Getting back on the horse.
- Thread starter Theygaveutheirworst
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L
There's a book called The Singlehood Phenomenon, and it identifies the top ten reasons why singles aren't getting married and number 8 is "not dealing with prior heartbreak" .....so I feel it is definitely a good idea to give yourself time to heal. In the mean time focus on God, trust in Him and build friendships and serve.
I guess my question is this: Why is it so bad to stay off the horse for now? Why feel the need to get back on right now? There are some times when you actually should be off the horse, where you should lay down for a while, and allow Jesus to minister to that. I don't believe you should ever get in a relationship just because you're lonely. But you should be getting in a relationship because it's a partnership, your best friend, someone who can challenge you and encourage you, and for you to share your life with. Obviously being in a relationship does help with loneliness, but that shouldn't be your ultimate reason.
People might not tell you this but I think it's perfectly okay for you to not be okay right now because that's when Jesus can do so much work.
Don't give up. Remember, not all men are the same and not all women are the same. God has made each one of us unique. You are loved.
People might not tell you this but I think it's perfectly okay for you to not be okay right now because that's when Jesus can do so much work.
Don't give up. Remember, not all men are the same and not all women are the same. God has made each one of us unique. You are loved.
I guess I should better explain my situation. I haven't pursued a relationship since my last one ended over a year ago! I figured I would be all set to "get back on the horse" not too long after, since I really don't let my past hurts ruin my future- Trust me, I've done enough prayer about never wanting to become bitter after a break-up. I've just been "laying on the ground" with no real desire to get up.lol
Ecclesiastes 3
A Time for Everything
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
I constantly remind myself of these scriptures when I am not sure of my "situation" or current chapter in my life...there's time for everything I need to be faithful and true to God who will guide me to the timing he has in my life regardless of what it is
A Time for Everything
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
I constantly remind myself of these scriptures when I am not sure of my "situation" or current chapter in my life...there's time for everything I need to be faithful and true to God who will guide me to the timing he has in my life regardless of what it is
For some of us, the big illusion is that immediately plunging back into another relationship will stop the emotional hemorrhaging [and yes it took spell check to correct my spelling on that word], but getting back into the firing line while still wounded [no matter how much you tell yourself you are 'over it'...are you? no regrets? no what ifs?...and has this been a return cycle of going too fast into the next? etc etc only you can answer those things] ...means you are bringing into the new relationship unresolved issues that will damage or perhaps even ruin the new relationship.
I would suggest you now worry less about any relationship and let this crisis teach you something, let it bring perseverance and character. And let yourself heal. You are more wounded than you realize. But God will heal if you lay it at His feet. There is no ordained time of finding another or not, but God will have His timing, and you need to listen to it. There is also wisdom in a multitude of counselors. Of coarse you have to figure out who qualifies as a counselor is all....smile.
You need to just rest in God and become the man the woman you want is looking for. Do you want a fit girl? Be a fit man. Do you want a Christian? Be a good Christian. Do you want understanding and forgiveness, you get it! The more you do that the more you will be busy in Gods business and then you will be a beckon to the right one without having to reel her in with fear and timidity. You are a child of God..1 John 3:11....you are fearfully and wonderfully made...Psalms 139:14....You are a treasured possession....Exodus 19:5...So let yourself treat yourself that way. Give yourself permission to grieve. and heal, and grow! And in His light the hurt, and regrets, and what ifs, will be swallowed up in His love. Stay in prayer for Satan would love to kick you while your weak. Be diligent in the lord!
I would suggest you now worry less about any relationship and let this crisis teach you something, let it bring perseverance and character. And let yourself heal. You are more wounded than you realize. But God will heal if you lay it at His feet. There is no ordained time of finding another or not, but God will have His timing, and you need to listen to it. There is also wisdom in a multitude of counselors. Of coarse you have to figure out who qualifies as a counselor is all....smile.
You need to just rest in God and become the man the woman you want is looking for. Do you want a fit girl? Be a fit man. Do you want a Christian? Be a good Christian. Do you want understanding and forgiveness, you get it! The more you do that the more you will be busy in Gods business and then you will be a beckon to the right one without having to reel her in with fear and timidity. You are a child of God..1 John 3:11....you are fearfully and wonderfully made...Psalms 139:14....You are a treasured possession....Exodus 19:5...So let yourself treat yourself that way. Give yourself permission to grieve. and heal, and grow! And in His light the hurt, and regrets, and what ifs, will be swallowed up in His love. Stay in prayer for Satan would love to kick you while your weak. Be diligent in the lord!
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J
I think it's best to take your time and focus on growing your relationship with God. Through these relationships, God continues to grow and strengthen you. It's important that we try to base our decisions from God's guidance, not our own. Hence, trust the Lord and he will guide you with your future. I have personally learned that I may want something specific for my life, but God wants the complete opposite. I am learning to pray and ask God to guide me where he wants me to be instead of guiding me to where I want to be.
