FLIRTING POLL: harmless fun or serious intent

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Flirting represents

  • Serious Intentions, a way of indicated interest in another individual and should not be carelessly u

    Votes: 13 59.1%
  • Harmless Fun, a way to lift someone's spirits, make people smile or feel good about themselves. this

    Votes: 9 40.9%

  • Total voters
    22
D

DarlinNadia

Guest
#41
Yikes, I'm friendly but I'm not the least bit a playboy. I certainly don't chat up girls.
Sometimes I do chat people up... I'm super selective about who gets these attentions because if the receiving person is one that might mistake my intentions (those types that grab a hold of any attention from the opposite sex and gravitate and NEED that constant validation of their existence) That's just too much pressure... so a harmless flirt has to occur with someone of mutual understanding that the flirt is just that... harmless... It is VERY true some people just don't get it... and likely never will.

That said, I've come to be more careful about how I do this... in the past it was used to build ME up and I have to watch I do not get out of control myself because I am approachable and friendly - which is odd to say because most people tell me they are afraid of me and wanted me as a friend before they actually knew what kind of person I am. <--- that I still do not understand.

Sarcastic flirting is never meant to harm someone... ever... if someone is getting hurt, you're doing it wrong.



I don't have a personality though, so, there's that.
lol I found that very funny Kenthomas :)

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leta83

Guest
#42
Hello My name is Aleta and this is my first time here. Im looking for some christian fun and intellectual stimualation about christ. and this life
 
J

jeremyPJ

Guest
#43
I believe different people see flirting differently. I tended over the years to get flirted with and thought said person was just being friendly, as that is how I am. If I genuinely like someone's features I will tell them so, meaning it sincerely in a friendly way. But some take it wrong, thinking I'm flirting. And ironically I see people outright flirting in a forward way, and it's taken well when I would be gritting my teeth if it were thrown at me. Or if I said the same, it wouldn't go so well for me.

It's all kind of complicated, a matter of finding who's right for you. The matter of understanding and relating to people is an art form in itself. Some of us seem blessed and some of us need to work on it. I wish I had better blessings on this, maybe something I need to pray about.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#44
It is sad that it seems as though we have gotten to the point where we are uncomfortable in telling someone that we like their hair, clothing, etc. these days. And it's worse in the workplace where we have to be careful not to cross boundaries re: sexual harassment. :( I will compliment ladies in the business world, but very rarely men, and I feel kinda bad about it.

Funny thing is, it is sometimes those who are the most critical who are the most guilty. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has watched an office flirt (who even physically hangs on members of the opposite sex) twist the words of others into accusations against other employees when it suited their purposes.

Or folks who TALK about modesty and virtue, but display embarrassingly aggressive fruit.
 
P

parablepete

Guest
#45
Married Old Man....I feel like I should not be here.

That said, why don't you people QUIT your flurting and make something happen? If your looking for love or even a date, you must put a recent picture of yourself. Most men don't want an overweight woman.(even fat men) Women are the same way I guess??? If you have a lot of money, nice, kind, and kow the person they may give you a chance? When you get to be older like me that may change a little.

So that being said are there any girls 20-25 who live in Missouri here who would like a date with with my nephew? If yes I can get a picture. He is 23 a little shy, don't smoke, drink, run with wild women. very kind, flat belly, 5' 10", 150-160?, going to colege, works on a farm.

Now, what can we do to help out TinTin above avg. looks, very nice. I know he is on the prowl...:eek:) His pic. is nice, good education. Maybe go to chin whiskers and mustash? He may be getting all kinds of PM's I hope so. I think he's a nice guy. He hAS NICE TEETH!!!! why can't we someone hooked up with him?

TinTiN just truing to help fix you up man. You may not need me but you got me.
 
C

chimechn

Guest
#46
FLirting in my own understanding does not include the first type...flirting has sexual undertones..teasing for fun is different and being charming being yourself is also not flirting...
 
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parablepete

Guest
#47
Looks like my post just shut this post down.. That drives me nuts....LoL I am just trying to help all who come here including my Nephew.
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,426
2,416
113
#48
My first year in university I made friends with a guy who was a total flirt. We're talking touchy feely, would kiss me on the head or the cheek occasionally, would tell me he loved me and sign his e-mails love always, etc. He treated everyone in a flirtatious manner (including my roommate's gay friend) and I always knew that we were just friends and he wasn't seriously romantically interested in me. It still really entangled my emotions and messed with them big time (and I am a relatively unemotional person). To the point that one of the few things I regret in my life is not standing up for myself enough to tell him that it wasn't ok to flirt with me like that.

I definitely distinguish between teasing and flirting. I'll tease my friends about stuff like stupid but ultimately harmless things they've done that I'm not going to let them forget, and I would never consider that flirting.

So I guess my request to all those who think flirting is just harmless fun is to be careful to guard the hearts of your brothers and sisters in Christ. Life throws enough crap at us without us inadvertently hurting or confusing each other.
 
M

mrsouthside

Guest
#49
Some of the stuff I say to people is a way to uplift them, to encourage them, but what I say is the truth. Yet yes I agree that with that type of (so called flirting) can be read the wrong way.
I don't think opening doors, holding a lady's hand as she walks up and down stairs, escourting them to their car or someplace is being flirty; it is being a Gentleman.

*yet what I call flirting and not (so called flirting) is meant for the one I'm with or someone I am interested in.
 

TheAristocat

Senior Member
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
26
0
#50
Usually the time I take it seriously is when I find out the woman has a ring. Then I step back and call it a day.
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
6,062
3,413
113
#51
It is sad that it seems as though we have gotten to the point where we are uncomfortable in telling someone that we like their hair, clothing, etc. these days. And it's worse in the workplace where we have to be careful not to cross boundaries re: sexual harassment. :( I will compliment ladies in the business world, but very rarely men, and I feel kinda bad about it.
It is a sad thing. One of the local GC's (a large corporation) that I do a lot of work with has their sexual harassment policy posted on every job site. At least their policy clearly defines what is and is not considered to be sexual harassment.
 
P

parablepete

Guest
#52
Sexual Harassment Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature that tends to create a hostile or offensive work environment.
Sexual harassment is a form of Sex Discrimination that occurs in the workplace. Persons who are the victims of sexual harassment may sue under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (42 U.S.C.A. § 2000e et seq.), which prohibits sex discrimination in the workplace.
The federal courts did not recognize sexual harassment as a form of sex discrimination until the 1970s, because the problem originally was perceived as isolated incidents of flirtation in the workplace. Employers are now aware that they can be sued by the victims of workplace sexual harassment. The accusations of sexual harassment made by anita f. hill against Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas during his 1991 confirmation hearings also raised societal consciousness about this issue.
Courts and employers generally use the definition of sexual harassment contained in the guidelines of the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). This language has also formed the basis for most state laws prohibiting sexual harassment. The guidelines state:
Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when

  1. submission to such conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a term or condition of an individual's employment,
  2. submission to or rejection of such conduct by an individual is used as the basis for employment decisions affecting such individuals, or
  3. such conduct has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual's work performance or creating an intimidating, hostile, or offensive working environment. (29 C.F.R. § 1604.11 [1980])
A key part of the definition is the use of the word unwelcome. Unwelcome or uninvited conduct or communication of a sexual nature is prohibited; welcome or invited actions or words are not unlawful. Sexual or romantic interaction between consenting people at work may be offensive to observers or may violate company policy, but it is not sexual harassment.
The courts have generally concluded that a victim need not say or do a particular thing to indicate unwelcomeness. Instead, a court will review all of the circumstances to determine whether it was reasonably clear to the harasser that the conduct was unwelcome. The courts have recognized that victims may be afraid to express their discomfort if the harasser is their boss or is physically intimidating. Victims may be coerced into going along with sexual talk or activities because they believe they will be punished or fired if they protest. Consent can be given to a relationship and then withdrawn when the relationship ends. Once it is withdrawn, continued romantic or sexual words or actions are not protected by the past relationship and may be sexual harassment.
The law prohibits unwelcome "sexual" conduct and words or actions "of a sexual nature." Some conduct, such as hugging, may be sexual or nonsexual and must be evaluated in context. Sexual harassment may be physical, such as kissing, hugging, pinching, patting, grabbing, blocking the victim's path, leering or staring, or standing very close to the victim. It may also be verbal, which may be oral or written and could include requests
 
D

DarlinNadia

Guest
#53
Married Old Man....I feel like I should not be here.

That said, why don't you people QUIT your flurting and make something happen? If your looking for love or even a date, you must put a recent picture of yourself. Most men don't want an overweight woman.(even fat men) Women are the same way I guess??? If you have a lot of money, nice, kind, and kow the person they may give you a chance? When you get to be older like me that may change a little.

So that being said are there any girls 20-25 who live in Missouri here who would like a date with with my nephew? If yes I can get a picture. He is 23 a little shy, don't smoke, drink, run with wild women. very kind, flat belly, 5' 10", 150-160?, going to colege, works on a farm.

Now, what can we do to help out TinTin above avg. looks, very nice. I know he is on the prowl...:eek:) His pic. is nice, good education. Maybe go to chin whiskers and mustash? He may be getting all kinds of PM's I hope so. I think he's a nice guy. He hAS NICE TEETH!!!! why can't we someone hooked up with him?

TinTiN just truing to help fix you up man. You may not need me but you got me..
I have to say this is one of the most ignorant things I've read in my entire life. Speak for yourself or your kin but you cannot put this ignorance out on everyone else as a standard.

I am morbidly obese, I have never had trouble finding a man. What I'm looking for is clearly not something *I* am able to find because I believe that God's intervention is essential in locating the man HE wants me to make a partner.

Weight is not as big of an issue as you make it out to be. Also for the record, I personally PREFER crooked teeth. I dislike facial hair not because of the facial hair specifically but because I read lips and frankly I cannot read lips that are hidden by facial hair and that leaves me feeling very uncomfortable.

How is someone to know if someone has money or not... and so what if someone has money... that money belongs to *that* person respectively.

I have to be honest, in reading your post I was horrified that you were giving out any dating advice at all. You keep talking about your nephew and how you are trying to find him someone ... maybe spend more time praying for him and less time fixing him up with what you think is an appropriate woman because your eyes have clearly been tainted by society and your mildly sheltered life doesn't encompass ALL of society which was harshly apparent by your grossly stereotypical comment that was doomed to failure as it was based on prime-time TV programs that feed merely the flesh and exclude a phenomenal population of down to earth, kind, gentle, giving women (and men) that bare satisfying fruits and have God at their center. These people really do exist ..many are even physically fit (if that's some superficial requirement)

If you were simply making jokes and I took your post too seriously.. my bad for sounding off at you... however, keep in mind many people have access to the forums and when trash is written, someone's bound to cast it out. Perhaps, I do not understand your humor. Who knows.

Please do not ever attempt to play match-maker for me, I'll leave that up to God and I'm likely to destroy anyone you put in my path in some attempt to flirt with me - You did say something along the lines as stop flirting and just make it happen.. I CAN understand the need for some people to stop dancing around the subject and just date already...but, some people prefer the chase over being caught... THOSE people are better off not getting caught until they are more in line with God's word.

Peace Pete, I must say this is the only post that has rubbed me wrong and I think you are a decent guy that's just trying to help and offer the best advice that you can. If I have hurt your feelings or anything like that please understand I had to say what I had to say just as you had to say what you had to say.

-tif
 
Jun 25, 2010
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#54
I know folks who flirt like it's their second nature- they seem to have no control over it at times. Maybe they can start a class called Flirters Anonymous! I imagine much flirting would take place there though, voiding the reason why they've gathered...
 

Tommy379

Notorious Member
Jan 12, 2016
7,589
1,153
113
#55
It cost nothing to make someone smile, but I meant everything I say.
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,779
818
113
54
#56
Maybe both with respect to who it is.
Whether they are spoken for.
Whether they are close in age.
Whether their personality is the same.
And maybe a few other things.