Dating Profile Thread

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shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,753
7,754
113
It's been a couple decades since I've been on any "dating" sites, and I know A LOT has changed in that time.
But one thing I'm sure hasn't changed is profile pages asking about the users age and weight.
That is basic information that people usually like to know up front when searching for a potential mate,
so it makes sense that the OP would include them here.
And anymore, gender... original gender, fixed gender, pretend gender, insecure in original gender, secure in original gender, etc. etc.
Dating sites might be stepping into "leaning on our own understanding", when the Fathers plan for our lives needs to be found and walked out, and if it includes marriage I believe He can and will make the meeting happen.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
I've seen how you post and stir the post like this on other threads on the forum in past interactions, Lanolin.
I'm a married guy...some of the younger folks might say an old married guy. I mentioned that in the OP. So, no, I don't need to put together a dating profile. I don't think my wife would care for me trolling for Christian girls on the Christian forum, or that God wants me to do that. If I were trying to do something like that, I could have omitted the fact I was married, and posted a picture of a 25-year-old model driving a Lamborghini, and I wouldn't have had to do that on a Christian site.

I do know some older singles, one in particular that my wife and I occasionally are involved in ministry with, who is actively looking for a wife who has had difficulty finding a suitable match. I read another forum that has lot of young men, many of whom express concerns or outright complain about dating, the type of women they encounter, etc.

You don't have to bare your soul. This is a suggestion. If you don't want to participate... like most have not...then that's up to you. Plenty of people bare their souls on these forums already, especially behind a handle. That's not anything new.

This idea doesn't seem to have a lot of takers. If it's a good idea, someone single who can benefit from reading new profiles as time goes buy could post it. Just seeing how this goes as a discussion thread, I didn't really think this through. If it took off, I could be getting irrelevant notices for years on a thread that doesn't die down, so I am kind of glad this thread got spoiled and I am hoping it eventually dies. If the idea is good, someone can start a new OP with instructions not to post comments, just profiles, create a second thread for comments on that thread.

It might make sense to have a women's profile thread-- started by a man, and a men's profile thread-- started by a woman, so a male OP poster gets women's profiles and a woman OP gets male profiles.

If anyone wants to do that, go ahead.
iT is a BAD IDEA!

no, we are NOT interested. You should know this by now!

Have you actually prayed about this? Do you think its wise?
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
womens weights changes all the time as they get older.
And of course their age changes.

If you REALLY want to help your 'friend' you would do so in a practical way! Not go online and set her up with a random stranger thinking marriage solves everything.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
Because of the economy, covid etc, people are either unemployed, ill, or overworked.

Our focus on a christian site is Jesus, not getting married. Did Jesus ever say I want women of a certain age HAVE to be married otherwise they will die alone and be a burden on society. This is the Twenty first century.

Things have changed.

Get real.

And for anyone who thinks thats unethical or not nice. Is it ethical to expose women to bad marriages and have them abused. I dont think so.

And yes this happens in christian marriages too. Do you think christians are immune to sorrow and suffering or unemployment and illness, infertility etc.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
16,429
5,374
113
I've seen how you post and stir the post like this on other threads on the forum in past interactions, Lanolin.
I'm a married guy...some of the younger folks might say an old married guy. I mentioned that in the OP. So, no, I don't need to put together a dating profile. I don't think my wife would care for me trolling for Christian girls on the Christian forum, or that God wants me to do that. If I were trying to do something like that, I could have omitted the fact I was married, and posted a picture of a 25-year-old model driving a Lamborghini, and I wouldn't have had to do that on a Christian site.

I do know some older singles, one in particular that my wife and I occasionally are involved in ministry with, who is actively looking for a wife who has had difficulty finding a suitable match. I read another forum that has lot of young men, many of whom express concerns or outright complain about dating, the type of women they encounter, etc.

You don't have to bare your soul. This is a suggestion. If you don't want to participate... like most have not...then that's up to you. Plenty of people bare their souls on these forums already, especially behind a handle. That's not anything new.

This idea doesn't seem to have a lot of takers. If it's a good idea, someone single who can benefit from reading new profiles as time goes buy could post it. Just seeing how this goes as a discussion thread, I didn't really think this through. If it took off, I could be getting irrelevant notices for years on a thread that doesn't die down, so I am kind of glad this thread got spoiled and I am hoping it eventually dies. If the idea is good, someone can start a new OP with instructions not to post comments, just profiles, create a second thread for comments on that thread.

It might make sense to have a women's profile thread-- started by a man, and a men's profile thread-- started by a woman, so a male OP poster gets women's profiles and a woman OP gets male profiles.

If anyone wants to do that, go ahead.
Hi Presidente,

I just wanted to re-emphasize that there are those of us singles here who really do appreciate your efforts. The best part about your opening post is that you came across as, "Hey, I really want to help my single friends who are interested in getting married," because your genuine concern and purpose was to help. You weren't in any way cutting down singles, saying they had to get married, or saying that it's better to be married than single.

You simply empathized with others you know and see and wanted to try to help. Thank you for that.

As it's been said, there actually have been quite a few dating profile threads over the years. But I think several things have changed over time, one of them being the age demographics. Back when I first came here I would guess the Singles Forum median ages were around 25-35; now I think we have more of an audience starting at around 35 on up to in their 70's. I would guess many who want to find someone are already on dedicated dating apps, or might be less prone to finding someone online because almost anyone you meet is long-distance, and older singles with more responsibilities might be more rooted into their location.

Anyway... In this case, it's the thought that counts and it's obvious that you were thoughtful enough to take time out of your own busy schedule to help single Christians out.

Again, thank you for that.

I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to start another thread in honor of your efforts.

Thank you again for showing so much kindness to singles! :)
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,216
9,289
113
iT is a BAD IDEA!

no, we are NOT interested. You should know this by now!

Have you actually prayed about this? Do you think its wise?
Don't hold back Lanolin. Tell us what you REALLY think.

And of course you speak for all of us. You always do... :rolleyes:

Personally I'd like to meet a nice lady someday. I'm not spending any energy to find her though.
 
G

Gojira

Guest
Hi Presidente,

I just wanted to re-emphasize that there are those of us singles here who really do appreciate your efforts. The best part about your opening post is that you came across as, "Hey, I really want to help my single friends who are interested in getting married," because your genuine concern and purpose was to help. You weren't in any way cutting down singles, saying they had to get married, or saying that it's better to be married than single.

You simply empathized with others you know and see and wanted to try to help. Thank you for that.

As it's been said, there actually have been quite a few dating profile threads over the years. But I think several things have changed over time, one of them being the age demographics. Back when I first came here I would guess the Singles Forum median ages were around 25-35; now I think we have more of an audience starting at around 35 on up to in their 70's. I would guess many who want to find someone are already on dedicated dating apps, or might be less prone to finding someone online because almost anyone you meet is long-distance, and older singles with more responsibilities might be more rooted into their location.

Anyway... In this case, it's the thought that counts and it's obvious that you were thoughtful enough to take time out of your own busy schedule to help single Christians out.

Again, thank you for that.

I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to start another thread in honor of your efforts.

Thank you again for showing so much kindness to singles! :)
Yeah, I agree with her sentiment. One thing about this site is that sometimes, no good deed goes unpunished.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,160
1,787
113
Have you actually prayed about this? Do you think its wise?
I have a question. Did you pray before you posted this message I am quoting? Did you hear God tell you to post it? Do you pray before you post other messages on this forum?

You seem to be implying that praying before posting is required. Do you do that yourself?

Because of the economy, covid etc, people are either unemployed, ill, or overworked.
I am not. I see lots of people walking around who appear to be in good health. I now plenty of people who have jobs. I don't ask them if they are overworked. Btw, this is 2023.

Our focus on a christian site is Jesus, not getting married. Did Jesus ever say I want women of a certain age HAVE to be married otherwise they will die alone and be a burden on society. This is the Twenty first century.
This is for "for other forum members interested in finding a Christian spouse." Read the OP. If this thread is not aimed at you, please respect the topic of the thread.

I Corinthians 7 teaches that to avoid fornication let every woman have her own husband and let every man have his own wife. Paul would have preferred everyone to be like himself. He encouraged celibacy for those who had the willpower not to be married, and marriage for those who 'cannot contain.' Paul considered both marriage and celibacy to be gifts from God. Celibacy is good for those who want to spend their time focusing on the Lord.

This quote, "n a christian site is Jesus, not getting married" sounds like false spirituality kind of statement. God is God over every area of life. Some people are encouraged to marry (I Corinthians 7) and our Christian faith should very much be involved in the decision of whether or not to marry and in our marriages if we go down that route.

I could say that a Christian site is about Jesus, not about being single, and not about talking about abuse. Anyone can make a faux spiritual-sounding statement like that.

Things have changed.

Get real.
The scriptures warn about being quarrelsome. Proverbs focuses a bit on the quarrelsome woman, also. You sure do know how to go loggerheads without decent grounds to do so.

And for anyone who thinks thats unethical or not nice. Is it ethical to expose women to bad marriages and have them abused. I dont think so.

And yes this happens in christian marriages too. Do you think christians are immune to sorrow and suffering or unemployment and illness, infertility etc.
The idea of this thread was for singles who were looking to marry to get in contact with each other, not just to jump into marriage. A couple moving in the direction of marriage should talk with their parents, spiritual leaders in their life like influential brothers or sisters in Christ who discipled them, church elders, etc., Christian friends, pray a lot, etc.

If a step on a butterfly on one side of the earth, I'm not responsible for a murder on the side of the earth next year. If two people met through this thread and one of them hits the other, that's not my fault. There are a lot of other steps in the decision to get married than just exchanging messages on a forum.

Are you trying to imply that the men on this forum would abuse a woman if they got the chance? That's a really negative attitude?

I see MGTOW men online sometimes who have accepted a philosophy that is against marriage. I can see and sympathize with some of their concerns-- a society full of women with low sexual morals, high self--worth, with unrealistic standards for a marriage partner, hard to get along with, a family law system that is biased against men, and a culture that is pro-divorce. (Not that the women in the west see a lot of great prospects with the modern men either.

But if a man really longs to marry a woman, and he won't even try because he gets brainwashed by MGTOW philosophy into being against marriage.... not because he wants to devote himself to serve the Lord, it seems likely that man is acting out of cowardice. A woman who really wants to marry who avoids it out of rear of a bad marriage may also be acting out of cowardice as well.

But there is also the issue of actually finding someone, or being proposed to. Western culture isn't that good at matching people up these days. Women tend to be much more picky on responding positively to dating profiles or requests than men from what I have read from the press. A lot of people date for recreation, fornicate here and there, with little thought of settling down, and some of those people claim to be Christians.

If you want to be celibate for life, fine. But this thread is not for you if that is the case.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
9,160
1,787
113
I messed up the quotes on my last post. I'm redoing it with a few changes since the time expired.

@Lanoline
Lanolin said:
Have you actually prayed about this? Do you think its wise?
I have a question. Did you pray before you posted this message I am quoting? Did you hear God tell you to post it? Do you pray before you post other messages on this forum?

You seem to be implying that praying before posting is required. Do you do that yourself?

Because of the economy, covid etc, people are either unemployed, ill, or overworked.
I am not. I see lots of people walking around who appear to be in good health. I now plenty of people who have jobs. I don't ask them if they are overworked. Btw, this is 2023.

Our focus on a christian site is Jesus, not getting married. Did Jesus ever say I want women of a certain age HAVE to be married otherwise they will die alone and be a burden on society. This is the Twenty first century.
This is for "for other forum members interested in finding a Christian spouse." Read the OP. If this thread is not aimed at you, please respect the topic of the thread.

I Corinthians 7 teaches that to avoid fornication let every woman have her own husband and let every man have his own wife. Paul would have preferred everyone to be like himself. He encouraged celibacy for those who had the willpower not to be married, and marriage for those who 'cannot contain.' Paul considered both marriage and celibacy to be gifts from God. Celibacy is good for those who want to spend their time focusing on the Lord.


This quote, "on a christian site is Jesus, not getting married" sounds like false spirituality kind of statement. God is God over every area of life. Some people are encouraged to marry (I Corinthians 7) and our Christian faith should very much be involved in the decision of whether or not to marry and in our marriages if we go down that route.

I could say that a Christian site is about Jesus, not about being single, and not about talking about abuse. Anyone can make a faux spiritual-sounding statement like that.
Things have changed.

Get real.
The scriptures warn about being quarrelsome. Proverbs focuses a bit on the quarrelsome woman, also. You sure do know how to go loggerheads without decent grounds to do so.

I would encourage Christian single men to avoid a quarrelsome woman as a marriage partner.

And for anyone who thinks thats unethical or not nice. Is it ethical to expose women to bad marriages and have them abused. I dont think so.

And yes this happens in christian marriages too. Do you think christians are immune to sorrow and suffering or unemployment and illness, infertility etc.
The idea of this thread was for singles who were looking to marry to get in contact with each other, not just to jump into marriage. A couple moving in the direction of marriage should talk with their parents, spiritual leaders in their life like influential brothers or sisters in Christ who discipled them, church elders, etc., Christian friends, pray a lot, etc.

If a step on a butterfly on one side of the earth, I'm not responsible for a murder on the side of the earth next year. If two people met through this thread and one of them hits the other, that's not my fault. There are a lot of other steps in the decision to get married than just exchanging messages on a forum.

Are you trying to imply that the men on this forum would abuse a woman if they got the chance? That's a really negative attitude?

I see MGTOW men online sometimes who have accepted a philosophy that is against marriage. I can see and sympathize with some of their concerns-- a society full of women with low sexual morals, high self--worth, with unrealistic standards for a marriage partner, hard to get along with, a family law system that is biased against men, and a culture that is pro-divorce. (Not that the women in the west see a lot of great prospects with the modern men either.

But if a man really longs to marry a woman, and he won't even try because he gets brainwashed by MGTOW philosophy into being against marriage.... not because he wants to devote himself to serve the Lord, it seems likely that man is acting out of cowardice. A woman who really wants to marry who avoids it out of rear of a bad marriage may also be acting out of cowardice as well.

But there is also the issue of actually finding someone, or being proposed to. Western culture isn't that good at matching people up these days. Women tend to be much more picky on responding positively to dating profiles or requests than men from what I have read from the press. A lot of people date for recreation, fornicate here and there, with little thought of settling down, and some of those people claim to be Christians.

If you want to be celibate for life, fine. But this thread is not for you if that is the case.
 
G

Gojira

Guest
This quote, "on a christian site is Jesus, not getting married" sounds like false spirituality kind of statement. God is God over every area of life. Some people are encouraged to marry (I Corinthians 7) and our Christian faith should very much be involved in the decision of whether or not to marry and in our marriages if we go down that route.

I could say that a Christian site is about Jesus, not about being single, and not about talking about abuse. Anyone can make a faux spiritual-sounding statement like that.
And this is why I blocked this "genius".
 

Sculpt

Well-known member
Apr 18, 2021
1,138
362
83
Well, I say where else are you going to get stark raving firecracker bath salt posts? You can't get your literary face eaten off just anywhere. ;)
 
G

Gojira

Guest
Well, I say where else are you going to get stark raving firecracker bath salt posts? You can't get your literary face eaten off just anywhere. ;)
"Indeed." ~ Teal'c
 

Moses_Young

Well-known member
Sep 15, 2019
9,961
5,524
113
I messed up the quotes on my last post. I'm redoing it with a few changes since the time expired.

@Lanoline

I have a question. Did you pray before you posted this message I am quoting? Did you hear God tell you to post it? Do you pray before you post other messages on this forum?

You seem to be implying that praying before posting is required. Do you do that yourself?


I am not. I see lots of people walking around who appear to be in good health. I now plenty of people who have jobs. I don't ask them if they are overworked. Btw, this is 2023.


This is for "for other forum members interested in finding a Christian spouse." Read the OP. If this thread is not aimed at you, please respect the topic of the thread.

I Corinthians 7 teaches that to avoid fornication let every woman have her own husband and let every man have his own wife. Paul would have preferred everyone to be like himself. He encouraged celibacy for those who had the willpower not to be married, and marriage for those who 'cannot contain.' Paul considered both marriage and celibacy to be gifts from God. Celibacy is good for those who want to spend their time focusing on the Lord.


This quote, "on a christian site is Jesus, not getting married" sounds like false spirituality kind of statement. God is God over every area of life. Some people are encouraged to marry (I Corinthians 7) and our Christian faith should very much be involved in the decision of whether or not to marry and in our marriages if we go down that route.

I could say that a Christian site is about Jesus, not about being single, and not about talking about abuse. Anyone can make a faux spiritual-sounding statement like that.

The scriptures warn about being quarrelsome. Proverbs focuses a bit on the quarrelsome woman, also. You sure do know how to go loggerheads without decent grounds to do so.

I would encourage Christian single men to avoid a quarrelsome woman as a marriage partner.


The idea of this thread was for singles who were looking to marry to get in contact with each other, not just to jump into marriage. A couple moving in the direction of marriage should talk with their parents, spiritual leaders in their life like influential brothers or sisters in Christ who discipled them, church elders, etc., Christian friends, pray a lot, etc.

If a step on a butterfly on one side of the earth, I'm not responsible for a murder on the side of the earth next year. If two people met through this thread and one of them hits the other, that's not my fault. There are a lot of other steps in the decision to get married than just exchanging messages on a forum.

Are you trying to imply that the men on this forum would abuse a woman if they got the chance? That's a really negative attitude?

I see MGTOW men online sometimes who have accepted a philosophy that is against marriage. I can see and sympathize with some of their concerns-- a society full of women with low sexual morals, high self--worth, with unrealistic standards for a marriage partner, hard to get along with, a family law system that is biased against men, and a culture that is pro-divorce. (Not that the women in the west see a lot of great prospects with the modern men either.

But if a man really longs to marry a woman, and he won't even try because he gets brainwashed by MGTOW philosophy into being against marriage.... not because he wants to devote himself to serve the Lord, it seems likely that man is acting out of cowardice. A woman who really wants to marry who avoids it out of rear of a bad marriage may also be acting out of cowardice as well.

But there is also the issue of actually finding someone, or being proposed to. Western culture isn't that good at matching people up these days. Women tend to be much more picky on responding positively to dating profiles or requests than men from what I have read from the press. A lot of people date for recreation, fornicate here and there, with little thought of settling down, and some of those people claim to be Christians.

If you want to be celibate for life, fine. But this thread is not for you if that is the case.
Wow. Such a long post to try to understand. My thinking is more simple. You touched a nerve, and received an emotive response. :)
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
6,061
3,407
113
My apologies for the explosion early in the thread that was not dealt with in a timely fashion.

Unfortunately, the past couple of weeks had my already busy schedule turn insanely busy due to having a wife with a broken foot.

Fortunately, she's reached a point in healing where my schedule is getting closer to normal.
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
1,380
813
113
My apologies for the explosion early in the thread that was not dealt with in a timely fashion.

Unfortunately, the past couple of w eeks had my already busy schedule turn insanely busy due to having a wife with a broken foot.

Fortunately, she's reached a point in healing where my schedule is getting closer to normal.
Been praying about your church family and wondering how your preacher's family are doing? Her name was Elise? Is that right? Thanks.