Guarding Your Heart

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MegMarch

Well-known member
Nov 11, 2019
284
288
63
#1
Hi, people!

I am interested in hearing how other believers date and simultaneously guard their hearts. What are some things you do to guard your heart while romantically dating someone?
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
29,330
7,827
113
65
Florida
#2
The thing is, unless you allow yourself to become vulnerable to a certain degree the development of trust will not happen, and that is critical in a relationship.
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
9,006
5,263
113
#3
Hi, people!

I am interested in hearing how other believers date and simultaneously guard their hearts. What are some things you do to guard your heart while romantically dating someone?
If I was in this situation, I would be asking God to guard my heart and to lean on His understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).
 

Godsgirl83

Well-known member
Apr 1, 2019
2,928
2,279
113
#4
Looking back in life, and when my kids are old enough to understand and be in these situations.........
right now as i think about this all that is coming to me is to use discretion when revealing past hurts and pains or things about your life that make you vulnerable. This is to avoid having someone ( who perhaps doesn't have the best intentions) know these weaknesses and somehow use them against you.
 
Jan 3, 2019
78
66
18
#5
Hi, people!

I am interested in hearing how other believers date and simultaneously guard their hearts. What are some things you do to guard your heart while romantically dating someone?
I, personally, do not date. May I ask you to define what you mean by "romantically dating?" That phrase probably means very different things to certain people.

Let's say, for example, that you mean kissing, a term which also can have very different meanings. Not dating obviously guards me from getting to this point with someone. Among many other reasons, I wouldn't want to disrespect the potential wife of another man by kissing his future bride "romantically."
 

Gregoryp

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2019
411
315
63
#7
unfortunately in my experience , narcissism is alive and well , so I wouldn't be sharing much at all about my private life, my passions etc, these people will one day use that information against you. Make sure you know the person your dating very well, and follow your instincts, you will know if they are ok or not. This is something that has taken me a long time to learn. MGTOW for me now
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
3,212
1,232
113
#8
Hi, people!

I am interested in hearing how other believers date and simultaneously guard their hearts. What are some things you do to guard your heart while romantically dating someone?
I can't say I really date, but I can say that one of the things I have found useful is to ride out the first rush of excitement of new, interesting person where it's so easy to make assumptions based on too little info. And to realize that a relationship and knowing a person will take time and seeing them in a bunch of different seasons in life. And until that time has been invested to not make too many long term plans or ridiculous declarations about how much I need or can't / don't want to live without the other person. Seems to have done a fairly good job of guarding my heart, but not a very good job of getting me any dates.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
4,720
1,848
113
#9
um. I have heard people say that in church basically its code for DONT DATE ANYONE your pastor doesnt approve of.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
616
606
93
#10
The care and feeding of the heart 101
Be careful where you leave it. When you are lonely it is tempting to put it on the free table in your apartment lobby (Just run with the image for a moment) to see if anyone will pick it up. You need to value it more than that.
Don't hand it off to anyone who looks at it sideways. We spend more time investigating restaurant reviews that potential dates.
Ask questions and really listen to the answers. Sometimes we really want something to work and we ignore what others are telling us and even what they are saying. I had a friend who really liked this guy at her church. He told her he was never marrying again. She ignored that thinking she could change his mind. After several months she ended up sad and rather single.
Don't jump ahead. There are a lot of jokes about women having full relationships with guys before they make it across the room to talk to them. The fellow says hi and the woman has already planned their summer schedule. Yes it is just humour but it is easy to analyze something to death before it starts.
Spend some time together and see them as a person. So many people get it backwards. They try and decide if there is a future before they know them. Do not hand your heart to someone you do not really know. If you do jump to "I love you" too quickly, it tells them is that you don't really care who they are, you are just looking for someone to fill a role, a void in your life.
That one goes both ways. If a fellow buys you a ring before you have even said you love them, that is a warning flag.
Don't give your heart away too soon and don't let them declare intentions if you don't believe that they see you.
Be wise. That one is hard when you are lonely and you just want to believe that he is the right one. Love yourself enough to be wise.
It is easy for people to say the right things, so take your time. You are worth it.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
920
1,001
93
#11
unfortunately in my experience , narcissism is alive and well , so I wouldn't be sharing much at all about my private life, my passions etc, these people will one day use that information against you. Make sure you know the person your dating very well, and follow your instincts, you will know if they are ok or not. This is something that has taken me a long time to learn. MGTOW for me now
Narcissism is alive and well, but we can’t let that hold us back. We have to take some risk to be open and vulnerable to really get to know that person well. Yes follow your instincts but more importantly follow the Holy Spirit.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
920
1,001
93
#12
Hi, people!

I am interested in hearing how other believers date and simultaneously guard their hearts. What are some things you do to guard your heart while romantically dating someone?
Pray before meeting that person. Listen to the Holy Spirit for guidance and peace about him or her. Talk about Jesus, do they accept and receive it well? Love takes time, go as slow as you need to really get to know that person well.
 

JustEli

Well-known member
Dec 23, 2018
929
698
93
45
#13
Try to discover early on whom they blame for their own lifes troubles.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
920
1,001
93
#14
Above all else... protecting our souls. This takes great focus but so worth it eternally speaking.

Proverbs 4:23-27 New International Version (NIV)
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
24 Keep your mouth free of perversity;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Give careful thought to the[a] paths for your feet
and be steadfast in all your ways.
27 Do not turn to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
4,720
1,848
113
#15
My heart belongs to Daddy (Abba)
because my Daddy He treats it so well.

If you dont know that song, google it. For the ladies. I dont know what the advice is for the gents.
 

MegMarch

Well-known member
Nov 11, 2019
284
288
63
#16
The care and feeding of the heart 101
Be careful where you leave it. When you are lonely it is tempting to put it on the free table in your apartment lobby (Just run with the image for a moment) to see if anyone will pick it up. You need to value it more than that.
Don't hand it off to anyone who looks at it sideways. We spend more time investigating restaurant reviews that potential dates.
Ask questions and really listen to the answers. Sometimes we really want something to work and we ignore what others are telling us and even what they are saying. I had a friend who really liked this guy at her church. He told her he was never marrying again. She ignored that thinking she could change his mind. After several months she ended up sad and rather single.
Don't jump ahead. There are a lot of jokes about women having full relationships with guys before they make it across the room to talk to them. The fellow says hi and the woman has already planned their summer schedule. Yes it is just humour but it is easy to analyze something to death before it starts.
Spend some time together and see them as a person. So many people get it backwards. They try and decide if there is a future before they know them. Do not hand your heart to someone you do not really know. If you do jump to "I love you" too quickly, it tells them is that you don't really care who they are, you are just looking for someone to fill a role, a void in your life.
That one goes both ways. If a fellow buys you a ring before you have even said you love them, that is a warning flag.
Don't give your heart away too soon and don't let them declare intentions if you don't believe that they see you.
Be wise. That one is hard when you are lonely and you just want to believe that he is the right one. Love yourself enough to be wise.
It is easy for people to say the right things, so take your time. You are worth it.
This is a gold mine of wisdom. I see a common theme of taking time to get to know the person. I'm at the point in my life where I am content being single. I am in no rush to get married, but I am still open to it as well.

Thank you so much for your sound advice!
 

Gregoryp

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2019
411
315
63
#17
I have been going out in the world with an open heart and open mind. There must be someone out there , I shall have to wait on the lord for the person.
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
9,006
5,263
113
#18
I have been going out in the world with an open heart and open mind. There must be someone out there , I shall have to wait on the lord for the person.
But then it makes me think, what if we’re destined to be single? Just as Paul the Apostle was?
 

Gregoryp

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2019
411
315
63
#19
um. I have heard people say that in church basically its code for DONT DATE ANYONE your pastor doesnt approve of.
lol, your pastor hasn't a say in the matter, its a matter between your soul/heart and the person concerned. Pray if your in doubt.
 

Gregoryp

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2019
411
315
63
#20
But then it makes me think, what if we’re destined to be single? Just as Paul the Apostle was?
if your heart desires a beloved, then so be it. It does say to in scripture to avoid marriage if possible, but if your heart says otherwise, then begin looking.