Doomed to be single?

[Scribe]

For Paul marriage was a waste of time. Period.
I don't think I'm going to get any disagreement on that point.

Kind of a harsh way of putting it. Maybe not the most profitable use of his time in accomplishing his objective of planting churches. It would distract from this mission.

 

[GWYW_Bob]

Aha, so THAT'S your game! You're here to castigate us singles for being single, and you want to guilt-trip us into finding spouses.

Good luck on that. We've already gone around and around with the "Christians have a holy duty to marry" debates. We're old hands at this argument.

You want to try to convince any of us we should get out there and find a spouse? Go ahead, give us your best fastball, curveball, or even spitball pitch.

Who cares what I think or anyone else? This issue is clear. You have a Bible. What else is needed? Reading 1 Corinthians 7 without jumping around make it clear. Observing how most people are is clear too. Most people need a spouse and a spouse is a great thing to have.

You know all those years I could have capitulated to the pastors and elders and the books of the day who now were saying that we don't have to marry. None of them could answer me how does a single person deal with their sex drive then. But the Bible is simple and clear-It is better to marry than to burn. Not masturbate, not porn, not excrcising excessively, not by becoming a monk, but getting married. I always clung to what the Bible said. Fortunately at 53 I had a pastor who believed I indeed needed a wife and so did most people, and he actually went out of his way to try to find one, and actually succeeded. That's the love of Christ. He helped meet a biblical need. Eveyone one could have cared less apparently.

My pastor had a different interpretation of the Bible than you do. There is no arguement to make. Marriage is also so much more than the resolve of burning. The companionship can't be beat, the closeness, it is as the Bible is the grace of life. But it isn't for everyone. As you know some don't burn so they don't need marriage. That does not make them better than the norm.

 

[GWYW_Bob]

Kind of a harsh way of putting it. Maybe not the most profitable use of his time in accomplishing his objective of planting churches. It would distract from this mission.

I agree with you. Paul was very concerned about other people, not just what was best for himself. Paul was revolutionary in his support of marriage and how men ought to treat their wives. Yet some consider him Mr. Single or something. He just wanted what was best for each; some married and some not married.

 

[Scribe]

Who cares what I think or anyone else? This issue is clear. You have a Bible. What else is needed? Reading 1 Corinthians 7 without jumping around make it clear. Observing how most people are is clear too. Most people need a spouse and a spouse is a great thing to have.

You know all those years I could have capitulated to the pastors and elders and the books of the day who now were saying that we don't have to marry. None of them could answer me how does a single person deal with their sex drive then. But the Bible is simple and clear-It is better to marry than to burn. Not masturbate, not porn, not excrcising excessively, not by becoming a monk, but getting married. I always clung to what the Bible said. Fortunately at 53 I had a pastor who believed I indeed needed a wife and so did most people, and he actually went out of his way to try to find one, and actually succeeded. That's the love of Christ. He helped meet a biblical need. Eveyone one could have cared less apparently.

My pastor had a different interpretation of the Bible than you do. There is no arguement to make. Marriage is also so much more than the resolve of burning. The companionship can't be beat, the closeness, it is as the Bible is the grace of life. But it isn't for everyone. As you know some don't burn so they don't need marriage. That does not make them better than the norm.

I agree that what Paul said was to avoid fornication a man or a woman should marry. However, I believe he was talking about the natural sex drive not deviate sexual behavior that should be mastered before entering into marriage. For example, statistics suggest that most people with porn addictions are not cured by marriage.

 

[GWYW_Bob]

The context was left out for brevity. But here it is so that you can see that it is the SAME context and subject.

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. (this is not a command to marry, but a solution offered)
If they can contain, stay single is better. They asked him for his opinion and he told them. if they cannot contain then let them marry problem solved, what is not an option is sexual sin. Contain or Marry. Contain is better.

Then in 35 he is still talking about the very same thing...

35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

.. Let them marry in the above context does not mean he is commanding them to marry but again offering the solution to "behaveth himself uncomely" Pauls answer is still "behave yourself in a comely manner and attend upon the Lord without distraction, or .. marry, but if you do marry you have not sinned. Do not think you let the Lord down and are less of a Christian because you did not have the gift to stay single and behave yourself.

I do not see anything in the text of 1 Cor 7 that says that Paul said that MOST Spirit Filled Christians will have a problem containing themselves. I think that is our own ideas about our own realities or our perceptions based on our friends or life experiences.

I am fully persuaded that MOST Christians can experience complete control over these natural desires and that they can become irrelevant to their current mission and calling. Now some will not.. and so let them marry. They do not sin if they marry. They have not failed their calling.

You might be pursuaded but most people can't do that and aren't going to do that. Even after the sexual desire wanes with age, marriage is still going to best because of the companionship. Spirit-filled Christians are able to fulfill the calling of marriage all the way to the end.

Let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her husband has the force of a command. Why? Because they must avoid fornication. There is a good way to do that.

 

[GaryA]

The context was left out for brevity. But here it is so that you can see that it is the SAME context and subject.

9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. (this is not a command to marry, but a solution offered)
If they can contain, stay single is better. They asked him for his opinion and he told them. if they cannot contain then let them marry problem solved, what is not an option is sexual sin. Contain or Marry. Contain is better.

Then in 35 he is still talking about the very same thing...

35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

.. Let them marry in the above context does not mean he is commanding them to marry but again offering the solution to "behaveth himself uncomely" Pauls answer is still "behave yourself in a comely manner and attend upon the Lord without distraction, or .. marry, but if you do marry you have not sinned. Do not think you let the Lord down and are less of a Christian because you did not have the gift to stay single and behave yourself.

I do not see anything in the text of 1 Cor 7 that says that Paul said that MOST Spirit Filled Christians will have a problem containing themselves. I think that is our own ideas about our own realities or our perceptions based on our friends or life experiences.

I am fully persuaded that MOST Christians can experience complete control over these natural desires and that they can become irrelevant to their current mission and calling. Now some will not.. and so let them marry. They do not sin if they marry. They have not failed their calling.

I was not referring to leaving out the rest of the passage - I meant you were using the verse in a way that did not agree with what the verse is actually saying.

1 Corinthians 7:36-37 is not talking about having an/the "option" to marry. Rather, it is talking about a man not being able to wait until he is married having sex with his fiance (modern scenario) before they actually get married.

The phrase 'keep his virgin' in verse 37 is referring to his "maintaining himself" while she "remains a virgin" until they marry.

The phrase 'behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin' in verse 36 is referring to the man acting in an "unrespectable" fashion toward his bride-to-be (as a side-effect or by-product of his inability to "contain").

In modern terms, it is saying - if the man "just can't help himself" and has sex with his bride-to-be before they are married - it is not counted as sin [against him] if they "go ahead" and get married.

 

[GWYW_Bob]

7 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband

After reading the entire chapter I think it is obvious that he is saying "Most Christians would do better to be like him (celibate and single and too consumed with Christ to notice) but to avoid fornication let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband"

Paul knows better than to think most Christians can do that. He was given a gift to do that. A gift reserved for...not many. He is simply being realistic. Saying they would do better to be like him but then lacking the gift to do that is meaningless. Paul made his decision to use his gift of singleness for the sake of the kingdom. Good for him. There isn't even a commandment to do so if someone had that rare gift but they probably would choose beign single because they don't hunger for marriage. The rest of us need to be married unless we want to deal with unrelenting sexual temptation, which is unnecessary when marriage is what God tells them is best.

 

[GWYW_Bob]

I agree that what Paul said was to avoid fornication a man or a woman should marry. However, I believe he was talking about the natural sex drive not deviate sexual behavior that should be mastered before entering into marriage. For example, statistics suggest that most people with porn addictions are not cured by marriage.

And I agree with you. Paul wasn't getting into all that. Fornication is not to be named once among us. Naturally, merely getting married is not going to cure lust or sexual deviation, that is a good point you made and the rest of the Bible would bring that out. He probably wasn't answering a question about sexual devation. We can see just how many marriages are ravaged because someone was addicted to porn or committed adultery. Lust will be a temptation in marriage as long as both sexes are alive, well not too old.

But who can master their sex drive as a teenager or twenty year old man or woman? If they could master it, they wouldn't need to marry.

 

[Scribe]

I was not referring to leaving out the rest of the passage - I meant you were using the verse in a way that did not agree with what the verse is actually saying.

1 Corinthians 7:36-37 is not talking about having an/the "option" to marry. Rather, it is talking about a man not being able to wait until he is married having sex with his fiance (modern scenario) before they actually get married.

The phrase 'keep his virgin' in verse 37 is referring to his "maintaining himself" while she "remains a virgin" until they marry.

The phrase 'behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin' in verse 36 is referring to the man acting in an "unrespectable" fashion toward his bride-to-be (as a side-effect or by-product of his inability to "contain").

In modern terms, it is saying - if the man "just can't help himself" and has sex with his bride-to-be before they are married - it is not counted as sin [against him] if they "go ahead" and get married.

AND he is not sinning if he marries.

 

[JeremiahsCup]

Well most "Singles" aren't really singles, they are the wolves in disguise. It is only correct for two virgins to marry, and if you have not noticed this is an evil time when Babylon's children the sluts of every stripe reign. For the virgins then too it is harder because there is an imbalance of it in genders and there is much societal disdain for them, especially the males. Oh how Satan's children echo his taunting lie to the male virgin saints saying join the sluts of Babylon or just die in all their many ways and wicked advices. Lord Jesus preserve us though we are condemned to be expected to love everyone but be loved by none.

 

[Scribe]

Paul knows better than to think most Christians can do that. He was given a gift to do that. A gift reserved for...not many. He is simply being realistic. Saying they would do better to be like him but then lacking the gift to do that is meaningless. Paul made his decision to use his gift of singleness for the sake of the kingdom. Good for him. There isn't even a commandment to do so if someone had that rare gift but they probably would choose beign single because they don't hunger for marriage. The rest of us need to be married unless we want to deal with unrelenting sexual temptation, which is unnecessary when marriage is what God tells them is best.

I agree with the advice Paul gave and I will give the same advice to all that ask, and Christians are always asking.

I do not expect most Christians to be like Paul because most Christians are no where near Paul in total pursuit of Christ.
Occasionally a young man or woman will be desiring the call to the single life and celibacy and it will be an exciting and joyful concept to them because they have the Grace of God to follow that call. They WANT to. It is not a sad or melancholy concept to them. They imagine themselves accomplishing great things by devoting all of their time to the cause of Christ. However it is just a fantasy that they are entertaining in their minds. I doubt I will meet many people in my lifetime that will actually live like that.

I am not attending to the Lord as a single person right now in such a way that I could not do the same if I were married.

So even though I agree with the principle of undistracted ministry focus as a single I am not actually living it. I am focused. I am in ministry. I attend unto the Lord. But I do not think what I do now would be decreased by marriage. I guess that means I need to increase my attention to the Lord. Otherwise I am wasting this single gift?

To be honest, my favorite part of being single is that I really love my ME time, not having to answer to anyone and being able to sleep as late as I want on my days off, not hear any criticism or have to change ANYTHING someone does not like about anything I do. That is my favorite part of being single. Paul was not talking about that.

 

[Lynx]

Who cares what I think or anyone else? This issue is clear. You have a Bible. What else is needed? Reading 1 Corinthians 7 without jumping around make it clear. Observing how most people are is clear too. Most people need a spouse and a spouse is a great thing to have.

You know all those years I could have capitulated to the pastors and elders and the books of the day who now were saying that we don't have to marry. None of them could answer me how does a single person deal with their sex drive then. But the Bible is simple and clear-It is better to marry than to burn. Not masturbate, not porn, not excrcising excessively, not by becoming a monk, but getting married. I always clung to what the Bible said. Fortunately at 53 I had a pastor who believed I indeed needed a wife and so did most people, and he actually went out of his way to try to find one, and actually succeeded. That's the love of Christ. He helped meet a biblical need. Eveyone one could have cared less apparently.

My pastor had a different interpretation of the Bible than you do. There is no arguement to make. Marriage is also so much more than the resolve of burning. The companionship can't be beat, the closeness, it is as the Bible is the grace of life. But it isn't for everyone. As you know some don't burn so they don't need marriage. That does not make them better than the norm.

cv5 and others are doing a great job debating you, so I'm just going to flatly state my position.

I'm a Pentecostal minister, I have read the Bible through multiple times, and the Bible does not say anywhere anything close to what you claim it is saying.

Personally I am exactly where I need to be right now. If I were married I would not be able to do what I am doing, and what I am doing is a service that is needed.

My current situation is temporary, as all life is temporary. It may change next month... or it may not change for ten years. But I'm remaining here until it does change. When it changes, I might need a wife or I might need to remain single. But that's God's call, not yours.

While the Bible doesn't say anything about a Christian duty to marry, it does say a LOT about being content where you are.

You can look down on single people if you want, but we're not buying your sanctimonious junk and your Bible verses ripped out of context and twisted to fit what you want to believe. Go peddle your guilt trip somewhere else.

 

[cv5]

Who cares what I think or anyone else? This issue is clear. You have a Bible. What else is needed? Reading 1 Corinthians 7 without jumping around make it clear. Observing how most people are is clear too. Most people need a spouse and a spouse is a great thing to have.

You know all those years I could have capitulated to the pastors and elders and the books of the day who now were saying that we don't have to marry. None of them could answer me how does a single person deal with their sex drive then. But the Bible is simple and clear-It is better to marry than to burn. Not masturbate, not porn, not excrcising excessively, not by becoming a monk, but getting married. I always clung to what the Bible said. Fortunately at 53 I had a pastor who believed I indeed needed a wife and so did most people, and he actually went out of his way to try to find one, and actually succeeded. That's the love of Christ. He helped meet a biblical need. Eveyone one could have cared less apparently.

My pastor had a different interpretation of the Bible than you do. There is no arguement to make. Marriage is also so much more than the resolve of burning. The companionship can't be beat, the closeness, it is as the Bible is the grace of life. But it isn't for everyone. As you know some don't burn so they don't need marriage. That does not make them better than the norm.

Some people are cut out for marriage that's for sure. It's the most natural thing on earth for them.
I will have to check my Bible but I believe there is in fact one command pertaining to marriage, that being that you must marry another confirmed believing Christian. Something that I found to be so near to impossible that I abandoned the entire project.....gladly and willingly. I had Holy Spirit warning bells going off and heeded them. Glad I did let me tell you. I had a continuous loop of Abraham and Hagar running through my head lol.

 

[cv5]

View attachment 217700

BTW, A mean spirited, bitter, joyless woman who is constantly seeking out and grasping after the things of this present world is probably the worst choice for a spouse. I thank God to have avoided those types as well.

 

[cv5]

cv5 and others are doing a great job debating you, so I'm just going to flatly state my position.

I'm a Pentecostal minister, I have read the Bible through multiple times, and the Bible does not say anywhere anything close to what you claim it is saying.

Personally I am exactly where I need to be right now. If I were married I would not be able to do what I am doing, and what I am doing is a service that is needed.

My current situation is temporary, as all life is temporary. It may change next month... or it may not change for ten years. But I'm remaining here until it does change. When it changes, I might need a wife or I might need to remain single. But that's God's call, not yours.

While the Bible doesn't say anything about a Christian duty to marry, it does say a LOT about being content where you are.

You can look down on single people if you want, but we're not buying your sanctimonious junk and your Bible verses ripped out of context and twisted to fit what you want to believe. Go peddle your guilt trip somewhere else.

You nailed it brother. Completely agree we should be contented exactly where you are and should things change due to God's calling, allow the Holy Spirit to inform you. And for pity's sake never allow yourself to be coerced into a marriage due to family pressure social pressure and certainly not Church pressure.

 

[Kim82]

I thank God to have avoided those types as well.

Well done.

 

[Kim82]

You can look down on single people if you want,

Did you read all the way to the end where it said marriage is not for everyone?

But it isn't for everyone. As you know some don't burn so they don't need marriage. That does not make them better than the norm.

How is that looking down on singles?

I'm a Pentecostal minister, I have read the Bible through multiple times, and the Bible does not say anywhere anything close to what you claim it is saying.

Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Ecclesiastes 4:11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

You can look down on single people if you want, but we're not buying your sanctimonious junk

If I were married I would not be able to do what I am doing,

True. But not to worry, should your status change, I'm seeing a likely successor who will defend the single/virginity cause with just as much vim, vigour and vitality as yourself.

 

[cv5]

Did you read all the way to the end where it said marriage is not for everyone?



How is that looking down on singles?


Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Ecclesiastes 4:11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?



True. But not to worry, should your status change, I'm seeing a likely successor who will defend the single/virginity cause with just as much vim, vigour and vitality as yourself.

Truth be told I am defending the single/virginity case because of the sheer joy of it. The joy of singleness that is, as in unmarried with no children. In fact I can tell you with complete honesty that I experienced long multi-year duration bouts of such scintillating ebullient cheerfulness and unabashed exultation and rejoicing, I almost felt sorry for other people. I kid you not.

Not having anything and not worrying about anything is a great deal of fun, let me tell you.

 

[Kim82]

Truth be told I am defending the single/virginity case because of the sheer joy of it. The joy of singleness that is, as in unmarried with no children. In fact I can tell you with complete honesty that I experienced long multi-year duration bouts of such scintillating ebullient cheerfulness and unabashed exultation and rejoicing, I almost felt sorry for other people. I kid you not.

Not having anything and not worrying about anything is a great deal of fun, let me tell you.

Oh no, you again? Oh gosh, I need some more emoji options. I'm not seeing anything here to express myself right now.
I need one that will express annoyance from an annoying person.

 

[JeremiahsCup]

Truth be told I am defending the single/virginity case because of the sheer joy of it. The joy of singleness that is, as in unmarried with no children. In fact I can tell you with complete honesty that I experienced long multi-year duration bouts of such scintillating ebullient cheerfulness and unabashed exultation and rejoicing, I almost felt sorry for other people. I kid you not.

Not having anything and not worrying about anything is a great deal of fun, let me tell you.

Oh are you a candidate for the 144,000 male virgin saints also? Many will be called, few will be chosen for the elite special forces of the Lord God!