How Can One Pick Up on Red Flag Levels of Addiction/Mental Illness, Especially Online?
- Thread starter seoulsearch
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And, if I may expound a bit on what jennymae is saying here - if you were born and raised in the South, you were taught 'Southern Hospitality' - any 'aggression' is coming from something/somewhere else - it is not any part of what it means to be [truly] 'Southern'. 
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I've been contemplating this for the past few days.
Having known you for a long time (over a decade now that I've been a thorn in your side!) and also having spent time around you in real-life groups, I personally don't think it's as much about you having red flags in person.
Rather, I think it's more about the capacity for people to become attached to a deeper side of someone that might only (or more evidently) surface online.
The first several years I was here on CC, I was wavering in and out of some of very deep bouts of depression. To avoid any online censorship no-no's in the way it's worded, I'll just say that I had times when I have thought of punching my own ticket to heaven. I didn't explicitly say that in my posts, but something obviously must have shown through.
I wish I had my old private messages from that time (around 2013-2014,) but I think they got wiped in one of the multiple system updates over the years. All I can remember is that you sent me a message, and I can't remember exactly what you said, but I remember you summed it all up by saying, "I've been reading a lot of your posts, and I can tell you're having a hard time. I was just wondering, is there anything I can do to help?"
You and I had known each other a bit from bantering in the forums. But you had the depth, and took the time, to ask what was going on beneath even my shiniest posts. I can't think of many people who have done that in my entire life. I think that's something about you that translates specifically online, so when you told our meetup group about women on the site who had become attached to you, I could certainly understand why. Not many people bother to notice or peak behind someone's personal curtain of suffering, let alone ask if they can help. And many people (women especially) are dying for someone to care.
I don't think that comes across as much about you in person but I could be wrong. From what I've seen in person is that you like to make people feel better by chauffeuring, cooking mass amounts of food (even if it means accidentally swiping someone's designated personal loaf of low-carb bread,) and most of all, making people laugh.
You live to serve people, and in real life, most of that comes through in trying to create a fun, helpful, and light-hearted atmosphere (translation -- you're a non-stop joke machine.)
It's an awesome thing for sure, but I'm thinking not many women in real life would ever pick up just how deep-thinking you really are behind the all the laughs.
Henceforth, it seems logical that more women craving that kind of response would notice (and cling to) this aspect of your personality online.
Having known you for a long time (over a decade now that I've been a thorn in your side!
) and also having spent time around you in real-life groups, I personally don't think it's as much about you having red flags in person.Rather, I think it's more about the capacity for people to become attached to a deeper side of someone that might only (or more evidently) surface online.
The first several years I was here on CC, I was wavering in and out of some of very deep bouts of depression. To avoid any online censorship no-no's in the way it's worded, I'll just say that I had times when I have thought of punching my own ticket to heaven. I didn't explicitly say that in my posts, but something obviously must have shown through.
I wish I had my old private messages from that time (around 2013-2014,) but I think they got wiped in one of the multiple system updates over the years. All I can remember is that you sent me a message, and I can't remember exactly what you said, but I remember you summed it all up by saying, "I've been reading a lot of your posts, and I can tell you're having a hard time. I was just wondering, is there anything I can do to help?"
You and I had known each other a bit from bantering in the forums. But you had the depth, and took the time, to ask what was going on beneath even my shiniest posts. I can't think of many people who have done that in my entire life. I think that's something about you that translates specifically online, so when you told our meetup group about women on the site who had become attached to you, I could certainly understand why. Not many people bother to notice or peak behind someone's personal curtain of suffering, let alone ask if they can help. And many people (women especially) are dying for someone to care.
I don't think that comes across as much about you in person but I could be wrong. From what I've seen in person is that you like to make people feel better by chauffeuring, cooking mass amounts of food (even if it means accidentally swiping someone's designated personal loaf of low-carb bread,) and most of all, making people laugh.
You live to serve people, and in real life, most of that comes through in trying to create a fun, helpful, and light-hearted atmosphere (translation -- you're a non-stop joke machine.)
It's an awesome thing for sure, but I'm thinking not many women in real life would ever pick up just how deep-thinking you really are behind the all the laughs.
Henceforth, it seems logical that more women craving that kind of response would notice (and cling to) this aspect of your personality online.
Yeah, that. The smart move is usually to fold and run.
I've been at my current job since 2009. I'm usually running on autopilot, even in busy times. I have a lot of time to think while my body is doing my job.
Sometimes I tell people the things I've been thinking about.
I get a lot of odd looks at w*rk...
I've been at my current job since 2009. I'm usually running on autopilot, even in busy times. I have a lot of time to think while my body is doing my job.
Sometimes I tell people the things I've been thinking about.
I get a lot of odd looks at w*rk...
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And, if I may expound a bit on what jennymae is saying here - if you were born and raised in the South, you were taught 'Southern Hospitality' - any 'aggression' is coming from something/somewhere else - it is not any part of what it means to be [truly] 'Southern'.
I believe the overall context of discussion has been about north-vs-south culture - way-of-thinking, way-of-life, etc.
The North and South cultures were well established long before the Civil War; and, no mention was made of the Civil War.
If her intent was to say that 'Aggression' was not part of Southern culture - then, I understood correctly and you did not.
If her intent was to say that "in that expression" the word 'Southern' should actually be 'Northern' - then, you understood correctly and I did not.
But, if that is true - and, she had used single quotes instead of double quotes - I would have understood that also just as you did.
In any case, it should be noted that the use of single or double quotes in certain situations can make a really big difference...
jennymae - with every manner of good southern honesty - what exactly-and-precisely did you mean by what you said in post #45?
But, that is only valid if @jennymae also declares that she understood that @seoulsearch was specifically making reference to Civil War era 'aggression'.
Even if seoulsearch was in fact making that specific reference, that does not also mean that jennymae understood it as such.
The [true] key thing is - what did jennymae mean in post #45 by what she said and the way she said it? And, only she can answer that.
Even if seoulsearch was in fact making that specific reference, that does not also mean that jennymae understood it as such.
The [true] key thing is - what did jennymae mean in post #45 by what she said and the way she said it? And, only she can answer that.