Could use some encouragement from some singles out there...

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CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,608
5,263
113
#1
I have been single and celibate now for six years. Most of the time, I am so grateful for this season. You see, I have come so close to my Lord. What I mean is He has become the bulk of the desires of my heart. I am not a spring chicken, 53 in fact. So the chances of finding another is pretty slim, especially since my work life is at home and I don't get out much. I am not wanting to do that dating site thing, ugh. Most often, like I said, I am more than content for my table for one. So, I don't feel motivated to change my status. I know single life and married life have with them pluses and minuses, both have ups and downs This is where you come in...

Will you remind me in this moment of longing for something that may never be, will you remind me how awesome being single is. Connect with me, will you? Will you give me some insight to get me through this kinked moment. I know it will pass, and soon I'll again flourish, me and my maker. In the meantime, will you throw this sister some encouragement and maybe a prayer. Oh and to those irritated by the needy, seeking attention, tone of this post, know that I too am getting on my nerves, hahaha.

I will be fine, just being transparent, sharing a weak moment, you have them too, right?
 
Aug 2, 2009
22,633
2,415
113
#2
But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.
(1 Corinthians 7:7-8 NLT)
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
11,649
1,948
113
#5
Hi CharliRenee,

I definitely understand what you're saying. I'm not all that far behind you in age and have been single for 15 years, so I definitely get what you're telling us about having moments of wistfulness.

I don't know if this will help any, but one thing I have to admit that I was surprised to find over the years is that the desire for romantic love never seems to go away (even though society tells us that our chances are over at about age 35.) I've spent many years around older people and have known a few who found love in their 80's and 90's, so who knows what could happen! :) (At least, that's what I keep trying to tell myself.)

I also don't mean to sound morbid, but I mention this a lot here in Singles--sometimes when I'm feeling especially down about not having a significant other, I actually venture into the Family Forum and spend about a half-hour reading about all the challenges other non-single people are facing. Not only will it double your prayer list, it will remind you of all the things you dealt with when you weren't single, and maybe even give you a sense of relief that God has delivered you from those times.

I can also relate to what you're saying about dating, especially since it seems like even if you do meet someone, these days, you have to count on the fact that they're probably getting to know 30 other people online, along with an ocean of other possibilities, and I'm always left wondering if I have anything memorable about me that might possibly stand a chance!

I know you've mentioned a few of your hobbies here--are there any groups in your area, or even online, in which you can talk to other people about what you love to do? Although I haven't found the internet to be especially helpful at dating, I have found it to be a great place to meet friends, and God seems to be connecting me with several other single people.

I know it won't seem like much of a comfort, but I know one thing that's helped me is finding other people who also carry the burden of singleness, even if it's just online. Granted, sometimes it feels like we're just all sitting around being single together :D, but it's still a form of company in an odd sort of way.

May God comfort and uplift you... I definitely understand what you are saying, and I hope you'll be back on your feet in no time. :)
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,608
5,263
113
#6
Hi CharliRenee,

I definitely understand what you're saying. I'm not all that far behind you in age and have been single for 15 years, so I definitely get what you're telling us about having moments of wistfulness.

I don't know if this will help any, but one thing I have to admit that I was surprised to find over the years is that the desire for romantic love never seems to go away (even though society tells us that our chances are over at about age 35.) I've spent many years around older people and have known a few who found love in their 80's and 90's, so who knows what could happen! :) (At least, that's what I keep trying to tell myself.)

I also don't mean to sound morbid, but I mention this a lot here in Singles--sometimes when I'm feeling especially down about not having a significant other, I actually venture into the Family Forum and spend about a half-hour reading about all the challenges other non-single people are facing. Not only will it double your prayer list, it will remind you of all the things you dealt with when you weren't single, and maybe even give you a sense of relief that God has delivered you from those times.

I can also relate to what you're saying about dating, especially since it seems like even if you do meet someone, these days, you have to count on the fact that they're probably getting to know 30 other people online, along with an ocean of other possibilities, and I'm always left wondering if I have anything memorable about me that might possibly stand a chance!

I know you've mentioned a few of your hobbies here--are there any groups in your area, or even online, in which you can talk to other people about what you love to do? Although I haven't found the internet to be especially helpful at dating, I have found it to be a great place to meet friends, and God seems to be connecting me with several other single people.

I know it won't seem like much of a comfort, but I know one thing that's helped me is finding other people who also carry the burden of singleness, even if it's just online. Granted, sometimes it feels like we're just all sitting around being single together :D, but it's still a form of company in an odd sort of way.

May God comfort and uplift you... I definitely understand what you are saying, and I hope you'll be back on your feet in no time. :)
You have been a resourceful friend to me already online. I want you to know this, thank you. I definitely will be going to the family forum and allowing remembrance to be brought forward and then sunk back in. I need to remember the blessings of my current state. 15 years, wow, oh man. U do understand. Thanks again, great nuggets of advice here, thank you.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,608
5,263
113
#7
But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.
(1 Corinthians 7:7-8 NLT)
Thank you dear ZeroT, you rock. Big help!!!
 

1christian1

Active member
Sep 13, 2018
701
212
43
#8
I have been single and celibate now for six years. Most of the time, I am so grateful for this season. You see, I have come so close to my Lord. What I mean is He has become the bulk of the desires of my heart. I am not a spring chicken, 53 in fact. So the chances of finding another is pretty slim, especially since my work life is at home and I don't get out much. I am not wanting to do that dating site thing, ugh. Most often, like I said, I am more than content for my table for one. So, I don't feel motivated to change my status. I know single life and married life have with them pluses and minuses, both have ups and downs This is where you come in...

Will you remind me in this moment of longing for something that may never be, will you remind me how awesome being single is. Connect with me, will you? Will you give me some insight to get me through this kinked moment. I know it will pass, and soon I'll again flourish, me and my maker. In the meantime, will you throw this sister some encouragement and maybe a prayer. Oh and to those irritated by the needy, seeking attention, tone of this post, know that I too am getting on my nerves, hahaha.

I will be fine, just being transparent, sharing a weak moment, you have them too, right?
Hey CharliRenee. 1christian1. You truly amaze me with your honesty. only wish that I could be so forth coming. Your words make me feel grounded . Like I am not the only one that feels this...
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,608
5,263
113
#9
Hey CharliRenee. 1christian1. You truly amaze me with your honesty. only wish that I could be so forth coming. Your words make me feel grounded . Like I am not the only one that feels this...
Well boy howdy, you encouraged me big time, made me feel like a blessing. U r a blessing, know that to be true. What a kind gift, thank you. Big hugs.
 

1christian1

Active member
Sep 13, 2018
701
212
43
#10
Well boy howdy, you encouraged me big time, made me feel like a blessing. U r a blessing, know that to be true. What a kind gift, thank you. Big hugs.
Well boy howdy, you encouraged me big time, made me feel like a blessing. U r a blessing, know that to be true. What a kind gift, thank you. Big hugs.
Well boy howdy, you encouraged me big time, made me feel like a blessing. U r a blessing, know that to be true. What a kind gift, thank you. Big hugs.
I know what you're going though. living that life. only with a 13 year old daughter. I've been celibate since my daughter was 5. caught up in her life and it has served me well. us well. I will be 49 on my next birthday.
 

1christian1

Active member
Sep 13, 2018
701
212
43
#11
But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.
(1 Corinthians 7:7-8 NLT)
Do you think that we are meant to be single? I have, not for one minute, felt that way...
 

Solemateleft

Honor, Courage, Commitment
Jun 25, 2017
1,210
1,006
113
#12
I have been single and celibate now for six years. Most of the time, I am so grateful for this season. You see, I have come so close to my Lord. What I mean is He has become the bulk of the desires of my heart. I am not a spring chicken, 53 in fact. So the chances of finding another is pretty slim, especially since my work life is at home and I don't get out much. I am not wanting to do that dating site thing, ugh. Most often, like I said, I am more than content for my table for one. So, I don't feel motivated to change my status. I know single life and married life have with them pluses and minuses, both have ups and downs This is where you come in...

Will you remind me in this moment of longing for something that may never be, will you remind me how awesome being single is. Connect with me, will you? Will you give me some insight to get me through this kinked moment. I know it will pass, and soon I'll again flourish, me and my maker. In the meantime, will you throw this sister some encouragement and maybe a prayer. Oh and to those irritated by the needy, seeking attention, tone of this post, know that I too am getting on my nerves, hahaha.

I will be fine, just being transparent, sharing a weak moment, you have them too, right?
No, no, no,.. CharliRenee and Seoulsearch as a 54 year old man expecting to be released into the single-wild - I do not wanna hear this glass-half-empty perspective regarding "So the chances of finding another is pretty slim"...
Oh Contraire I'm always a glass-half-full optimist - convincing myself that it doesn't hurt the heart to dream... and if we're blessed - oh how wonderful the rest of our lives in this world could be for both our and our future partner's eternal salvation... I don't wanna ever give up on that dream... Where there is a will there's a way... enough about my perspective - I'm still wet behind the ears with lots of learning yet to be done...
CharliRenee - I so admire your zeal, zest, faith and compassion... You truly are blessed by our Lord, I pray that you know that he hears your prayers and that he has an amazing road ahead for you in this life-time...
I also admire your six year commitment... I pray that you are getting your fill of loving hugs from your 'tribe'...
I pray that I might have the strength and the means to stay so true... I fear that I am gonna need lots of hugs... I've been celibate for 21 months now - and I'm stealing as many hugs from my daughter (when shes home from college) and dog as I can...
So, as the single-apprentice in training (he offers in jest) I'm wondering what this professional cuddling business is all about? :)

https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/become-a-professional-cuddler

Seriously, you guys are my inspiration - stay strong - stay the course... keep hope alive for guys like me - otherwise I have no idea how I'll be able to muster up the same exemplary strength and faith as you...
God Bless
 

VincentG

Prodigal son
Aug 25, 2018
1,753
919
113
#13
I think being single is good in a sense...even though you're supposed to put God first ..when you're married there's a piece of you that doesn't go all the way for the Lord and another that tries to honor your wife...which is good, honoring your wife part! But when your single and you find that you will be for a long spell ...... It's you in the fight to serve God 110% with him backing you up and clearing the paths for you and the Holy Spirit guiding you can commit yourself with all your mind and efforts you slam your hands down and then pick them up and go in swinging for the Lord and fight the good fight...You are now a full pledged soldier in a fight with your creator backing you up..with nothing to weigh you down and nothing to lose but all to gain with the fear of the Lord and knowledge that scripture tells you don't fear the one who can kill the body but, the one who can take the body and the soul! That's the way "I" feel about it..JMO! hope it helps. ;)
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,608
5,263
113
#14
No, no, no,.. CharliRenee and Seoulsearch as a 54 year old man expecting to be released into the single-wild - I do not wanna hear this glass-half-empty perspective regarding "So the chances of finding another is pretty slim"...
Oh Contraire I'm always a glass-half-full optimist - convincing myself that it doesn't hurt the heart to dream... and if we're blessed - oh how wonderful the rest of our lives in this world could be for both our and our future partner's eternal salvation... I don't wanna ever give up on that dream... Where there is a will there's a way... enough about my perspective - I'm still wet behind the ears with lots of learning yet to be done...


CharliRenee - I so admire your zeal, zest, faith and compassion... You truly are blessed by our Lord, I pray that you know that he hears your prayers and that he has an amazing road ahead for you in this life-time...
I also admire your six year commitment... I pray that you are getting your fill of loving hugs from your 'tribe'...

I pray that I might have the strength and the means to stay so true... I fear that I am gonna need lots of hugs... I've been celibate for 21 months now - and I'm stealing as many hugs from my daughter (when shes home from college) and dog as I can...
So, as the single-apprentice in training (he offers in jest) I'm wondering what this professional cuddling business is

all about? :)

https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/become-a-professional-cuddler

Seriously, you guys are my inspiration - stay strong - stay the course... keep hope alive for guys like me - otherwise I have no idea how I'll be able to muster up the same exemplary strength and faith as you...
God Bless
Wait, we can get paid to cuddle with peeps? Hahaha... My dream job, a long extended hug, lol. Isn't that dangerous, though? I mean lots of ppl would get in trouble that way. It is a joke, no?

While I want to be optimistic, I don't want it to be on the premise of my ideal outcome, u know? What if that is not realistic, won't I be setting myself up for frustration? I love your attitude and suspect with your go get em tude you will not be single long. You as a male will have more options. I, on the other hand, must also accept that guys my age generally want gals 10 to 20 years younger. Is my awareness of this jaded or negative...probably, but is it not also true? Barrrrooooo and whaaaaaa, lol, but it is ok, I just have to be hopeful for whatever He wants for me. I do love your bright and shinning attitude, sincerely, so hopeful.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,608
5,263
113
#15
I think being single is good in a sense...even though you're supposed to put God first ..when you're married there's a piece of you that doesn't go all the way for the Lord and another that tries to honor your wife...which is good, honoring your wife part! But when your single and you find that you will be for a long spell ...... It's you in the fight to serve God 110% with him backing you up and clearing the paths for you and the Holy Spirit guiding you can commit yourself with all your mind and efforts you slam your hands down and then pick them up and go in swinging for the Lord and fight the good fight...You are now a full pledged soldier in a fight with your creator backing you up..with nothing to weigh you down and nothing to lose but all to gain with the fear of the Lord and knowledge that scripture tells you don't fear the one who can kill the body but, the one who can take the body and the soul! That's the way "I" feel about it..JMO! hope it helps. ;)
Big time, you have me fired up. So well expressed!!! BAM!!! Thank you!!!
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,608
5,263
113
#16
Do you think that we are meant to be single? I have, not for one minute, felt that way...
I think it depends on the person, the age, the circumstances, hard to say. If you are young, want a family, then yes you need another. Yes, companionship is always wonderful but for those of us who are older and don't have another, we have to pull up our britches and get on with it. Right?
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,608
5,263
113
#17
I know what you're going though. living that life. only with a 13 year old daughter. I've been celibate since my daughter was 5. caught up in her life and it has served me well. us well. I will be 49 on my next birthday.
Oh well
I know what you're going though. living that life. only with a 13 year old daughter. I've been celibate since my daughter was 5. caught up in her life and it has served me well. us well. I will be 49 on my next birthday.
You have more options to find a mate in time, because you are a man person. Gals want them older, men want them younger, bless my heart. I commend your choice not to play trial and error with your daughter, to stay focused on her. That is commendable.
 
Aug 2, 2009
22,633
2,415
113
#18
This is for you, CharlieRenee.

When I am down and oh my soul so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
Then I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit a while with me

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up, to more than I can be


 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
4,608
5,263
113
#19
This is for you, CharlieRenee.

When I am down and oh my soul so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
Then I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit a while with me

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up, to more than I can be


Sniff sniff, I simply treasure the Celtic ladies so talented and u are a blessing to send this to me thank you. Feeling lifted and raised in His grace.