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T
Then there are Christian women who you show interest in, nothing dodgy, and when you let them know (in a respectful way) they say they have a boyfriend, when they really just mean they're not interested in you. You know, that kind of thing annoys the stuffing out of me. If you don't like me, darn well say it. Blunt is good. Mind games are evil.
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K
I hear your frustration Tintin. It would be nice at times just to get the straight scope on a situation. I just saw a contestant on "The Voice" that is a albino black man. He never felt like he fit in as an Afro-American, and felt his appearance held him back. I don't know if you have seen the show, but the auditions are purely by ear. None of the judges picked him but at least he finally knew that it was purely due to his lack of ability. I think that you would like that kind of assurance. To know exactly what the women are rejecting you for, because then, at least, if it is something you can remedy, like bad breath, you could do it. If not, then at least you would know.
The problem is there are so many reasons why people are rejected. Most of them are more about where the other person is in their lives and what they are dealing with. I think that is why it is becoming popular among Christians to establish friendships first, and allow the romance to grow on its own. I know that you just want to share your life with another, and wish God would just point her out, but that rarely happens like that. God wants us to learn and grow, and that requires a lot of patience. I wasn't patient and I ended up in a bad marriage that held me captive until my daughter graduated and moved out on her own. Trust me, being single is much better than being in that.
There are a lot of incredible women out there, and if it is your true heart's desire to find a mate that will walk with you towards Godly endeavors, He will provide. The only thing that you can do now is keep working on yourself to be the man that kind of women needs and deserves. I believe in the end, it will be all worth it, and you will look back at this moment and laugh. Women are an incredible gift from God, and any time you spend with them can be rewarding, even just as friends. You don't realize how many marriages started off as friends. From what I've seen on this site, you have been and can be an outstanding friend.
The problem is there are so many reasons why people are rejected. Most of them are more about where the other person is in their lives and what they are dealing with. I think that is why it is becoming popular among Christians to establish friendships first, and allow the romance to grow on its own. I know that you just want to share your life with another, and wish God would just point her out, but that rarely happens like that. God wants us to learn and grow, and that requires a lot of patience. I wasn't patient and I ended up in a bad marriage that held me captive until my daughter graduated and moved out on her own. Trust me, being single is much better than being in that.
There are a lot of incredible women out there, and if it is your true heart's desire to find a mate that will walk with you towards Godly endeavors, He will provide. The only thing that you can do now is keep working on yourself to be the man that kind of women needs and deserves. I believe in the end, it will be all worth it, and you will look back at this moment and laugh. Women are an incredible gift from God, and any time you spend with them can be rewarding, even just as friends. You don't realize how many marriages started off as friends. From what I've seen on this site, you have been and can be an outstanding friend.
A
I have a purity ring (or as I call it, promise ring, same difference).
Physically, I'm not pure. I was saved not long ago and before my new life I lived recklessly and was quite worldly. Even after I was saved, I fell back in to sexual sin and found myself experience heavy bouts of shame and guilt. One day I woke up. I wanted to completely turn my life around so I turned away from that life style, asked for forgiveness and then bought myself a promise ring and can now say that I see myself as 'spiritually' pure. I wear a ring on my left hand because I see Jesus as my husband, my provider, and as the one and only who -knows- me. I wear it to remind me that if I fall back in to the old behaviours, I am breaking his heart and betraying my true love.
Now that I have grown in my spiritual walk, I now have the strength and wisdom to resist those kinds of temptations. I don't need a ring to remind me that Jesus has renewed my heart. I don't need this ring to remind me that Jesus satisfies the deepest core of my being. I have experienced the blessing, the love, the providential hand of my Saviour/King/Husband/my Everything, and have come to this place where I know I am so immensely loved and that all I want to do is give everything I have to Him. But I still wear this ring. I don't know why people would frown down on the idea of wearing something as a reminder. I see this ring and I am reminded of all the good things the Lord has done for me and His love and grace. I am reminded of this new life I live where the Lord constantly beckons me to come closer and deeper with Him. I want to be reminded of this when I wake up, when I brush my teeth, when I am driving in my car. If it takes a ring to trigger these memories, if it takes a small piece of metal to bring to the forefront of my mind the grace and tender mercy of my God, then so be it. It stays.
Not only does it remind me, but believe it or not it is actually a good way to minister to people. Many women, especially young women, ask me if I'm married. This subject usually leads me to ministering to them about what this ring means to me and why I wear it. Some people have shrugged it off and said it was stupid. Even I would have said something like this was stupid a couple of years ago. But I think its about time we started being bold and creating a counter culture to this world. I'm tired of seeing women in their brokenness, feeling used up and carrying guilt and shame. Maybe we need to stand up and make a loud declaration about the life that is free from guilt, condemnation, disgust and self-loathing, a life in and through Jesus Christ.
As far as men... I look forward to meeting the right one. I'd like to hope that he would have the courage to become acquainted with me, befriend me and learn of my values and beliefs before he makes any advances. If a man sees this ring and avoids me like the plague then I can say maybe we weren't meant to be. I would hope that my future husband would see me as a sister-in-Christ before he sees me as 'wife' material. If he assumes I'm married because of this ring, I hope it wouldn't bother him because we're not thinking of dating and pursuing each other from the get go but rather enjoying each others company in a safe and healthy context.
Well, that's my reply anyways...
Physically, I'm not pure. I was saved not long ago and before my new life I lived recklessly and was quite worldly. Even after I was saved, I fell back in to sexual sin and found myself experience heavy bouts of shame and guilt. One day I woke up. I wanted to completely turn my life around so I turned away from that life style, asked for forgiveness and then bought myself a promise ring and can now say that I see myself as 'spiritually' pure. I wear a ring on my left hand because I see Jesus as my husband, my provider, and as the one and only who -knows- me. I wear it to remind me that if I fall back in to the old behaviours, I am breaking his heart and betraying my true love.
Now that I have grown in my spiritual walk, I now have the strength and wisdom to resist those kinds of temptations. I don't need a ring to remind me that Jesus has renewed my heart. I don't need this ring to remind me that Jesus satisfies the deepest core of my being. I have experienced the blessing, the love, the providential hand of my Saviour/King/Husband/my Everything, and have come to this place where I know I am so immensely loved and that all I want to do is give everything I have to Him. But I still wear this ring. I don't know why people would frown down on the idea of wearing something as a reminder. I see this ring and I am reminded of all the good things the Lord has done for me and His love and grace. I am reminded of this new life I live where the Lord constantly beckons me to come closer and deeper with Him. I want to be reminded of this when I wake up, when I brush my teeth, when I am driving in my car. If it takes a ring to trigger these memories, if it takes a small piece of metal to bring to the forefront of my mind the grace and tender mercy of my God, then so be it. It stays.
Not only does it remind me, but believe it or not it is actually a good way to minister to people. Many women, especially young women, ask me if I'm married. This subject usually leads me to ministering to them about what this ring means to me and why I wear it. Some people have shrugged it off and said it was stupid. Even I would have said something like this was stupid a couple of years ago. But I think its about time we started being bold and creating a counter culture to this world. I'm tired of seeing women in their brokenness, feeling used up and carrying guilt and shame. Maybe we need to stand up and make a loud declaration about the life that is free from guilt, condemnation, disgust and self-loathing, a life in and through Jesus Christ.
As far as men... I look forward to meeting the right one. I'd like to hope that he would have the courage to become acquainted with me, befriend me and learn of my values and beliefs before he makes any advances. If a man sees this ring and avoids me like the plague then I can say maybe we weren't meant to be. I would hope that my future husband would see me as a sister-in-Christ before he sees me as 'wife' material. If he assumes I'm married because of this ring, I hope it wouldn't bother him because we're not thinking of dating and pursuing each other from the get go but rather enjoying each others company in a safe and healthy context.
Well, that's my reply anyways...
S
So, they are habitual liars if they say they have a boyfriend but don't.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet on them then. As much as many people say it's a good idea to tell "white lies" to spare others' feelings, it's a horrible idea.
It doesn't even have to be a lie. "I'm just not interested in dating right now" would be a very valid answer and a lot less deceptive than claiming to have a boyfriend.
Gaaah, the friend zone!
No, just kidding. You make some very valid points. People rush into things way too quickly, but sometimes an accidental date has yielded tremendous results. But, both parties have to be strong enough going into it that they they will not allow their hearts to cloud their judgment, nor their desire for a spouse.
No, that ring can be seen as just a ring. It's not on a tradional ring finger so it's just a ring.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet on them then. As much as many people say it's a good idea to tell "white lies" to spare others' feelings, it's a horrible idea.
It doesn't even have to be a lie. "I'm just not interested in dating right now" would be a very valid answer and a lot less deceptive than claiming to have a boyfriend.
Gaaah, the friend zone!
No, just kidding. You make some very valid points. People rush into things way too quickly, but sometimes an accidental date has yielded tremendous results. But, both parties have to be strong enough going into it that they they will not allow their hearts to cloud their judgment, nor their desire for a spouse.
No, that ring can be seen as just a ring. It's not on a tradional ring finger so it's just a ring.
I'm with Rachel. I never thought about that. I always assumed it was only the left hand's ring finger that meant 'taken', at least in modern American society.
I have a high school graduation ring that I wear on the ring finger of my right hand, because that's the finger I sized it for and it feels weird wearing it on any other finger. I never thought it could lead to confusion. Interesting.
And in response to the OP, I have worn a purity necklace before (yes, the good ol' "True Love Waits"). I was 14-15 when I received it but I stopped wearing it after a while. I say it ought to be discerned by the individual. For some people, it is a precious symbolic reminder of a promise they have made, similar to the importance some people place on wedding bands. If your motives are pure (no pun intended) and it really is benefiting you, I see nothing wrong in wearing one. As with wedding bands, remember it is only a symbol. We need to commit to purity regardless of whether we wear a purity ring or not.
I have a high school graduation ring that I wear on the ring finger of my right hand, because that's the finger I sized it for and it feels weird wearing it on any other finger. I never thought it could lead to confusion. Interesting.
And in response to the OP, I have worn a purity necklace before (yes, the good ol' "True Love Waits"). I was 14-15 when I received it but I stopped wearing it after a while. I say it ought to be discerned by the individual. For some people, it is a precious symbolic reminder of a promise they have made, similar to the importance some people place on wedding bands. If your motives are pure (no pun intended) and it really is benefiting you, I see nothing wrong in wearing one. As with wedding bands, remember it is only a symbol. We need to commit to purity regardless of whether we wear a purity ring or not.
X
Mmmm all very good talk here you guys.
I thought about it some and I think I more-so want to wear one
because I think my commitment to pleasing god and trying to live a christian life is
something that should be showed off and if people ask questions, its an opportunity to lead them into the right path.
I can name some people I know off-hand that didn't wait and continually regret things they have done in the past.
A lot of people think that once you mess up, what is the point in re-committing them self? When you think about it logically, if you have an injury, is it going to help for you to continually scratch and pull at it? No, you let it heal. People don't know that your past can be washed away and you be forgiven of all your wrongdoings. I think thats the main reason I want to wear one.
I thought about it some and I think I more-so want to wear one
because I think my commitment to pleasing god and trying to live a christian life is
something that should be showed off and if people ask questions, its an opportunity to lead them into the right path.
I can name some people I know off-hand that didn't wait and continually regret things they have done in the past.
A lot of people think that once you mess up, what is the point in re-committing them self? When you think about it logically, if you have an injury, is it going to help for you to continually scratch and pull at it? No, you let it heal. People don't know that your past can be washed away and you be forgiven of all your wrongdoings. I think thats the main reason I want to wear one.
1
The one my mom gave me has 3 hearts - one large silver one and 2 smaller gold ones that interlock. She always told me one heart was for my late grandmother (that helped raise me), one was for her and the larger one symbolized God's love for me. It's on my ring finger. I'm not perfect but this is a constant reminder of their love for me.
The purity ring is a symbolism but it won't magically make you abstain from sex before marriage. You need prayer, the right people around you and the right connection to God to stay on that path.
The purity ring is a symbolism but it won't magically make you abstain from sex before marriage. You need prayer, the right people around you and the right connection to God to stay on that path.
S
though btw I plan to wear white if I marry again. I never got the wedding dress so that's what i want..(probably simple but still) for those who balk?
I can honestly say I am way more pure than some ladies getting married in white these days no matter if I have been married before..
I can honestly say I am way more pure than some ladies getting married in white these days
no matter if I have been married before..
Best homer simpson voice.
Somebody rolled back the odometer eh Marge?
Just messing with you. You're probably right. I was horrified when a friend told me how many men she'd been with. I just... didn't need to know that information.
Also, as far as purity rings... Interesting story.
I met someone who I would have asked out at random the other day, but I didn't. There was a ring and I couldn't tell if it was purity or promise. So I bailed on the operation.
I probably should have yelled BROKEN ARROW, but that might have freaked people out. Also, this was a retail store, not Vietnam. Additionally, I never served in the armed forces, and I wasn't even alive for Vietnam, so, it would have been in bad taste.
The system works though. I'm really not looking to date right now, being unemployed kind of limits one's date options.
The system works.
Yeah a ring of any kind is usually a deterrent for me too.
I think there is a correlation between the proportional number of rings a girl wears and the level deterrence I exhibit in pursuing her.
(Its mostly for hygienic reasons though. A lot stuff gets stuck in on and under rings. and just washing your hands doesn't really get it. Its like someone who doesn't clean their fingernails, every time they wash their hands.)
I think there is a correlation between the proportional number of rings a girl wears and the level deterrence I exhibit in pursuing her.
(Its mostly for hygienic reasons though. A lot stuff gets stuck in on and under rings. and just washing your hands doesn't really get it. Its like someone who doesn't clean their fingernails, every time they wash their hands.)
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