Finding a good Christian girl from France to marry
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Um, the six questions stated by me. Only if you know, thanks.
> How many single Christian girls are there in France compared to USA & the English world (excluding migrants)?
> In what aspects are Christian girls in France different from Christian girls in USA?
> How different are girls from each of the regions of France (for example the ones from the Sud Ouest & the ones from Grand Est)?
> How different are urban girls from rural girls in France?
> How hard it is to find a 15-18yo girl who is a virgin in France?
> Give me some advice about finding & dating in France if you wish.
> How many single Christian girls are there in France compared to USA & the English world (excluding migrants)?
> In what aspects are Christian girls in France different from Christian girls in USA?
> How different are girls from each of the regions of France (for example the ones from the Sud Ouest & the ones from Grand Est)?
> How different are urban girls from rural girls in France?
> How hard it is to find a 15-18yo girl who is a virgin in France?
> Give me some advice about finding & dating in France if you wish.
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I doubt there is anyone on this forum with that kind of knowledge of France to give you answers to your questions.
But since you sound like a hormonal teenager pursuing a fantasy, let's think this through. What if the women who do meet the French, Christian, and virgin requirements are brown-eyed? What if she's a strong enough Christian that she doesn't need much spiritual comfort from you because she's confident in her forgiveness rather than crying before God frequently? What if all those young Christian virgins aren't ready to seriously consider marriage in their teens because they have other life goals they're pursuing instead? What if a healthy Christian woman is a bit more self reliant and independent than your fantasy woman? And while we're on those points, what if a woman who looks like your perfect Christian woman is the kind of woman who has done everything but technically lose her virginity with previous boyfriends?
Most importantly, what if God were to tell you no, that in your current imaginative and emotional state he's not going to bring such young women around you because you have some maturing to do yet and wouldn't be a blessing to them ( I don't know if that's the way things are, but a good heart check to ask yourself such questions)? Or one God smackdown from my own past, what if you meet someone and genuinely love her and pray for God's best for her, but God's best turns out to be a different man to be her husband?
Seeking marriage primarily due to fear of lonliness is a bad idea; Lonliness isn't something to fear, just one of those less than pleasant life experiences we all need to learn to deal with in a positive (rather than self destructive) way. And while a good marriage can be a huge blessing, it isn't and should not be considered a need because all of us will have to live some stretches of our life without marriage. (Though I personally consider long term singleness peferrable to previous ages where you may have to marry someone you couldn't stand for the social / political / financial benefits).
But since you sound like a hormonal teenager pursuing a fantasy, let's think this through. What if the women who do meet the French, Christian, and virgin requirements are brown-eyed? What if she's a strong enough Christian that she doesn't need much spiritual comfort from you because she's confident in her forgiveness rather than crying before God frequently? What if all those young Christian virgins aren't ready to seriously consider marriage in their teens because they have other life goals they're pursuing instead? What if a healthy Christian woman is a bit more self reliant and independent than your fantasy woman? And while we're on those points, what if a woman who looks like your perfect Christian woman is the kind of woman who has done everything but technically lose her virginity with previous boyfriends?
Most importantly, what if God were to tell you no, that in your current imaginative and emotional state he's not going to bring such young women around you because you have some maturing to do yet and wouldn't be a blessing to them ( I don't know if that's the way things are, but a good heart check to ask yourself such questions)? Or one God smackdown from my own past, what if you meet someone and genuinely love her and pray for God's best for her, but God's best turns out to be a different man to be her husband?
Seeking marriage primarily due to fear of lonliness is a bad idea; Lonliness isn't something to fear, just one of those less than pleasant life experiences we all need to learn to deal with in a positive (rather than self destructive) way. And while a good marriage can be a huge blessing, it isn't and should not be considered a need because all of us will have to live some stretches of our life without marriage. (Though I personally consider long term singleness peferrable to previous ages where you may have to marry someone you couldn't stand for the social / political / financial benefits).
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Brutally honest, but fair.
Short version: Grow up a bit, lose some of your preconceived ideas about what she has to be and try again later. Trying to find a girl because you think you simply MUST have a girl to escape being lonely is the single best way to get a really crappy marriage. If you think you just gots to get a girl RIGHT NOW... you're not ready for a girl.
Short version: Grow up a bit, lose some of your preconceived ideas about what she has to be and try again later. Trying to find a girl because you think you simply MUST have a girl to escape being lonely is the single best way to get a really crappy marriage. If you think you just gots to get a girl RIGHT NOW... you're not ready for a girl.
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Certain preferences like the eye colour are variable, but I can't stand things such as previous boyfriends.
I don't want a girl that has had boyfriends in the past because she has abused and spoiled her gift and will no longer love a guy with her heart, she will only crave for her own interests and will quickly jump to another guy whenever she feels like 'Ohh this guy is so amazing' (these girls will cheat A LOT on their partners because they never feel satisfied), this is why I only want virgins. I don't want her to be very independent either because such girls will hardly submit to their husbands and tend to be secretive and individualistic which is not good for a healthy marriage, they are often selfish too & may easily cheat or divorce once they find their endless whims unmet, this is why I prefer more dependent girls. And as for other life goals, it depends, one thing is to finish school or studies and another is to 'enjoy the youth', and if she's not considering marriage as a life goal by age 20, she's definitely not in the right direction, also she SHOULD remain pure & chaste regardless of whether or not pursuing marriage (and no, oral sex is NOT purity, a pure girl abstains from any premarital sexual activity with OR without penetration). And what do you even mean by 'confident in her forgiveness'?
It's true though that I'm not fully mature yet, and that maybe I'm not as good as I like to think. I have been struggling with sexual immorality for a couple of years so I don't deserve the girl of my dreams for now, but I hope God will help me & save me one day from this darkness, I really hate being impure I should be clean like my dreams girl! I don't want to be inconsistent so I will start pursuing my dream once I remain clean for a time. But I expect my future wife to be the same in return.
But I seriously will not be able to stand loneliness beyond 30 (or maybe even as young as 25) because my passion is already too strong now, I have no idea on how will I fight it at my 30th birthday if I can hardly fight it at 18!
I don't want a girl that has had boyfriends in the past because she has abused and spoiled her gift and will no longer love a guy with her heart, she will only crave for her own interests and will quickly jump to another guy whenever she feels like 'Ohh this guy is so amazing' (these girls will cheat A LOT on their partners because they never feel satisfied), this is why I only want virgins. I don't want her to be very independent either because such girls will hardly submit to their husbands and tend to be secretive and individualistic which is not good for a healthy marriage, they are often selfish too & may easily cheat or divorce once they find their endless whims unmet, this is why I prefer more dependent girls. And as for other life goals, it depends, one thing is to finish school or studies and another is to 'enjoy the youth', and if she's not considering marriage as a life goal by age 20, she's definitely not in the right direction, also she SHOULD remain pure & chaste regardless of whether or not pursuing marriage (and no, oral sex is NOT purity, a pure girl abstains from any premarital sexual activity with OR without penetration). And what do you even mean by 'confident in her forgiveness'?
It's true though that I'm not fully mature yet, and that maybe I'm not as good as I like to think. I have been struggling with sexual immorality for a couple of years so I don't deserve the girl of my dreams for now, but I hope God will help me & save me one day from this darkness, I really hate being impure I should be clean like my dreams girl! I don't want to be inconsistent so I will start pursuing my dream once I remain clean for a time. But I expect my future wife to be the same in return.
But I seriously will not be able to stand loneliness beyond 30 (or maybe even as young as 25) because my passion is already too strong now, I have no idea on how will I fight it at my 30th birthday if I can hardly fight it at 18!
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Hoo boy! You are DEFINITELY not ready for a spouse! You'd micromanage the poor girl to death.
What you want is some sort of emotionally dependent gorgeous slave girl. I think you have to buy those, and it's illegal too.
God gave you hormones but He also gave you a brain. Trying to excuse your demands with the hormone defense won't work.
What you want is some sort of emotionally dependent gorgeous slave girl. I think you have to buy those, and it's illegal too.
God gave you hormones but He also gave you a brain. Trying to excuse your demands with the hormone defense won't work.
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So she has to be pure and never screw up or even date chastely, but your struggles should all be forgiven? The words that come to mind are double standard and hypocrisy. Also, marriage doesn't cure lonliness or struggles with sexual immorality. Just take a look over at the family forum to see examples of Christians whose marriages are still struggling with such things. What happens if your perfectly chaste virgin marries you and then decides that she just doesn't like sex much and doesn't want to have sex very often ( or can't for some medical reason)?
Since you're going to have to learn to fight and practice self control in this area of life regardless, better start strategizing for victory rather than make a nebulous future wife the magic bullet that's going to fix all of that.
Since you're going to have to learn to fight and practice self control in this area of life regardless, better start strategizing for victory rather than make a nebulous future wife the magic bullet that's going to fix all of that.
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That's not in the bible. The closest you can get to that is reciprocal commands for wives to submit to their husbands (who are commanded to love their wives as christ loved the church) and the "curses" after the fall where Eve was told that her desire would be for her husband and he would rule over her. All that help (mate, meet) stuff in the creation accounts.... yeah the word used for help there is like the lifesaving kind of help not the dutiful assistant kind of help.
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Please read my post again, I stated that I will first fight my own flaws and then pursue marriage. If you're not sure, my struggles are onanism and lustful thoughts, but I never dated a girl and I have never entered into any sexual contact with anyone. I started with onanism when I was a preteen and not only was I unaware of the Christian condemnation of such act, I wasn't even a Christian! But believe me, now I want to stop that, I really want to stop that! I want to be pure and I want to save myself for my future wife! I could excuse my own lust on my hormones too but I don't, I know it's not a good thing and I know I have to stop it no matter how horny I am! I wish I never did that! It's gross and an insult to sex and marriage! I'd do anything to stop it, it's ruining my health & faith! And no, I'm not in favour of double standard, I think both men and women should stay pure till marriage! And I really want to be such, because only a pure man deserves a pure wife!
Yes, I will love my wife & pay attention to her anytime but she has to submit to my rules because I want her to be a woman of God, not a woman of the world. I only wish the best of her, I only want her to be a devout follower of Christ and raise children with the values of Christ, I don't want her to be a silent slave, I want her to be my happy helper!
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