Do ‘looks’ matter to YOU?

[Jewel5712]

No sisters, no girl cousins just a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some tissue to wipe down the seat.

Looks like you missed out..no estrigen around..explains SO MUCH..lol

 

[Jewel5712]

whether to empathy those boys who suffer being beat up or not, hmm ...

what should be the right perspective in regard to this?

..well...theyre now 26 n 30 n always put the seat down

 

[theanointedsinner]

..well...theyre now 26 n 30 n always put the seat down

we can have compassion for those who are able to have compassion
and, same for those who are not able to have compassion

that's right, sam I am, lol

 

[calibob]

I of course admit I'm attracted to good looking women but that's not enough to risk marriage.

 

[Jewel5712]

I of course admit I'm attracted to good looking women but that's not enough to risk marriage.

Lots of hot sexy women that are divorced so i guess that looks doesnt make a marriage work or necissarily last?

 

[theanointedsinner]

I of course admit I'm attracted to good looking women but that's not enough to risk marriage.

it's perfectly natural to be attracted to beauty

gasp, it exist

 

[calibob]

I'm more frightened of getting my heart broken again than being single. For life.

 

[theanointedsinner]

instant gratification is not magical

however, many can confuse "impulse" with "sincerity"
and yet, self-control and determination has to do with "sincerity"

or "natural", hmm ...
we need to run to the dictionary, is the dictionary physically beautiful? not necessary, but sometimes we might need to be married to a dictionary, which is a good helper to help clarify things, and a dictionary is not a person just a book in this context

 

[calibob]

I'm 64 now, I've been divorced 30 years and I've accepted what life and God has given me. It seems kind of funny to me that some who say God grant me the serinity to accept the things that I cannot change want to flip the script and take control again, right away.

 

[Jewel5712]

I'm 64 now, I've been divorced 30 years and I've accepted what life and God has given me. It seems kind of funny to me that some who say God grant me the serinity to accept the things that I cannot change want to flip the script and take control again, right away.

Ive been guilty of that once or twice in my life

 

[calibob]

instant gratification is not magical

Maybe that's why I went back to school in my 50s.

 

[theanointedsinner]

spiritually, I think it's moreso how the opposite sex make you feel, moreso than 'looks'

 

[Mel85]

"Looks" can cover a lot of territory. Before I can give any real answer to "Do 'looks' matter to YOU?" we would have to narrow it down.

Are we talking about the look of the face? How friendly the face looks, how intelligent or not, whether the person looks focused or confident, use of makeup?

Are we talking about the body? Posture, fat or skinny, size of breasts, contour of hips?

Are we talking about age? Wrinkles, crow's-feet around the eyes, or lack thereof?

Are we talking about motion? How the person walks, agility, poise, amount of energy displayed?

The reason I ask is because some aspects of "looks" are very useful as they give information about the person's character. Some "looks" are very important to me. Others are negligible enough that I don't pay them any conscious attention. But I am not sure which "looks" we are discussing here.

Physical appearance of a person.

 

[Mel85]

I hope I won't be offending anyone, because I personally believe that the only people who can actually say that looks don't matter are blind.

And even then, I wonder, what are blind people attracted to? The sound of someone's voice? The way a person smells, or the rhythm of their walk as they shuffle across the room? These are questions I've always wanted to ask, because after all, blind people get married, too.

As someone who feels the pressure of singleness to try to somewhat maintain one's looks (I had a friend who got married and said, "I can't wait to be able to just let myself go!"), it can be a very miserable journey. I pass up about 95% of the things I'd really rather prefer to be eating (goodbye cheeseburgers, fries, and crispy tacos with extra cheese; hello boiled spinach and eggs), I don't like exercise but I do it because I know it helps, and I do have to be a bit obsessive at times, because otherwise my weight goes through the roof.

So, it would be nice to find someone who cares about weight, nutrition, and exercise as well because if I wound up with someone who sits on the couch eating Doritos all evening, I'd gain 20 lbs. the first month.

The thing I think about though, as calibob illustrated, is that looks change over time. I've written several threads in the past with pictures of popular young Hollywood stars... and then have shown current pictures in which they're 30 pounds older and 80 pounds heavier. People don't find them nearly as attractive in that state.

I know a couple who have been together a very long time, and the husband is picking at the way his wife's face has aged--while seeming to forget that he himself has aged as well and put on a lot of weight (she, however, is thinner than when they met.)

The best example I ever saw of love over looks was of an article about a young, very beautiful, model-looking couple who got married... and the husband was in the military and lost half his face during an explosion. Doctors did what they could, but of course, he looked completely different--and she still loved him.

One of the things I wonder about now that I'm older is, "Sure. He looks good to me today..."

"But will I have a Godly enough heart to think that he looks good 20 years from now? And, even more honestly... Would I have a chance of looking good to him and keeping him faithful?"

You offended me!

No sis I’m joking. Thank you for your honesty as always But I do want to explain why it seems like I’m like few of the minority here who do believe that looks don’t matter.

Let me explain, for me it’s been about whether his personality compliments mine or vice versa, if I can connect with him based off his intelligence, and personality but especially his faith then looks come in ‘second’ for me. My problem is, that I haven’t had many dates or met men in real life or online enough to measure whether looks should matter, but I do strongly have faith in God that whoever He sends me will firstly be a godly man whose after Gods heart first.

That’s my view in things and maybe I don’t have enough experience in this area to know completely what I want or dont want but I do know where you all are coming from.

 

[Mel85]

Taking it further, what about when a quick wit fades? What about when a person's memories and the very personality fade?

There is this one elderly couple who used to come to McDonald's where I work multiple times a day, every day. Sometimes they would only get an ice cream cone, but they were always there. We watched as the wife succumbed to alzheimer's right before our eyes. The husband kept taking care of her long past the point where she had become a caricature of her former self. When he finally put her in a nursing home it was because she had reached the point where he was no longer able to take care of her.

What keeps people together when what attracted them to each other fades? It can't just be the memory of what the person used to be.

This reminds me of that movie The Notebook ❤️

 

[EmilyFoster]

I feel looks do matter, but it's a tiny bit of the overall personality.

 

[Ugly]

Lol..i think if everyone is HONEST they would ALL say that looks matter to SOME extent..its just the "extent" that it is...i think for men..it seem that looks ARE more important than with a woman..differences between the sexes? Maybe..but if we are to be "new creatures" through Christ..this SHOULD affect our "vision" as well and how we look for/at a potential mate...looks are FLEETING peeps

When a Christian woman wants a man with money, should that not change as well? Yet it's an often encouraged and taught mindset among Christians. Funny how that works in a modern secular society where mens natural inclinations are demonized and womens natural inclinations are framed as superior.

 

[Mel85]

Looks definitely matter to me. The problem in saying so is people tend to hear "I only want to date models" despite that not being what I said.
Physical attraction is entirely subjective. Even with the most attractive people in the world there will be people that just don't see it.

Neither did I say looks are most important. I want to be attracted to a woman for All parts of her. Inside and out. And it's an entirely acceptable mentality.
The idea of looks being irrelevant isn't biblical. If we look at Song of Solomon there's references to physical beauty as well as internal. And before anyone argues with me about the meaning of SoS it doesn't change my point whether its literal or not.

So yeah, I have to look at a woman and like what I see. According to my personal standards.

I agree. I guess also for example, what one woman finds attractive in a man is not what another woman may find attractive in a man.

 

[Ugly]

You offended me!

No sis I’m joking. Thank you for your honesty as always But I do want to explain why it seems like I’m like few of the minority here who do believe that looks don’t matter.

Let me explain, for me it’s been about whether his personality compliments mine or vice versa, if I can connect with him based off his intelligence, and personality but especially his faith then looks come in ‘second’ for me. My problem is, that I haven’t had many dates or met men in real life or online enough to measure whether looks should matter, but I do strongly have faith in God that whoever He sends me will firstly be a godly man whose after Gods heart first.

That’s my view in things and maybe I don’t have enough experience in this area to know completely what I want or dont want but I do know where you all are coming from.

The issue i have with the 'looks don't matter' crew is they somehow always end up with really physically attractive people. Yet all the less physically attractive people around them that were just as great of a person they never showed interest in. Granted there are exceptions (as always) but to me saying 'looks don't matter' is just a way to lie to ones self, and others because more often than not that's not the case in the end.

As a 'looks matter' person i want all the same things the 'looks don't matter' people want, i just want it wrapped in an appealing package. Which brings me to the next issue i often see in the 'looks don't matter' crew. Many times they seem to assume if someone says 'looks matter' they react in a self righteous manner and assume that the person is shallow and cares only about looks.

I'm not saying either of these are the case with you, i'm simply pointing out what i most commonly see among people in the camp you align yourself with.

 

[Mel85]

The issue i have with the 'looks don't matter' crew is they somehow always end up with really physically attractive people. Yet all the less physically attractive people around them that were just as great of a person they never showed interest in. Granted there are exceptions (as always) but to me saying 'looks don't matter' is just a way to lie to ones self, and others because more often than not that's not the case in the end.

As a 'looks matter' person i want all the same things the 'looks don't matter' people want, i just want it wrapped in an appealing package. Which brings me to the next issue i often see in the 'looks don't matter' crew. Many times they seem to assume if someone says 'looks matter' they react in a self righteous manner and assume that the person is shallow and cares only about looks.

I'm not saying either of these are the case with you, i'm simply pointing out what i most commonly see among people in the camp you align yourself with.

What is a “physically attracted person” though? How society views them or how a individual who doesn’t follow society view them? I go with the second. I refuse to follow the ways of how society runs.

That’s hard to pinpoint because we all have different ways of viewing what attracts us in the first place. Attraction in the eye is easy to do (and for some can become lust instead of love) but attraction in the heart of a person is more complex unless you get to know that person on a more deeper level which decides for you whether they’re the type of person you want to be with. That’s where I’m coming from, but I don’t expect people to understand that unless you walk in my shoes.

And that’s probably why I’m single lol.

I have no problem with people agreeing that looks matter, and in some ways I agree (like with your first post) but I wouldn’t base the whole “looks” thing to find me a partner.