Does your church have a singles group? why or why not? and who do you think ...

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T

Tintin

Guest
#21
#21
My church doesn't have a singles group but the Lutheran Church of South Australia does, for those 35 years and older. I'm a bit confused about that one.
 
C

Chey60

Guest
#22
#22
zaoman32 said:
Just another added point to...One of the big things for spiritual growth in marriage is having bible studies and praying together. The problem is a lot of people feel uncomfortable with it at first, or really just don't know how it works, so it would be cool if a singles group would consistently do a bible study/discussion together to, and kind of help that start of getting comfortable doing those things with other people. Maybe even get really extreme and force guys and girls to pair off and discuss bible readings one on one with each other. Not in a way to hook-up, but just to get the idea of what it's like and get them comfortable in a setting like that in the event that they get married. Even if they never get married, I'm convinced it's important for guys and gals to build good relationships with each other.
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I totally agree. I think where it gets wonky is when you have couples alone together..that is where the trouble starts..

I will say this.. you are right, so many christian couples even, don't know they should pray together.. it's not the first thing they think of.. I have counseled 3 separate couples and the first thing I asked them" do you pray together" and the answer is always no.. that is so strange to me ..maybe because I have never been in a christian relationship outside of that recent one.. and in that one, we prayed together, he would call me before I went to sleep and pray with me.. and when we would hang out together at his place we always prayed together.. sometimes right when I got there and then before I left..
it was a habit.. and I think he started it..
and sometimes I would suggest to pray but it was very mutual..
the day we broke up, we stood face to face, put our foreheads together and prayed for one another..
sincerely..
and we never saw one another again but it was still something we did as christians..
Also you are SO right, we need to learn to interact with one another in group settings..
just wish there were more guys to girls in groups :)

Thank you for the great message.. it's so true :)
so we should start praying for our churches that either they get more singles and they get a ministry started or that there are more places for singles to gather for all this to happen:)
 
C

Chey60

Guest
#24
#24
Tintin said:
My church doesn't have a singles group but the Lutheran Church of South Australia does, for those 35 years and older. I'm a bit confused about that one.
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well congrats, you have 5 more years to actually be considered a single :)
 
C

Chey60

Guest
#25
#25
Shouryu said:
It does! It's called Brother Shour.



Because Brother Shour is the single person my church, that's why.



Probably Shour. Last Sunday, Shour lead all the singles to his hometown to visit his parents, and his parents' church. He also leads a group weightlifting session once or twice a week that involves the entire singles ministry (although now that marching season is over, he'll probably lead it three times a week). Sometimes, the singles go hiking in the Franklin mountains, and it's common for them to all gather in Shour's kitchen for cooking. It's also common for all the singles to meet in Shour's living room about 6:10am on weekday mornings for Bible readings. The singles group also drives to work together, too, often in prayer, sometimes in just singing. They spend a LOT of time together. VERY close knit. The leader is really hardcore about it all. The group would like to do something like salsa/tango lessons, but there's nothing on the east side of town, and everyone's pretty busy as it is. But the interest is unanimous.
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This is either really funny or really really sick :) lol
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#26
#26
Chey60 said:
I totally agree. I think where it gets wonky is when you have couples alone together..that is wI will say this.. you are right, so many christian couples even, don't know they should pray together.. it's not the first thing they think of.. I have counseled 3 separate couples and the first thing I asked them" do you pray together" and the answer is always no.. that is so strange to me ..maybe because I have never been in a christian relationship outside of that recent one.. and in that one, we prayed together, he would call me before I went to sleep and pray with me.. and when we would hang out together at his place we always prayed together.. sometimes right when I got there and then before I left..
it was a habit.. and I think he started it..
and sometimes I would suggest to pray but it was very mutual..
the day we broke up, we stood face to face, put our foreheads together and prayed for one another..
sincerely..
and we never saw one another again but it was still something we did as christians..
Also you are SO right, we need to learn to interact with one another in group settings..
just wish there were more guys to girls in groups :)
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this is a beautiful story, thanks for sharing
 
C

Chey60

Guest
#29
#29
zeroturbulence said:
I'd rather not find out what this feels like...

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?? errr?? (in my best scooby doo accent) :)
don't get it ..
you don't want to feel like one of the bachelor girls?
or chris harrison?
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#30
#30
Chey60 said:
well congrats, you have 5 more years to actually be considered a single :)
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Haha! I suppose that's one way to look at it. Very optimistic of you. :)
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#31
#31
Church singles groups remind me of those news bits you see on tv once in a while.
You know, the caring person who opens a huge animal refuge for the wounded animals.
The refuge has injured dogs, cats, sheep, giraffes, lions, bears, apes, and they all live together.

On the outside you wonder how all those different kinds of animals can group together.
It seems odd.
Each animal is kinda off doing its own thing, yet they're together.

It's this strange concoction of total disconnect mingled with interconnectedness.

In other words, church Christian singles groups don't ever make sense to me.
They come off as a gathering of strays who can't find their homes.
So they meet together in their lostness once or twice a month, and do activities together over doughnuts and punch.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#32
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
#32
1still_waters said:
Church singles groups remind me of those news bits you see on tv once in a while.
You know, the caring person who opens a huge animal refuge for the wounded animals.
The refuge has injured dogs, cats, sheep, giraffes, lions, bears, apes, and they all live together.

On the outside you wonder how all those different kinds of animals can group together.
It seems odd.
Each animal is kinda off doing its own thing, yet they're together.

It's this strange concoction of total disconnect mingled with interconnectedness.

In other words, church Christian singles groups don't ever make sense to me.
They come off as a gathering of strays who can't find their homes.
So they meet together in their lostness once or twice a month, and do activities together over doughnuts and punch.
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This was horribly offensive, and yet...
it still made me laugh really hard.
:)

And yeah... I don't hang with singles groups either.

I don't have a problem with all the singles groups in the world,
I just have a problem with all the ones I've seen.
: )
 
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1

1still_waters

Guest
#33
#33
maxwel said:
This was horribly offensive, and yet...
it still made me laugh really hard.
:)

And yeah... I don't hang with singles groups either.

I don't have anything against singles groups in general... just the ones I've seen.

: )
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I'm a single stray, so I can be offensive regarding my own group. :p

Can't decide if I'm an ape, giraffe, or maybe a furry lil rabbit.
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#34
#34
Due to the stray, disconnected aspect of being single , I prefer just blending in with others in the church. If you're a single in a church with older golden girls, it's a HUGE plus. They LOVE LOVE LOVE to bake and cook, and make sure you're well fed. It's like having 10 or more grandmas.

Plus with the singles groups there is always this unspoken tension between...are we gathering together so we can find a mate..or are we just gathering together for activities doughnuts and punch?

Maybe I've just been lucky at churches I attend. It's been easy to blend in, get fellowship, and not feel like the odd stray single.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#35
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
#35
1still_waters said:
Due to the stray, disconnected aspect of being single , I prefer just blending in with others in the church. If you're a single in a church with older golden girls, it's a HUGE plus. They LOVE LOVE LOVE to bake and cook, and make sure you're well fed. It's like having 10 or more grandmas.

Plus with the singles groups there is always this unspoken tension between...are we gathering together so we can find a mate..or are we just gathering together for activities doughnuts and punch?

Maybe I've just been lucky at churches I attend. It's been easy to blend in, get fellowship, and not feel like the odd stray single.
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This is SO true.
If I walk into any church and just stand around looking kind of lost,
the old ladies will just start feeding me.

It's the coolest thing ever.
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#36
#36
1still_waters said:
I'm a single stray, so I can be offensive regarding my own group. :p

Can't decide if I'm an ape, giraffe, or maybe a furry lil rabbit.
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My singles group feels more like a petting zoo or an animal shelter. Our congregation's de facto mother-to-all, while cleaning up the kitchen after potluck today, almost kind of just pets me out of pity, it seems. "Oh, Shour, sweetie. Every time you cook something, I spend the rest of the day praying that the Lord sends you a mate. [Yes, she said 'mate,' like an animal boarding the Ark or something. - Sh.] I don't want you to stop cooking for us, but you deserve to be cooking for someone who's going to love you for it." Sometimes, it's all I can do to not say, "Well, clearly God is seeing things differently at the moment!"

Petting zoo certainly seems more apropos, since she's insistent on hugging me and doting on me (she still tries to stuff me with donuts or cake every Sunday), but she clearly can't take me home. It's one thing when my own mother treats me like a child, but it's another thing when it's someone else's mother doing so. ^_^
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#37
#37
Shouryu said:
My singles group feels more like a petting zoo or an animal shelter. Our congregation's de facto mother-to-all, while cleaning up the kitchen after potluck today, almost kind of just pets me out of pity, it seems. "Oh, Shour, sweetie. Every time you cook something, I spend the rest of the day praying that the Lord sends you a mate. [Yes, she said 'mate,' like an animal boarding the Ark or something. - Sh.] I don't want you to stop cooking for us, but you deserve to be cooking for someone who's going to love you for it." Sometimes, it's all I can do to not say, "Well, clearly God is seeing things differently at the moment!"

Petting zoo certainly seems more apropos, since she's insistent on hugging me and doting on me (she still tries to stuff me with donuts or cake every Sunday), but she clearly can't take me home. It's one thing when my own mother treats me like a child, but it's another thing when it's someone else's mother doing so. ^_^
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It's still free well prepared food. :p
 
C

Chey60

Guest
#38
#38
1still_waters said:
Due to the stray, disconnected aspect of being single , I prefer just blending in with others in the church. If you're a single in a church with older golden girls, it's a HUGE plus. They LOVE LOVE LOVE to bake and cook, and make sure you're well fed. It's like having 10 or more grandmas.

Plus with the singles groups there is always this unspoken tension between...are we gathering together so we can find a mate..or are we just gathering together for activities doughnuts and punch?

Maybe I've just been lucky at churches I attend. It's been easy to blend in, get fellowship, and not feel like the odd stray single.
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oh me too. I get invited to dinner, thanksgiving , christmas AND new years..
but for me it's all women and as I said before, I get tired of only hanging with chikas:)
I like men and would love to be able to meet more men and have them at least be in my company.
I love my married couples but those men don't always count (tho they do in a pinch as far as at least having guys around) :)

you are blessed that the ladies take good care of you.
I don't think the single men in our church have ladies doing that :)
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#39
#39
Chey60 said:
oh me too. I get invited to dinner, thanksgiving , christmas AND new years..
but for me it's all women and as I said before, I get tired of only hanging with chikas:)
I like men and would love to be able to meet more men and have them at least be in my company.
I love my married couples but those men don't always count (tho they do in a pinch as far as at least having guys around) :)

you are blessed that the ladies take good care of you.
I don't think the single men in our church have ladies doing that :)
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Could be my good looks, charm, wit, and ability to make things up. :p
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#40
Sep 17, 2013
5,539
2,713
113
Georgia
#40
no we don't.... hardly any single young men at all.
 
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