Do you find it hard to be "just friends" with people of the opposite sex?

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Lynx

Senior Member
Aug 13, 2014
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I recently found myself in an oddly reversed situation. Yesterday I saw my best friend's wife, and I was looking for my best friend, so I asked her if he was at church yet. Suddenly I realized the only time I talk to his wife is to say "Is Bryan here?" I had to stop and apologize for that.
 

garet82

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2011
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I do not feel comfortable talking with a guy specilly if the guy is married even if i know he just has girlfriend i will try not to be friend or being friendly.
Its enough for me to smile or to say hi at work place or in my church or social place where i am.
Im trying to put myself "if i have a husband or a boyfriend then he be nice to other woman n become very close without i know or even if i know it." It must be so sad to me. just try to feel what if iam in the position of my husband or my boyfriend with other women and talk secretly.

Im not kind of possesive woman, remembering im working with lots of ppl. As a teacher n suday school teacher and also very active in my tribe comunity for youth section, i met lots of ppl. Married or not married.
Thats why i respect all specially them that married or even have girlfriends.
We must know the border between men n women.

Blessing amen
 
Aug 12, 2015
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We can be bro and sis in Jesus christ. But I can say there is no "be just friends and nothing more ", more or less with romantic emotion inside. But I hate the ambiguous relationship that lingered for a long long time at the edge of almost lovers, beyond friends, underneath lovers.
 
May 12, 2016
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As long as there is boundaries in place single or not. I have no problem having a male friend. When I was married I only had one male friend on my FB that was not family. ( EX fiance ) that wanted to be friends on my eldest sons FB. he was also a friend on my Ex husbands FB. My Ex had my pass and could at anytime get on to my account. It was saved on the computer. My phone never locked and I was never alone with another male. I had boundaries. My ex husband could never wonder about my conduct.
Now that I am single, I have many males both single and married on my FB. One of my dearest friends is a male and in TN. I keep telling him who ever he marries she will be blessed. If he treats her as he does his parents and friends. I have not met his new lady friend. But I have heard about her. And his only problem he ever discussed with me was a hardship in they live over an hour apart. Our friendship has boundaries, we respect and honor the boundaries.
If I was to get involved with a man. I would strengthen my boundaries. Both with him and my male friends. I would not and do not cross a line ( emotional connections) that should only be shared with a spouse. I would not put myself in a position to be sexually compromised. As far as a male/ female friend, you should guard your heart and thoughts. If you both are single and friends and both choose to seek a deeper relationship than that is between you two. If you find you can not control and stay within set boundaries then it would be best to avoid all together. ( it is better to loose your hand, than have your whole body cast into hell) avoid temptation if you can not control your actions/ emotions.
 
Jan 6, 2018
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I think I can be friend with a man, but is not as easy, and surely different from a woman. I think it is natural that there should be some tension. On top of that, I tend to be naturally submissive towards a man. I understand this might sound strange these days, but..
 

TOMMY777

New member
Jul 28, 2018
10
3
3
I have been freinds with women but not really close and on those occasions all was fine. I was close with a women and i confided in her. After two years of freindship she told me she love me and always had done. She told me she always had it in her mind that we would be together. I felt so betrayed and let down that she had had an alterior motive the entire time of our friendship. I couldnt believe how someone could be so scheming and deceitful. What i am sayin is just be careful when being friends with the opposite sex.
 

EmilyFoster

Well-known member
Jul 10, 2018
1,223
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Yes, a guy and a girl can be good friends and nothing more. I do have some good relationships but I think it all depends on the boundaries we put up. Of course, things are much difficult in a married scenario. Again, respect, trust and boundaries are very important.
 
Jul 29, 2018
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Makati, Philippines
It's a question that's commonly asked. That is, can a guy and a girl be just friends and nothing more?


Until recently, I always thought that was a stupid question. I always thought I'd have no problem being just friends with a girl. But I found out it's not as easy as I thought it would be.


I had never really had a close friend that was a girl. Until recently.


I've been talking a lot to this girl that I met. She's not single, but she was still looking for a friend, I think. But since I've been talking to her, I haven't been myself. I kind of fell for her. I think about her all the time and that's not an understatement either.


It's kind of an embarrassing thing to admit. But then again, it's the Internet and no one really knows who I am. So maybe I shouldn't be embarrassed.


Anyone else have any similar stories like mine? I'm sure I'm not the only one here.

Well, I am a girl but I have more guy friends than girls. Maybe because of my line of work, but I find guys better to hang out with (not drinking per se as I don't drink) . They are more straight forward, they will not sugarcoat things just to make you feel better. They can make up their mind easily (where to eat, what to do, etc.) During my college days, I am more comfortable having group studies and discussions with them, especially when solving engineering problems. But I have nothing against girls. SWEAR. :) I just want to point out that it is not difficult to to be with the opposite sex.
 
Jan 3, 2018
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You should not be friends with a married woman. Full Stop.
If you are a Christian man, you will respect her marriage and cease talking to her immediately.

Her male friend should only be her husband.

Loving your neighbor as yourself means you will love her husband enough not to be talking to his wife. How would you feel if a man was chatting to YOUR wife online (if you had one).
Lol wut
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
29,081
7,488
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Florida
I have been freinds with women but not really close and on those occasions all was fine. I was close with a women and i confided in her. After two years of freindship she told me she love me and always had done. She told me she always had it in her mind that we would be together. I felt so betrayed and let down that she had had an alterior motive the entire time of our friendship. I couldnt believe how someone could be so scheming and deceitful. What i am sayin is just be careful when being friends with the opposite sex.
I don't see how this woman who was your friend falling in love with you is scheming and deceitful. You must have been clueless not to pick up on that. Seems to me it was the woman who was betrayed and not you. I am sure that she will take your advice and be more careful next time.
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,257
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Most of my closest guy friends are my ex bfs..although most are married and that puts a damper on things ;(
 

TOMMY777

New member
Jul 28, 2018
10
3
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I don't see how this woman who was your friend falling in love with you is scheming and deceitful. You must have been clueless not to pick up on that. Seems to me it was the woman who was betrayed and not you. I am sure that she will take your advice and be more careful next time.
I had no idea she felt that way. She knew i was not interested in her in a romantic way. She hid her feelings very well. How have i betrayed anyone. You sound like you very been rejected and are bitter. If i am wrong about that then we are both jumpin to the wrong conclusion.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
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I had no idea she felt that way. She knew i was not interested in her in a romantic way. She hid her feelings very well. How have i betrayed anyone. You sound like you very been rejected and are bitter. If i am wrong about that then we are both jumpin to the wrong conclusion.
I don't see what the big deal is if the girl was into you. Quit making it weird between the two of you.
 

TOMMY777

New member
Jul 28, 2018
10
3
3
I don't see what the big deal is if the girl was into you. Quit making it weird between the two of you.
It s not that fact she was into me really but not telling me for two years. It s not weird between us. We spoke, she said she could never want to be just freinds. I said ok, i wished her a blessed life and said bye. She is good friends with a few family member of mine but i dont see her at all now.
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,144
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It s not that fact she was into me really but not telling me for two years. It s not weird between us. We spoke, she said she could never want to be just freinds. I said ok, i wished her a blessed life and said bye. She is good friends with a few family member of mine but i dont see her at all now.
I don't see why she obligated to tell you her feelings. Is she not pretty?
 

Jewel5712

Well-known member
Jun 22, 2018
4,091
2,257
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I don't see why she obligated to tell you her feelings. Is she not pretty?
Or maybe she got into it hoping his feelings would change for her and when they didnt..maybe she just thought he didnt havr a clue and confessed her feelings..dont know..sad story..
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,144
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Or maybe she got into it hoping his feelings would change for her and when they didnt..maybe she just thought he didnt havr a clue and confessed her feelings..dont know..sad story..
Most guys can be into most girls.... if they're pretty enough.