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Isn't there a glaring problem with this post and each and every answer? There is nothing here about loving your spouse. This is all about self seeking, which of course is our nature. We are predominately evil which is why God has worked to teach us how to be good.
A husband should always seek the pleasure of his wife. HE does this to exemplify to his wife should that she always seek the pleasure of her husband. The responsibility of the marriage is directly on the shoulders of the husband. So many men choose to point out a wife's job while ignoring their own job and responsibility. "YOU are suppose to submit to me!!!" They say, while ignoring; "husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." IF a man understands his job then he exemplifies Christ within HIs marriage. HE submits to HIs wife in all things and takes responsibility for her and for his children including responsibility before God of all of their sins.
Things I see within this post? selfishness; lack of trust in God; self deception and worldliness.
Things we should practice instead? Love(which does not seek its own interests) trust in God, which leads to peace and all forms of godliness, practicing of the word so we do not deceive ourselves and separation from even hatred toward the ungodly things within this post.
Just my 2cents.
Love God with all your heart and soul and strength. All glory and praise and honor always to our God and father through whom all good things come.
A husband should always seek the pleasure of his wife. HE does this to exemplify to his wife should that she always seek the pleasure of her husband. The responsibility of the marriage is directly on the shoulders of the husband. So many men choose to point out a wife's job while ignoring their own job and responsibility. "YOU are suppose to submit to me!!!" They say, while ignoring; "husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." IF a man understands his job then he exemplifies Christ within HIs marriage. HE submits to HIs wife in all things and takes responsibility for her and for his children including responsibility before God of all of their sins.
Things I see within this post? selfishness; lack of trust in God; self deception and worldliness.
Things we should practice instead? Love(which does not seek its own interests) trust in God, which leads to peace and all forms of godliness, practicing of the word so we do not deceive ourselves and separation from even hatred toward the ungodly things within this post.
Just my 2cents.
Love God with all your heart and soul and strength. All glory and praise and honor always to our God and father through whom all good things come.
Joey, I don't see caution in choosing a spouse as something selfish. It seems rather wise, actually. Your post is very idealistic and of course once married these things should all happen. The original question was about preferences, which ARE important in a marriage no matter how you look at it. Two Christians who love the Lord above all things and put their spouse before themselves, live out their roles as Biblical husbands and wives, and all else that you mentioned can STILL struggle in a marriage where they are not compatible. That's just real life. Why set ourselves up for those hardships when we can take into account personality, compatibility and mutual preferences? Wouldn't having a marriage with a partner who shares interests and agrees on serious issues such as intimacy, child rearing or finances (the three most common reasons for marriage problems) be more glorifying to God than to just pick someone off the singles roster at church and die to self daily in an unhappy marriage the rest of our days? That sounds more like martyrdom than trusting God, in my humble opinion.
I did not suggest that prudence in choosing a partner was selfish. I was not speaking in general terms but answering this post specifically.
"What I am bringing up is those preferences that exist ONLY in marriage. Yes, I am talking about physical actions of affection. Now that I have been married, I have preferences, everything from public displays of affection to those reserved for the marital bed'
W
I really enjoyed your post. I think it's wonderful that you just put it honestly out there. Isn't this what everyone who is divorced thinks about? Here's what I think for whatever it's worth. I am divorced, not by my choice. If I was ever again in a serious relationship, I would leave no stone unturned in making sure we were on the same page. First up would be our commitment to God, and then to each other. Then I would have to feel stable on other subjects from sex to family, spending money, retirement, everything I could think of. I would pray pray pray. I would put trust in God. I would also openly discuss sex, which I think is a blessing from God, and a very important of a healthy marriage. In my church, I have taken 2 years of divorce care classes, and have had many many talks about what went wrong. All I have ever heard is lack of commitment to God and sex issues which lead to affairs. God has a plan for all of us, and maybe being alone isn't part of His plan. I would take my time in building the relationship, I would seek God's approval, and I would talk about everything. I think this would be a great new forum. God's blessings on you.
Ah, okay. I believe there's been a miscommunication, or just confusion about which post you meant since there wasn't a direct quotation in your first post that I could tell. Your post began with, "Isn't there a glaring problem with this post and each and every answer? There is nothing here about loving your spouse. This is all about self seeking, which of course is our nature." I took that to mean that your critique was for the OP as well as every response.