How "Financially Set" Does One Need to Be in Order to "Qualify" for Looking for a Spouse?

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What Financial Milestones Should Someone Achieve Before Looking to Date?

  • Debts paid off/being paid off regularly. (What kinds of debts are "acceptable" or not?)

    Votes: 6 66.7%
  • Can hold a steady job.

    Votes: 8 88.9%
  • Has X amount of savings. (How much?)

    Votes: 5 55.6%
  • Lives independently. (Alone? With roommies? Owns or rents? Stays at home to save money?)

    Votes: 7 77.8%
  • Pays bills on time.

    Votes: 7 77.8%
  • Isn't taking on more debt (or has good reasons for doing so. What are the reasons?)

    Votes: 6 66.7%
  • Pays for several others besides him/herself (who and why?) Family members? Friends? Freeloaders?

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Has X amount of debt and is too much to consider actively dating. (How much? $5000? $50,000? etc.)

    Votes: 1 11.1%
  • Finances don't matter. Go ahead and date -- just pray and trust God to work it all out!

    Votes: 1 11.1%
  • Other -- I want to share my thoughts/other answers in my post.

    Votes: 1 11.1%

  • Total voters
    9

SonJudgment

Well-known member
Jun 25, 2024
912
448
63
#21
In a sort of ironic way, or perhaps unironic way depending on your beliefs, but every successful godly couple I ever knew 100% of them started when the man had nothing. They started from the ground up and sort of grew together it seems, and since they had the godly mindset and godly true idea of marriage correct they have only stayed with eachother for so long, strengthening the legitimacy that they have true love for both eachother and God. For this reason I voted Finances don't matter, not as a matter of altruism, but as a matter of this seems the evidence of my own eyes cannot really deny.
 

Susanna

Well-known member
Apr 14, 2023
1,619
532
113
48
Galveston and Houston
#22
In a sort of ironic way, or perhaps unironic way depending on your beliefs, but every successful godly couple I ever knew 100% of them started when the man had nothing. They started from the ground up and sort of grew together it seems, and since they had the godly mindset and godly true idea of marriage correct they have only stayed with eachother for so long, strengthening the legitimacy that they have true love for both eachother and God. For this reason I voted Finances don't matter, not as a matter of altruism, but as a matter of this seems the evidence of my own eyes cannot really deny.
I don’t about men, but I was looking for potential before I married. None of us had anything.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,666
9,600
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#23
On the flipside, the thought of marrying a guy who was loaded and just played all the time is almost as unappealing as the thought of marrying a guy who couldn't live within his means and is always broke. So maybe it's more about living with conviction :unsure:.
That's what I was thinking when I asked about a rich guy who didn't do jack. I thought that might not be very attractive.

I'm probably doubly unattractive. I'm a fast food employee, and I have zero ambition. So I'm poor AND I don't have any observable potential.

It's a peaceful life though. Let others break themselves trying to get stuff. I'll be over here taking a nap.
 

Karlon

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2023
2,694
1,233
113
#24
if i was single, i'd make sure i had no debt, & $1,000,000 in the bank, at least. & a lot of that hidden!
 

Snackersmom

Senior Member
May 10, 2011
1,653
267
83
#25
That's what I was thinking when I asked about a rich guy who didn't do jack. I thought that might not be very attractive.

I'm probably doubly unattractive. I'm a fast food employee, and I have zero ambition. So I'm poor AND I don't have any observable potential.

It's a peaceful life though. Let others break themselves trying to get stuff. I'll be over here taking a nap.

Yeah, your comment is what I was thinking of when I said that but I've thought of it before when friends tell me to find an older rich guy to marry :rolleyes:. It really doesn't sound appealing to goof off all day. But a man who submits his finances to God, no matter how copious or meager they might be.... well that's a plus in my book! :cool:


In a sort of ironic way, or perhaps unironic way depending on your beliefs, but every successful godly couple I ever knew 100% of them started when the man had nothing. They started from the ground up and sort of grew together it seems

I think that can work quite well when the couple is young and just starting out, but at my age (41), if a man doesn't have anything put away for retirement (or even just a rainy day), I would want to know why. Perhaps he would have a good reason for it, but I'd still need to know the reason. Because otherwise I might end up working my butt off trying to earn retirement for BOTH of us. And if he decides to waste it instead (I'd have to submit to his decision), then I would be a very sad potato. :cautious:

So, broke at 20 is understandable, broke at 40 is a serious concern.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,666
9,600
113
#26
You identify as a potato? :p

Being a sad one would not be very a-peel-ing.

Okay I'll hush now.
 

Snackersmom

Senior Member
May 10, 2011
1,653
267
83
#27
You identify as a potato? :p

Being a sad one would not be very a-peel-ing.

Okay I'll hush now.
I'm only a potato when I'm sad. The rest of the time I identify as an aspiring bag lady. 😜
 

cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
4,436
2,423
113
#28
I think I'm kind of in agreement with the rest of the group that how you manage your finances is much more important than how much money you have, but also that by the time you get to be an older single you really should have some savings for the future. Though I'm going to put all of this in the context of whether you're a good match or not rather than if it's "right" for you to consider dating.
 
Feb 10, 2014
141
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#29
All those are excuses. As someone who has hidden by those excuses all his adult life, they are just excuses. I have come up with a myriad of excuses of why I "should not" read as: do not want to date.
 

daisyseesthesun

Well-known member
Aug 23, 2024
760
430
63
#30
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