How Can One Pick Up on Red Flag Levels of Addiction/Mental Illness, Especially Online?

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Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,392
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#81
A worthy introspection indeed! (for each and every one of us - and, I am already giving it serious consideration - I am truly glad that you mentioned it...)

However, at the same time - what will it do for oppression and burdens if the watchers do not warn, the encouragers do not remind others to maintain high standards, etc. etc. etc. ?

Will using "lazy english" when we post help anything/everything? Or, will it cause a greater communication burden? more confusion? misinterpretation? bad/hurt feelings? misguided resolve? anger? What else? (I am pretty sure the list is long.)

Shall we all just play the PC game and see how that works out? :unsure: :rolleyes:

Believe-it-or-not, my efforts are - as you also said about yourself - intended to help - only, in a different way of helping than what you are trying to do.

Believe-it-or-not, my efforts are intended to get others to think more about others - to give consideration to the ramifications of the way they do the things that they do - in this case, how they write their posts.

A well-written post might keep seoulsearch's nerves intact and keep her from binge-drinking a 12-pack of POP. ;)

(I am pretty sure she is just kidding around, and I am not trying to put any 'blame', etc. on you - I am only making a point about ramifications.)

We certainly do not know in enough detail where our conversations will lead - or how they will affect people - the point is - that we "do our [reasonable] best" - [simply] because we should. And, admittedly, with regard to 'ramifications' - we are for-the-absolute-most-part talking about not-too-serious things here. I realize that. But, again, the point is that we do our [reasonable] best.

That means not letting our 'english' get 'lazy' when we post.

That means looking at what we write from the reader's POV.

As-and-after we write it, we should try to imagine how it will appear and come across to the reader.

You try to minimize unnecessary conflict and "raise the level of comfort in the room" by injecting "easy-going" discussion, humor, etc. - I try to raise awareness of the necessary things which may create self-conflict in those who are offended if a brother tries to encourage them to 'raise the bar' a bit for the good/sake of others.

Your efforts "feel good" - and, therefore, you are 'liked' by everyone - my efforts are important but do not yield the same "feel good" result in others - [often] I get judged for my efforts - sometimes, I "get the finger" (in essence) for my efforts. Yet, I judge no one. A [brotherly] "friendly reminder" is my only intent.

We each have our 'realm' where God put us.

Of course, I often make attempts at humor - because, I do have "a lighter side" - that I really wish other people would [be willing to] see.

If they did, it would probably help them understand that - if/when I "make a point" about something - it is intended to "help" and not be judgmental or harsh, etc...

I would hope that they should realize that - at the very least - my intentions are good - and, not be too quick to be offended.

Believe-it-or-not, I appreciate some of the things that you do and say in your posts - because of what you are trying to do.

I only wish people better appreciated some of the things that I do and say in my posts - because of what I am trying to do.

:coffee::coffee::coffee::coffee::coffee::coffee::coffee:

(plenty for everyone)
Well let's see...

You overanalyze the crap out of everything other people don't even notice, much less care about.

Then you upbraid them roundly about it.

Then you wonder why people don't accept you the way you want.

Gee, can't figure that one out. It's a total mystery to me.

(By the way 'this' and "this" don't mean the things you keep saying they mean, at least not where I live. And since nobody else is picking up what you're laying down, it seems this is just a you thing. Maybe it's regional, something people in your town do that nobody else knows about. Alternatively it might be an arcane rule that nobody even knows about any more, much less uses.)
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
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#82
We all have our own peculiarities and propensities and preferences. When we require others to act in accordance with our preferences, we have, in effect, placed on another our personal commandment. Instead of allowing others to act in accordance with their own preferences, we place the burden of our preference upon them.
A little honest introspection will reveal how frequently we actually do this. It was way more than I expected in my own life. I sure had way more than 10 commandments, and I didn't even establish a priesthood.
 

17Bees

Senior Member
Oct 14, 2016
1,372
808
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#83
We all have our own peculiarities and propensities and preferences. When we require others to act in accordance with our preferences, we have, in effect, placed on another our personal commandment. Instead of allowing others to act in accordance with their own preferences, we place the burden of our preference upon them.
A little honest introspection will reveal how frequently we actually do this. It was way more than I expected in my own life. I sure had way more than 10 commandments, and I didn't even establish a priesthood.
Wouldn't it be cool if you and GaryA lived in the same town?!. Like East Palestine? I'd totally watch that movie.
 
May 13, 2024
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#84
I really appreciate all the input on this thread.

Something else that inspired this thread was a YouTube video about a show in which a man sees a sad, lonely woman at a pub (I think it's set in the UK,) and offers her a cup of tea as a gesture of kindness.

The woman then becomes psychotically attached to the man, to the point where she is continuously stalking him and then trying to ruin his life because he doesn't return her interest. It's said to be based on a particular true story.

Many of us probably know (or have gone through) this type of thing in some form in real life.

That poor man -- how was he to know his compassion would have such dire consequences?

And yet, I've known a few people who found themselves facing similar circumstances just because they tried to be nice, and it's always had me wondering if it somehow could have been prevented.
Hello there... a curiously deep topic, maybe a professional can help those in need, there are many christian professionals as well. Something to consider for those truly needing it. There are a lot of variables and with today's culture and environment, it seems so many things can be labelled, something they aren't. So many things can be taken out of context. So much of today's culture seems to want to label people based on even a one time event. So often it leads to permanence, with little chance of offering hope. Hope is something our Messiah offers all of us.

Now granted, there's choice and layers of complexity; I am not a professional, however sadly, I've had some deeply painful experiences on the subject, and when someone is struggling and doesn't see or choose hope, it's impacts can be tragic; The ripple affect on those closest to them and the lasting affect when hope is lost, has so many challenges, it's hard to imagine how big an impact it really will turn out to be.

Which again is why hope is needed, for everyone; At any time our Messiah can be chosen, and HE is alwasy bigger than any problem in anyone's life;

Yet agian though, that leaves questions, choices, and the impacts of those choices; Living in a world that is increasing in challenges, increasing it hurts and struggles for so many, increasingly labelling everything it can label, and there are some serious implications in all of this; A hurting world, with hurting people, grows more challenging to navigate;

So imagine if the approach was salvation focused, imagine if we dug a little deeper into scripture, imagine we took HIS words more seriously, and found a way to adapt them to any scenario we face, maybe we could then be better equipped to handle challenges as they arise; I know I've got some digging to do, some learning to do;

Even the people our Messiah loved, hurt him, Stephen was martyred by 'colleagues', The disciples preached and were hated and what does that have to do with this subject? Maybe it's stretch, but consider that their love, their words and their actions towards the people of this world, never kept any of them from harm; Instead, our Messiah teaches us about trusting HIM, and ways we can respond; There's wisdom, safety and other things like this to apply, of course; That's why digging into those teachings and reflecting on how they can apply today, may just prove helpful for whatever situation we find ourselves in.
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
15,752
5,586
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#85
Wouldn't it be cool if you and GaryA lived in the same town?!. Like East Palestine? I'd totally watch that movie.
But would you pay to see it?
It's an interesting concept. When I went through a very unexpected divorce, I was very concerned for the emotional and psychological effect it would have on my kids. One of the things I made sure we did was eat dinner together each day. It kept us all together and provided opportunities for everyone to share their concerns and feel connected.
We also started reading through the Bible together and I would let the kids retell the stories from their own perspectives. It was actually quite entertaining having their perspective and understanding about the Bible. I almost wish I had put up a hidden camera and started a YouTube channel. Duck Dynasty had nothing on us.
 
J

jennymae

Guest
#86
And the worst part is, she's not just an ignorant yankee. She actually knows what she is talking about. She has sojourned in the South (and I don't mean Florida, I mean the real South) for MONTHS at a time.

And she still said that about sweet tea. This is just sad.
I’m sure she meant that other word starting with a ‘p’. Am I using the quotations correctly?
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,392
8,388
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#87
I’m sure she meant that other word starting with a ‘p’. Am I using the quotations correctly?
I don't give a fart in a whirlwind what she said about coke. (Whatever soda it is, it's a coke. "Get me a coke while you're up?" "What kind?" "Orange crush if we got it.") I'm not too big on soft drinks.

But to say what she said about sweet tea... smh
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
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#88
She was just putting a spur under your saddle, pardner.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,392
8,388
113
#89
She was just putting a spur under your saddle, pardner.
I know. And I'm not even really big on sweet tea. But as a southerner I have an image to maintain.

Go (some kind of sports team)!

Also, kiss my grits.
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
15,752
5,586
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#90
I know. And I'm not even really big on sweet tea. But as a southerner I have an image to maintain.

Go (some kind of sports team)!

Also, kiss my grits.
Well, bless your heart.
 
J

jennymae

Guest
#91
I don't give a fart in a whirlwind what she said about coke. (Whatever soda it is, it's a coke. "Get me a coke while you're up?" "What kind?" "Orange crush if we got it.") I'm not too big on soft drinks.

But to say what she said about sweet tea... smh
I didn’t read what she said the way you did. Pop didn’t even come to mind whenever I responded. I was talking about something completely different.🤣
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
15,233
4,702
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#93
I know. And I'm not even really big on sweet tea. But as a southerner I have an image to maintain. Also, kiss my grits.
I know you're Southern and all, but I'm not sure the forum can handle such harsh language. 🤯

Man, when you Southerners let someone have it, you really don't hold anything back!! o_O

P.S. I don't even like grits.

Well, that's only a half-truth. I didn't THINK I liked grits until I had them at a restaurant where I'm pretty sure the butter-to-grits ratio was like 4 cups of butter to one cup of grits -- and they were heavenly!
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
25,392
8,388
113
#96
I don't think that comes across as much about you in person but I could be wrong. From what I've seen in person is that you like to make people feel better by chauffeuring, cooking mass amounts of food (even if it means accidentally swiping someone's designated personal loaf of low-carb bread,) and most of all, making people laugh.
Okay so I may have used somebody's low-carb bread to make french toast... And my minivan may have not been up to the task of hauling all of us... And I may have brought a third of my house packed in the minivan because I wasn't sure what we would need...

But this was my first meetup. I had no practice at all with this kind of stuff. If we had meetups MORE OFTEN I would have everything down to a science.

What? You thought this was going to be defensive? Silly girl! Almost anything can be turned into an argument for having more meetups. :cool: