type of attitude.
I've been trying to see what the future would hold, had I stayed, and what I could see was pretty grim.

I feel bad that I don't feel worse...I feel bad that I see a brighter future on my own, just me and my babies, than I did with the father of my children.
I feel a little bad that I feel better now, in the midst of all this...uncertainty...than I did when I knew where my next meal was coming from.
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You shouldn't feel "bad" about not feeling bad. Emotions simply are; they are neither good nor bad. You have a lot to process right now. For me, the first 6 months post divorce was awesome! I could eat what I wanted, go where I wanted, and live like I wanted. My marriage had been so controlling on so many levels (yes, at times I had to ask permission to go to the bathroom) that I was reveling in my new-found freedom. You are going to go through periods of grief, anger, depression, joy, acceptance, etc. on your way to healing. None of those emotions are wrong, though choosing bitterness and hate certainly are. These emotions are how you process what you are going through. Just make sure you have a good counselor and a support system. And of course, you have your cc community who loves you. =)
 
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Misty77

Misty77

Senior Member
#45
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
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#45
Confession:

I have always wanted the cliche Valentines Day. You know, with the flowers, the chocolates, cheap champagne, and something sparkly. Just that one evening of feeling really special to someone else. In my 33 years, including 10 years of marriage, I've never had that.
 
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just_monicat

Senior Member
#46
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
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#46
my confession:

with no kids, not being married and a semi-nomadic lifestyle, sometimes i feel like i'm not grown up yet. as if who i am, and what i do is somehow diminished in some way. because it's just me.

sometimes i still feel like i'm 22 in the best, but especially the worst ways.

and i hate it when people remind me of my age--as a means to remind me that "i shouldn't be wasting my time."

when was i wasting my time?
 
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Misty77

Misty77

Senior Member
#47
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
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#47
Confession:

I want to be Monicat when I grow up =)
 
K

keep_on_smiling

Guest
#48
#48
#1: I wish people would stop making excuses for bad behavior of others; it really is not helping.

#2: I wish parents wouldn't automatically think they know their children. I'm very frustrated with the "my child can do no wrong" mentality (no matter the age of the parent/child).
 
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GaryA

Guest
#49
#49
rachelsedge said:
Confession: Sometimes I wish I could be a guy for a day or so. Not in a cross dressing/transgendered way of wishing... But I want to know what it feels like to have a beard, to know how their thinking is different than mine, to have really short hair... Stuff like that. I think it would be interesting and give me a lot of perspective.
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This is a part of what marriage is all about - learning from each other...

As husband and wife get closer to each other, listen to each other, talk with each other, share thoughts and ideas with each other, etc. etc. etc. --- they can help each other to understand "what it is like to be the other one"...

And, that is about as close as you are going to get... ;)

:)
 
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Iris25

Guest
#50
#50
yeah i think there is a lot of the "feel good" stuff going around throughout "christian" churches. i used to go to a Pentecostal church and there was stuff i learned that was not in the bible. i now attend a Calvary chapel and have for many years. when i talk to people and they ask me what i am, i usually say a nondenominational christian, i read the bible and believe it to be the inherent word of god. the bible tells us to test the spirits as well so in the case of latter day saints, they just say have faith but their faith is blind faith not based on fact.
 
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AmmiAmmiel

Guest
#51
#51
I must confess: As it pertains to marriage, I feel that it shouldn't matter how religious someone is, as long as they are true to me and make me happy then it's suitable. The verse "it's better for a man to marry than to burn with passion" speaks volumes to me. I would rather marry an unbeliever than burn with passion in my singleness,..
 
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kenthomas27

Guest
#52
#52
seoulsearch said:
I understand and appreciate what you're saying, kenthomas, thank you. :) It's just that, if we're admitting some true confessions here, this is something that's always bothered me in the Christian circles... In my discouraged mind, it starts to sound like this (about both my own situation and others):

"Praise God that (your spouse died, you had that miscarriage, your child had that brain tumor, your husband is dying of cancer, your teenager is on drugs, your mother abandoned you) because without all that, you could have never become the person you are today!!! Think of all the people you can reach now because of (X, Y, and Z happening in your life.)"

I'm not meaning to sound ungrateful or go against the will of God, but it just doesn't exactly build my confidence for evangelism... Because I start to get REALLY angry when I hear people trying to "convert" others to Christianity by telling them how wonderful their life is now that they're a Christian. I understand it CAN be, but, as you said, the entire message has to be included, which also means denying ourselves and carrying our crosses.

I personally get really upset when I hear about ministries talking about how many people they "got saved". If they did, that's GREAT!!!! Of course I'm in full support of that. But what I always wonder is, have they been prepared enough to withstand the Christian walk in its entirety? (Cross-Carrying 101.) Will they still be an active Christian after 5, 10, or 15 years?
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Yeah - I see your point and I guess my "answer" was naïve. I don't think I know how to respond! i'll pray you come to understand these things.
 
N

NightRevan

Guest
#53
#53
just_monicat said:
my confession:

with no kids, not being married and a semi-nomadic lifestyle, sometimes i feel like i'm not grown up yet. as if who i am, and what i do is somehow diminished in some way. because it's just me.

sometimes i still feel like i'm 22 in the best, but especially the worst ways.

and i hate it when people remind me of my age--as a means to remind me that "i shouldn't be wasting my time."

when was i wasting my time?
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Well God loves who you are, so you are never diminished being that person, and anyone leading you to feel that way are the ones (even they don't mean, which I sure they probably don't) would see you diminished. Never worry about being who God made you to be, rejoice in all He made you, and don't listen to anything that would make you feel otherwise :D .
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#54
#54
Grace-Like-Rain said:
The only problem with not committing yourself to a specific church body is that it's harder to develop deeper relationships for the purpose of discipleship and accountability. (Or submission to church leadership.)
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Indeed. On the one hand, we are to be accountable to the saints as the saints are accountable to each one of us. On the other hand, we shouldn't become stagnant because then, we create niches that get out-of-hand.

In either case, I agree with you in that we should be active participants in the worship of God at least on a weekly basis, if not more. :)
 
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just_monicat

Senior Member
#55
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
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#55
NightRevan said:
Well God loves who you are, so you are never diminished being that person, and anyone leading you to feel that way are the ones (even they don't mean, which I sure they probably don't) would see you diminished. Never worry about being who God made you to be, rejoice in all He made you, and don't listen to anything that would make you feel otherwise :D .
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thanks for the kind words.

intellectually, this isn't a problem. the vast majority of the time, i love my life, and i love what God has blessed me with--and the freedoms i enjoy.

but when i listen to my friends discussing their lives, so complicated and flinty, i feel like i'm so... without grounding.

i've always had a nature of one who can easily could drop anything and go anywhere, anytime--i have an overnighter packed, always. and that's not a bad thing, i've had the opportunity to serve in ways i never could, had my life been different. i'm grateful for that.

but there are definite drawbacks to that lifestyle too. sometimes complications are good. : )
 
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D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#56
#56
just_monicat said:
i've always had a nature of one who can easily could drop anything and go anywhere, anytime--i have an overnighter packed, always. and that's not a bad thing, i've had the opportunity to serve in ways i never could, had my life been different. i'm grateful for that.

but there are definite drawbacks to that lifestyle too. but sometimes complications are good. : )
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I'm the same way. I have a kitty to take care of right now and I can't bear to leave him with anybody else.....he's very picky and doesn't like anybody else. If it wasn't for him, I'd be in Hawaii right now. I've done that before, just got a backpack full of clothes, a plane ticket to somewhere I want to go, and a few hundred bucks to take with me. I haven't been able to do it for a few years but I can't wait until my next adventure.
 
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just_monicat

Senior Member
#57
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
17
0
#57
Donkeyfish07 said:
I'm the same way. I have a kitty to take care of right now and I can't bear to leave him with anybody else.....he's very picky and doesn't like anybody else. If it wasn't for him, I'd be in Hawaii right now. I've done that before, just got a backpack full of clothes, a plane ticket to somewhere I want to go, and a few hundred bucks to take with me. I haven't been able to do it for a few years but I can't wait until my next adventure.
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you know what i just realized? if i were a guy, i'd probably not care about the whole thing (or at least care much less).

i think i hold this silly perception that women are supposed to be waaay bogged down with the details of daily life. aside from work, i keep things pretty streamlined and drama-free. i like it that way.

yeah, the pet thing can be a real issue. i hate leaving my sweet pup behind too. it's easier now that i have sitters that have dogs she likes to play with--far less guilt. : )
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#58
#58
just_monicat said:
you know what i just realized? if i were a guy, i'd probably not care about the whole thing (or at least care much less).

i think i hold this silly perception that women are supposed to be waaay bogged down with the details of daily life. aside from work, i keep things pretty streamlined and drama-free. i like it that way.

yeah, the pet thing can be a real issue. i hate leaving my sweet pup behind too. it's easier now that i have sitters that have dogs she likes to play with--far less guilt. : )
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Unless you have kids, why bog yourself down with anything? That's my philosophy :p
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#59
#59
MissCris said:
I confess... I feel bad that I don't feel worse...
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Oh my, welcome to the healing process! :)

I can surely relate to you, MissCris. For me, it all went down in one day. It's almost as if Romeo was dead and permanently gone, yet I didn't get to have a funeral.

I didn't even cry until about 2-3 weeks later when it all hit me that God had delivered me and my quiver full of blessing from the claws of death and shame. I remember staring out the window at an open blue sky as I prayed, Lord, I don't know why I don't feel bad for not crying more... ...and with that, I never again cried.

The Lord is good to you, MissCris. The Lord loves our children. The Lord is our Defender and our Provider. The Lord is our Honor and our permanent Home. The Lord will never leave you nor forsake you. The Lord is the Lover of our soul. :) :) :)
 
DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
#60
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
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#60
I get frustrated with people when they think they're being cute (or attempt humor) by nit picking a concept.

For instance, if someone says, "I like chocolate cake."

The nit picker then says in what they perceive to be a cute or teasing way, "What if it's a milk chocolate cake? Or what if it's a burnt chocolate cake?"


I just want to look at them and say, "Okay, I realize you think this is cute, and I realize you think you're the funny one in this group, but you're not."
 
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