"God Told ME to Marry You!" "Oh Yeah? Well God Told ME to Run!!!"

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
16,590
5,601
113
#21
oh the other time I recall is Paul writing to the newly converted gentiles that the younger widows had to marry as they were causing problems in church. Possibly cos their children were running around naked or being realy noisy and nobody could tell them off or something I dont know, thats just my speculation
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
16,590
5,601
113
#22
that ddnt mean PAUL himself was going to marry them though. He was just recommending that they get married to OTHER people
 

exegete

Active member
Dec 23, 2018
261
218
43
55
My Tiny Apartment
#23
Whenever I hear that someone has a message from God for me, I'm reminded of an exchange from the movie "Ladyhawk" (1985):

Navarre (Rutger Hauer): I have waited almost 2 years for a sign from God. So when I heard the warning bells of Aquilla, I knew the moment of my destiny had come - you will be my guiding angel.

Phillipe (Matthew Broderick): Sir, the truth is, I talk to God all the time and, no offense, but He never mentioned you.
 
S

Scribe

Guest
#24
The idea that God has someone special just for you and is going to make you both meet and you are supposed to know that they are the one is not in the bible.
It might be an easy to accept concept because we know that God is all knowing and so we deduce the rest from that.
Or some might get the idea from reading about Abrahams servent being lead to Rebekah after he puts out a fleece. However that story is specifically about being directed to a relative that would fulfil the servants orders and the objective of maintaining a Hebrew lineage. Not meant to teach that God has a special someone just for you.
Paul's teachings on remaining in the state you are called to the Corinthians due to the persecution and stress they were under and which was about to get worse demonstrates that marriage is a choice.
You can choose to marry the person based on common sense. If they have an anger issue, walk away, they are NOT THE ONE and God is not telling you to make a stupid choice.
If they seem perfect in every way but you really enjoy your freedom and alone time, you can walk away and stay celibate and alone. You did not turn down THE ONE GOD CHOSE for you. That is not how it works. If it were Paul would not have said what he said in 1 Cor 7.

Also,.... Princesses in history were historically very bad people. They willfully and knowingly were cruel to the peasants that they ruled over and took what they wanted from them to support their lavish lifestyles. So enough of the fairytales people. You are not a princess (and you really would not want to be if you knew the real ones) and there is no Knight in Shining armor (they were a murderous lot) coming to whisk you away and make you live in a castle and be happy ever after.

And there is not just ONE made JUST for you looking at the same moon you are tonight!

You get to choose. Choose wisely. If there are red flags do not ignore them, they will only become major problems later after you tie the knot.

If your potential person clicks their teeth with their spoon when they eat their cereal and this bothers you, and you plan to teach them how to eat with a spoon without making that noise, later after you get married, you should not go through with it. That person will resent you trying to change them and you will also find a billion other things that bother you. If you cant ignore things now do not plan to change them later.

I have more advice but I will wait until I see how this post is received. I am not going to waste my best advice on a hostile audience. :)
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
9,334
8,266
113
#25
The idea that God has someone special just for you and is going to make you both meet and you are supposed to know that they are the one is not in the bible.
It might be an easy to accept concept because we know that God is all knowing and so we deduce the rest from that.
Or some might get the idea from reading about Abrahams servent being lead to Rebekah after he puts out a fleece. However that story is specifically about being directed to a relative that would fulfil the servants orders and the objective of maintaining a Hebrew lineage. Not meant to teach that God has a special someone just for you.
Paul's teachings on remaining in the state you are called to the Corinthians due to the persecution and stress they were under and which was about to get worse demonstrates that marriage is a choice.
You can choose to marry the person based on common sense. If they have an anger issue, walk away, they are NOT THE ONE and God is not telling you to make a stupid choice.
If they seem perfect in every way but you really enjoy your freedom and alone time, you can walk away and stay celibate and alone. You did not turn down THE ONE GOD CHOSE for you. That is not how it works. If it were Paul would not have said what he said in 1 Cor 7.

Also,.... Princesses in history were historically very bad people. They willfully and knowingly were cruel to the peasants that they ruled over and took what they wanted from them to support their lavish lifestyles. So enough of the fairytales people. You are not a princess (and you really would not want to be if you knew the real ones) and there is no Knight in Shining armor (they were a murderous lot) coming to whisk you away and make you live in a castle and be happy ever after.

And there is not just ONE made JUST for you looking at the same moon you are tonight!

You get to choose. Choose wisely. If there are red flags do not ignore them, they will only become major problems later after you tie the knot.

If your potential person clicks their teeth with their spoon when they eat their cereal and this bothers you, and you plan to teach them how to eat with a spoon without making that noise, later after you get married, you should not go through with it. That person will resent you trying to change them and you will also find a billion other things that bother you. If you cant ignore things now do not plan to change them later.

I have more advice but I will wait until I see how this post is received. I am not going to waste my best advice on a hostile audience. :)
I wouldn't call it hostile but don't agree with most of what you said. Just one example, when Billy Graham saw his wife for the first time he KNEW he was going to marry her, and it turned out wonderful. Same with one of my Pastors. He saw his wife typing where he worked and asked about her. The guys told him 'stay away from her she's too religious/Christian'. He ignored them and they are now quite a dynamic duo for the Lord.
Oh btw I got a Princess balloon for my birthday:love: I'll try not to cut off too many heads.
 
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
113
#26
I wouldn't call it hostile but don't agree with most of what you said. Just one example, when Billy Graham saw his wife for the first time he KNEW he was going to marry her, and it turned out wonderful. Same with one of my Pastors. He saw his wife typing where he worked and asked about her. The guys told him 'stay away from her she's too religious/Christian'. He ignored them and they are now quite a dynamic duo for the Lord.
Oh btw I got a Princess balloon for my birthday:love: I'll try not to cut off too many heads.
She was too religious for a Pastor??? lol...
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
9,334
8,266
113
#27
She was too religious for a Pastor??? lol...
He was at IBM at the time and a little while later called to preach. He was the top salesman at the time. I guess some of his co-workers were on a different plane, lol.
 
S

Scribe

Guest
#29
I wouldn't call it hostile but don't agree with most of what you said. Just one example, when Billy Graham saw his wife for the first time he KNEW he was going to marry her, and it turned out wonderful. Same with one of my Pastors. He saw his wife typing where he worked and asked about her. The guys told him 'stay away from her she's too religious/Christian'. He ignored them and they are now quite a dynamic duo for the Lord.
Oh btw I got a Princess balloon for my birthday:love: I'll try not to cut off too many heads.
I am not sure how that contradicts anything I said. That happens everyday. People see someone and think "I am going to marry her" and they pursue her and they marry. I am sure that if Billy's bride to be had demonstrated tendencies toward psychotic melt downs temper tantrums and paranoid schizophrenia that Billy would have back off and found another one to decide "she is the one"

We never hear about the ones that someone thought "she's it" and then after witnessing her berate a waitress in public they look elsewhere. We only here about the "She's it" that worked out.

50% of the time it works out. When it doesn't it does not mean they MISSED God. It is more complicated than that. Usually it does not work out because of not being polite, kind, and easy to get along with. People argue too much. But there are many other reasons. Sometimes mental illness such as an addiction to the negative hormones released by always being in a crisis, so a crisis is always invented if there is not one handy. That kind of toxic relationship is common and always ends in restraining orders, jail sentences or other Jerry Springer fodder nonsense. And there are many other reasons in between but it does not mean that they were not THE ONE.

If it works out it is because they both made sure they were THE ONE by how they live and act.
The myth of THE ONE is in our minds. It is a unicorn found only in fairy tale books and romance novels. Those that are living what they believe is a fairy tale come true, chose well.

So choose well and you also may live happily ever after! ;)
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
38,546
14,972
113
67
Tennessee
#30
If it works out it is because they both made sure they were THE ONE by how they live and act.
The myth of THE ONE is in our minds. It is a unicorn found only in fairy tale books and romance novels. Those that are living what they believe is a fairy tale come true, chose well.

So choose well and you also may live happily ever after! ;)
I must be living in a fantasy world.
 
S

Scribe

Guest
#31
I must be living in a fantasy world.
Does that mean you are still looking for THE ONE? And as the original post asked, how would you know they were THE ONE? I suppose you could ask them to fetch you some water and if they get water for you and your 4 dogs then you know that they are THE ONE and that the Lord has surely lead you on your journey?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
38,546
14,972
113
67
Tennessee
#32
Does that mean you are still looking for THE ONE? And as the original post asked, how would you know they were THE ONE? I suppose you could ask them to fetch you some water and if they get water for you and your 4 dogs then you know that they are THE ONE and that the Lord has surely lead you on your journey?
No. My first marriage ended in divorce. After being single and celebrate for 18 years I remarried. That marriage ended with the premature death of my spouse.

No, I am certainly not still looking for THE ONE.

Shortly after I joined this site I met my current and last wife who is also a member. I prayed for God to search and find a woman with the love of God in her heart that was age appropriate for me. That was my only requirement. Period.

She has a wonderful spiritual heart. She was THE ONE. I took bold decisive action and started to PM her. She responded in kind. Our romance was documented in my thread Midnight Confessions and we would sing songs to each other in my Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band thread. Actually, I fetch my wife her water among other small tasks. I must a wild and crazy guy. I am certainly not a novice in matters of the heart as documented in my thread Rules of Engagement.

"I had second thoughts at the start.
I said to myself,
Hold on to your heart.
Now I know the woman that you are,
You're wonderful so far,

And it's more than I hoped for."

She is my unicorn.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
38,546
14,972
113
67
Tennessee
#33
All I can think of right now is a book title. "Thus saith the Lord... Or was that me?"
Certainly a question worth pondering. Besides being folksy yet erudite you are also quite witty and amusing. I don't often laugh but I chuckled when I read your post.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
38,546
14,972
113
67
Tennessee
#34
Years ago, someone (A trusted source) told my guy friend that a lady in our congregation said the Lord told lady and my guy friend were to marry. Now... lady is a hard working woman and is nice... a little quirky at times, but she is at least 10 yrs older than my friend. He had ZERO interest in her. Never showed her any interest. Etc etc etc. She never said anything to my friend though. I’m sure he was grateful for that. And the Lord never said anything to him about getting with lady.

He married someone else a month ago. I wonder how lady felt about it.
The Lord probably told her that it's going to be OK.
 
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
113
#35
He was at IBM at the time and a little while later called to preach. He was the top salesman at the time. I guess some of his co-workers were on a different plane, lol.
Cool. So God did send her to save him. I love hearing stories like this...
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
9,334
8,266
113
#36
Cool. So God did send her to save him. I love hearing stories like this...
He was leaning that way and I'm sure God put her there to be partner to the future world-wide ministry for Christ he heads.
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
1,262
743
113
#37
The Lord probably told her that it's going to be OK.
Well that's the rub, isn't it? I mean, to every splendor in the grass moment there's a broken heart. An unrequieted love. Someone loved and then lost. And I think if one is convinced by faith that "the one" was found and then lost, then that would be taxing to their faith. Wouldn't it? It would make them question their "conversations" with God; their feelings toward God.

So, in effect, it's a little hazardous to believe there's someone that God has chosen for me. Not only is it unsanctioned scripturally, but also dangerous to one's faith. I'm not saying God doesn't intervene in matters of love, but I believe He picks His battles. And while God does help us with His will for our lives, He's less likely to help with our own. I think that's hard on people. Heartbreaking. It leaves an empty and undeserving vacancy in otherwise good hearts.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
38,546
14,972
113
67
Tennessee
#38
Well that's the rub, isn't it? I mean, to every splendor in the grass moment there's a broken heart. An unrequieted love. Someone loved and then lost. And I think if one is convinced by faith that "the one" was found and then lost, then that would be taxing to their faith. Wouldn't it? It would make them question their "conversations" with God; their feelings toward God.

So, in effect, it's a little hazardous to believe there's someone that God has chosen for me. Not only is it unsanctioned scripturally, but also dangerous to one's faith. I'm not saying God doesn't intervene in matters of love, but I believe He picks His battles. And while God does help us with His will for our lives, He's less likely to help with our own. I think that's hard on people. Heartbreaking. It leaves an empty and undeserving vacancy in otherwise good hearts.
Well spoken. God does provide wisdom to discern whether or not to pursue a relationship but, in the end, it is a decision that each one must make on their own. Entering into a relationship that may lead to marriage is very much a calculated risk and not to be entered into lightly.
 
S

Scribe

Guest
#39
Well that's the rub, isn't it? I mean, to every splendor in the grass moment there's a broken heart. An unrequieted love. Someone loved and then lost. And I think if one is convinced by faith that "the one" was found and then lost, then that would be taxing to their faith. Wouldn't it? It would make them question their "conversations" with God; their feelings toward God.

So, in effect, it's a little hazardous to believe there's someone that God has chosen for me. Not only is it unsanctioned scripturally, but also dangerous to one's faith. I'm not saying God doesn't intervene in matters of love, but I believe He picks His battles. And while God does help us with His will for our lives, He's less likely to help with our own. I think that's hard on people. Heartbreaking. It leaves an empty and undeserving vacancy in otherwise good hearts.
Well said! It is liberating to me. That God does not pick out your mate and tell you they are THE ONE. It puts the emphasis on our responsibility to choose wisely. And after we have chosen and entered into a covenant before God it requires us to see it through to death do us part. No making excuses "I misunderstood what God said" nonsense. God is not making you marry, He is not picking out your mate for you, but He is definitely holding you to your covenant vows. You make your bed and you lie in it. No weaseling out later by saying "they were not the One" They became THE ONE when you made the vows. They are not second best, they are not the one you settled for, they are the ONE because you vowed.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
13,884
3,905
113
#40
We've had many discussions here in Singles over the years about whether or not God makes "ONE" ultimate person for you or if there are a number of possible candidates...

One of the most profound posts I ever read about this topic was someone who pointed out that if God does indeed make ONE person just and only for you, what happens if that one person dies in childhood? Or marries someone else before you meet them?

Does that mean you're destined to be alone forever because your ONE person is no longer living or available? I know some people might say that if God has made that person just for you, He will preserve them until you are able to meet them. Maybe. I'm certainly not trying to say that God can't work that way.

I've never believed that God made some magical person for everyone, but that's just me. It's one of the many things I'll want to ask about when we get the chance someday, even though it will no longer be relevant to our heavenly lives.